Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. At all.

Warning: Shounen-ai, homosexual relationships, etc, etc.

Author's Note: I'm much too lazy to do chapter stories.



You have been forewarned.

And he Claims I'm forcing him to do this


By: Freekiwi


I didn't mean to actually say anything, but it was so hard not to. It was so hard to keep my voice low when all I wanted to do was make noise. Even if I was sort of forcing him to do this, it didn't make it any less pleasurable. Even if I was technically mouth-raping him, it didn't make this feel any less good. If anything, me forcing him made this feel even better.

"Oh, Sora…"

I say sort of forcing him because I had given him ample time to leave. I had given him many attempts to escape. I hadn't exactly held the door open and said leave, but he had opportunities. Okay, so I wasn't full-on mouth-raping him. He was kind of doing it to himself, too, but he would blame him being fucked in the head on me and my games.

My sick, sadistic games where I toyed with him, but he kept coming back. He kept coming to talk to me. He kept wanting to be my friend. Yea, fine, he wanted to do this on some kind of schedule, but this was on my terms.

If I wanted him during school, he would give it.

If I wanted him late at night, he would give it.

If I wanted him when he was with his girlfriend, he would give it.

Yea. Girlfriend. I know, it makes me laugh too.

Mister I'm-so-straight. Mister cheerleader girlfriend. Mister popularity. Mister can charm anyone and do anything he sets his mind too. Mister perfect. Well, friends of Sora, he doesn't look so perfect down on his knees, does he? He doesn't look so straight with a dick in his mouth, does he?

"Mm…" my teeth sink into my bottom and I'm unconsciously moving my hips, trying to get more of myself down his throat. For someone who's only blown me a few times, he's pretty good at it. Hell, for someone who claims to NOT be gay and that I'm FORCING him to do this, he's pretty fucking good at giving head.

Maybe Kairi has a dick I'm not aware of.

God, Sora looks good like this. He looks good sliding up and down my shaft. He looks cute with that little pouty look as he tries to stay mad at me, but the anger is sort of forgotten when he starts to really concentrate on my erection. I've never seen a boy (or a girl) critically think about giving head the way Sora does.

It's almost like he's measuring my shaft and calculating in his head how much he'll be able to get down his throat before gagging. It's like he's trying to figure out the trajectory of my semen when I cum. It's like he's trying to find out EXACTLY what does me in. Sora is one of the only boys I know that found all my weaknesses in one sitting.

He knows how to get me hard.

He knows how to get me to orgasm fast, but really hard.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

Whatever, buddy. Your mouth is on my dick and I'm not holding you to it. There's no knife in my hand, no gun in my hand, no threat. Nothing. Just you, me, in this shitty utility closet.

My hands are against the wall behind me because I feel like I'm about to fall over. His mouth feels so amazing and I'm really close. I watch as he slides up and down my shaft and I can feel every time he sticks his tongue out as he draws back. I feel every time he gently grazes me with his teeth. I feel every small suck. I feel everything.

I feel his hands gripping my hip bones.

I feel him deep throat me and then moan and I can feel the vibrations from his throat.

He's good, but he claims he's never done this before.

"Fuck, Sora…" my eyes close and I lean more fully against the wall. I'm really close. We should've found somewhere to sit and do this because standing is becoming a problem.

"Don't stop…" I'm surprised at how even my voice is, given how close I am. I'm glad it's even – when it shakes, Sora knows I'm weak and when he knows I'm weak, he'll do something really rude like build me up to a climax and pull away right before I peak. The temperature difference from his mouth and the stagnant air always takes me away from my orgasm and he knows it.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

"Mm…" my teeth sink into my lower lip and I dig a hand in Sora's brown locks and pull forward slightly, forcing him to deep throat me. He doesn't seem to object as I shoot my load. He actually runs his tongue along my cock as it jerks and this causes me to sway slightly.

I get REALLY sensitive after I cum.

Maybe it's just me.

I finish and Sora pulls off and gives me a complimentary cleaning up which always makes me smile and laugh because I'm so fucking sensitive. It feels good to be cleaned off. I kinda like it when he just chills out and lazily toys with me… It's cute in a really sexual way.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

"Mm, Sor…" I bat him away and then yank up my jeans and boxers, adjusting myself with a slight flinch. I hate being this sensitive. Worth it though.

"You're an asswipe," he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Mm, yea, I know…" I mutter, fixing my belt and adjusting my jeans.

"No, you really are. How long do you think you can keep this up?" he stands up and I know he's wondering if he looks like he just gave head.

He does.

But I'm not going to tell him. He just called me an asswipe.

"I'm going to keep this up as long as you let me."

Sora blushes hard, but still tries to look angry, "I'm not letting you!"

"Mhm…" I'm patronizing him.

"I'm not! You pulled me from lunch and in here and then you just pulled your pants down and –"

"And what?" I smirk, "and I instructed you to suck and what did you do? Did you leave? Did you say no?"

Sora blushes even harder and my smirk turns into a grin that I have to bite back to keep from looking like a complete dick. True, the first time Sora ever gave me head, I had forced him. But all the times after that, I merely told him what to do and he did it. I never threatened. I never used force. I just instructed.

"Well… I…" he swallows hard.

"You did what I told you," I feel sort of bad, so I wrap my arms around his waist and at first, he sort of struggles against me, but then he stops and just kind of stares at me.


"You're hot."

"I don't care what you think. You're just some stupid faggot," one of Sora's hands begins to play with the sleeve of my shirt and he's looking away like a little kid proved wrong, but refusing to admit it.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

"Mhm. I'm just a big monster, huh?" more patronizing.

