Disclaimer – I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

*Rated M for Mature

WARNING: The moves described in this fic CAN hurt others. Do NOT use these moves unless it is for SELF-DEFENSE.

If you are interested in learning/practicing SELF-DEFENSE, please CONSULT a PARENT/GUARDIAN and/or sign up for a CLASS on SELF-DEFENSE.

Author's Note – I do not claim to be an expert, but I have had the privilege of taking a full semester of Self-Defense for Women class instructed by a wonderfully strong and powerful woman. She also assists at a Rape Crisis Center, so in a way, what you'll learn from this fic might also aid you in rape prevention as well as defending yourself.

Each chapter will go over—in detail—a different self-defense move. You'll learn the name of the move, what weapon from your person you'll be using to perform it (e.g. hand, leg, etc.), and where you are targeting on your attacker.

I hope you will benefit from this fic.

Summary: P.E. has taken a drastic turn at Domino High. Now they have to take Self-Defense. However, the P.E. teacher knows little about it. In fact, Joey ends up teaching it! And what will Seto Kaiba think, whom Joey purposely made his assistant?

Chapter 1 – Introducing Self-Defense

"Guys, I'm getting worried. We haven't seen Joey all morning," Yugi exclaimed, waving his arms in the air for emphasis. "Where could he be?"

"I don't know," replied Tristan. "But I have to say I'm getting worried, too. It's not like him to miss the first day back to school."

Yugi, Tristan and Tea stopped walking and just stood there, wondering what they should do. They still had a few minutes before they needed to get to class. And besides, it was Physical Education (P.E.). They could be late.

But it was the first day back after Spring Break and Joey was nowhere to be seen. And to make matters worse, the blond didn't even have a cell phone, so they couldn't contact him even if they wanted to.

"Hey, Yugi. Still no sign of Joey?" Yami asked as he approached them.

"No. And I'm getting really worried, Yami! What if he's hurt?" Yugi exclaimed once more.

Yami placed his hands on Yugi's shoulders, trying to get him to calm down. "Yugi, let's just go to P.E. After class, it'll be lunch, and we'll figure out what to do about Joey then. All right?"

"All right, Yami."

"I hate P.E. It's boring."

The four of them groaned. Bakura had arrived with Ryou, who was currently rolling his eyes.

"Hello, everyone," announced Ryou. "Where's Joey?"

"We don't know where he is," said Tea.

"Perhaps you should keep the Mutt on a leash," Kaiba stated as he pushed passed them to the gym. "Or better yet, lock him in a kennel."

"Kaiba, you bastard!" Tristan yelled, waving his fist in the air.

"Ooh! What's pointy-head so mad about?" cackled Marik as he arrived with Malik.

"Geez, does everyone have P.E. this period?" questioned Tea.

"Well, fourth period P.E. only has seniors, so I guess everyone we know is in this class," answered Yugi.

Suddenly, they heard the warning bell ring.

"Shoot! Gonna be late!" Duke cried as he ran past them. "Are you guys coming or what?"

Everyone sprinted for the gym, making it just in time. But their teacher wasn't even there!

"You mean we could have been late?" Tristan said, feeling cheated. But at least one good thing came out of this. At least they didn't have to dress out the first day back.

"Morning class," announced Mr. Davis, their P.E. teacher; however, mostly everyone called him Coach instead. The students all turned to see Coach enter the gym looking…pale…and scruffy.

"Oh, my God! Are you okay, Coach?" Yugi gasped, taking in his appearance. They all did.

"I'm…fine," he replied, clearing his throat. "Um…the school has decided to add…a new unit to your Physical Education requirement, seeing that you're seniors and all. But I…I didn't qualify to teach you the course…so they hired an assistant for me!" he cried. And he literally started crying.

Yugi—who seemed to be the only bold one at the time—approached Coach cautiously and placed a trembling hand on his arm. "It's okay, Coach."

"It's not okay!" Coach roared. "I told the principal that I could do it and that I didn't need an assistant! So this morning…I challenged the assistant they hired and I…I lost!" he wailed.

"And what did you lose in?" Yugi continued.

"Self-Defense! I'm supposed to teach you guys Self-Defense! I only know how to execute the moves! I didn't know that you actually had to teach the situations you'd use them in! And now this hotshot kid is going to be running the show!"

"Um…hotshot kid?" What? Yugi was just trying to get information.

