A/N~ This popped into my head after watching one of my all-time favorite scenes from Criminal Minds – when Brad hits on the girls at the bar. Hope you guys like this!
Aaron Hotchner looked up from his paperwork when he heard a knock at his door ten minutes after he had dismissed the team for the night. Morgan poked his head in with his go-bag in hand.
"Hey man we're going to all meet at Vinchie's at seven. You in?" the tall dark man asked. They had just gotten back from a hard case in Nebraska, and were in need of nigh of relaxing. They had gotten back two days earlier than they had expected when the UNSUB slipped and cut his arm on a broken window, giving the team DNA for Garcia to run though the system. Jessica had taken Jack to see her parents while Hotch was out f town, and offered to drive him back early so he could see his son. As much as he wanted to see his son, Hotch couldn't keep him away from his only living grandparents, so he was in no hurry to get home and wanted to catch up on some paperwork so he wouldn't have to do it when Jack got back.
Seeing that his boss was about to say no, he said, "come on man! We had a tough one and need a break. Just come for one drink." He then ducked out of his boss' office and exited the bull pin.
Hotch leaned back in his chair and sighed. He knew that he should go out with the team. He had been trying to connect with them and go out with the team more since Haley. And this was one of the few nights that Jack wouldn't be home, so he might as well take advantage of the opportunity. Looking up at the clock, he saw that it was almost five o'clock. He could go home and change if he left now, or finish up the report and leave at six thirty and go to the bar in his suit and tie. Letting out another sigh, he gathered all the remaining case files on his desk and put them in his bag. He locked up his office and stepped into the empty bull pin.
Contrary to popular belief, he was in fact not born in a suit, and he wanted the team to get to see the more 'loose' side of him. He just might undo two buttons tonight- you never know. Thinking about what he would wear instead of his traditional work wear, a conversation he had overheard from Prentiss and JJ popped into his head. They were talking about how sexy men were in navy shirts and khaki pants. Seeing that he had both things, it seemed like a good idea. And if Prentiss thought it was a turn on…
Pushing those thoughts out of his head, he marched out to his car.
"URG! What am I going to wear? What are you guys wearing?" implored a very unhappy Emily Prentiss. She shuffled through another set of clothes, all that were too work-like, too tight, too loose, too not-right for a night at a bar with the team.
"Oh shush my darling. You have more clothes than Kevin had Spiderman action figures. Speaking of which is really creepy and I need you help in disposing of them," Garcia said going from joking around to complete seriousness.
"If it helps, I have a silver sequenced dress that I'm going to wear with those new heels I got last time we went out shopping. I finally got my pre-baby body back!" JJ exclaimed.
"You never lost it!" Emily, Garcia, and Will exclaimed at the same time. The two girls smiled when they heard his muffled shout through the phone. Jeez! Emily thought. JJ really did get the last viable donor…maybe… Garcia's shouts snapped her out of where her mind was starting to go.
"OMG my precious do you remember the conversation on the case?" Emily and JJ snickered at the same time. Garcia had come with them on the last case, and they were all sitting in the room the local PD had given them to set up in. Getting distracted from the case itself, Dave and Morgan began debating the new spring lines of Victoria's Secret. All the women had rolled their eyes at the fact that the men cared more about patterns and color more than they did. None of them wanted to know that Dave preferred red lace, and the only one who cared that Morgan liked black silk was Garcia. That happened to be the top she planned on wearing to the bar.
In the middle of their heated discussion, Hotch, very uncharacteristically, added that he preferred black lace before asking Reid what he could determine by looking at the geographic profile.
"Oh my gosh yes! Emily you have to wear the dress!" JJ screamed into the phone.
"No. NO! Guys, I can't wear a black lace dress knowing that it will get my BOSS worked up. That is wrong on so many levels." Although she was arguing with them, she actually kind of liked the plan. She was into Hotch, much more than she should be, but she couldn't really help it. And she had to admit that she looked pretty good in the dress. This might get make her a blimp on his radar now.
Pulling the dress out of her closet, she smiled and hung up after saying goodbye to JJ and Garcia. Oh yeah – this was going to be a fun night.
At five after seven, Dave, Reid, and Hotch were sitting at a table to the side of the bar watching Morgan dance with three women at once. Dave was sulking at the fact that Morgan was the ladies choice, and the woman who had approached him was only trying to get with Morgan, and the other woman he asked to dance with him said she didn't want to dance with someone from her grandpa's generation.
Reid, fairly nervous to be sitting with a very angry agent and his pretty unemotional boss, was relieved when he saw JJ and Will come in and quickly ushered them over to the table. Will shook the men's hands and JJ gave everyone hugs before they sat down. Before they could say a word, they were interrupted by a high-pitched squeal, and turned to see Garcia making her way through the crowd to them rest of the team.
"Good evening my precious people! I apologize for my very fashionably late attendance, but the lovely Miss Agent Bad Ass Prentiss would not let me leave her when she got stopped by just about every heterosexual man we passed from the car to this table." Garcia looked around her, and looked confused when she did not see Emily. "Okay I swear she was with me twenty seconds ago…"
They all turned in the direction that Garcia had come from. "Whoa," Reid breathed when his eyes caught Emily. Rossi raised his eyebrows, then looked over at Hotch, who was just staring. Hotch couldn't take his eyes off her. She had on a black dress that came down to the middle of her thighs, but the top of the dress was dark lace that was covering the barely showing skin of her chest. The lace continued down her arms and was more see-through. Her hair was curled and shook with every slight turn of her head. She had on similar black heels that made her legs look as if they went on forever. She was drop-dead gorgeous.
