Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: This is the third chapter in the Exclusively triple-shot. Chapter one won the Texts From Last Night Contest. As a writing exercise I wrote Bella's POV of the same story for the Haiti compilation and eventually posted it as chapter two, and it seems fitting that I round off the story with both POVs for the final chapter - my contribution to the Fandoms Fight the Floods compilation. You may want to read the first two chapters to refresh your memory…
A BIG thank you to my beta CandyTwi and to Robrator for the beautiful banner – linked on my profile.
Bella was clutching me, squeezing me tighter to her and gasping.
I didn't want to leave her body. I wanted to stay cocooned in our sweaty embrace, buried inside her, sharing her breath, never letting her out of my sight.
I had claimed her wholly as my own. I had taken her innocence greedily; she'd chosen me, freely. I knew that this was it; she was it. Bella was everything I didn't even know I was looking for, but now I knew. It was a certainty, a clarity that was calming, hypnotizing, yet paralyzing in its truth.
I have found heaven.
Bella is my heaven and if I'd ever before been completely and utterly opposed to monogamous relationships, it was because I never, ever thought that this feeling could really exist.
It had to be; because there was no other way I could describe the feeling of holding her.
I felt her shift infinitesimally under me and was instantly concerned she might be sore. I slowly, reluctantly, pulled my half erect dick from her warmth. I felt the gush of fluid rush out with me.
Her lips pushed against my neck as she tried to stifle her sigh.
Oh God, she is sore.
"Are you OK?" I whispered in her ear.
Her arms pulled me tighter; her body shuddered.
The word was barely audible as her lips slowly kissed my throat.
I closed my eyes, basking in the feel of her and the enormity of her moment. She'd just lost her virginity.
I would never have believed it, if I hadn't experienced it. How could this delicate sensual woman, with the most exquisite body I'd ever come across, have been a virgin?
"Let me take you to the bathroom." I said, my throat scratchy and dry. "A bath will help you relax, soothe your body."
Yes, have her lie on me in a sensual bubble bath, my hands washing her perfect body, and then, maybe she'd be recovered enough in the morning to let me have her again, slowly.
I uncurled myself from her and looked down between her legs; the evidence of her innocence a diluted pink stain on my white sheets. Get her into the bathroom, come back and change the sheets. She doesn't need to see this.
I lifted her and carried her to the end of the hall to my bathroom.
When my feet hit the cool marble floor I turned the light on and instantly turned the dimmer dial down to a soft glow. I gently placed her on her feet, my hand splayed through her messy hair. I had to kiss her again, slowly, softly.
"I'll draw us a bath, and give you a few minutes alone, OK?" I reached behind her to place the plug in and turn the water on.
I looked back at her, she was biting her bottom lip, and the sight nearly did me in. She was innocently sexy, flushed and a little nervous.
"Edward, would you mind bringing me my bag? I think I may have dropped it by the front door," she said timidly.
I kissed her again; she reacted by wrapping her arms around my neck and leaning fully into my kiss.
Bella is addictive.
When I slowly pulled away she stared at me, with a look of adulation. I had definitely dazzled her.
Fuck, she's going to be the death of me.
"Sure, I'll bring it up and then I'll give you some time alone." I kissed her again and then reluctantly walked my naked ass into the hall. I headed fast down the stairs and saw her bag and the card with my address lying on the floor.
I picked up her bag. It was heavy. I put the card back inside – not that she'd need it; I wasn't going to let her fucking leave, and when she did need to go home, wherever in the city that was, I'd be taking her and not fucking leaving until she kicked my ass out.
I couldn't help but smile as I bounded up the stairs two at time and back to the bathroom.
Bella was sitting on the lip of the bath, still naked, her hand swirling through the shallow water. I'd never seen a vision more perfect.
"Hey," I interrupted her from her thoughts.
She stood up and smiled at me. "Thank you," she said, taking her bag and resuming her lip-biting.
"I'll give you five minutes." I said. "There's some bubble bath in the vanity, if you wanted to put some in the water?" I backed out and closed the door. I heard her let out a contented sigh as the door clicked closed.
Fuck, fuck, I'm so fucking insanely high on her!
I raced to the linen closet to pull out fresh sheets, stripped the bed and re-made it in record time. I mentally thanked my mom for teaching me how to make a bed properly, although she'd be mortified if she knew I just deflowered a delectable virgin on a bed that was still askew from last night. My usual morning routine was to slip into bed after coming home from fucking some generic blond. It was always at their place; no need to keep my bedroom tidy.