Sora glares, "dude, shut up. I sucked your dick, so just let me leave."

"You can go," I unwrap my arms from around him and step back, but he still stands there and he looks sort of surprised and sort of disappointed. "I'm not forcing you, Sora, you can go. If you don't want to go, then just say you don't want to. I don't care."

A glare, a pout, and he gathers up his backpack and storms out of the utility closet, slamming the door so hard, I'm sure the whole school will know what we've done by the end of the day.

It's not a secret that I'm gay. I'm not a flaming homosexual who's in your face about it, but kids aren't talking behind my back about my sexuality. Well, okay, they are, but not questioning whether I'm straight or gay. No one knows about Sora because I don't tell them and Sora isn't exactly parading it around that he gives me head or that I give him head.

It's our little secret.

He could tell and I wouldn't care. People would just expect something like that to occur between us and then they would mumble about it and move on.

It's Sora's reputation and all his choice as to whether or not he wants to soil it.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

Him and Kairi have been dating for almost three years, but they've never had sex. How do I know? Kairi's my best friend and she tells me all her woes and worries. I know why they aren't having sex, but I'm not going to tell her why they aren't.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

Don't misjudge me. It's not like I don't care about Sora and it's not like I'm just using him to get off every now and then. We were best friends from kindergarten and all the way through last year until I kissed Sora. Excuse me for thinking he might be queer. Excuse me for being right about it, too. The kiss sort of ruined our friendship.

We're not really friends.

Part of the reason I started this whole thing with Sora was because I was pissed. You try kissing your best friend, having him flip, and then having him ignore you for a whole summer, and act like you don't exist in your final year of high school. So, okay, yea, I DID force him to suck my dick.

Halfway through, I lost my will, but he kept on.

Why stop a good thing?

I care about Sora, but I also care about me and as for Kairi? Sora told her about the kiss and she demanded he not hang out with anymore. I kinda have a feeling that's part of the reason he ignored me. Why am I her best friend?

Uh, look at her arm candy.

Now deemed my penis candy, if you will.

"I don't know, Riku…" Kairi sighs. We're sitting outside on the stairs leading to the front doors of the school. She's waiting for Sora and, by coincidence, I am, too. Not that either of them know it yet.

"Just give it time. Don't pressure him," I hide my smirk, "he gets sort of whiny when you force him to do stuff…"

She gives me a little hopeful smile and I give her one back, knowing very well and good that I'm going to end up in hell for this. That's okay. I think being gay may have already placed me there, but if not, this definitely kind of seals the deal.

I'll commence feeling bad later.

Sora walks out of the school and I see him first and wave and his face lights up. Then Kairi turns around and waves and his face sort of drops. Maybe it's my imagination, but I've known Sora long enough to know when his face is lighting up and when it isn't. I've known him long enough to know that I secretly thrill him.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

"Hey, Sora," I stand up before Kairi has a chance to say or do anything, "can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?"

I know Sora sees Kairi behind my back and she's probably making wild motions for him to NOT speak to me in private. Probably worried we'll smooch behind her back. Probably worried I'll turn him gay. Probably worried he'll be on my junk. I'll let her know later that all her worries were valid and she had every right to be concerned.

But for now she can just wallow.

"Uh, yea…" Sora's eyes had briefly moved over Kairi and now they're back on my face.

Without saying anything, I grab his arm and pull him back inside the school and towards the left where the empty auditorium is. School got out at three and it's pushing four thirty. Knowing Sora, he was probably at track or soccer practice or whatever the hell he does nowadays.

We walk into the empty auditorium and we stop near the back row of seats and without any words, I shove him against the wall and I kiss him. I kiss him almost to the point of fury and it takes me a moment to realize he isn't fighting me, but he's kissing me back. His arms are around my neck and his lips are crushed just as roughly and clumsily against my own. He moans somewhere in his throat and I have to pull away to breathe.

"Riku…" he sounds really out of breath and flustered and his cheeks are a little red.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

"I know…" our foreheads are pressed together and my arms are around his waist, "I know I shouldn't be kissing you…" my voice is pretty breathy, too.

Sora crushes his lips against mine and we're back in our furious lock. Our tongues are fighting for dominance and we're pressing against each other so roughly, I'm actually kind of afraid one of us is going to nick the other's lip or something. My hands roam up to his shoulders and I hold him even tighter to me and I feel like if we just keep pressing, we'll become one person. I feel like if we just keep pressing, we'll cease to be Sora and Riku and we'll become something so much better.

And even though we're this close, I still feel like we aren't close enough.

"Mm…" I moan this time and it's Sora who pulls away to breathe.

We both stare, our foreheads touching, our noses ghosting over each other. We're both panting as if we've run a long way and Sora, whether accidentally or on purpose, nuzzles me a little and my heart practically melts. I want it to be like this all the time. I want him to want to kiss me like this all the time. I want him to be with me sexually and NOT claim that I'm forcing him to do this. I want him to be okay with who he is so we can be okay together.

The auditorium doors open and we quickly break apart just before Kairi pokes her head in. She's got a really dirty look on her face and she mentions something about needing to get home. Sora nods, looks me up and down and I SWEAR I see a glint of longing in his eyes, and then he runs off with Kairi.

And even though he claims I'm forcing him to do this, I suddenly realize I don't like Sora.

I fucking love him.

