I wrote this like 3 years ago when I first discovered the awesomeness that is Coupling but didn't have anywhere to post it. Well here it is. I took some dialogue from the last episode but elaborated on it but all rights for Coupling and the genius behind it goes to Mr. Stephen Moffat.
"Aha!" Sally exclaimed as she found a shoebox at the bottom of the cupboard.
Patrick's heart dropped. "Sally, I don't want you to look inside that box."
"I know that Patrick. I knew it the moment I saw the box," Sally replied, carrying the box towards Patrick. "And you want to know how?" Sally flipped the top of the box towards Patrick to reveal a piece of paper taped on stating, "Sally. Don't look in this box."
"Sally, put that box down. And move away," Patrick pleaded. Sweat beads were starting to form on his head. Patrick couldn't recall the last time he had felt so nervous.
"Noooo," Sally resisted as she opened the box. Although she appeared calm on the outside, Sally was an emotional wreck inside. Part of her dreaded opening the box knowing that whatever it was, it was going to ruin her relationship with Patrick. However another part of her just wanted to get it over and done with. She knew that her relationship with Patrick was too good to be true and was mentally kicking herself for believing that it could actually be the real thing. This was Patrick Maitland, the carefree womanizer. She couldn't possibly change that.
With her hands slightly shaking and heart beating rapidly, Sally looked inside the box and saw a ring box. She gasped loudly as she opened it and saw a perfect engagement ring, one that she had always dreamt of getting. Doesn't look like it will be happening anytime soon though, she thought bitterly.
"This is an engagement ring," she stated holding the box up to Patrick.
"Yes it is," Patrick replied dejectedly. So much for all his planning. Why did she have to be so bloody nosy?
"An engagement ring!" Sally repeated. She felt her whole world breaking down. Not only was Patrick involved with someone else, but he was planning to propose to that woman! Sally was going to watch Patrick get married to someone else and that thought made her want to throw up.
Patrick nodded to her statement. He couldn't understand her reaction. She seemed hurt. But that reaction made no sense, not that Sally was an easy woman to understand in the first place.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Sally asked, dreading the answer.
"Yes, Sally." Patrick replied cautiously. What was she getting at, he wondered.
Sally felt tears welling up in her eyes. So Patrick had a girlfriend. This beautiful ring that she was looking at was going to be on the hand of someone else. It figures, Sally thought sadly.
"You." Patrick finished, noticing the tears in Sally's eyes. Were those tears of joy or sorrow? He was nervous before about the actual proposal but never about her response. Patrick was fairly certain that Sally would accept his proposal but now seeing her reaction, he was beginning to have some doubts.
"Me?" Sally exclaimed surprised. But that didn't make any sense…
"Yes, you," Patrick replied. He was getting more nervous every second. This was totally not the reaction he was expecting.
"Who are you proposing to then?" Sally asked angrily. He considered her his girlfriend but bought an engagement ring for someone else? That didn't make any sense. Unless…. Sally couldn't dare herself to hope.
"Who do you think?" Patrick asked surprised. Did Sally really think he was proposing to someone else? What was wrong with her?
"I-, I-" Sally stuttered, too shocked to form a coherent thought. Realization was slowly seeking in that this engagement ring was actually for her! For her, Sally Harper!
"I was waiting-- I was waiting – as it happens," Patrick sighed, " for the right romantic moment."
Sally couldn't help but look around the living room and see the mess that she had made. After all the thousand proposal scenarios she had thought up over the years, she never anticipated this. Leave it up to her to ruin a perfectly good wedding proposal.
"Fuck," Sally blurted out as she stared at the ring and then her surroundings.
"Fuck," she repeated as she looked at the expression on Patrick's face.
"Fuckity-fuck," she gasped as she realized the enormity of the situation.
Patrick looked at her confused. "Was that a yes?"
Sally tried to remain calm on the exterior but secretly inside she was bursting with excitement. "Patrick," she started slowly. "Just to make sure, it's me you're proposing to right?"
Patrick couldn't help but laugh. How could such a beautiful and intelligent woman be so bloody insecure? "Good God Sally! Of course I'm proposing to you. Who else could it be?"
Sally shrugged. It was second nature to her to assume the worst.
Patrick sighed and walked towards Sally. He took her hands into his, giving a light kiss to the one holding the engagement ring. He looked into her shiny hazel eyes, which was glistening with tears of joy (he hoped).
"Sally Harper," Patrick began as he took the engagement ring out of the box and went down on his knees. "You are the most wonderful woman in the history of the entire universe. You're incredible. You have the looks of a Miss World and the brains to match. Wait… have I said this before?"