I'm never doing that again. I belong exclusively to Bella, the beautiful woman that's in my bathroom right now.
I stood naked in the bathroom, clutching my bag. He was being so nice. He knows I've never done this before. Would he want me to bathe and then leave? I didn't want to leave. I wanted to do it again, and again, with Edward, over and over, every night for the rest of my life!
He'll be back in five minutes! I could feel the evidence of our lovemaking running down the inside of my thigh.
I'm not a virgin anymore! Do I feel different?
I closed my eyes as I recalled the way Edward had touched me and kissed me, caressed me with his tongue. Oh God, the feel of his fingers in my mouth, the feel of them touching me...
Snap out of it!
I dug into my bag and found the makeup remover and proceeded to wipe away the thick black smudge of eyeliner and mascara.
He'll be seeing me soon, without Alice's expert makeup. He'll see my flushed skin, he'll see my freckles.
I chose to leave my contacts in; the steam from the bath would fog up my glasses. What if he asks me to leave? He might ask me to leave straight after. I don't want to think about it.
The bath was almost full. I looked in his vanity for the bubble bath. There were condoms, lots of condoms in a brightly colored and very large box. My heart sank. Jasper's words flooded my brain.
'...He sleeps with a different woman every night and he's done it for years. He'll no sooner get you naked, get himself off and then leave. You'll never see or hear from him again. I don't want you mixed up with him. He's bad news Bella, he's got a sex addiction or something, he's just not right for you, OK?'
I felt sad.
Just this one night, that's all I have. If we were at my apartment, he would have left by now. Maybe he feels sorry for me, because I was a virgin. I can't get attached; it's just tonight. That's all it would ever be; a one night stand.
My gut dropped at the feeling of anguish this knowledge brought me.
I tested the water; it was the perfect temperature. There was bath oil, the fragrance of gardenias. I squirted some in the bath, whirled it around with my hand and turned the water off. I took a quick pee; it stung a little. I wiped myself and saw small dots of blood. Oh God, I've soiled his beautiful Egyptian cotton sheets.
I touched myself. I was tender and moist, and so sensitive. I clenched my eyes shut as I remembered him groaning as he came. Edward came inside me!
I flushed the toilet and washed my hands. I was nervous. I rummaged around in my bag and found a tie to pull up my hair.
Enjoy every second with him. Tomorrow, it will be just another day, but I'm not a virgin anymore. I'll never see him again, but it will always be him. It will only ever be him that holds that title – my first. Edward Cullen was my first. I'll always remember, I'll never forget.
There was a light tap on the door, it opened and he walked in – perfectly naked and grinning at me with a look of exuberance.
"Hey," he said and walked up to me. He put his arms around my waist and kissed me softly, delicately on the mouth, pulling me to his chest. My body was humming with euphoria. Just the feel of his skin touching mine was arousing me again. I had to curl my hands around the nape of his strong neck. He continued kissing me; very slowly he started backing me up, his lips never leaving mine as he turned me in a half-circle. He stepped into the bath, his hands leaving my waist to pull my hands from around his neck.
He slowly sat down, holding my hand as I stepped over and into the water.
"Come here," he said and pulled me down so my back was against his chest. The water sloshed, some tipping on the floor. I sat between his legs, the water deep, just covering my nipples.
It felt wonderful, he felt wonderful, and the smell of him, his arms encircling me. I was tired, and felt myself relax. Just tonight, I chanted to myself, but it felt so right. Here in Edward's arms felt...like it was meant to be.
"You feel so good," he whispered in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. I tried hard not to visualize it, but the image of the jumbo box of condoms I'd seen in his vanity was a reality check against his seemingly heart-felt whisperings.
Maybe virgins get special treatment? Oh God, the longer I stay, the harder it will be for me to leave him.
"Hmmmm," I murmured, snuggling my back against him. Just go with it, one night. Make the most of every second.
I found his perfect hands that were locked around my waist and pulled them up to place his open palms on my breasts.
We both moaned.
He started massaging my breasts slowly, squeezing them gently and running his fingers around my nipples, driving me positively insane with desire. My head fell back against his shoulder as he started kissing my neck.
This is unbelievable. If this is what it feels like with a perfect stranger, how is it going to feel when it's someone that loves me and I love back?
Or would it only ever be like this with Edward?