Kairi gave Sora the third degree about us being alone. Apparently, she doesn't trust me. She's right, but still, what a bitch thing to say to my ex-best friend. I can visualize the fights between them. She's telling Sora to stay away from me and Sora is getting seething bitch mad because he keeps saying he isn't a faggot and Kairi needs to stop assuming he is one.

Poor Kairi.

I do feel bad.

Besides, she could never, ever love Sora like I do.

Nobody could.

It's Thursday. Tuesday was when Sora kissed me in the auditorium. I didn't see him or Kairi Wednesday and it makes me a little worried. Probably coincidence, but I still feel the usual panic in my chest when I think about dumb shit like what if they went off to Vegas and got married. Hah.

At around lunch time, I see Sora and Kairi and they're holding hands and Sora looks worried, but Kairi looks… smug. I wonder if I should bother talking to them, but when Sora sees me and he suddenly perks up, it just sort of tugs my heart strings and I walk over. I sit down with them at their circular lunch table, the usual smirk on my face. Kairi looks even smugger than before and Sora suddenly looks panicked.

"I didn't see either of you yesterday. What happened?" I try not to sound too interested.

"Oh, we decided to take a mental health day…" Kairi is clutching Sora's hand tightly and I wonder if she's cut off blood flow yet.

"Mental health day, huh?" I lean back in my chair. "Man, I need one of those…" I yawn and try to pretend I am totally aloof and just chill with whatever.

"Well, it was what our relationship needed. After all, neither of us are virgins anymore."

Sora goes a little white, Kairi is wearing a huge smirk, and I immediately cover the shock that crossed my eyes briefly. I raise a brow, pretend to be aloof, and then mumble something like "oh yea?" and then I look way across the cafeteria and wave, pretending someone is beckoning me over because I need to get away from both of them. I need to get away from Sora.

"See you later," I mutter and I walk across the cafeteria and out into the hallway. I'll just go to my locker and scrape my heart off the inside of my ribcage. I'll just pretend to get books or something until the bell rings. I'll pretend to be doing anything that doesn't require me to be near either Sora or Kairi.

Remember when I said it was shock I was covering?

It wasn't shock. It was hurt.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this?

Hah. Hah. Hah.

I get to my locker and I sling my backpack on the ground and I'm so mad and flustered, I can't even get my combination right on the lock. Naturally, I kick my locker and then I punch it because the stupid fucking lock isn't working and Sora is a fuck and Kairi is a fuck and all I ever wanted was to be loved by Sora. Okay – yea, you're right. I also wanted him to be sexual with ME and not HER.

Would anyone believe it if I said I've never actually had sex?

Probably not, but I wouldn't lie about something insignificant like that.


Oh. Great. Just the person I'm dying to see.

"What?" the word sounds so harsh, I'm surprised it came out of my mouth.

Apparently so is Sora because he looks a little stunned.

"What happened… With Kairi…"

"What?" my backpack, which is on the ground, is kicked and my stuff falls out everywhere, and then I get in Sora's face, "what, faggot?" I shove him, "what about her? You're just gonna suck my dick, but then fuck her?" I shove him again, wanting so badly for him to respond so I have an excuse to punch him until his nose breaks.

Sora mostly just looks hurt and doesn't respond and this actually makes me even angrier. How can he be so passive? He isn't the one who just had his heart smashed. Sora claimed I was toying with him? Please! He was toying with me.

The bell rings and kids start filing in the hallway and a few stop to stare at Sora and I because we're right in each other's faces. I want someone to start yelling 'fight, fight, fight' but no one does. Why is God doing this to me? Unless he's going to harm Sora in some way right now, I want an excuse to start a fucking fight.

"You're a piece of shit, Sora."


"How the fuck can you even do that? How can you sit there and tell me I'm forcing you into shit when you're the one fucking around with me?" and I'm so mad, I shove Sora. I REALLY shove him hard and this time, he gives me exactly what I want.

He shoves me back.

It's on now. Thank you, God.

Kids start crowding and yelling and I swing and hit Sora in the face. I expect him to go down because I expect him to still be the same weak, little boy I once knew. But he is changed and he doesn't go down and he actually hits me back and I'm so stunned and shocked by it, I don't do anything and Sora takes me to the floor.

And he's beating the shit out of me.

I can't even defend myself because I'm so stunned.

I feel blood across my face and that's when I stop being stunned and I shove Sora off my body. I shove him away and then I'm hitting him. I'm less successful at hitting his face because he's actually blocking my punches and protecting his face and I know his arms are going to be bruised really badly later. I'm all carnage right now. I'm one hundred percent power and all I can think about is hurting Sora. I want his heart to ache like mine. I want him to feel like a nasty, vile human being. I want him to realize what he actually is.

I want him to know that I know he's scum.

My fist is doing a pretty good job of letting him know.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

Sora shoves me off him. We're both clumsy on our feet and he comes at me and by this point, I'm so angry, I don't even care what happens to Sora. He comes at me and without really thinking about it or even really meaning to, I lock his arm and then break it.

I break his arm and the fight pretty much is over at that point.

The campus police and the administration are moving through the crowd and someone's hands are on me and someone's hands are on Sora and I'm being dragged to the principal's office and Sora is probably going to the hospital.

I really think I've fucked our friendship.

I really think that this is over between him and I now.

I also think I'm going to end up expelled and having to repeat my senior year or go to another school or something horrible like that.