"Yeah! Hotshot kid! Actually, now that I think of it, he's a friend of yours, isn't he?"

"Friend?" But all of Yugi's friends were here. Well, all except—

"Joey?" Tristan cried. And then he paled. It was actually kind of scary to see him go from tan to a color similar to Ryou's skin tone. "Oh, no! Nononononono!"

Now Tristan was getting frantic. He'd overheard what Coach said to Yugi. Oh, God! Joey was going to be the one teaching them Self-Defense!

Yugi and the others were momentarily confused. Tristan had cried out Joey's name and then just started rambling. What was wrong with him?

"Coach, would ya stop cryin' already?"

Yugi's eyes widened. "Joey? I was so worried—why are you holding a clipboard?"

"It's your roster," the blond replied, waving it in front of Yugi's face. "I need everyone to make a line on the far side of the gym."

When nobody moved, Joey glared at them. "I'm Coach's assistant hired by the principal to aid in this Self-Defense course. I am a Certified Self-Defense Trainer. I work at a youth sports center where I assist in teachin' Self-Defense classes and I volunteer at the Domino Rape Crisis Center. Now that I've given ya my credentials, make a line on the far side of the gym!"

The students scattered like mice. They'd only ever seen the goofball side of Joey, not the serious and assertive one.

Kaiba had to admit, he was kind of intrigued by this new side of Joey. It was an attractive quality. The CEO suddenly blanched at where his thoughts had led him. The Mutt? Attractive? Was he insane?

Joey scanned his roster, and when everyone was accounted for, he asked everyone to sit down.

It looks like the Mutt is going to give us a lecture. This should be interesting, Kaiba thought to himself.

"For those of ya who don't know me, I'm Joey Wheeler, and I will be your actin' instructor for the next few weeks," he began, glaring at Coach when he started crying again. "Over the next few weeks, you'll learn the art of Self-Defense.

"Now, Self-Defense allows the person bein' attacked to use reasonable force in their own defense and the defense of others. A person may use physical force to prevent impendin' physical injury. But a person may not use deadly force unless that person is in, again, reasonable fear of either serious physical injury or death.

"Deadly physical force, however, may only be used if the person actin' in Self-Defense is unable to retreat safely, meanin' the person is unable to safely escape their attacker and get help. Are there any questions so far?"

When Joey received none, he continued. "You'll be learnin' various moves in this course and will have to work in partners. I've paired ya off already, but we'll get to that in a bit. If ya find that you're uncomfortable with your partner, come see me right away. Some of these moves you'll be learnin' will put ya into each other's personal space, so when learnin' these moves, it's best to start practicin' with someone you're comfortable with. Got it?"

Yugi, being the good student that he was, raised his hand. When Joey called on him, he asked, "Are we learning any moves today? Do we need to dress out tomorrow?"

"As for dressin' out, ya won't have to. In times of defendin' yourself, ya would be dressed as ya are, so I strongly suggest comin' to class that way. But today, we'll be workin' on yellin'."

"Yelling?" Duke blurted. "Just how is yelling going to help us defend ourselves?"

"I'm gonna be givin' ya some key phrases to use and show ya how to say them. But first, let's pair everyone off. Yugi and Yami, Ryou and Bakura, Malik and Marik, Duke and Tristan..."

With that, Tristan seemed to be getting some of his color back.

When Joey had finished his list, Kaiba became confused. The Mutt hadn't called his name. Now, come to think of it, the Mutt hadn't called Tea's name either.

"Tea and Kaiba? You two will be workin' with me. Okay," Joey started, putting his clipboard down. "We're gonna start with a very easy one. This is so ya can get a feel for how to sound assertive. I want everyone to say the word 'no.' Now, when ya say it, ya need to sound forceful. You'll be usin' your thoracic diaphragm to help ya. It's a tissue of internal muscle separatin' the thorax and abdomen. You'll be usin' that to help produce a louder and stronger sound."

Joey then started pointing out on his body where that was. When everyone got the idea, he continued.

"I want everyone to copy what I do…NO!" Joey said forcefully, making everyone jump. His voice seemed to resonate throughout the gym. "Ya see how that surprised all of ya? That's what ya wanna do. Somethin' as simple as that might be enough to startle your attacker and give ya the advantage. Now it's your turn."

The blond pointed at the students and they said 'no' as assertively as they could.

"Ya guys can be louder than that. We want the whole school to know that ya mean it. Again!"


