okay before you all take out your torches and pitch forks i just wanna say that i waited so long to update because i had lost my inspiration for this story! i don't like to try and write anything unless i have inspiration for it because then it comes out forced and you'd hate me because my chapters would come out horrible *hides behind chair* but! i wrote an EXTRA long one this time! so i hope that makes up for lost time? *peeks head out warily* and i am overloading on the inspiration so i doubt i'll any trouble in writing out my future chapters. dont forget to read the bottom author's note cause i is gonna answer your comments and...yea... so! i have written an Mpreg in the time that i've been waiting for inspiration and if any of you would like to read it then tell me! i would have set up a poll on my profile but those things confuse me so *shrugs*

DISCLAIMER!: i don't own Supernatural, stop rubbing it in my face! *cries*

He had been staring at the grey and grimy wall for what felt like an eternity. He could feel pain pulse throughout his entire body, there wasn't a part of him that didn't hurt or ache. He was tired, so tired. He just wanted to give in to the darkness, let it consume him whole until he was nothing. Until he couldn't remember.

Until he couldn't feel.

It was always there, waiting ever so patiently for him to just give up, to loosen his grip on the world, until he had no choice but to let it consume. But each and every time he walked up to that door, something held him back; tethering him to the world that he so desperately wanted to leave. He couldn't remember what it was that made him hesitate, but it was there. It shone like the unwanted beacon that it was. It held him down, kept him breathing when it would be so much easier to stop.

Sam sighed, just a quick escape of precious breath. He didn't know how long he could stay in pain, how long he could stand the unbelievable torture. He hoped that whatever it was that was keeping him here was worth it all.

Dean was pretty sure that he had broken several laws already as he pushed his foot down, making the Impala speed up and race faster down the dirt road. He and his dad had taken separate cars. He hadn't questioned his father when he saw the foreign truck in the driveway before they left, he just grabbed the keys to the Impala, thrown his and Sammy's bags in the back seat, and taken off.

He looked in the review mirror and saw the headlights to his father's truck shine back brightly. Dean shook his head and willed the already blindingly fast car to go faster, the miles between him and his brother were hopefully getting shorter and shorter and if they weren't, if Sam wasn't at the warehouse, Dean didn't know what he would do.

Dean shook his head and stared out at the fast passing road. He had already memorized the address of the warehouse they were headed, and with one look at the clock he saw it would take twenty minutes to get there. He was making it in ten.

"Sir," the woman opened the door and peeked in warily. When she got a nod from the man kneeling on the floor she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"What is it?" he asked, standing up to face her while wiping his hands on the rag that he pulled out of his pocket.

"The Winchester's are coming. They found out where we are and they plan to take Sam back." There was no sign of distress, no panic no nothing that crossed over this man's face other than intrigue.

"Well then we don't want to be rude now do we? We must welcome them properly." A cold, sinister smile spread over his face, and his eyes flashed black as he turned back to the cowering child that was whimpering pathetically in the corner. Her eyes were wide in terror as the man focused his attention back on her.

The woman nodded her head although she knew that the man was no longer watching, and she closed the doors to the child's cries of pain.

The second that Dean saw the warehouse come into view his heart sped up several paces and a sweat broke out over his palms, Dean slipped on his cool and calm mask as he skid the car to a stop. He would cuss himself out for that later, right now all that was on his mind was finding his brother, that's all that's been on his mind ever since that day six months ago. He grabbed his gun, took three precious seconds to check that he had all his weapons strapped and ready, and threw open the door.

His dad was already throwing his car door open and jumping out. They had already run through their plan back at the house, and their eyes met in silent confirmation that it was not forgotten. His dad took off to the back and Dean made his way to the side entrance. He hadn't liked the idea of them splitting up but his dad had pointed out that they would find Sam much easier that way, and that was all Dean had to hear.

Dean gripped the canister of holy water that was in his pocket, squeezing it before he started to pick the lock open. He wasn't supposed to make his presence known if he could avoid it; that was of course if they didn't already know they were here.

Cold air blew in his face as he walked into the darkness and he quietly shut the door. He ran down the hall senses alert, feet barley making a sound. He could hear a commotion already starting east of him; his dad had started the distraction, which meant he had to get moving. Fast.

He started kicking in door after door, finding nothing but empty rooms, the walls and floors splattered with blood. His gut twisted in sickening knots as he kicked down the doors with renewed vigor. He came to a point where the doors had to be picked open, and he was sure he was setting records for 'lock opened in less than ten seconds'.

He was blowing through a countless number of doors and halls, one after the other he searched for his brother. He kept coming up empty and he was starting to lose hope as he moved on to another hall. When he reached a door in the middle of the hall, he saw the extra protection that was put on it. Locks and chains and he was sure that a guard would have been here if it weren't for his father's distraction. He shot off the last lock in his impatience, and with a grunt he pushed the door open.