JJ's mouth dropped. Not because of what Emily was wearing, which was awesome, but because of whom she was talking to. Grabbing Garcia's arm wordlessly, she pointed to the man standing next to Emily, suddenly looking extremely nervous. Garcia began to laugh so hard, she entire body shook. Just then Morgan made it back to the group, wanting to know why Garcia looked as if she was about to pass out from the lack of breathing while she laughed, why JJ was gaping, why Rossi and Reid looked surprised, but especially why Hotch had a look of lust in his eyes.
Seeing Emily for himself, he let out a wolf whistle and immediately understood the rest of the team's reactions. Except for Garcia's…"Baby girl why in the world are you laughing?" Unable to answer him at the moment, JJ did for her. "See the guy next to Emily?"
Those words snapped Hotch out of his little day dream, and he clamped his jaw shut, focusing on the man next to his Emily. He looked extremely nervous, but who wouldn't be talking to woman so beautiful.
"That, boys, is Brad. Idiot tried to pick Emily up at a bar we were at a year or so ago." None of them were shocked by that – lots of guys tried to pick Emily up where ever they went.
"Using the pick-up line, 'I'm an FBI agent,'" she finished. This made Garcia erupt into more laughter. Rossi, Reid, Morgan, Hotch, and Will, who had heard the story before, were all smirking at the man's idiocy. By this time JJ was laughing hysterically and had a hard time going on.
"Naturally, we messed with him for a while and he said something like how carpenters were good at building things and that the FBI was good at kicking criminal ass," she managed to get out between fits of laughter. They all turned back to where Emily was standing with an even more nervous looking Brad, smiling. Brad looked up at the group, who all waved at him. Just as he looked like he was about to bolt, Emily said something that made him stay and he looked like he was going to throw up from nerves. The look on his face was hysterical.
Just then, a though popped into Hotch's head. Smiling at the group before getting up out of his chair, he quickly turned on his no-nonsense-bad-ass-who-stares-down-serial-killers-and-rapist-for-a-living mask, and aiming his top glare at Brad, effectively making him freeze in fear.
The team watched and could see his face change into something he reserved for some of the most prolific serial killers and make his way towards Emily and Brad. They laughed harder when they saw the utter fear on the idiots face.
Emily couldn't help but smile as Hotch made his way over to them, and had to bit her lip to keep a semi-straight face. Hotch quickly, and very professionally, pulled his badge out of his pocket and flashed it at Brad, who chose that point to try to make a run for it. Hotch quickly grabbed the man and pulled his arms behind his back while pushing him face up against the wall. He pulled his handcuffs from out of his pocket as well (forever the prepared Boy Scout), and linked them to Brad's wrists.
"You are under arrest for impersonating a federal agent and attempting to evade a law enforcement officer. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney…"
At that, Emily completely lost it. Her knees buckled out from underneath her and she slid to the ground, covering her face with her hands as she erupted into laughter. Tears started streaming down her face, and it was starting to get hard to breathe. Her entire frame was shaking, and looking up at Hotch, she saw that his was too, though he kept his voice even and emotionless and had a perfectly straight face. Turning his head to look down at her, he flashed her a dimple that made it harder to breathe for a completely different reason and he winked at her before ripping Brad from the wall and walking towards the door, out to the parking lot.
Once Emily got herself somewhat under control, she walked up to the team who all looked amused, but also very confused. She sat down in the seat Hotch had just vacated, and burst into laughter again.
"Emily would you like to explain what just happened please?" Rossi asked. The rest of the team waited for her to calm down enough to explain, but every time she thought she had it under control, she lost it again.
"Hotch…just arrested Brad…for impersonating and evading a federal agent!" she choked out between fits of laughter. After hearing this, the entire team and Will started laughing too. They were still laughing when Hotch made his way back to their table, and they all applauded him. Smiling, he pulled up a chair from another vacant table and sat next to Emily, and feeling a little adventurous, let their legs rest against each other.
"Ok so where is this guy?" Morgan asked, smiling. Hotch flashed both dimples before answering. "I put him in the backseat of my car in the handcuffs. I figure I'm just going to let him sit there and freak out for a while before cutting him loose. No one tries to pull a move on my Emily and gets off the hook too easily," Hotch said looking down at Emily, smiling. Emily looked up at Hotch when he said that. She was his Emily. Without thinking, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. They drew back when they heard a second applause.
"Well it's about time!" Rossi mumbled while JJ and Garcia were smiling and wiggling their eyebrows at Emily. Hotch put an arm around Emily's waist and put his lips against her ear.
"Did I get a chance to tell you how god damn sexy you look Agent Prentiss?" Hotch whispered huskily in her ear, causing her to shiver. Pulling back to whisper in his ear, she said, "you keep it up Agent Hotchner, and we might just have to get those handcuffs back from Brad."
Hotch gave her a smile before announcing to the group that they were going to go release Brad back into society for him to make an even bigger fool of himself, then he was going to take Emily home. He just didn't specify that it would probably not be her home.
Emily rolled her eyes at the knowing looks from the team and left the bar with Hotch, taking his arm as they walked to his car. Once they approached, they put on their most professional faces while Hotch opened the car door, pulling out a terrified and very shaken Brad. Without a word, Hotch took off the handcuff and pocketed them, showing off a dimple to Emily who gave him a coy smile.
"Just a word of advice Brad – if you ever impersonate an FBI agent again, try arresting someone while you're at it. It's a hell of a lot sexier," Emily said before getting in the passenger seat of Hotch's car and driving off, leaving a scared, confused, and absolutely prettified Brad standing in the damp parking lot.