This was written for prompt 'wilted rose' at http:// community. Livejournal .com/iy_wiltedrose (if you are a Kikyou fan you should check it out.)
Warnings: A bit cynical & highly influenced by I'll Find Mine by Meg & Dia (but not a song-fic)
Pairings: InuxKag, past-InuxKik, Kikx?
.Five Bad Ideas.
It's only natural, every part of it is. You see, everything withers away in winter, all sorts of things, flowers, trees, grass, and so much more. So, obviously, it's only normal that things die from in the cold season.
Romance and supposed love shouldn't be any different. Don't you think?
It's been a while since there was a 'you and I', the other day I was doing some spring cleaning as I prepared for the move I'm ever so eager about. Much to my regret I came across a box of things better left burned or forgotten, I personally prefer the former, but all the same I sighed heavily as I glanced through the pictures. Back then, they looked so happy… we both did.
With a shake I broke free from the trance to throw the photos back in the box then into the trash, no need for reminders, right?
Then I saw you with her the next day and I was so grateful I knew you before you met her because I know how guys are before they get her. I can't deny that there was a pang of a little something when I saw the joy you seemed to relish in while you wrapped an arm around her shoulder, the ebony tousled twit giggling all the while as you chatted her up so more.
And our eyes locked, for but moment, and that smile of yours dissipated before the traffic picked up and the cars zoomed by to separate us once more—but there was so much already in the way.
I turned away and walked on to my class again, you were never good about that. I bet you were skipping, again. How do you plan to get a degree with that type of work ethic?
It doesn't matter. I've got it down; you showed me the error in so much and I prefer you not being there anyway.
"Kikyou," you weakly greeted the next day, I tried not to show how my mind was shouting for you not to sit down next to me but you did. Instantly you managed to crush the good day I was having, so I sighed and said 'hey' back before I turned my attention to the professor as we entered the room.
No-no number five, don't arrange your course schedule around your certain someone if you even have a little doubt.
"So, how's it going?"
Stop trying to strike up conversation; I don't want to be friends. I'm pretty sure I made that clear when "we" ending things.
"Good," I replied all the same with a flash of a synthetic smile, "you?"
"Good, do you know what classes you are taking next semester?"
Anything you're not, "nope."
"That's not good," you lectured like you were some sort of good student, "registration started yesterday, you know how the upper level classes fill up."
First, genius, I was always the one on top of everything in our relationship so of course I know what classes I am going to take, I have four different schedules fully planned out in case I can't get into my first two choices so obviously I'm lying to you. Second, don't try to push me around like that. Third, did you ever really know me at all?
"I know," I sighed.
It's too bad I know you. Look, I know you resent that I'm alone and that's why you are here trying to make nice and sitting by me in class after weeks of pretending like I didn't exist. Pity and mercy do nothing for me; on the contrary, I hate it. You know me better than that, I thought, you should know that.
Or are you just doing it to piss me off?
No, you're a bit of a jerk and a huge idiot but not cruel and spiteful. You haven't enough intellectual to do that properly.
No-no number four, don't date someone who you can't hold an intelligent conversation with on the topics that interest you the most.
Go meet your girl, I wanted to say as we walked out of class together regrettably, you were still trying to make amends or whatever but I could see her across the hall looking at you like you were crazy. So, I did you a favor, I turned away as if we weren't talking at all and walked off. We can pretend you never even knew me, it would work out.
I could tell you were baffled by the sudden cold shoulder treatment but you shrugged it off and went over to the giddy freshman that was waiting for your attention so eagerly. Don't let go of that one and I'll find mine… maybe.
There's nothing wrong with being alone, relationships are a bother more often than naught. What with all the time they consume and the study that could be done instead, all the outings with friends that are lost and adventures that could be had without a counterpart. I like it, being single. I know you think that's crazy but I don't need to go in search of a new guy to screw so shortly after our wilted relationship's end.
I'm not like you, that's probably another factor that killed us.
No-no number three, opposite attract sometimes but more often in movies, books, and other works of fiction. In reality, it'll be fiery and hot for a while before it gets down right annoying.
I run into you every time I walk out my door it seems. I pretend not to notice you and you do the same or… you just don't. Oh, it's precious; you never held my hand like that before.
Just like that, you seemed to notice that I was around—that there was a world outside of you and her. But, there is no need to stop and wave. You stay calm and composed around the girl in a green skirt and I'll be brave. Don't ever look down on me, don't ever feel bad for me and I'll be fine.
Each time you make the mistake of acknowledging my existence you do you notice how uncomfortable that freshman of yours looks, or are you as blind with her as you were with me? I'm fine; really, you weren't the center of my world like you wished you were. Without you, life is just dandy.
That's why I started to avoid you even more so than I was before; it's just annoying to see you. It's not that it hurts. I am a bit cold, just like you always said. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of not thoroughly explain it to my roommates not to answer the door when you come around knocking. I didn't think I had to but they're both hopelessly stupid romantics that think that we'll make up and something ridiculous.
