Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight characters Stephanie Meyer does and I don't own Hercules either Disney does… I just combine the two in one story. I hope that you guys like it! I'm not going to put the whole movie here, I'm going to be deleting some parts and I also I'm going to play with different POV's so enjoy!
So you guys won't get lost I'm going to write the names of the characters from each story so you guys won't get lost =D
The Muses: Rose, Alice and Leah Zeus & Hera: Carlisle & Esme Hercules: Edward Megara: Bella Pegasus: Jasper Phil: Emmett Hades: Aro Pain & Panic: James & Laurent
The Fates: Tanya, Victoria & Jane Amphitryon & Alcmene: Charlie & Renée
Btw I'm the narrator in the story!
"Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules. But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is-"I said
"Will you listen to her? She's makin' the story sound like some Greek tragedy." Said Leah
"Lighten up, girl." Said Alice
"We'll take it from here, darling." Said Rose
"You go, girls" I said
"We are the Muses. Goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of the heroes" said Rose
"Heroes like Edward!" said Alice
"Honey, you mean "Edward-ules". Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with him" said Leah
As the Muses start humming
"Our story actually begins long before Edward, many eons ago..."said Rose
As the Muses start walking and singing…
Back when the world was new,
the planet Earth was down on its luck.
And everywhere gigantic brutes
called Titans ran amok!
It was a nasty place!
There was a mess wherever you stepped.
Where chaos reigned and earthquakes
and volcanoes never slept!
And then along came Carlisle-
He hurled his thunderbolt-
Locked those suckers in a vault!
And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks.
And that's the gospel truth!
The guy was too type A to just relax.
And that's the world's first dish.
Carlisle tamed the globe while still in his youth.
Though, honey, it may seem impossible-
That's the gospel truth!
On mount Olympus life was neat
and smooth as sweet vermouth.
Though, honey, it may seem impossible-
That's the gospel truth!
"Edward! Behave yourself!" said my wife Esme
"Oh, look at this, look how cute he is..." I said while babbles at Edward and he catches my index finger and lifts me above his cradle "Hah! Oh, he's strong! Like his Dad, hmm?"
"Whoa! Excuse me! Hot stuff coming through! Excuse me one side, Ares" said Seth while moving through a crowd of gods and giving Esme a bundle of glowing flowers
"Why, Seth, they're lovely" said Esme
"Yeah, you know, I had Orpheus do the arrangement. Isn't that too nutty?" said Seth while flying closer to me "Fabulous party, you know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Paul discovered himself!"
We look at Paul and he was staring into his mirror and making kissing sounds. While baby Edward gets one of my lightning's and starts playing with it
"Dear, keep those away from the baby" said Esme
"Oh, he won't hurt himself. Let the kid have a little fun!" I said
I spoke to soon Baby Edward tries to eat the lightning, gets zapped, and throws it away in frustration. Three gods jump away from its path, until Athena hits it with her sword so it hits a pillar, which immediately reappears
"Oh, on behalf of my son, I want to thank you all for your wonderful gifts" I said
"What about our gift, dear?" said Esme
"Well, let's see here... we'll take, hmm, yes, a little cirrus, and, hmm, a touch of nimbostratus, and a dash of cumulus" I said while moving my hands and form a little Pegasus-shaped cloud on it and then I put it closer to Edward and the clouds turns to be a baby Pegasus "His name is Jasper, and he's all yours, son"
I see how Edward bonks his forehead against Jasper he whinnies and licks Edward; they hug, while all the gods sigh
"Mind his head" said Esme while giving me Edward
"He's so tiny" I said while I see Edward trying to bite the medallion that is hanging around his necks and starts yawning "My boy. My little Edward"
"How sentimental!" said Aro "You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat! Huh? So is this an audience or a mosaic? Hey, how you doing'? Looking' good. Nice dress"
He started moving from one god to another until he reaches me and squeezes me in a hug
"So Aro, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld?" I said
"Well, they're just fine, you know, a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do? Ah! There's the little sunspot, little smootchie. And here is a sucker for the little sucker, eh?" said Aro while he weaves a sucker with skeleton head out of thin mist "Here you go. Ya just-"
Edward squeezes Aro's finger, and after some fight he gets away from Edward
"Sheesh! Uh, powerful little tyke" said Aro
"Come on, Aro, don't be such a stiff, join the celebration!" I said
"Hey, love to, babe, but unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regrettably have a full-time gig You know, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Carlisle, So… can't. Love to, but can't" said Aro
"You ought to slow down, you'll work yourself to death... Hah! Work yourself to death!" I said while laughing as everybody join in "Oh, I kill myself"
"If only, if only…" mumbles Aro
The muses appear again
"If there's one god who don't want to get steamed up, it's Hades" said Rose
"Cause he had an evil plan" said Alice
Leah started singing…
He ran the Underworld,
but thought the dead were dull and uncouth.
He was as mean as ruthless-
And that's the gospel truth.
He had a plan to shake things up-
And that's the gospel truth!
