Never Forget MJ

By: George Gruenhagen

"Come on, Roadkill, get out of that potato chip bag, " Matt Johnson (MJ) said.

"Well, if I didn't eat the chips there would be nothing stopping you from eating them," I explained.

"I wonder if you understand what I'm saying. I wonder if you can talk, but I just don't understand what you're saying. Aw, who am I kidding, you're just a moose," he said.

"Yes, my language is far too intelligent for you to grasp," I said proudly. I took mighty strides to proclaim my dominance. Though in my head, I still knew that at some time I would have to face the facts and tell MJ about my dad.

"Roadkill, come on, let's go to 'The Pub'," MJ told me. "The Pub" is a place to hang out for people who get called "weird" or "strange" by other people. We jumped into the dark green truck and I went into the back so I could feel the wind on my antlers.

Now we finally made it to "The Pub" and I knew I would have to tell MJ about my dad here. We got a table for two in a booth with a stolen Ronald McDonald figurine. We placed our orders. I got "Spaghetti Strings", I think you know why and MJ just got pizza. We finally got our food after lousy service, but everyone's a critic.

So, then I took my spaghetti and spelled "MY DAD ANICH IS EVIL". MJ looked shocked about both my dad and that I can write. He obviously got the message, so I ate those pieces and started writing more. "HE'S COMING AFTER ME AND YOU," I spelled. An uncomfortable pause followed.

"W-WY?" MJ said unsteadily. I knocked the table over and I ran around the room knocking other things over. I accidentally stabbed myself with a steak knife while running, I was bleeding, I didn't care, I just wanted to get away from that place in my head. I eventually ran out of energy and collapsed on the floor. When I fell down, the knife went farther into me. Now, it was too far in to get out, there was a 1% chance of getting it out without cutting my brain. Fortunately though, a moose doctor was at "The Pub" so he stitched me up real good. Apparently when I knocked the table over, it hit MJ in the head and knocked him out.

The next day came soon, it was a crisp fall morning, I went out to get the morning newspaper. "Uh-oh" I murmured. I hurried inside to show MJ the paper. I ran over to him and he took the paper out of my mouth.

"Hey, look at that, we made the front page," said MJ.

"No, not that, " I said, which apparently just sounded like noises to MJ.

"Oh, yeah…Anich," he said, gulping. I nodded with approval.

Then, in a flash, blackness swallowed me. I woke up soon after. I was in a rundown, old wooden house. I saw MJ next to me tied up, and I realized I was too. Anich was in front of us, he was waiting for us to wake up.

"So, you're up," he said sinisterly.

"Leave us alone!" I yelled. I glanced over at MJ. It must have been weird for him to hear a moose have a conversation, especially a yelling moose.

"I know you know," he said.

" I do, I remember, I remember! You killed my brother! You killed him, " I said, whimpering, "You killed him." I felt hot drops of tears trickle down my cheek.

"Oh, then I think it's time to shut you up… SCRATCH ME!" he egged on.

"Ahhhhhhh!" I yelled in anger. Then, Anich charged at me, as I used my antlers to cut my rope and MJ's. I dodged the attack just in time, I saw the chair I was sitting in less than a second ago break. It was my turn to be the assailer. I got on my hind legs and prepared for the attack. I put both my hooves down hoping to stomp on Anich. He dodged one, but he wasn't fast enough to avoid my other hoof. He suffered a devastating blow to his right side.

He was recuperating so MJ and I had time to gather our thoughts and start yet another attack.

"Do you still have that knife in you?" asked MJ.

"Yes," I replied. Then, immediately after, MJ opened up my stitches and grabbed the knife out of my head. The good thing was that the knife didn't cut my brain. I felt the blood gush out of the middle of my head with a pain that amused me. I started laughing maniacally and uncontrollable. Harder and harder, "HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!"

We had wasted too much time enjoying ourselves. In that brief moment of time, Anich looked for MJ and decided he would be his next target. Anich ran for MJ, once near he lifted his left antler, hitting MJ squarely in the cranium. It didn't seem severe at the time, but I wish he had never suffered that life altering blow.

I licked my lips and smiled. Blood was still flowing consistently down my head. I don't know why I was thinking about myself and not MJ. Anyway, I charged at Anich and MJ got my cue. I charged carelessly but persistently at Anich as MJ kept swinging his blade in attack as well.

"Yes, " I exclaimed, after I landed the charge. That slowed him down and MJ had a chance to get him also. MJ cut along Anich's right side. A long slash mark led from his right front leg to his right back leg. That was my chance to get him again, since he was distracted from the pain. So, I got ready for the finishing charge. I ran as fast as I could, and crashed into him, causing him to go flying into the wall. Once on the wall, he slid down like a rag doll.

I went to see how much damage I had inflicted. Then, Anich said, in his last pitiful words: "Hey, you got the killing gene from me." Just then, in those few words, I realized what I did. I killed someone. Not just someone, my own father. Was I really so ignorant as to believe that killing him would make up for the loss of my brother and make things better somehow?

The police showed up and the ambulance and the firemen, you know, the works. The ambulance took us to the ER. MJ and I remained silent the whole trip. I just got new stitches in my head, and I wish I could say the same for MJ. An unusual problem had occurred. When MJ got hit in the head at the fight with Anich, the antler hit him in just the right spot and at just the right angle to give him Telleitis. It's a disease caused by antler fungus in the head. The fungus grows in a layer over the brain causing brain dysfunction. The brain sends signals to all parts of the body telling the limbs and head to detach. The conditions of Telleitis occur in a definite sequence over the course of thirty minutes. First, the arms slough off from the shoulder sockets. Following the arms, the legs are next to fall off. Then, the head detaches. The agonizing part about the brain detachment is that after the head is released from the body, the brain remains active for another half hour.

The doctor said that MJ will start experiencing the effects of Telleitis in approximately fifteen minutes. The doctor didn't tell MJ about the disease so MJ wouldn't run away or be sad his last happy fifteen minutes. I walked into MJ's room slowly, trying to look happy. MJ called me over to him, so I obediently came.

"You're the best, Roadkill, you've always been loyal and good to me. We've had a lot of good times, but we've also had some bad times, haven't we, Buddy?" I nodded yes.

MJ said, "Well, we've made it this far, what's stopping us now? Just promise me you'll stick with me 'til the end." I nodded, holding back tears, even though I wanted them to overrun me.

"Uh!" MJ grunted. His nose was falling off.

"No, no! MJ, MJ! Don't die on me now, not ever! I want to be by your side. We can get through anything!" I screamed. It sounded like squealing to him, but I didn't care, I had to tell him. One single tear dripped from his eye as he realized his fate.

"Aaahh! " he screamed as an arm fell off. The blood dripping on the floor sounded like rain. I put my head on his body. Floods of nurses and doctors came to pry me off of him, but I didn't pay attention to them. All that mattered was MJ. Another arm fell. I couldn't bear it! It felt like my own arm was getting ripped off too. A leg, it was, this time. Tears were flowing out of me like a raging river. Another leg fell. All that remained was a head attached to a body. Then, his head came off. I screamed! The next thing I knew, I was grabbing MJ's head. I jumped out the two story window.

I felt shards of glass in me, but I just kept running as fast as my feet would take me. I was running to the H.U.M.N.A. headquarters in Canada. HUMNA stands for Hyper Unicorn Moose New Alliance. I got there five days later and ever since, I've been fighting in their wars. Now, I've earned the title of General Roadkill. I keep MJs head so I can never forget what he did for me ever since I was a. Never forget MJ.