A/N: This is my interpretation of "SPICE!" and "RIP=RELEASE" so it may not be entirely according to the original composer's vision since I tweaked some parts. Anyways, this is my first time writing something with sexual content. No, this isn't lemon. I lack the knowledge to write a lemon fic.
I usually don't like songs with any sexual innuendos but "SPICE!" is an exception. For me, the song isn't just about Len wanting to bang his sister. I believe it to be a story of a desperate kind of love for those who are afraid to love. The truth is, people have commitment issues because, more often than not, they've already committed to something or someone else. That's why most people find "the Player" an intriguing and complex character. I see him as more of the victim than the perpetrator. And as for those who fall for his wily charms, well that's another story.
Why are people attracted to something (or someone) they know is dangerous? Is it because of the thrill of being with a bad boy? Or maybe it was that foolish hope in your heart saying "Maybe he's not so bad after all"? I theorize that deep inside, we're just all masochists which is proven by the saying "It's better to have loved than to have never loved at all" or even better said, "A moment of pain is worth it for a moment of pleasure." But then again, maybe we're just all stupid like that. I think Mr. Sax of the Washington Post says it the best when he wrote, "All that a young girl wants is to be romanced."
I hope you enjoy the short story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please, review if you have the time. I would really appreciate it.
P.S. The last part was pretty awkward to write so I'm worried that it came out as awkward to read. Did it? You guys tell me.
The phone's incessant ringing had woken up Len from his slumber. He looked sideways at the clock. Who could be calling at four in the morning? He picked up his phone and frowned when he saw the name: Miku. Oh yeah, he completely forgot. Well, he hadn't completely forgotten; he just had other…priorities that night.
"Hello?" he muttered groggily.
"Hey, why'd you hang up on me last night?" asked a voice from the other line.
"It was nothing," he assured her, "The line just got cut off."
"Then why didn't you call back? I've been waiting for you to call all night."
"I've been waiting all for you to call too," he replied with his alluring tone. It was a lie, of course. He couldn't have cared less if she called back or not, but it seems that the line did the trick.
"Really?" she seemed happier now, "I'm sorry I took so long to call back, then. Are you free this morning?"
Len glanced at the girl sleeping peacefully next to him. Her pink hair covered her serene features and her hand held his tightly, not wanting to let go.
"Yeah, I'm free," he answered, while twirling a lock of the girl's hair seductively with his finger.
There weren't too many people in the neighborhood that early in the morning so not many would notice if Len returned home at such an unusual hour. He opened the door, careful not to make a sound just in case his sister was still asleep. He came in a little too late; she was already at the kitchen eating breakfast.
"Good Morning, Len," greeted Rin with a smile. She had always been such a morning person.
"Morning," he said as he put his bag down and took a seat.
"So, where were you last night?" asked Rin, giving Len his plate.
"With a friend," he said simply, helping himself to some rice.
"The same friend you were with the day before?" she questioned him without any hint of suspicion, just with her normal sisterly concern. She trusted her brother but she couldn't help but worry about his nightly absences.
"I have a lot of friends, Rin," he answered with a quiet chuckle.
"I've noticed," she said, "Actually, I have – I've been wanting to…um…tell you something, yesterday."
Rin began to struggle with her words as she turned her head away from her twin brother in an attempt to hide her flushed face. Her sudden awkward behavior piqued Len's interest and he let a little bubble of hope fill his heart. But no, he forced himself to look as innocently intrigued as possible. He knew much about disappointment and sure didn't want to be on the receiving end of it. But still, the tiny bubble couldn't help but swell at the thought that maybe, just maybe…
"Well, I'm here now," he said with a convincingly casual tone, "What is it?"
Rin looked terribly excited when she burst out, "Kaito asked me out!"
The bubble of hope inside his heart popped. He knew it was foolish to hope. It only gives you a chance to be disappointed.
"He invited me to see that show, "The Tale of Evil", tonight," informed Rin. She was simply ecstatic.
Len played with his food half-heartedly. "Don't get your hopes too high up," he said, "There's only one thing a guy is interested in."
Rin giggled, "Len, aren't you a guy?"