I was dizzy and tingly. I grabbed Edward's left hand in both of mine and up to my face. I could feel his lips smiling against my neck as I inspected his beautiful hand.
"You really do like my hands, don't you?" he whispered.
"Yes, I really love your hands," I said as I brought his fingers to my mouth and gently sucked them. The bath oil tasted disgusting, but the feel of his soft skin against my teeth was addictive.
"You love them?" Edward groaned and squeezed my breast with more force.
I didn't answer. He said the word 'love' so tenderly I thought my heart would break.
Oh God, no, he thinks that I'm one of those clingy virgins that will expect him to date me now. I playfully bit at his finger then ran my tongue over it to soothe it.
Edward let go of my breast and his hand lowered very slowly over my stomach, across to my hip then back over and down.
Oh God, OH God.
His beautiful slender fingers were slowly circling around and around and applying pressure in all the right places. I turned my face towards him and shifted slightly so he could reach me easier.
His hands are magical.
His rhythm was constant and undulating and my head was clouded with warmth, from his body pressed against my back, from the heat of the water and the steam that surrounded me; his beautiful graceful fingers glided over my teeth and tongue. I was so euphorically contented, I never wanted to leave, and I never wanted him to stop what he was doing to my body.
Edward's warm breath was against my cheek. "Tell me Bella, does this feel good?"
Is he kidding?
I pulled his fingers from my mouth before speaking. "Edward, yes...so...amazing..."
"I can't wait to make love to you again, in the morning."
Oh God yes, he wants me to stay? He wants to make love?
"Yes, Yes!" I croaked. I was so close, so close.
I held his open palm over my mouth as I plunged my other hand into the water to cover his, halting his movements and pressing his fingers down in the exact spot I needed as I rocked my pelvis forward and came.
"Ohhhhh God," I whisper-moaned through my release, his hand muffling my sounds. My shoulders hunched forward as I tried to ride it out for as long as I could, eventually allowing my relaxed body to fall back against his chest.
The sounds of my frantic breathing and the swishing of the water in the bath echoed around the tiled bathroom.
"Bella," sighed Edward, as he sucked my neck. "You're just..."
My heart was pounding in my chest. I could feel myself quiver. I held Edward's fingers unmoving but with firm pressure against me. The shock of the situation hit me hard. I'd had three orgasms, in the last hour.
That's got to be some type of record?
I slowly eased the firm grip on his hand and pulled it away from me. My chest was rising and falling, the steamy water swirled around my breasts and Edward shifted closer to me. I could feel the hard lines of his body in contact with my back. His breath was labored too.
I was so tired, instantly. I was blissfully sated, but felt that dead weight you feel when you've been in the water too long, my limbs felt like concrete. I was blissed-out, not waterlogged. I didn't want to move.
I shuffled my body, twisting slowly in the water to turn enough that I could put both arms around his neck and kiss him. He returned the kiss, sliding his expertly arousing tongue into my mouth, his beautiful hands running over the bare skin of my back and shoulders.
We kissed for what seemed like an eternity, but when he pulled away, I wanted more.
"We should sleep now," he said. His wet finger traced my lips; the scent of the oiled water filled my nose. I grabbed his hand; it was crinkly and pale from being too long in the now cooled bath.
"OK," I sighed and tried to pull my legs up, but my exhaustion and sleepiness proved to be more debilitating than I could have thought possible.
"Stay, I'll help you." Edward pushed gently against me, extracted his legs and lifted himself up easily to step out of the bath. The view of the water traveling down his lean legs, his muscled thighs and perfect ass was mind-numbingly erotic.
Holy shit; he is perfection.
He grabbed a white towel and casually wiped his chest and arms. My eyes devoured his gorgeous wet nakedness; I clutched the side of the tub for support. He flipped the towel behind his back to rub the water from his shoulders, all the while smiling sexily at me, while I feasted on his body, a body that seemed more like a classically chiseled Roman statue that a living breathing man.
He wrapped the towel low around his hips, his beautiful long fingers tucking it in. I was captivated.
Edward held his hand out to me. "Come on beautiful," he said as I took his hand. That delectably sensual pulse from his touch ran up my arm and into the pit of my stomach. He helped me out of the bath, my legs wobbly with exhaustion.
I stood in a daze as he took a clean towel and carefully dried me, his hands occasionally brushing over my skin, sending waves of goose bumps wherever he touched. I stared at his chest, his throat, his jaw; my eyes lingered on his lips, as he smirked at me.