He was scared out of his half sleep state when he heard the yelling start. He could here thumps, screams varying from enraged to pain filled. He was shaking, his arms already screaming for the weight they were carrying to be eased. He could feel himself starting to swea,t the grime that covered him smearing as his sweat ran down his face and body. Then he heard feet running up to his door, heard the locks being clicked open, heard the chains being removed, then he heard a gunshot so close that even through the door it was deafening.

He was trembling in fear, his exhausted body screaming its protest at his movements. He shut his eyes and curled in on himself as much as he could from his position, and then the door blew open. For a few seconds he kept his eyes shut, but then he slowly started to open them and he could have cried.

He was back he was going to go for round three. Sam couldn't believe it he had never done this before. Sam didn't know what to expect other than it was going to hurt all over again. He wasn't sure his body could handle a round thre….. maybe he would die this time. Maybe it could all end, but then he felt that tug that kept him here and a sudden urge to live swept through him with a force.

"No..." he whispered in despair.

"Sammy!" he yelled, threw down the chain in his hand, and ran towards him. When a hand reached up to his face Sam cringed, he could feel tears stream down his face and he just wanted to sleep again.

"Please, not again, please." This sudden urge for life, to not feel the pain, it was what he remembered having felt the first weeks he had been here. They had stopped after some time, the urges, the hope. Sam didn't think that it was possible for him to feel that again. He hated to plead, knew it only gave him pleasure, but he had too this time.

"What are you talking about Sammy? It's me, Dean!" The hand that had paused started again for his face, and Sam tried to force his weak body to move to get away.

"Don't hurt me again, please, don't, not- not again." He kept mumbling over and over, his lips disconnected from his brain.

"What are you talking about? God Sammy what did they do to you?" Why did he keep playing this game? They both knew that it wasn't really Dean, knew that he was going to rape him again, but still he pretended. Sam refused to look at his face even though he knew that he would punish him for it, he couldn't look into the twisted perversion of his brother's beautiful face, and he couldn't bare it. Never the less, when he felt the world tilt and his vision blur his eyes sought out the one before him and he could barely register the look of actual concern written over it, before the last 'please' escaped in a breathy whisper, and the darkness came to consume him.

He wasn't expecting to find his brother happy and healthy, but to find him like this was something Dean wished they both didn't have to go through. His brother was chained to the ceiling by his wrists, his trembling body hanging limp and curled in an awkward position. He was nearly black with smeared sweaty dirt, his clothes were so thin and worn, so torn and colorless behind all the grime, that Dean was surprised it held together enough to cover Sam.

He took it all in, in less than a minute, but it felt like an eternity that he was staring at the pitiful form that was his brother. Images of a grinning and laughing Sam flooded his brain, and were replaced by the dirty and cowering figure before him. Dean saw red, he wanted to kill who ever took his brother, wanted to seriously torture them beyond sanity, because Dean's own sanity was on a thread.

When his brother lifted his head up enough to see him, when his eyes slowly opened, he saw them widen in fear. He could see his brother tremble even more, could see tears flood his wide terrorized eyes. It wasn't even registering in his brain that his brother seemed so panicked. But when he had run towards him, when he lifted his hand to caress his brother cheek, to tell him that he had found him, that he was safe now, his brother cringed, the tears ran freely down his face and he had fucking cringed. And then it hit him. Sam was afraid of him.

Nothing in his entire life could have ever prepared him to be on the other side of the looking glass. Sam kept on muttering, pleading for him not to hurt him. And Dean could feel the rug pull out from under him. His whole world tilted to the left and his mind was still trying to process the fact that his brother was so terrified of him, his own brother. Sam wouldn't even look at him, the frightened yet somewhat blank eyes were glazed over with tears and fear, and he wouldn't look up from the floor. He kept on pleading for Dean not to hurt him, he was sorry, please don't hurt him.

"What are you talking about? God Sammy what did they do to you?" horror and pain, confusion and barely bottled rage seeped out of his words, and Sam looked up towards him and then his eyes rolled in the back of his head and he slumped even more towards the ground.

What the fuck was going on? Dean was filled with so many conflicting emotions all at once that he was surprised he hadn't exploded.

Confusion, pain, anger, relief, more of that confusion that Dean hated. What the hell had they done to Sammy, god it was all his fault. If he hadn't of gone out and gotten drunk he would have been more prepared to protect his baby brother. Dean put his baby brother through all this he was responsible for what lay limply before him.

A thump and a loud yell broke through his guilt trip and Dean quickly remembered where they were. He shook his head and gathered himself. He had Sam, he was safe. That, right now, was all that mattered. He easily broke through the rusted out chains and when his brother fell towards the floor Dean caught him in his arms. Sam felt so brittle, Dean was afraid that he'd break him if he held him the wrong way. Anger welled up in him but he pushed it down into the cage where all his other emotions lay, and he ran out of the room, his brother cradled safely in his arms.