"No, I'm obviously gay," he answered, his voice riddled with sarcasm and then he turned serious again, "But seriously, be careful. There are guys that'll use you just to get what they want."
Whatever meager hope he had left instantly vanished and was replaced by desperate sadness, when he realized he was warning his sister to stay away from the likes of him.
She squinted at the sun's rays when she opened her clear, blue eyes. What time is it? Luka tightened her hand's grip but she only grasped on to the sheets. Her phone lay on the drawer beside the bed – no new messages and no missed calls. Would he ever call her? Well, he should, especially after a night like that. She stared at her phone for a good ten minutes before losing her patience and dialing Len's number.
"The number you dialed is currently unattended. Please try your call later. The number you dialed is currently unattended…"
She let out a quiet sigh of disappointment. She'll try again later, of course. He's just busy, that's all. That's why he hasn't called back. Of course he'll call back. They have something special. He said she was special.
She fumbled out of the bed and headed for the shower. The water cascaded from the tap, slipping through her fingers. Cool water splashed on to her face awakening her from her morning stupor. The memories of last night were refreshed in her mind. She was scared; it was her first time. But he consoled her with his kind and loving words that seemed so sincere in their intentions. She was hesitant to give up her virginity but it was worth it if it was to someone she loved. She loved Len; she even gave him her prized homemade muffins last night just to prove so. And she was certain that he loved her back. He had convinced her of that last night.
She looked eagerly back at her phone – still no calls or messages.
Miku looked anxiously at her wristwatch: 9:50. Len was supposed to meet her twenty minutes ago. She began tapping her foot impatiently under the coffee table. Did she tell him which coffee shop she would be at? Yes, she did and even if she didn't he would've remembered the only coffee shop they've been going to for the past couple of weeks after school. But then again, they haven't been going out that much. He always had other plans, much like last night. She glanced at her watch again: 10:00. She grabbed her phone from her bag and began texting Len her twelfth message. She stopped midway and decided to call instead.
"Len, where are you?" Miku asked trying her best not to sound too anxious.
Someone was laughing behind her. She did look out of place being the only one sitting alone outside the café, but laughing at her was just going too far. She was angry at whoever it was but not as much as she was at Len.
"I've been waiting for you for half an hour," she said, not being able to hide her frustration any longer.
"Turn around," he said.
Miku did so and gasped when she saw Len standing right behind her. He laughed his charming laugh – one that seemed sincerely amused but was not too boisterous. He grabbed the chair in front of her and took his seat at the table.
"Sorry, I'm late," he said, sounding genuinely sorry for his tardiness, "I got caught up getting you these."
He then produced a box of homemade muffins, wrapped elegantly with a pink ribbon.
"And these aren't those lousy store-bought ones too," she exclaimed, her anger now fading while a tinge of red became visible on her cheeks, "You must have went through lot of trouble to get these."
"A little," said Len with a sly smile while his phone vibrated silently in his pocket.
He still won't answer. That was the umpteenth time Luka tried to call Len. She sat silently all through the bus ride, her head bowed low towards her phone. Maybe she could stop by his house? Wait, he never gave her his address. She was thinking of asking him when they see each other again. She would love to meet his family. Come to think of it, Len never talks about his family that much. He had a twin sister he would sometimes mention but apart from that, she next to nothing when it comes to his family background. Would he even let her meet his family? Of course he would. They were serious about this relationship, so why wouldn't he?
She'll try to call again later. Until then, she contented herself by watching the scenery pass by through the bus window. Then they passed by a coffee shop near the local high school; she saw him. Len was with a young blue-haired girl, drinking coffee, holding hands while eating the muffins she had gave for him earlier that night. She immediately went as far away from the window as possible, her heart beating fast.
"No, it couldn't be him," she thought, "Or maybe she's just a friend."
When the bus was a good distance away, she gazed out of the window once again. She was sitting on his lap, kissing him and he looked like he wasn't going to protest any time soon. Luka watched the two of them as they slowly faded away in the distance with her eyes stinging from more than just the wind.