Somehow, that one little word made them feel empowered.

"Good. All right. Our next one is…BACK OFF!" Joey said it in the same way he'd said 'no.' "With this one, make sure ya emphasize each word. Ya need to mean it."

Joey pointed at them.

"Back off!" they shouted.

"Again. And louder this time."


"Excellent. Now the last phrase I'm givin' ya today is…LEAVE ME ALONE!"

He pointed at them again.


And again. And again. When they got the hang of it, he let them do whatever they wanted for the rest of the period.

"Hey, Joey? Why don't I have a partner?" asked Tea, running up to him. Kaiba did the same, although, he didn't run.

"You and Kaiba will be assistin' me when I give the demonstrations," answered Joey.

"And that means what, Mutt?"

Joey frowned at the nickname. "It means that when I show them how to execute a move, you'll be the one I'm usin' it on. Don't worry, you'll have protection. And after that, Tea will then use the move on me so the girls can see…well, a girl doin' it. After the demonstrations, they'll practice and the two of ya can help me perfect their technique."

"Okay," said Tea. "Oh, and we have a lot to talk about at lunch. We were worried when we didn't see you this morning."

"We'll talk at lunch," Joey nodded in agreement, and when Tea went back over to their friends, Kaiba rounded on him.

"If you're doing this just to try and embarrass me, you have another thing coming," Kaiba snapped. "You could have easily paired me with someone. Why didn't you?"

"I paired boys with boys and girls with girls. I was gonna have a boy and girl left over, so I selected ya and Tea. Let's just say that I've taught Tea a thing or two in this area and she's mature enough to assist me. I picked ya because…well, I didn't think ya'd enjoy bein' accosted by one of your fangirls…or worse, your fanboys."

"That's your reason?"

"Most of them won't take what I'm teachin' them seriously. They'll laugh and think a lot of this stuff is stupid or silly. Both ya and Tea are mature and it'll be easier to get them to take things seriously if ya two assist me."

Kaiba was actually surprised by the blond's reasoning; it made sense. "Is that all you need from me? To assist you?"

"Um, do ya mind meetin' me here before school every day? I would like to make sure that we've got the moves down before I teach them to the class. We wouldn't want to have any mistakes made durin' that time."

Kaiba stared at him for what seemed like forever. "Fine. I'll be here tomorrow at seven sharp."

And then he just walked away. That had been a lot easier than Joey had anticipated. Strange.

"Joey! Where were you this morning?" Yugi exclaimed at their lunch table. "You had me worried sick!"

"And why didn't you tell us about you teaching us Self-Defense beforehand?" added Duke.

"And why did Tristan pale when he heard you were going to teach us?" put in Yami.

The blond just smirked. "I was notified yesterday that I'd be assistin' Coach for this. And this mornin' I was in the principal's office discussin' the terms of this assistant thing. Tristan paled because he probably thought I was gonna be usin' him for my Self-Defense demonstrations. Isn't that right, Tristan?"

"Shut up," his friend retorted. "You're murder when it comes to stuff like this."

"Only with ya," Joey replied, finishing up the rest of his food. "I'm not puttin' ya guys through boot camp or anythin', just one Self-Defense move a day."

"And why did you want Kaiba's help, Joey?" inquired Tea.

"I'll tell ya what I told him. I need everyone in the class to take this stuff seriously. Ya and Kaiba are both mature enough to show the others that," he replied.

"And Kaiba agreed?" Tristan exclaimed.

"Yeah. And he also said he'd meet me before school so that we can go over what I'll be teachin' each day."

"This is gonna be good," said Tristan. "I can't wait to see you put Kaiba in his place during class tomorrow."

Joey frowned and got up. "I'll see ya guys later. I need to walk around some."

Hurrying out of the cafeteria, the blond leaned against the wall just outside with his back pressed against it. They just didn't get it. He didn't pick Kaiba just to put him in his place. That wasn't what this class was about. He wanted to actually teach them to defend themselves…if the time to use it ever came.

The only reason he'd picked Kaiba—although he was afraid to admit it—was because…he wanted to spend some time alone with him…to get to know him better…and to maybe…break past that wall Kaiba always had up.

Because, to be honest, he really liked Kaiba. And he wanted Kaiba to feel the same way about him. But more than anyone else might think.

Joey didn't just want to be friends with Kaiba. Oh, no. He wanted something far more than that.

End Chapter