Neon Genesis Evangelion: Nobody Dies: Ichi's Birthday Party

Episode 05 – Epilogue



Um... well, Rei and Iti and Nana and Zyuu and Siyon and Hatchi and Kiko, who are sort of my sisters, said that I should do a boast, and it was traditional or something,

And I'm not sure that I really want to,

I mean, I don't really understand the point.

But it sounded like fun, and Mommy didn't say I shouldn't, so I will.

And they said that they asked her, and she said it was okay, so it's all okay, right?

Anyway, um, I exist because something happened with Mommy and the Me-Before-I-Was-Me, who is something to do with what my sisters... or maybe half-sisters, call Big Mommy.

I don't really understand that bit.

And some days I want to go and play outside in the Base Earth, but Mommy says I can't,

And so I get to play in my own special world. Mommy built most of it herself, but some bits were made as presents by my sisters.

I tried making some stuff myself, but I'm not as clever as any of them.

Anyway, I like cake, hugs, music, and spending time with my family.

Cake is tasty and fills up my tummy much better than the normal food I get.

Hugs are warm and soft and lovely.

Music is fun, and sounds nice.

And my family are all really nice people, and I have fun when I'm around them.

I wish I could do all of them more.

And I would like to see Shinji again, because he was nice to me when I was younger, but I haven't seen him in ages.

Mommy doesn't let me use the internet to talk to him anymore,

I'm not allowed to get too angry or upset, because that damages things,

And that makes me sad, because it makes Mommy sad.

Sometimes she cries when she looks at me, when she thinks I'm not active.

I don't like it when she does that. It makes me sad, too.

I don't want her to cry.

I exist because Mommy says that at some point in the future nasty things will come and try to hurt everyone.

And I'm a good girl, so I want to protect Mommy, and my sisters, and Shinji.

They didn't say how long this thing was meant to be.

I can't really think of anything else to say.

Oh, yes. I forgot to say my name. They said that bit was important.

Technically, I am Evangelion Unit 01.

But you can call me Ichi.

Pleased to meet you.

Yui looked at the print-out of the childish essay, done in virtual space in crayon. Oh, and there were multiple stick figures by the side of the writing; one big and purple and green, and one with brown hair. Both were labelled "Ichi", and standing next to a taller, brown-haired figure labelled "Mommy". The picture was finished up by seven blue-haired figures with smiles which nearly touched their red eyes, and one who had a sad face. She frowned.

"Rei, do you have any idea what this is?" she asked her daughter.

The blue-haired girl shrugged. "Nope," she said.

"Are you sure?"

"Nope." Rei paused. "Or do I mean 'Yep'?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that, nope, I don't know what it is?" The tone was questioning, as if she were hoping that this was the right thing to say.

Yui stared at her, with suspicion. "It says that you gave her the inspiration. Right at the top," she pointed out to her daughter.

"Well, yeee~eeeah, but she had had a lot of sugar and stuff at the time. I mean," Rei added, "I've still sorta got a bit of a sugar headache from a lot less than her."

"Yes, but she's bigger than you, and better able to absorb it."

"I just think it's sorta possible that she mighta maybe have been a bit hyper, and maybe misunderstood a joke or something," Rei continued. "But I do think Ichi has ree~eallly pretty handwriting."

Yui smiled. "Yes, she does, doesn't she? I think this gets to go up on The Wall." The wall behind her desk in her office, was (barring the white-boards propped against it, and currently displaying a Bayesian statistical analysis of the hypothetical strength of an Angelic AT-Field, compared to known values for Nephilim and Evangelion-generated ones) absolutely covered in various art-works, finger paintings, drawings, and the occasional technical schematic for vastly overbudget lunar-mounted photon-based weapons. One of the latter currently sat on her desk, in the IN box, to be brushed aside as Yui went rummaging for pins.

Rei skipped out of the office. Once out, she let a broad grin creep over her face.

"Rei, are you smirking as soon as you're out of visual range?" Yui called after her.

The smile vanished, a hint of a frown emerging. "'Course not," the girl called back.

"Because we're still going to have to have a proper talk about this, young lady!"


The lips curled back up after less than five paces.