"What?" he asked, his hand holding the towel ran slowly over my sensitive nipples, making me blush from arousal.
"I...want you...to kiss me again," I said shyly.
I knew this was the only night, and I knew if I wanted something, I shouldn't be afraid to ask. My breath hitched with that thought, the thought of not seeing him again, but I quickly squashed it. I knew what I was getting into; I had no cause to question it now. I would never regret losing my virginity to Edward. I would remember it for as long as I lived.
Edward's hand cupped my face gently; his eyes stared at my mouth as he licked his lips and lowered his face to mine. I stood naked with my breasts pressed into his chest as he expertly deep tongue-kissed me. I had never been as completely lost in the moment as I was right then. I trusted him with my body completely, I trusted him with my life, the only thing I knew I couldn't trust him with was my heart.
He slowly pulled away from me, his eyes dark, both our breaths labored from the passion of the kiss.
He swallowed loudly and brought the towel up under my arms, holding it at my breasts.
"I'm taking you to bed now, to sleep."
I took hold of the towel and secured it. Edward stood watching then he held his forearm out to me. I latched onto it, my still fatigued legs barely holding me upright. He guided me back to the bedroom. He had closed the blinds and his bedside lamp lit up the room. He'd also tidied up and the bed was made. My clothes were draped carefully over the arm of a leather armchair near the window.
Edward kissed me again then pulled the towel from my body casually, letting it drop to the floor.
I guess we're sleeping naked.
He dropped his towel then we both scooted under the covers. I was nervous. I'd never 'slept', with a man before. Oh shit, what if I still talked in my sleep?
"Are you OK?" he asked as his finger traced my furrowed brow.
"I'm a little...thirsty." I said.
I couldn't tell him I was worried about the fact that tomorrow, or rather, in a few short hours, I'd leave and never see him again, it was making my heart hurt.
"I'll get you a drink," he smiled at me. "Water, juice, soda?"
"Water is fine." I croaked.
"I'll be back in a minute." He lazily rolled off the bed and walked naked from the room. Oh God, his body.
I needed this time alone to calm myself.
Shit, my contacts.
I looked around to see a wastepaper basket next to Edward's guitar. I sat up and pinched each contact out; glad they were disposable. I popped them in a Kleenex and pitched it in the basket.
I closed my eyes.
OK, calm. I need to just enjoy this experience. No regrets and no falling for the male model man-whore.
I stood at the fridge, holding the glass under the icemaker.
Fuck! Her body, the way she guided my hand to help her to cum when we were in the bath.
Fuck I want her, I want her to be mine, and no one else can have her!
I didn't even care if Jasper wanted to kick the shit out of me for popping his half-sister's cherry. I knew he would. But fuck, he could do whatever he wanted to me, I would fight for her. No one was going to be able to stop me from loving her everyday.
Fuck! Every day just doesn't seem to be long enough?
I should tell her, make it clear that she is the one for me, and that I don't want to be with anyone else, ever. My head was clouded with images of Bella in a white lace dress, then pregnant with our child. Oh FUCK! The thought shocked the shit out of me.
I walked slowly back to the bedroom, oblivious of the time I'd taken to get her water and freak myself out with mental visions of our future. I must have taken longer than I thought because Bella was asleep, her mouth open, her breathing constant and steady. I stared at her, the sensual curve of her body under the white sheet. Her hair was still in a loose ponytail. She was gorgeous and all mine.
I placed the glass on the bedside table, switched off the lamp and slipped between the sheets, slowly gliding my body up to hers, spooning her, my hands wrapping around her gently, slowly, trying not to wake her. She sighed, in what I hoped was contentment.
I'll tell her when she wakes. Tell her that I want her to be my...what's the right word? Girlfriend? God, that sounds lame, like High School. My lover? She may interpret that the wrong way – I don't just want her for sex. Shit. It will have to be girlfriend. Bella Whitlock, no, she said her and Jasper had the same mother, so Bella would have a different surname to Jasper.
Bella, my girlfriend, my lover. One day she'll be my fiancé, one day she'll be my wife.
I couldn't stop the shit-eating grin that spread across my face as I held her in my bed, in my home, our home.
Every fucking night I can hold her, like this, make love to her; give her anything she's ever wanted.
She was too good to be true. I squeezed her body more tightly against me, euphoric at the thought of making love to her in the morning. I drifted into blissful sleep.
I heard Bella's voice, pulling me out of my slumber. I opened my eyes.