It isn't until I'm in the office and they send me to the nurse that I realize I may have broken Sora's arm, but what he's done to my face is pretty fucking bad. My nose is totally broken. There's blood everywhere. There's blood pooling in my left eye and my lip is split down the middle. And I'm the one who isn't at the hospital? I need fucking stitches for my lip. There's no way that's going to heal on its own.

Despite the fight, the principal only suspends me and Sora for a week. Something about it being our first offense and something about not filing a police report and blah, blah, blah. What do I care?

This week from school will just give Sora more time to fuck me over.

My nose is fixed. My lip has six stitches in it. My eyes are sort of back to normal, but still pretty nasty. I haven't seen Sora since the fight on Thursday. It's now Sunday and despite all my efforts to get a hold of him, he's doing a good job at ignoring me. Should've known. He ignored me all summer long, what's a whole school year, too?

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

You can't force him to do anything. He's too stubborn.

I'm sitting outside on my front porch. It's raining out and it's shitty out and I'm feeling pretty shitty and all I wanted was for Sora to suck my dick. Just once. That's how all this started. I just wanted him to do it once and then I just wanted to let him go. But no. He couldn't have it just once. He kept coming back and he kept coming back and he kept coming back.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

He can suck a fuck. He can suck Kairi's fuck, actually, because that's obviously what he wants to do.

I sigh and glare at nothing and then I see a car pull up in my driveway and, guess who? Sora and his mother. Sora's arm is attractively wrapped in a lime green cast and a plastic covering to keep it from getting wet. His mother eagerly waves to me and they both hurry up onto the porch. I forgot that my mom and his mom always clip coupons together on Sundays. Why Sora is here, I'm not sure, but I'm not going to question fate.

Thanks, God. I owe you one.

"Hi, Riku! Your face looks a mess! Is your mother home?"

"Thanks, nice to see you, too. She's inside…" I motion for Sora's mom to let herself in and she does and I wait for Sora to obediently follow her, but he doesn't. Instead, he takes a seat on the wicker bench to the left of the front door and stares out at the falling rain. Ugh. Shouldn't he be with Kairi or some shit?

"Your face looks like shit," he mumbles.

"So does yours."

He glares. I barely struck his face and aside from a bruise or two, he looks pretty normal. That's what he gets, though, for being like this to me. For playing with me like this. Doesn't he know people get hurt when you play with them?

"I'm confused."

"Sora, permanent confusion is called stupidity."

He jumps up and walks over to me, "cut the shit, Riku," he looks mad and I glare at him, "seriously. You knew Kairi was my girlfriend. You knew it was a possibility. You broke my arm over it, so what's your problem?"

I swallow hard, "my problem? Oh, gee, hmm… I don't know, Sora, maybe my problem is you were fucking around with me quite willingly, but then burying God knows WHAT in her vag."

Sora blushes, "well, what do you want? She's my girlfriend!"

"Then why do you kiss back when I kiss you? Why do you blow me if I tell you to? Why does your face light up when you see me and not her? Huh?" I wanna shake him, but I don't because he looks pretty fragile. Maybe it's the broken arm, but he looks thinner or… or paler or something. Sick, maybe?

"I'm not talking about this," he turns away from me, but before he can walk inside, I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Why, Sora? Is it so scary admitting that you like me? Don't even say you're gay. Just admit that you like me."

He's still and he doesn't say anything and then, without a word, he walks away from me and into my house and I don't see him much for the rest of his visit. Well, at least I know he won't be in school tomorrow. That makes two of us.


And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

The suspension is pretty smooth. Neither of us go back until Thursday and it's Tuesday and again, no word from Sora. I keep asking myself why I care. I keep wondering why I put up with his stupid ass. But then I remember it's because I love him and I remember it's because only I know how to treat him and I remember it's because Kairi can't please him the way he wants to be pleased.

His face just screams 'do me in the bottom.'

Maybe that's just my opinion.

I'm in my room. It's been raining for days and there's a flood warning. My mom is off at work, my dad is off at work, and I'm all alone just listening to the rain on my bed. I didn't get punished for the fight. My mom said my ugly face was enough punishment. I lick over the stitches in my lip and flip through the magazine I had picked up from downstairs. Oh, look. Celebrities who don't know how to dress…

My cell phone buzzes and I flip it open to read a text from Sora that says "I've been ringing your bell for twenty minutes. Come open your door, ass."

Oh, sure. It's okay for him to ignore me, but not the other way around? I walk downstairs and unlock the front door and open it, letting in a soaking wet Sora whose casted arm is the only thing that's dry. Hair is matted to his face, clothes are stuck to his body, and he's busy trying to get the plastic off his casted arm.

"Can I help you?" I try not to sound annoyed, but I am.

"No. I just wanted to come over…"

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

"In this horrible rain fall?" it's really pouring out and I don't believe Sora just suddenly happened to want to stop by. Some crazy urge to come see his pal Riku or some shit.

"Yes, Riku, in this horrible rain fall," he pouts, "should I leave?"

I shrug and walk back upstairs and into my room. Sora obediently follows me and when we get into my room, he stands awkwardly by the door and he sort of rubs his casted arm and he looks so cute and so lost. I sigh and I grab his wrist and I lead him to my bed and we sit.

He's beautiful. Soaking wet, but beautiful.

"I'm sorry about the fight," I touch his cheek and then I quickly draw my hand away for fear I'm crossing some sort of line now. Isn't it weird? We go from not speaking to blowing each other to fighting to being afraid to touch.

Life is fucked.

"I… me too," Sora looks at me with his pretty blue eyes and I get up from my bed and walk over to my dresser, pulling open the drawers and finding a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt for him to wear.

