A/N: I don't know I managed it, but I accidentally replaced this story with that of another and had to change it back.
Okay, so this is just a one shot thing - I've been trying to write full fanfic's with many chapters, and gave up part way. However, I'm started again - this is something that I wrote start to finish, but I will be writing longer ones in the future.
I love getting reviews - each one gives me the motivation to continue writing.
I hope you enjoy this,
Say you're the mess, say it's a shame, why can't you at least pretend?
Say I should leave, you're over me
Say something, say antyhing. - Say Anything, Kate Voegele
She looked up at him from her book. He seemed engrossed in some tattered pages, his platinum hair flopping carelessly over his piercing eyes, his lips formed into a straight line, concentrating. She hadn't seen him smile in such a long time. She remembered his white teeth showing as his lips parted whilst he laughed – a warm sound that used to send shivers down her spine and force her to smile too, simply because he is happy. Or rather, he used to be. Now he seemed like a mess; no longer caring about his appearance, his attitude to his school work had diminished – now failing most of his classes – he gave effort to nothing, but he could still be found looking in a book once in a while in a hidden corner.
The same could be said for Hermione – she had become all the more quiet, her bushy hair tied back in a messy knot to keep out of her work – her brow creased into a constant frown of focus. The life had gone from her usually well coloured cheeks, her brown eyes dull. Where she had previously been unable to keep quiet, or make some smart remark, Hermione now stayed silent.
He moved; the first movement between them for a good few hours. They had not been so close before in such a long time – though they were at opposite sides of the room. He shut the book carefully, and almost silently; Hermione would not have noticed him get up to leave if she had not been watching him from the corner of her eye. Draco glanced at her for a split second before exiting the library, and on a whim, Hermione followed him.
She followed him down the corridor for a few minutes, taking the twists and turns that he did as he moved stealthily through the dark, shadowed castle grounds. There was a possibility that she could get lost – Hogwarts was an easy place to lose oneself and Hermione had only discovered the majority of the castle, not all of it. He came to a sudden halt, turning into a corner hidden in plain sight; though lit up dimly by the deceitful moon.
She ought to turn away, go back. She didn't want to be here; not with the memories that it held. She wanted to turn around, go back to the comfort of the library, to the safety of her friends. But she couldn't. Hermione was frozen in the spot, frozen to face what had happened. Again.
Draco turned around and gave a soft, guilty smile. "Seem familiar to you, 'Mione?" he asked in a low voice. He avoided eye contact with her, hoping it would lessen the hurt he was obviously causing her. But Hermione would prefer he looked at her as he tore her heart in two. She simply felt like he didn't care enough about her to leave her with her dignity, rather than belittle her.
She didn't answer him. How could she? What would she say? The same as last time.
"I suppose this is it this time, huh?" He said after a few moments of silence, sensing defeat.
"It's just so you, Draco," Hermione said suddenly, the strength in her voice even surprised her. It brought tears to her eyes as she felt what she had been suppressing the whole time. The feeling that she didn't want to admit because it hurt just too much. "Whenever something went wrong, you would just… make do with where we were. It was always me that had to piece things back together, Draco. It was me that had to work out the terms on which we could both live with. Was I just not good enough for you, Draco? Is that it?" Tears of hurt and rage burned into her cheeks as they rolled down her face, leaving silver scars where they trailed. "What can I say to you, Draco? What could I ever say to you to make it matter? Or did it matter at all?"
"Of course, it mattered, Hermione," Draco protested, taking a step towards her as she took one back. He ran his fingers through his hair in annoyance, whether at himself or her, Hermione couldn't tell. "I just… Hermione I don't know what to do, anymore. I don't know where I stand, I don't know what-"
Hermione shook her head to make him stop. "No, Draco. Don't, please, I don't think I can take it. Just…. Just tell me that... that you don't want me anymore; that you never have. Tell me something, anything, to make me leave."
"But I don't…"
"Pretend. Please, Draco," Hermione pleaded.
Could he deny her that? Her wish was for him to pretend that he didn't want her. It was a lie, and it would break her heart. Four simple words; that's all it would take to make her happy. "I can't pretend Hermione, I can't lie to you."
She shook her head in disbelief, "It didn't matter before."
"I don't want you," he murmured, turning his back to her.
She locked eyes on the back of his head, tears pouring down her face as she felt everything. She felt the tare that was her heart breaking clear down the middle. She felt all sense of care be ripped from her – she was bare, and she needed him. "Don't, don't…"
She was begging him; after he had done as she had said, she was begging him not to do this. Couldn't she see that it killed every inch of him to turn from her like this? He remembered her head resting on his chest as she read a book aloud, allowing him to stroke her hair. He remembered the soft squeeze she would give his hand every now and then when the other glared and sneered at them and just to let him know she was there, no matter what. He wanted to save the pages of the book they had created, he wanted to collect them as they scattered around the air and over the soft, newly cut grass before the storm came and wash the words that were their memories away. He missed her, far more than she could ever understand.
"Say something, Draco," Hermione whispered between tears, breaking the seemingly hours of silence that had come between them in the cool evening.
"It's my fault, Hermione," he murmured. What else could he say? "It's all my fault, I'm the one that couldn't face it. I've always ran away when I was scared, or I felt I couldn't be all I could be. I won't lie, I had myself in mind as I carried out my actions… but I regret it, Hermione, I regret it so much."
"I miss you, Draco," she admitted, glancing at her feet, her wide eyes glittering. "I just, I wish you missed me too."
"I miss you Hermione, I miss everything about you. But, is this wise? I've done so many horrible things, 'Mione; I don't know if I deserve you."
She knew. Though he didn't face her, she knew he touched his arm that he had so abruptly pulled away from her touch. He had tried to hide his so called 'destiny' from her, in hopes to protect her, but he never could. He had become aggressive, especially towards her. He wouldn't let her near him, he wouldn't let her help him; though she so desperately wanted to. She wanted to be with him. She didn't know how to make herself matter enough to Draco, as he did to Hermione.
She walked almost silently and carefully towards him, taking deep breaths as she did so. "This may be the last chance we ever get, Draco Malfoy," she muttered as she turned his face to look at her. "Are you going to let me slip through your hands?"
He smiled. His piercing, icy blue eyes bore into hers and she felt them felt in her own. She giggled as his face lit up in a mischievous manner. He tilted her face up towards her, wrapping his arm around her waist carefully. "You're not getting away from me this time," he smiled softly.
Hermione felt safe as their lips met, her body moulded with his as she became lost in him. Draco Malfoy. The only one she wanted. He ran his fingers through her hair as they broke apart, resting his forehead on hers as her eyes closed in happiness.
"I couldn't pretend, Hermione. I missed you too."