It was late at night and Len silently opened the door, expecting his sister to be in her room. He checked her room just to make sure and was surprised to find that, for once, he came home earlier than Rin. He sat in the living room couch looking through his phone with cool nonchalance – three messages from Meiko wanting to know when he's available, another message from Miku thanking him for a wonderful date and fifteen missed calls from Luka. He should really call Luka back. Nah, he'll do it tomorrow. Maybe, he'll just send her a message today.
He heard his sister's loud voice from a distance and rushed towards the door. A familiar bitterness revisited him when he saw her, laughing with Kaito.
"Oh hey, Len," greeted Kaito seeing Len at the door, "Here's Rin, safe and sound."
"Ah, yeah," muttered Len unconsciously, "Thanks…"
Kaito bid both of them goodbye as he headed down the street. Rin's face was still red from a combination of the cold, excitement and embarrassment of her brother seeing her with another guy.
"Wow, you're early," she commented as she hung her coat.
"So, how was the show?" mumbled Len in an attempt to make conversation.
"The actors and music were great but the story was rather depressing, if you ask me," said Rin with a lot of energy, "And Kaito was a lot of fun. He would sing the songs and mess up the lyrics. I'm not sure if he did that on purpose though."
"Uh, yeah. Sure."
"You should probably go to sleep Len," advised Rin, "You sound really sleepy."
Len plopped down on the nearest chair and gave a slow nod.
"'Kay then. I'm heading off to bed too," Rin said, heading to her room, "Goodnight."
"Night," he murmured.
He sat in the chair for what seemed like hours, thinking about the strange disappointment he was experiencing. He had feelings for sister, he can't deny that. It had spawned a painful, desperate and sad hope inside of him that he had long tried to extinguish. But tonight was when he was shown the futility of his affections. She would never look at him the same way he looked at her and she would probably grow up to be happy with someone else. If he really loved his sister, he would be happy for her. That's how good brothers should be. But he wanted to be more than just her brother.
Then, without intending to, he stood up from his chair and headed to Rin's room.
It was the last stop and Luka had to get off the bus, even if she didn't want to. She had forgotten were she was going and she had completely lost track of time. She stood at the bus stop for a moment looking lost. There were only a few cars passing through the highway that late an hour. She looked at her phone again – there was one message from Len. Does she dare read it?
thx 4 d muffins. I didn know u wer such a gr8 baker. call u tom, k?
The tears she had been holding back came out that very instant. She had given him everything. He meant everything to her and now she knows that she was nothing to him but a "gr8 baker". Inside her mind, she had always anticipated being hurt, but she took a shot at him anyway. She poured her heart and soul to him, with the knowledge that she'll receive nothing of the like in return. But was she to blame for taking a chance? Is it her fault that she fell for someone like him? Perhaps it was and she hated herself for it. How fickle love is that such an enormous amount can suddenly be turned into burning hate – she hated being used, she hated herself for letting herself be used, but most of all, she hated the person that used her. She tried to stop her tears from flowing; he wasn't worth even a single drop. She searched for a picture of Len of her phone and lightly drew a line on his neck with her finger, trying to imagine herself ripping through that handsome neck. Maybe then, it'll provide her some release from all this sadness.
Rin never locked her room; she believed there was just no reason to do so. Len came in without stirring her. Len felt some elation when he saw the family pictures framed in her room. He couldn't help but be reminded of the simpler times when it was just Rin and her, no questions asked, no malice intended. He then saw a more recently framed photo which was nearest the bedstead. It showed Rin and Kaito outside the theater, taken just this night. And there she was, sleeping peacefully in her bed.
Len grabbed her arms and leaned closer to her. Rin's eyes opened in shock to find Len's face centimeters away from hers. She felt a drop of water falling on her cheek. It was then she realized, Len was crying.
"Len," she said, "Is something wrong?"
He didn't answer but his grip on her arms loosened. Feeling her arms to be free, Rin wrapped her arms around her brother in a tight hug. Now she knew why he was in her room. He needed her.
"They're there, Len," she whispered, "It's okay."
But no, it wasn't. It would never be okay. Even after comforting him, Len still raped his sister in the hopes that he would finally experience the love he had been craving for so long. He didn't. It only got him a more strained relationship with his sister and a lifetime of regret.
He will always love her even if, now, she will never love him back.