Sora stands up and begins peeling off his shirt. He got my bed a little wet, but at the moment, I don't care. His wet t-shirt is tossed to the ground and he works his pants off with one arm and when it comes to his boxers, he hesitates. I hesitate, too, because I've seen Sora's dick. I've had it in my mouth. But it feels wrong now. Like maybe I shouldn't look or something.

He looks at me.

I walk over to my bed and I set the clothing down. I get on my knees and I press a kiss to Sora's naval and then I slowly pull his wet boxers down his legs and he steps out of them and I toss them on top of his other wet clothes. Is it weird that I want to nuzzle my face against his crotch? Is it weird I sort of want to suck him? Is it weird that all I've ever wanted to do was please Sora in more ways than just sexually?

I restrain and I go to stand, but a gentle hand is placed on my shoulder and I see Sora is looking at me with a curious look. A look that clearly states he's really unsure about everything in the world and he's really unsure about me, about Kairi, about himself…

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

"Are you mind-fucking me?" I stay on my knees and I gaze up at him.

"I… I don't know…" he licks his lips and stares down at me, "I just know I like it better when you do it…"

Well, that's all the motivation I need.

My tongue ghosts along his semi-hard shaft and he tangles a hand in my hair. He never pulls my hair or forces me or anything. The most he's ever done is play with my hair or maybe rub the back of my head, but I don't think it's in his nature to be rough or dominant.

Can you see him fucking Kairi?

Or do you see Kairi fucking him?
You tell me.

I open my mouth and take in just the head of his cock and he stifles a moan. I suck just on the very tip and I can tell he wants to work more of himself into my mouth. I can tell he wants me to go done and suck, but I don't. I let my tongue rub softly against his tip and I just suck.

"Riku…" he breathes and then he blushes. He's never, ever uttered anything when I blow him. I wonder if it has something to do with Kairi, but I push her from my mind. I work more of Sora into my mouth and I suck and he moans, his hand in my hair tangling a little tighter. I slide a little more of him into my mouth until I have almost all of him and then I softly moan and I can practically feel every hair on Sora's body rise.

I know how good it feels.

That's the fun part about being gay. If someone does something to your genitalia that feels good, you can do the same thing back. There's no trial and error bullshit.

I start to slide up and down Sora's cock, pausing occasionally at the head to lick the underside of his shaft and then I immediately go back down on him. I deep throat him and he gasps slightly. His cheeks are tinted pink from blushing and I kind of want to smile, but my current activity complicates it.

God, he looks good like this, too…

I pull off his shaft and I stand up, my hand immediately going down to stroke him.

"Sit…" I put a hand on his shoulder and he hesitantly sits down on my bed. I get back down on my knees and I bury my face in Sora's lap, taking his erection into my mouth and bobbing up and down. This is so much easier to do for both parties if the receiver is sitting down.

Hands tangle back in my hair and I pull halfway up his cock and suck, my tongue running up and down the underside of his length. Even though the last time I blew him was only a week ago, it feels like so much longer. It feels like fucking years and even if this is all I ever have with Sora, I'm glad it's something.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

"Oh, God, Riku…" he lets out a little breath and then a soft moan and I'm completely enchanted by him. I'm so hung up on him. It should be the other way around. He should be hung up on me and he should be enchanted by me, but… but I guess he kind of is. He's here, isn't he? He's back after everything, isn't he? I bet Kairi doesn't know he's here and I bet she definitely doesn't know I'm giving her boyfriend a blowjob.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

I pull off Sora's erection and I lap at the head of his cock, teasing him, playing with him. He bites his lower lip and watches me with a bit of interest as I lick up and down his entire length. How does he have so much self control? I hate being teased. I can't stand it when Sora does this type of thing to me, but he sits there and watches with hungry eyes.

"Riku…" he cups my cheek and I stop and look at him, "I…" his cheeks burn with color and then my cheeks burn, too, because I know what he's going to ask.

"I don't want to take advantage of you…" I lick my lips. "And I don't want you to let me fuck you because you feel guilty about everything…"

Sora takes a breath and looks away from me. I stand up and he stands up, too, and he's naked and I'm not and he looks so fucking amazing. I would fuck him even if he said it was out of guilt. I would fuck him even if he told me it was because he pitied me. God – I'm a tool. I would do anything Sora asked because I'm so fucking in love with him.

He probably knows it, too.

He probably knows I'm wrapped around his finger.

If anyone is forcing anyone here, it's Sora forcing me.

We stare at each other and he leans forward and kisses me on the mouth softly before pulling away. I wrap my arms around his waist and I pull him close and I kiss him for real this time. I kiss him how I've always wanted to kiss him. It isn't sloppy or messy or painful… It's total bliss. Our lips are connected and his arms are around my neck and mine are around his waist and then our tongues touch and my body is on fire.

The carnal need is there when our tongues touch. The second time our tongues touch, they fucking collide and our kiss becomes needy and hurried. Our tongues are wrestling and we're fighting for dominance over the other one, but we both already know who'll win. We both already know who's going to be entering who.

We break apart and Sora peels my shirt off my body and throws it to the floor. I realize he's never seen me naked. I realize he's seen my dick, but he's never seen me naked. Not since we were little kids. His fingers ghost over my chest and his hands immediately go down to my jeans and he unbuttons and unzips and one hand dives straight into my boxers and he starts stroking me.

And he claims I'm forcing him to do this.