Sally couldn't help but laugh recalling the first time he said those words to her. The first time she heard them, she was dreading what came next. However in this circumstance, she was eagerly looking forward to it.
Patrick smiled at her reaction. "Ahh…. yes I remember now. I also remembered that I said you deserved someone good enough for you. That you deserved Mr. Amazing, Incredibly-Superbly Fantasticness. After everything I put you through, I probably don't fit that description. However I promised that I would love you forever, properly. That hasn't changed Sally. I will do that every single day, if you would let me. Sally Harper, would you do me the very great honor of becoming my wife?"
Sally was way past the point of crying now as she nodded vigorously and then found her voice to choke out a yes. Patrick grinned widely as he slipped the ring on Sally's ring finger.
Sally gestured for Patrick to rise. "I told you that I didn't want Mr. Amazing, Superbly Fantasticness. I just want you… my Spiderman," she giggled as she pulled Patrick into a long sweet kiss.
After coming up for air, Patrick pulled Sally into a tight embrace. "I was so bloody worried that you were going to say no. Why would you think I was proposing to someone else?"
Sally sighed. "I don't know. I just always assume the worst. When I saw the ring, I couldn't believe that it was me you actually wanted to marry. Me, Sally Harper, finally getting Patrick Maitland to commit? Who would think that was possible?"
"Everyone but you," Patrick laughed still amazed at Sally's insecurities. "I'm bloody mad about you Sally. And I'm sick of being single. I want to settle down. And the person I want to settle down with is you."
"Oh, Patrick!" Sally exclaimed happily as she pulled him in for another passionate kiss. Unfortunately before Patrick could progress things to the next level, Sally quickly pulled away from him. "We have to go to the hospital!"
Still dazed from the kiss, Patrick confusedly asked, " Why?"
"Susan's having a baby remember? I'm supposed to be there- "Sally struggled to finish her sentence as Patrick trailed his lips to her neck.
"Susan's going to be in labor for a while. Why don't we celebrate our engagement for a little bit?"
"But-" Sally protested until she felt Patrick nibbling in her ear. "Perhaps you're right," she replied pulling Patrick into the bedroom.
Steve looked up from where he was sitting, outside of Susan's room, to see Patrick and Sally rushing down the hallway towards him.
"How's Susan?" Sally asked out of breath once they reached Steve.
"She's all right," Steve said. "The doctors are preparing her for surgery. The baby is too big, they're going to do a C-section."
"Don't look so worry mate," Patrick said, patting Steve on the shoulder. "Susan and the baby will be fine."
"Thanks guys," Steve said. Steve then noticed that Patrick's arm was around Sally's waist and the two looked quite cozy. "Are you two all right? We left you in pretty bad shape back there."
"I think we're doing pretty well," Patrick said smiling. "What do you think Sally?"
"I think we're doing great," Sally exclaimed as she took her hand out of Patrick's grasp to show Steve her sparkling engagement ring.
"Wow!" Steve exclaimed. "The famous Patrick Maitland is now officially off the market. Are girls weeping in the streets?"
"He was off the market months ago," Sally said defensively. "Now it's just official."
"Susan will be thrilled to hear the news," Steve said with a smile. "Once this business of getting the baby out is over and done with…"
"Are you going to be in there with her during the surgery?" Patrick inquired.
"Yeah, of course."
Steve turned around and saw Susan's doctor. "Yes, Dr. Jones? How is Susan doing? Is she okay?" Steve asked anxiously.
"Yes, she and the baby are fine. We're ready to do the C-section. Susan has been asking for you."
"Good luck Steve!" Sally shouted as Steve hurriedly rushed to the delivery room.
"I can't believe Susan is actually having a baby," Sally said as she and Patrick sat side by side in the waiting room.
"Babies are such tiny little things. I would be worried about dropping one." Patrick replied.
"I'm sure you'll be fine when the time comes," Sally said smiling and took Patrick's hand.
"Perhaps sooner than later," Patrick said wickedly, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Patrick! Do you really think we're ready to have a baby?"
"Well… maybe not right at this moment. We'll have to be married first of course. "
"And I have to be ready to gain all that weight as well as an expanding waist and bottom!" Sally said shuddering.
"You would be an incredibly sexy pregnant woman," Patrick said huskily.
"What? Sexy?" Sally looked at Patrick as if he was insane.
"Are you forgetting the fact that I find pregnant women incredibly attractive?" Patrick asked.
"You're probably the only man who does!"
"Well then it's lucky that you're stuck with me then," Patrick said as he took Sally into his arms.
"Lucky indeed," Sally replied happily as she settled herself into his arms.