"Beautiful...touching...so large...soft...kiss them...Edward...fingers...hands, I love...ahhh...yes...Edward love…"
She's still asleep?
I lay still as she whispered words in her sleep. Bella is dreaming about me? I slowly snuggled closer, trying not to wake her, but to unable to resist latching my arms around her, smoothing her hair from her face and whispering back.
"You're lovely, Bella," I pulled her closer. She sighed and stopped speaking.
I held Bella, mentally planning our day together.
I'll make love to her, then drive her home, see where she lives, let her get changed, take her to breakfast. Maybe I can arrange a picnic lunch from Ben's cafe and take her to my favorite spot in Central Park? Then I could take her out to a bar. No, I'll take her somewhere nice for an intimate dinner and then bring her back here, make love to her again and again, explore every inch of her perfect body.
The feel of her breathing lightly in her sleep, her warmth encased in my arms, calmed me. She is my heaven. I eventually fell back to sleep.
I felt movement and opened my eyes.
Bella was staring at me; the room was still quite dark, with the tiniest rays of light filtering through the side of the blinds.
I stared back at her, unable to speak.
It's almost morning.
I rolled towards her, my lips pressing gently against hers.
"Make love to me," she whispered.
Oh God, yes.
I was instantly hard, as I rolled her onto her back, our tongues sliding into each other's mouths. It was the hottest thing I'd ever heard any woman say. And I would, I would make love to her. Other women I'd fucked, just pleasure, no emotion. Bella was different; I wanted her to feel.
I slipped my fingers between her legs to test if she was ready.
Oh Fuck, she's more than ready.
She sucked in a quick breath when I let my fingers slide over her clit.
"Are you still sore?" I whispered in her ear.
"No, I want you; please Edward," she begged.
I couldn't deny her; I would never deny her anything.
I slid into her; a moaning sound erupted from my throat at the blissful feel of her softness. I rolled on to my side, pulling her tighter, lifting her silky thigh over my hip. I needed to be able to caress her face with my hand, touch her breasts and skin, while I slowly pushed in and out of her responsive body.
I tried to think of the words I needed to say, about how I wanted her exclusively, forever but I couldn't speak. All I could do was absorb her, through my skin, while my eyes devoured every soft curve, every contour of her; my ears processing her soft pants, and the slick sounds of our bodies merging. My hand slowly covered her ear, my fingers lightly pushing into her hair, my thumb tracing her cheek. One of Bella's arms was under my neck, the other on my chest, as her delicate fingers traced my nipple then she whimpered as her lips found mine.
I kept the pace steady as we kissed. I didn't want to rush this. It was lazy, erotic lovemaking and I wanted it to last forever.
Her soft lips were testing me, tasting, nibbling at mine.
"Edward," she said softly. Her hand left my chest and ran in a slow comb through my hair. "Can I...I mean, I want to..."
"What do you want?" I asked, trying not to increase the slow steady pace of rocking my body into hers. I knew whatever she wanted, I'd do my damnedest to provide.
"I…want-to-be-on-top," she said quickly then bit her lip. She dipped her head down shyly.
Oh fuck, yes.
I grabbed hold of her hips and slowly pulled out of her. My rock hard dick instantly wished it was back inside. I rolled onto my back as she awkwardly straddled me.
Fuck, her legs. Her glorious legs, the first part of her body I'd been fixated on, but now, she was more than just the hottest girl at Apotheke, she wasn't just 'Legs'. Bella was the woman I planned to make love to for the rest of my life.
She raised herself up on her knees, and looked down at me. I grabbed myself, pushing the tip of my dick against her clit and shamelessly grinding myself into it. Almost instantly, she was shaking. I took her hand in mine to support her as I watched.
Bella was climaxing on my dick as I pushed against her.
"Fuck!" I said after I realized what was happening. She squeezed my hand tightly for support as I continued to rub myself on her, mesmerized at seeing how her body responded. She looked at me through half-closed eyes full of lust.
I need her. I pushed my dick towards her center and thrust my hips off the bed.
Holy fuck! The resistance I felt as I pushed up and inside her was phenomenal.
Bella lowered her body slowly, I was sure I could feel her heartbeat reverberate into me.
"Edward," she groaned as she lifted herself up then gently lowered herself onto me. She wasn't pounding me, grinding on me, like most women I'd had. No, Bella was making love to me. Feeling her gently sliding up and down was more erotic than anything I could ever remember.