"Ah…" our lips are close and I can feel his warm breath, "Sora…" I kiss him and he kisses me back and as his hand strokes me, I reach down and start stroking him, too. It feels right. I bet it looks hot, but hey, that's just me.

Our kisses become much more desperate and needy and I'm so focused on kissing Sora, my pants and boxers are gone without me even really realizing it. I only notice I'm naked when Sora breaks apart from me and examines my body. Oh, God. I feel really self-conscious suddenly and my cheeks tint just the slightest bit and then I see Sora smile.

"Are you embarrassed?" he's laughing just a little bit.

"No. You are. Shut up…" I grab his face and kiss him really hard on the mouth and I'm hoping I'll leave him good and marked up for Kairi come Thursday. I'm hoping she'll wonder why her boyfriend has finger shaped bruises on his hips and why his shoulders have bite marks on them. I'm hoping Sora marks me, too, and I can "accidentally" show them to her.

But I probably won't need to do all that.

I'm going to look so smug come Thursday, she's going to know before she even sees Sora.

We're on my bed and Sora is beneath me on his back. I'm kissing his lips roughly, my tongue dominating his mouth and then I'm down at his neck, licking and biting and sucking supple flesh and he's gripping me and moaning my name and I've never heard my name sound so good. Every time he says it, I want to melt. I want to preserve this moment forever.

My teeth sink into his shoulder and he moans, lurching against me slightly as I break the skin. His legs are wrapped around my lower half and his arms are around my back. He's hold me so close and my body is on fire. My heart is on fire. Everything is on fire and I can't recall a moment when I felt this good or this happy.

Sex is nice, but I wouldn't mind just holding him. I wouldn't mind just being intimate like this without really being intimate.

I'm a sap. Sue me.

"Riku…" he runs his fingers through my hair as I press hot kisses to his neck. My tongue darts to lap hungrily at his jaw line and he lets out a breathy moan. I know his secret spots. I know what makes him yearn for me. I know what to do to make him all mine. No one knows Sora like I do. It's impossible to know him like I do.

I know him inside and out.

Metaphorically and literally.

I pull up and he unwraps his arms and legs from around me so I can stand. I walk over to my desk and open the top drawer, digging in it for lubricant and a condom. Hey – safety first. I have no idea what kind of diseases Kairi might be carrying. Besides, I'm guessing it's his first time and I'm thinking a lubricated condom might make this easier.

I mean… I don't know.
I'm just terrified of hurting him. He's so… He's so tiny in every single aspect. Well… almost every single aspect, if you know what I mean.

I turn and walk over to the bed. Sora's looking up at with me with curiosity and I see there's the slightest bit of fear in his beautiful eyes. I cup his cheek and kiss him gently and whisper in his ear that he doesn't need to worry. That I won't hurt him. That I'll stop if it's too much. That we don't have to if he doesn't want to.

And Sora makes me want to melt when he whispers back "no, I want this. I want this more than you do."

God, is that even possible?

Will he still claim that I'm forcing him to do this?

I gently push his shoulders back so he's lying down again. He's watching me as I open the condom and roll it down my cock. He's watching me as I pop open the bottle of lubricant and squeeze some of it into the palm of my hand. He's making me nervous and I doubt he knows it. I wish Sora wasn't so fucking curious. I wish he'd just like…close his eyes or something…

"You're blushing…" he muses.

That only makes me blush harder.

"Why are you blushing?" he props himself on his elbows and his eyes sort of light up as I reach down and stroke the lubricant onto my erection.

"B-because…" I look away. "Shut up, that's why…" I mumble and wonder how much lubricant is enough lubricant.

"Wait," Sora starts to grin and I know what he's going to ask.

I can read him like a book.

"Is this your first time?" he grabs my hand – the one I'm using to stroke myself – and makes me stop. I look at him and I look into his eyes and I feel so dumb. I feel so stupid. I walk around like I'm so experienced and I know so much, but I really don't.

Is it dumb to say I was waiting for Sora?
Am I stupid to say that I wanted my first time to be with him?
Is it pathetic that every time I came across another boy, I had to turn him down because no one could take Sora's place?

Oh, God… I really am a sap.

"Y-yea…" I look away, but Sora cups my chin and looks into my eyes. It feels so invasive. He's making me notice that I'm naked. He's making me think about what we're actually going to do. He's making this less and less spontaneous and making this more into something we could possibly regret.

He's making this an active decision instead of just saying "we'll, fuck, okay… Let's just screw each other and get it over with."

I think the active decision is dangerous. It means he can resent me. It means he can regret this. It means he can think about me and this and hate everything that happens right here and now. An active decision means he can claim that I forced him to do this.

And I don't want to force Sora.

"You just seem… so willing…" he mumbles, the smile fading from his lips. "I figured… you know… you weren't a virgin at like… fifteen…"

I roll my eyes, "so you figured I'm just a slut? Thanks."

Sora laughs and it makes me smile even though I don't want to.

"No, Riku… I just… You're so confident."

"Well, confidence is sexiness…" I go back to slicking up my cock with lubricant. "And, besides… I wanted it to be with you, okay? I know that sounds dumb, but I just… I don't think it'd feel right with anyone else."

Sora looks a little surprised and it makes me look away. His tongue darts out to lick his lips and he swallows thickly, "uh… I mean… I get it… it didn't feel right with Kairi. It was weird and sort of awkward. I'm pretty sure she wasn't a virgin, but that's not really the thing you accuse your girlfriend of."