"James" I said
"Coming, your most lugubriousness" said James as he trips, roll on the stair and gets seated on a sharp trident
"Laurent" I said
"Oh, I'm sorry, I can handle it!" said Laurent as he runs, but trips over James, who just got free from the trident, falls over, and his horns get stuck in James the same place trident just was
"James!" said James
"And Laurent!" said Laurent
"Reporting for duty!" said James and Laurent at the same time
"Fine, fine, fine, just let me know the instant the Fates arrive" I said
"Oh! They're here!" said Laurent
"What? The Fates are here and you didn't tell me?" I said bursting into flames
"We are worms! Worthless worms!" said James and Laurent at the same time while they shape shifting into worms
"Memo to me, memo to me, main you after my meeting" I said while walking to my cavern when I saw the Fates "Ladies! Hah! I am so sorry that I'm-"
"Late" said Jane
"We knew you would be" said Victoria
"We know everything" said Tanya
They started passing their only eye from one another as they speak
"Past" said Victoria
"Present" said Tanya
"And future" said Victoria while looking at Laurent "Indoor plumbing - it's gonna be big"
"Great. Great. Anyway, see, Ladies, I was at this party, and I lost track of-" I said
"We know!" said Victoria, Tanya and Jane at the same time
"Yeah. I know… you know. So, here's the deal. Carlisle, Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey, you, get off my cloud," now he has-"
"A bouncing baby brat" said Victoria, Tanya and Jane at the same time
"We know!" said Victoria
"I know… you know. I know. I got it. I got the concept, so let me just ask: Is this kid gonna mess up my hostile takeover big, or what? What do you think?" I said
"Um-" said Tanya
"Oh no, you don't. We are not supposed to reveal the future" said Victoria
"Oh wait, I'm sorry. Time out. Can I? Can I ask you a question, by the way? Are you," I said looking at Tanya while she giggles "Did you cut your hair of something? You look fabulous. I mean, you look like a fate worse than death"
Tanya giggles a little more, and Victoria hits her on the head, and the eye fells out into the hands of Laurent
"Oh, gross!" said Laurent
"Yech! It's blinking!" said James, he kicks it into my hands
"Ladies, please, my fate..." I said while putting the eye on Tanya's hand "Is in your lovely hands"
"Oh, yeah" said Tanya
"All right" said Victoria while the eye raises in the air, showing pictures of the future
"In 18 years precisely the planets will align ever so nicely" said Jane
"Ay, verse!. Oy" I said
"The time to act will be at hand Unleash the Titans, your monstrous band" said Jane
"Mm-hmm, good, good" I said
"Then the once-proud Carlisle will finally fall, and you, Aro will rule all!" said Jane
"Yes! Hades rules!" I said
"A word of caution to this tale" said Jane
"Excuse me?" I said
"Should Edward fight, you will fail" said Jane while they disappear, cackling
"What? Okay, fine, fine, I'm cool, I'm fine" I said while walking to another room "James? Laurent? Got a little riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?"
"I do not... know!" said James
"You can't. They're immortal?" said Laurent
"Bingo! They're immortal" I said while taking a bottle with red liquid one "So, first you got to turn the little sunspot mortal"
Back Mount Olympus is dusk and Baby Edward and Jasper are sleeping together. While shadows of James and Laurent crawl over Baby Edward and the sound of glass breaking and James and Laurent tittering makes Carlisle and Esme to wake up…
"Huh?" said Carlisle
"What? What is it?" said Esme
They looking at each other
"The Baby!" said Carlisle and Esme at the same time
They run to the cradle but they find only Jasper
"Edward! Oh!" said Esme as she starts sobbing
"No!" said Carlisle as he screams and lightning's flash and giant thunderstorm rages over Olympus.
While James and Laurent are flying down, carrying Baby Edward
"Now we did it! Carlisle is gonna use us for target practice!" said Laurent
"Just hang onto the kid, Laurent" said James as they fall and Baby Edward starts crying
"Hurry! Let's just kill the kid and get it over with, okay?" said Laurent
"Here you go, kid, a little Grecian formula" said James as he opens the bottle
"Look at that! He's… changing" said Laurent as Edward stops glowing as he drinks the potion "Can we do it now?"
"No, no, no, he has to drink the whole potion! Every last drop" said James
"Who's there?" said Charlie
James and Laurent run away, dropping the empty bottle, it breaks and one last drop falls into the ground
"Renée, over here" said Charlie
"Oh, you poor thing! Oh, don't cry" said Renée
"Is anybody there?" said Charlie
"Now?" said Laurent as he and James looks from the bushes
"Now!" said James as they walk and transform into snakes
"Oh well, he must have been abandoned. For so many years we've prayed to the gods to bless us with a child" said Renée while she reads Edward's name from a medallion on his neck "Perhaps they've answered our prayers"
"Perhaps they have... Edward?" said Charlie
As James and Laurent as snakes attack, but Baby Edward catches them, and giggling happily, hits them several times against the ground, ties into a knot and throws far away. While Charlie and Renée stare with their jaws dropped
"Help, help, help!" said James and Laurent as they turn to their normal forms
"Aro is gonna kill us when he finds out what happened" said Laurent
"You mean, 'if' he finds out!" said James
"Of course he's gonna f-- If… if is good" said Laurent
As Mount Olympus is in dark clouds as the Muses reappear
"It was tragic. Carlisle led all the gods on a frantic search" said Rose
"But by the time they found the baby, it was too late" said Alice
As Leah starts singing
Young Ed was mortal now,
but since he did not drink the last drop
He still retained his godlike strength-
So thank his lucky star!
But Carlisle and Esme wept
because their son could never come home.
They'd have to watch their precious baby
Grow up from afar.
Though Aro' horrid
was hatched before Ed cut his first tooth,
the boy grew stronger everyday
and that's the gospel truth!
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