Then, stupidly, I looked. I looked at where we were connected; her soft, meeting my excruciatingly hard. I couldn't help but reach out for her then, bringing her hands with mine as I touched her breasts.
"You feel so good," I blurted.
I was losing it. I was going to cum faster than a seventeen year old, because Bella was tight and sensual and she looked so fucking fantastic as I watched my dick disappear inside her and touching her breasts and seeing her creamy thighs, and her hair coming loose around her face. It was all too much for me.
I pushed my hand up to her lips. "Bite me," I growled as my other hand found her clit and I started rubbing her in tight circles. Her eyes went wide as she sucked my fingers into her mouth and bit down softly.
"Bite harder!" I grunted as I pumped into her erratically. Any second it would happen, any...fucking...second. Bella bit down savagely on my fingers and sucked at the same time.
"Fuuuuck!" I slammed into her, I could feel her body clenching around me, milking me. I closed my eyes so tight I saw stars, fucking stars and I felt like I was going to pass out. What had started as slow sensual lovemaking had turned into the most erotic, emotionally and physically draining fuck of my life.
Bella pulled my hand out of her mouth and collapsed on my chest, panting and sighing. I held her tight then I rolled her onto her back, pulled out very slowly wrapped my arms around her. I placed my cheek between her breasts.
I couldn't speak. I didn't know how to communicate how I felt. I had no words to describe how I felt.
Love was the only word that kept shouting at me from my subconscious.
I felt her hands glide through my hair, over and over, in a soothing pattern, lulling me into a blissful euphoric sleep.
Edward eventually rolled over in his sleep, releasing me from his tight hold. I lay next to him, conflicted. I tried several times to move, to get off the bed, but I didn't want to.
He'd made love to me, slowly, softly. We'd kissed, we'd been completely in touch with each other and it was beautiful. Then I'd stupidly asked him if I could be on top.
Was it selfish of me to ask for that position, knowing I'd never get another chance?
At my request we'd gone from slow lovemaking to hard passion, and I nearly died when he asked me to bite his fingers. I was tentative, unsure then I bit him, very hard. So hard that I drew blood. I could taste the coppery sting in my mouth. I was ashamed, completely mortified that the taste of him, the feel of his hands in my mouth, had set off another orgasm, and in turn Edward had come as well, as he thrust hard up into me, his eyes, shut tight and the strain in his neck was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen.
My teeth had marked him. I'd simultaneously felt love, desire, and immense pleasure. I had given pleasure and inflicted pain on another person, and I liked it. My body responded in a way I never thought possible.
I have to leave.
I slowly rolled off the bed, trying not to wake Edward. I grabbed my clothes and shoes and tiptoed into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. My bag was still there, so I rummaged inside for my glasses. I took a pee, found a face cloth and wiped the evidence of Edward's climax from between my legs. I then started getting dressed, like an automaton, supremely desolate that I was leaving but unable to think of anything else. I purposefully opened the vanity to stare at the jumbo box of condoms, trying to firm up my resolve.
He doesn't date; he fucks different women every night. He won't want me again. He's had me, well and truly had me. I'd made him bleed, but he'd essentially done the same to me.
I looked at myself in the mirror. It looked like my skin was glowing–multiple orgasms will do that to a girl–my clothes were a crumpled mess, but my face was clean of makeup and my familiar pair of glasses and tousled hair looked exactly right.
This is me; the real Bella Swan. Unpolished and plain. The girl that Edward met last night, with the expert makeup and styled hair, that was me playing dress-ups. He wanted her, Bella in the four-inch heels and the designer clothes; she looked like she had belonged in that hip bar.
It was a false representation of who I was.
I picked up my bag and shoes. Anxiousness flooded my body as I walked back passed his bedroom door to leave. I tortured myself by standing in the doorway, watching him sleep. He was lying on his stomach, his arms under the pillow, his beautiful back, his perfect butt and strong thighs in full view, the sheet only covering the backs of his knees and his feet.
He was so beautiful, so perfectly handsome and desirable. I wanted to memorize him; I knew he would be in all my fantasies. Before I knew what I was doing my phone was in my hand. I was going to photograph him, so I could permanently remember him.
My chest constricted. I couldn't do it. It felt like the most horrific abuse of his trust.
I turned then and crept down the staircase to the front door.
Should I leave him a note? Would he do that if the situation was reversed? Did he leave the women he left after sex a thank you? No, he wouldn't do that, surely.