When he came to dividing halls he saw his father struggling with a woman on his right. His father caught sight of him and he jerked his head in the direction of the exit. Dean didn't need to be told twice, he was worried about his father but Sam's safety was of utmost importance, and Dean readjusted his grip on his brother and ran towards the exit. All the care he had taken to not being noticed was thrown away, he just ran, ran out of the building and to the Impala that waited just on the edge of the gravel road.

He threw the back door open and pushed the bags that were on the seat, to the floor. Carefully he laid Sam down on the seat and then he gently shut the door. When he was in the front he took one last look to the warehouse before he turned the key and heard the car rumble to life. The side entrance door flew open and Dean saw several people run out and towards him and Sam. He threw the car into drive and reeled out of there.

He kept the speed on the car until he was several miles away, and even then he only slowed down enough so that he wouldn't be pulled over by the cops.

If Dean thought that the drive over there had been long, that was nothing compared to how long it took to get back. Even though he had Sam laid out safely in the back seat Dean could still feel dread, like they weren't at all out of the woods yet. One to always trust his instincts, Dean made sure he stuck to the back roads and he stepped up on the gas, flying them down the road at a blinding speed. If anyone was to see them, the car would merely be a black blur in their vision for less than a few seconds.

He couldn't help looking in the rearview mirror at his brother ever few seconds. He refused to let himself think of anything other than getting back to the house. He couldn't afford to let himself get distracted. He kept his senses up and when the house came into view he slowed the car to a gentle stop. He had planned on getting a motel some miles away, but he just wanted to get Sam out as quickly as possible, He wanted to check over the wounds that he had seen on his baby brother and that would take too long considering the warehouse was near in the middle of nowhere.

He got out and opened the back door grabbing both his and Sam's bags, slinging them over his shoulder before he turned to grab his brother. He gently picked up Sam, who felt so weightless that it scared the shit out of Dean. When he had them safely inside the house he quickly moved to set his brother down on the old beaten up couch that lay in the middle of the room. He ran around the perimeter checking all the salt lines and adding fresh ones.

When he had that done he picked up his brother again and carried him up the stairs. When he pushed open the door to their bedroom he quickly shut the door and laid him down in the bed farthest from the door. He took a quick look at Sam and set to work surrounding them with salt. The door, the window (which he covered with a sheet), the closet, and finally he set a circle of salt around both their beds.

When he was done he made his way back over to Sam, who was still out cold. Dean couldn't stop staring at him, it had taken him six long months to get his brother back, but it felt like years since he had seen him. The trip to get him couldn't have taken more than three hours at most, but it felt like it all took months. Dean felt exhausted and drained, but the sight of his brother alive and breathing, filled him with a new kind of energy. And Dean didn't hesitate in laying himself out next to his brother. He laid himself as a barrier between Sam and the door. He wanted to go get the supplies so that he could clean up his dirty baby brother, he wanted to check him over and change him into better clothes, but Dean knew that he wouldn't let his brother out of his sight, not even for the few minutes it would take to gather everything up.

He wasn't going to let anything else happen to his brother. He wasn't going to lose him again. Whatever tried to take his brother again, Dean was going to make sure he killed it before it even got so much as a glance at his baby brother.

And Dean let himself fall into a thin sleep, gun clenched in his hand, and his body wrapped like the protective wall that he was, between Sam and the rest of the world.

magical-archer: i hope that i detailed how they 'play' with Sam enough. To be honest i didn't even want to think about what they did to him, so i know that my details must have been somewhat vague but i couldn't make myself go further so...

SpnBloosdStar- i luv both of them like a bbuuuuuuuuuuuuunch! *holds hands apart wide* and i hate myself for doing such bad things to Sammy *deflates* but i am going to make it up to Sammy, Dean, and all of you! *takes cookie bribe* i know that it took me forever but here it is! thank you for the awshum cookie =3 *hugz*xx

NonTimeboMala08- i agree whole heartedly, and as you can see they found Sammy! =D i hope this chapter doesn't suck cause im really tired (i had a long and late day yesterday) and i have school to worry about tomorrow (tests *shudders*) but- *shrugs* i kinda had a LOT of fun writing this chapter cause they found Sammy and writing about it all kind of made me proud of myself =3

sai518- was his reaction good? yes no? i wrote this in like three hours ( i had sudden inspiration) and i was just so eager to update that i posted it straight ater re-reading, you opinion?

alice- im sorry about the late update!

ALL READERS: i am soooo SORRY for the late update! i plan on getting my updating schedule back in track and i hope that the delay only made you want to read my fic more =3