Honestly, I was a little bit more than confused when they called me to see you standing there with slouched shoulders and a hand dug deep into your most adored red-hoodie.
"Kikyou," you started slowly, you must have been able to see the dumbfounded look I didn't try to hide. "Look… lately… I just want this tension between us gone. Can we talk?"
Oh my lord, there isn't any tension. I don't care why is that so hard to understand?
Still, I nodded and stepped out instead of inviting you in. Ha, that threw you off for a bit as I closed the door so those noisy roommates of mine couldn't hear.
"I… I feel like you've been avoiding me lately, are you mad?" Jealous, I could hear that was what you wanted to substitute in. Would that have made you happy if I were?
"No," I drew out in hopes to break through the thick skull.
"We aren't together," I stated simply, "it's not avoidance, there's just no need to see each other."
I'd much rather we didn't, after all.
"I thought we agreed to stay friends?"
I could have sighed at that one but didn't, you never listened to me. I specifically stated that we didn't need to because—surprise, surprise—we weren't to start out with.
No-no number two, don't date a guy that you weren't friends with to start out with.
We met at party, we clicked, and went back and forth for a while with calls, texts, and café visits but we weren't friends. We were just waiting for the other to show the same level of interest, we hadn't any intention of being just friends so there is no point in becoming that now.
But, to appease you and keep you from arguing with me, not to mention the joyful fact that summer break would be starting in but a week, I replied, "yeah."
Yeah, such an indifferent word, it's not exactly a full-fledged 'yes' but it's not a 'no' either. And when said as halfheartedly as I did it is securely placed in the unknown zone.
But you weren't ever clever enough to pick up on that, instead you smiled as you pulled a yellow rose out from behind your back to hand it to me, "good. I'm glad. I was worried there."
I cocked a brow at the offer and let me chocolate orbs flicker between you and the 'gift' a few times before I gently took it, avoiding the horrid thorns and managed to put on another artificial smile, "yeah… I've got to go, Inuyasha. Finals, you know."
"Right, see you around," you grinned like you had solely solved the world's worst dilemma—cocky moron—before you walked down the hallway to your apartment just as she walked up the stairs to call out your name in that terrible shrill voice.
No-no number one, don't date the hot guy that lives down the hallway from you. Once you break up you see him every time you walk out the door. It's a nightmare.
I cringed as I went back inside. For a moment or two I glanced over the yellow rose, I bet it was by pure chance that you picked out the one that represents friendship… you are not that smart and I doubt that devoted in developing something like that with me. Right?
Hey, guess what else yellow roses symbolize? Infidelity, so I threw it on the table before heading back to my room. What a shocker, not, maybe I'm just paranoid but that freshman was flocking to you before our falling out. I don't think you ever went that far, but I know you had her lined up and waiting for our demise.
You probably told her it was your idea when it was mine. I was bored of it, I told you as much but being the self-centered man you are you thought that was just my way of accepting the 'let's break-up' talk you were preparing. It's wasn't. Honestly, I was ready to move on. It was just a college romance, nothing more.
We can pretend that it never happened, I know I will.
My roommates and I are not real cleaners around finals time, we barely even stay at our apartment, so I wasn't too surprised while I transported my boxes of things from my room to my car to see the yellow rose still on the table, exactly where I had left it.
Wilted and dead, just like us. I wish you could see that. I'm not crushed by it, I'm not upset, I'll move on and find the next fleeting romance eventually.
"Damn it," I hissed as the box tore and fell out onto the sidewalk. I knew that was going to happen, it's no shocker; I was just really hoping that it'd make it to the car before it broke apart. It was the last one I had to deal with. With a groan I squatted down to pick up all the items that had spilled out.
"Need help?" Someone asked as he knelt down before me, I wasn't in a great mood so I almost snapped a 'no' before I looked up to meet his gray eyes.
"Sure," I warily replied instead.
"You look familiar; do you live in this complex, too?"
"Used to," I smiled back as I opened the truck to shove everything in whatever little space was left.
He seemed to recognize that I hadn't any intention of keeping up conversation, "Going home for summer?"
"Yep," I nodded before I closed it to look at him fully once more. He was rather handsome, but so were you…
"I'm Suikotsu," he offered in hopes that I'd tell him mine, it took a moment but what harm could a name be?
"Kikyou," I even smiled for him, a real one, not the fakes that I phony up for you. "Do you live here?"
"For another day, it wasn't as nice as advertised, next year I'm probably going to fine somewhere new.
"Me too," I nodded as I looked about the complex once more.
Perhaps I should figure out where Suikotsu was moving to so I knew not to make the same mistake twice? I'm sure it would be best if we lived apart… well, well, were did my almost cynical disposition go? If I didn't know any better, I would have mistaken that for optimism…
That's when I looked back to the still smiling Suikotsu; I'd dare to say he is handsomer than you ever were.
Summer is always a good season for growth, anyway.
A/N: Ignore the advice at your own peril. I'm just happy to say summer is finally here~
I hope you enjoyed and please review.