Pairing: Kinda Zane/Jack preslash
Rating: PG
Timeline: Between season two and three.
Spoilers: Right as Raynes, kind of.
Summary: Zane and Jo aren't dating. This is Eureka; all the good ones are either gay, married or robots.
A/N: This was supposed to be more Zane/Carter then it ended up being.
Beta: Conser - .net/u/585614/Conser
Feedback: is always welcome
Disclaimer: Not mine. I play with other people's toys.
Posted: May 11, 2010


Jack grinned at Jo as his deputy came back from lunch. "So, when are you two going to stop pretending and actually call what you're doing 'dating'?"

"What're you talking about, Carter?" She looked at him oddly as she sat. "Any calls over lunch?"

"Nope. And I'm talking about you and Zane."

"We're not dating."

"Yeah?" He arched his eyebrow in disbelief. "Who'd you have lunch with then? Fargo?"

Jo rolled her eyes. "Yes, I had lunch with Zane. That doesn't mean we're going out. It means we're friends. You had lunch with Allison yesterday. Does that mean you're daiting?"

"Not the same thing at all," Jack said immediately.

"Why not?" she challenged.

"It's just... not. Things with Allison are complicated."

"You don't get it, Carter." She sighed, exasperated. Then she repeated what she'd told Dr. Blake more then a year ago. "This is Eureka. All the good ones are either gay, married or robots."

Jack looked at her, confused. "Zane's a robot?"

Jo sighed. Carter always was a bit slow on the uptake. "Sure," she said. "We'll go with that."

She pulled out her latest issue of Military Ma'am and turned away from him, hoping he'd let it drop.

..

"Zane!" Carter stalked towards the scientist about to leave GD.

"Whatever it is, Sheriff, I swear it wasn't me!" Donovan replied automatically.

"It wasn't you in my front closet at Zoe's party?"

A small smirk curled on Zane's lips, uninvited. "Well, yeah, okay, that iwas/i me." He was still proud of that.

"And flirting insanely with Jo, ordering her obscene amounts of sexy underwear on imy/i credit card?" Carter crossed his arms.

"Well, yeah..." he repeated, lifting an eyebrow. Where was Carter going with this?

"And I'm assuming it's you she's meeting for lunch lately, because if Zoe's skipping class school again--"

"It's me, Carter." Zane gave a slight shrug and relaxed his stance, realizing he wasn't going to be arrested again. At least, not today.

"So it is you!" The Sheriff almost sounded triumphant. Zane looked at him oddly.

"Yes, Carter, those instances were me," he said slowly. "You knew they were. You were there for most of them. At least," he smirked again, "Some parts of most of them." Carter uncrossed his arms and waved them in between him and Zane, as if physically shielding himself from the details.

"Yeah, yeah." Zane refrained from divulging more than that, and Carter shoved his hands in his pockets before starting again. "So why won't you two admit you're dating?"

"Oh, that one's easy." Zane flashed him his thousand-watt smile that was known to melt even the most hard-asses he'd encountered. "Because we're not."

"Really?" Carter seemed a tad skeptical.

"Yeah." When Carter didn't budge, he arched an eyebrow at the older man. "Can I go now?"

"No," the sheriff said stubbornly, glaring at him.

Time for the smile again. "As much fun as it is having you handcuff me, Sheriff, I don't think you can lock me up for not going out with your deputy." This time, accompanied with a wink, it worked. A blush spread across Carter's face and he took a step back.

"Um... what?"

"I'm not dating Jo. She's beautiful and a lot of fun, but long-term, she's really just not my type." Zane looked at his watch and sighed. "Now I really have to go. You should just ask Jo, if it's bugging you that much." He stepped toward the exit.

"She said it's because you're a robot."

What? "She said what?" Zane walked back to the other man, reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "I swear, Sheriff Carter, I am as human and all-American as you are." He gave the blonde his filthiest grin. "I may not spend my time off watching baseball and drinking beer, but if you want, there are other ways I am capable of proving that to you."

With that, he turned and slowly sauntered out of the building, leaving the dumbfounded Sheriff staring after him.

..

"I may not spend my time off watching baseball and drinking beer, but if you want, there are other ways I am capable of proving that to you." The words echoed through Jack's mind as he watched the younger man sashay through the foyer of Global as though he owned the place.

"Prove... Can't anyone give a straight answer around here?" Carter trailed off, thinking back to his earlier conversation with his Deputy. "Robot, married, or... oh crap." He pulled his hands out of his pockets and stormed out of GD, deliberately going in the opposite direction of Zane. "I am gonna kill Jo."