I calculate the time they've been dating minus her age and realize that if she's not a virgin, she's either cheated on Sora or she lost her virginity at an age that's way too young. At that age, sex should still be foreign. At that age, babies should still come from a great white stork. Not through some chick's slippery vagina.

"Maybe it didn't feel right," I push Sora back against the bed with my free hand and kiss his mouth quickly, "because you're gay. That may have been a leading cause in the unpleasant sexual activity with Kairi."

Sora opens his mouth to protest, but I kiss him. I don't wanna hear his backtalk. I don't want him to be all sassy with me right now. I want him to stop talking about Kairi and how he did her. I want him to stop asking me dumb questions and I want him to relax while I do what's right for him. What I know is right for him.

"Riku…" his eyes are fearful again and I raise a brow, wondering what he has to say now. I'm praying it isn't about Kairi. Throw me another bone God, you've done a really good job so far.

"I… I like that you wanted this to be with me," he blurts stupidly, "It makes me feel special and I…" I kiss his mouth to make him be quiet. I know what he's saying. I get it. I know how he feels. I waited for him. I know, I know. I'm so romantic and all that.

Oh, by the way?
Thanks, God. You're awesome.

I slick my fingers with more lubricant and I nervously touch his bottom. I'm terrified – probably more so than he is. Being receiver means lying there and chilling out and hoping it feels good. Being on top means actually doing shit right. It means paying attention and trying your best to make sure you don't tear the other apart – literally and metaphorically.

"I don't want to hurt you…" I breathe softly as I slide one finger inside of him. He's tight and warm and the slick lubricant just completes how good I know this is going to feel. "Just… Just tell me if it, you know… hurts…"

Sora is propped on his shoulders again and his cheeks are a deep shade of pink. I lick my lips and I use my free hand to stroke his cock gently, hoping it'll distract him as I slide another finger into his behind. Good Lord – there's no way this isn't going to hurt him. I think this might actually suck for him and it makes me feel like an asshole.

"Ah…" Sora wiggles his hips as I pump my fingers in and out of him, my hand still working his erection. "Riku…" he tangles a friendly hand in my hair and watches me. He's making me so nervous. He's making me so afraid. All the confidence I usually have is down the drain and I feel like a little kid. I feel like the same twelve year old that tried tirelessly to explain masturbation to my best friend.

Well, now ex-best friend.

I slide a third finger in and Sora clenches around me. Heat rushes to my cheeks and we make eye contact, but we're both so embarrassed that we immediately look away. Ugh, God… Intimacy is NOT beautiful. It's just torture. It's like puberty. The end result is fantastic, but all the shit in between is embarrassing and just so God awful.

My fingers are pumping in and out of him and I swallow thickly. My hand works his erection up and down and Sora is wiggling his hips so much that he's making my job a lot more difficult. My fingers slide out and I grip his hip, making him stop his movements.

"You're making this hard…" I mumble.

"That's what she said…" he jokes lightly and I try to hide the smile that crosses my lips.

What a dumbass.
What an absolutely loveable dumbass.

"Lie down," I push him back again, but he protests.

"I wanna be close to you," he whines at me and it tugs my heart strings.

"Okay," I kiss his mouth, "we will be close… I'll enter you and then I'll snuggle you while we do it…" I shrug, thinking that that's a pretty good explanation as to what's going to happen next.

Sora nods and lies down. He takes a deep breath and my hand that's on his cock goes to my own. I guide myself into his behind and when I look up at him, he's looking at me. We make eye contact and he nods. I push just the head in and I instantly feel overwhelmed by how hot and tight it feels. The condom blocks the feeling a little bit, but – fuck. I think without the condom, I would've orgasmed as soon as I entered him.

Well, no.
Not really.

… Maybe.

"Y-you okay?" I breathe, wanting to shove in more, but terrified of hurting him. I mean, you know… Give it a few weeks and I'll be banging him over a multitude of surfaces and as hard as I can possibly manage.

Wait – what will happen after this?
Will we be friends? Boyfriends? Will we be secret lovers? Are we upgrading from blow jobs to sex? What happens next?

I push the thought from my mind and I push into Sora a little more. He's wincing and he has fistfuls of my blanket waded in his small hands. I wish this felt as good for him as it does for him. My hand leaves my erection and it goes to stroke his. I'm halfway in Sora and it's a start. It's enough to attempt to make this better.

"R-Riku…" he breathes through clenched teeth.

"Y-yea?" I move my hips really, really slowly, "do… do w-we stop?"

He shakes his head and I'm relieved. It would be so cruel to stop now. It would be so awful to just have to leave all of this behind. This hot, tight pleasure. This amazing feeling. Having Sora where he is right here and now.

My hips fall into a slow, steady rhythm. I'm being as gentle as I can manage and Sora is doing a fantastic job at adjusting. My chest rises and falls and I lean down over him. One hand stays on his hip, the other on his erection. I got this. I'm not experienced, but I got this.

I nuzzle my face against his neck and press soft, wet kisses to all his sensitive spots. His hands rove up and down my back and every time I shove in, I feel his nails dig into my skin. Out of pain or pleasure, I don't know, but I'm scared to ask him. I'm scared he'll tell me that this sucks.

Well, Sora's too nice to say it quite like that.

He'd write it in a card or put it on a cake or something sweet like that.

"Mm…" he moans and a chill shoots through my body. His lips are near my ear and hearing him this close drives me crazy. I nibble his collar bone and kiss his Adam's apple as I speed up the rhythm in my hips. He seems okay – I have a feeling he'll stop me if it's not.

But for good measure, I ask him if he's okay anyway.