I rummaged in my bag. My fingers latched on to the business card from the bar, the one Alice pick-pocketed from Jasper.
I shouldn't keep it. I'll leave it here, so he knows he's safe from me. I won't stalk him or call him. In a city of this size, I would never see him again.
I placed the card on the hall table. Opened the door, and left.
I stretched and groaned, feeling fucking high and sated for the first time in years. "Hmmm, Bella," I sighed, as I reached out for her.
She wasn't there.
"Bella," I called out. She must be in the bathroom. I looked at the wing chair that I'd laid her clothes on. They were gone.
Devastation engulfed me when I raced into the bathroom and saw her bag was gone.
I sprinted downstairs, cursing myself for not dead bolting the door. Yeah, that would have been really creepy, locking her in, trapping her.
She'd gone, and she'd left the business card with all my details. That was a clear indication that she didn't want to see me again.
I let out a pitiful groan.
It's what I had done to countless women. I'd shared their bed, taken and given them pleasure and then I bailed as soon as they were sleep. Bella had just done what I had done for years. The irony made my insides shred to pieces.
I have to find her.
I got dressed and Googled Jasper Whitlock. He was a CFO for a large multinational. I saw his engagement notice; he would marry Alice Brandon in five months.
Fuck! I can't wait that long to see her.
The thought of her being with someone else, letting another man touch her, was making me frantic. I knew I would stop at nothing to make her mine, forever and exclusively mine.
Days past. The vision of her, the desire, the hunger for her burned me, relentlessly.
Obsession. I feared it, but thinking of Bella made my blood flow hot. When her bite mark on my fingers healed, I was distraught. I needed her, badly. I didn't want anyone else.
I needed to accept the rage I felt at myself, and set it free.
I called Jasper. He was happy to hear from me, told me he misplaced the card I gave him. It would take time, but I would gain his trust and get the information I needed.
Bella's surname and her address.
That morning when I got home, Meyer greeted me at the door with a meow of hunger and a forceful rub against my leg. I fed her and collapsed fully clothed on my bed, replaying everything that happened to me over and over.
Its pretty much what I did for days, days that turned into weeks.
In Edward's bedroom, time had stood still; his fingers in my mouth, in my hair, his lips gently touching me, in a wonderful sensation of burning. I burned for him. It was torture.
My work suffered.
My social life was non-existent.
The dreams were equally blissful and depressing; they couldn't live up to the real thing, the real man. On some days I thought I imagined the whole thing; hanging on his imagined words, living on his imagined breath against my neck, feeling his skin, as if he was still touching me and smelling him, his hair, and the gardenia bath oil.
I was in a perpetual state of hallucination, being in Edward's bedroom, sleeping or awake. I was there. My favorite consciousness was lying naked on his bed.
Will I always be there, in my head? Reliving every feeling, every caress?
I was trapped in a half-light, not having him, but knowing he existed. I had tasted what life could be like, a life I'd never dreamed of before I was in Edward's bedroom.
The dreams were like re-living the experience all over again. Even when I was awake and I thought I was lucid, the image of his burning eyes, caused flames to arise through my body instantly. I was in a trapped mental state, where the remembrances of his touch made my body react.
Would the fire die down soon, or would I always feel it?
My soul disappeared, and all that was left was the loss of Edward, the loss of my innocence, the memory of that one night.
Alice didn't understand. She tried to tell me that I was just fixated on him because he was my first. She said I'd get over it, over him. That it was only one night, that I should get out and meet other men.
The thought of another man's touch spun me into deep depression where I would lose my breath in anguish.
After four weeks, I couldn't take it anymore.
It was a Saturday morning. I went to his house. I stood on the sidewalk and looked up at the window of his bedroom. I didn't even know if he was home.
I left even more confused and angry with myself for being so stupid.
He doesn't think about me. He doesn't want me. He's 'a player' Jasper said and could have any woman he wanted. I would never be able to hold his interest.
Two months later – I saw him.
I was in Bryant Park after being at the library and he was standing outside the restaurant, in a business suit, carrying a briefcase. It was after three in the afternoon. The weather was getting chill. He looked breathtaking. He looked like he'd just finished a meeting. Both companions, one male, one female, also dressed too business-like for a Saturday in the park.
The gentleman shook Edward's hand and walked away, leaving Edward alone with a beautiful blond. She was immaculately dressed with soft, feminine features, and a kind smile. She was laughing at what he was saying; his smile was vibrant and alive. He looked happy.