And he sounds so good, so amazingly good… He breathes back "more, Riku…"

Well, his wish is my command.
I am so not forcing him to do this.

I increase my rhythm and as I go faster, I find it's easier to slide more of myself into him. He's gripping me, clawing down my back and moaning my name. My wrist physically aches from stroking him this quickly, but it's so worth it. This is all so worth it. I moan softly against his ear and I feel his nails into my back. He's making me want to bite him. He's making me to want to leave huge hickeys all over his neck and shoulders.

"Riku…" he tangles a hand in my hair and holds me so close. His other hand claws at my upper back and I'm thoroughly enjoying the abuse. I'm close. I know he's close. I'm crushing my hips against his behind and it is way too hard to hold out. It's way too hard to ignore the extreme pleasure cursing through my whole body.

"Sora…" I sound so out of breath as I push into him again and again. He's the most amazing thing to me. He sounds good. He looks good. He feels good. He's everything I have ever wanted. He's the only thing I have ever wanted.

But having him this way doesn't mean I get to have him any other way.

I bet he'll claim I forced him to do this.

It's too much. It's way too much to handle and I hear Sora moan the words "don't stop." I know what that means. I would tease him. I would play with him. But today is not the day for that. I close my eyes tight and grit my teeth. I'm close too, but I want Sora to finish before me. It just… It just feels right. Like it should happen that way.

I've played this out in my mind.

It was a LOT sexier in my mind.

Sora grips me really, really tight and his nails claw so hard into my back, I let out a hiss of pain. But then I feel his seed spill from his erection and I feel his cock jerk as he orgasms. It does me in and I orgasm right behind him, filling the condom with wet, sticky seed. Knuckle-children, as I heard them once called.

So gross.

So very unappealing.

"Ah… Riku…" Sora is gripping me so tightly. I wonder if he drew blood and part of me kind of enjoys knowing I'll be all marked up. I'll need to find an excuse to take my shirt off. I'll have to "accidentally" show it off to everyone.

But… But can I tell them it's Sora who did it? Can I tell everyone that I had Sora beneath me and it's Sora's nail marks and it's Sora who did this to me?

Or will he tell everyone I'm forcing him to do this?
Will he tell anyone at all?

I'm panting and Sora's panting and I slide out of him carefully. I know he's going to be sore tomorrow. I think I'm going to be sore. I sit up and slide the condom off my cock, wincing at how sensitive I am. I'm sensitive to the point of it being nearly painful and I hate it. I tie off the condom and toss it into the waste basket near my bed.

I would stand, but I think I'd just fall down.

My legs are like goo and it's all Sora's fault.

"God…" I breathe, still sitting between the brunet's legs.

He props himself on his elbows and flinches slightly, "hey…" he's sweaty and he looks fantastic, "this isn't over…" I look up at him and raise a brow, "you have to kiss me now and hug me and tell me you love me."

I don't know if he's playing.
If he is, he's a bigger dick than I thought.

I crawl over to him and I lie down. I gather him into my arms and I kiss his face, touching every available spot of sweaty, soft skin. He cuddles close to me, pressing his face against my neck and breathing deeply. I run my hands down his back and I kiss the top of his head and then nuzzle my face into his spiky, brown locks of hair. He's so small, so fragile and thin… He's everything I've ever wanted and he's everything I have ever needed.

"I love you…"

For a second, I think I'm having a surreal, out-of-body moment because I hear the words, but they don't leave my lips. In fact, my mouth doesn't even open and it takes me a moment to realize it's Sora who mumbles the clumsy-sounding words against my bare chest. It's not me. It's him. It's totally him admitting that he loves me.

Lucky for him, I happen to love him right back.

"Yea?" I squeeze him and my body relaxes finally, "that's weird."

Sora pushes away from me and looks up at me, confusion and slight hurt crossing his features. I smiled at him. He's cute. Really, really, really cute and then I kiss his mouth once, twice, three times. He's so slow.

"Say it!" he whines at me. "Say you love me back."

I cup his cheek and I press our foreheads together. Our noses touch and he involuntarily nuzzles against me.

"I love you back, Sora…" I tangle a hand in his hair, "I love you more than anyone else knows how to."


It's him who's forcing me.

"Hey!" Sora runs up to me in the hallway and smiles brightly, "why didn't you call this morning? I wanted to give you a ride to school…"

I shrug, "I overslept and left my phone at home."

Sora frowns and I cup his chin, bringing his face close to mine so I can press a soft kiss to his lips. The hallway is practically empty. No one will see. And, besides, is that such a big deal?

After all, Sora told me himself that I'm not forcing him to do anything.

I mean, I forced him to say it.
But it's true.

"Mm, don't…" he pushes me back slightly, a little smile lining his lips, "I don't…" he looks away, cheeks tinted a little pink, "I don't want everyone to know about me…"

I roll my eyes, "please. You're my arm candy. You think kids don't talk about us? You mysteriously break up with Kairi and then you and I –"

Sora cuts me off, "I found out she cheated! Besides, she was making us not be friends! This all makes perfect sense for us!" he grasps my hand in his own and holds it. We reach my locker and I twist the combo luck and swing the door open. Pictures of him and I adorn the inside of my locker and Sora admires them with a smile.

"Mm, you're a cheater too," I remind him, "and I don't think that was quite all her. You're a big boy," I look around and kiss him quickly on the lips, "no one can force you to do anything."

And Sora smiles because he knows damn well that it's the truth.

Author's Note: Extra long, smutty one-shot. Woohoo!