He turned then, away from me, as they casually talked. I needed to see his face. I was desperate. I walked slowly forward, determined to get a better view while staying concealed by a group of people.
I watched him, conflicted, and jealous of this woman that was he was focusing all his attention on. The scene became blurry and I realized I was crying. Tears flowed down my cheeks.
I knew then. I knew it and it was devastating to me.
I am in love with him.
It was delusional. It was stupid and self-destructive to even admit it. But I knew it was the truth. I loved him and I didn't even know him.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was following Edward as he walked up 42nd Street.
He was like a magnet and I found myself walking way too close behind him. He was talking on his phone.
"Where?" he asked, he sounded anxious. "Please tell me the address, I have to see her. I need to see her now."
I stopped, frozen when I heard his words.
I watched in anguish as he crossed the street, my eyes followed as he stopped in front of a street vendor. My heart seemed to liquefy as I watched him buy a small posy of beautiful flowers.
He's going to see someone, a woman. Those flowers are for someone he cares about.
I watched as he hailed a cab, and it disappeared in a blur of yellow down 5th Avenue. It felt as if my heart was breaking.
I walked, and walked, in a daze. I went to the place that had always made me happy. I sat on the bench and watched the children jumping and swinging on the Alice in Wonderland Statue in Central Park.
I watched the children and I drowned in self-pity.
It was twilight before I had the coherence to see that all the children had gone home. I was alone and it was getting cold. I slowly walked to the Subway to go home.
As soon as I had her address I was buying flowers and was on my way there. It had been almost three months to the day that she'd left my house. I'd established an email relationship with Jasper; we'd even met up a couple of times for lunch, or a beer after work. He never even mentioned Bella. He didn't invite me to his wedding. He was cautious and flippant, when I spoke of anything other than our college days.
In the end, I'd hired a smarmy private investigator–Jason Jenks. His call, not more than five minutes ago had been the call I'd been waiting on for two months. Bella's address. She lived in a loft in Chelsea; she worked as a copy editor for a newspaper.
When I got to the front door of the three-story walk up I pressed on her intercom. I wasn't sure if she would want to see me again, or how she would react to me finding her.
She'll think I'm a stalker?
She wasn't home. I waited, agitated until one of her female neighbors let me in. She invited me, rather brazenly, to wait in her apartment, but I quickly declined and sat outside Bella's door.
I hadn't gone out. I hadn't slept with or even wanted to find release with a woman in that time. James gave up asking me out after four weeks of rejection. He didn't understand – he didn't want to. Even after Victoria, the girl he went home with the same night as I was with Bella, he kept on relentlessly going out, night after night. He complained that Victoria had wanted to see him again. I realized he was in fact the biggest douche there was, lip-glossed dick and all.
I berated myself for the times I had looked at women as easy lays, how I'd objectified them so openly.
Meeting Bella, had changed me completely.
I wanted her, yes. OK, so I still felt possessive and caveman if I thought of another man touching her, but I knew we could make it work. I was desperate to try. If she gave me the chance I would love her, I would be there for her and I wanted to share her life.
I sat there for hours. Bella's neighbor wouldn't get the hint; she kept asking me if I needed to use her bathroom, asking if I wanted a snack or a drink. I was polite but curt. When she finally got the message, I sat contemplating what the old Edward, pre-Bella, would have done with that woman.
I didn't deserve Bella. I knew it. She was innocent before she met me. I was a sexual predator. I would have to earn her trust. I would have to convince her that I didn't want or need anyone but her, ever.
I heard movement on the stairwell and my heart soared when I saw Bella trudging up the stairs. She looked tired, forlorn; she was staring at her feet. I scrambled to stand as she reached the top step and she saw me. Her face, ashen, her eyes were red from crying.
"Bella!" I stepped purposefully towards her and she held her arm out in warning for me not to proceed. She looked so confused. She blinked a few times as if I was an illusion.
"You're here?" her voice was hoarse.
"Yes, I've been trying to find you. I need to talk to you." I bent down and retrieved my suit jacket and the wilted flowers. "These are for you." I smiled, and stepped closer.
She took the flowers from me, I watched, captivated, as she closed her eyes and with both hands she brought the flowers under her nose and breathed in deeply.
She looked to me, and a beautiful smile spread across her face.
"Edward. My love," she whispered.
A/N: …and they lived happily ever after lol
I hope you enjoyed it…reviews are like a virtual posy of flowers in my inbox…