Summary: What happens if we put together a female whip-smart big time company worker posing as a man, a fiery blackmailing secretary, a handsome co-worker who's madly in love with this whip-smart "supposed" twin sister and an admirer who happens to be the company president's daughter? A story with no plot at all, just wacky instances that wouldn't happen in real life. Now who said work has to be boring.

AU


Kono Kureijii na Konran!

-Prologue-


For three whole years, I've been keeping a really dark secret, if found, could ruin my whole life. For three whole years, I had gained exceptional skills and tricks needed to keep this secret perfectly hidden. For three whole years, I had been living a life full of nothing but a lie. And for another whole year, I have to keep living this lie and make sure to keep this secret still unnoticed.

"Are we all set on this?"

With nothing but eagerness and determination in their eyes, everybody nodded in unison. I decided to turn my gaze away and dropped it down on the notes presented.

I knew she would see right through me because with less than a couple seconds, I heard my name called out in the open "Are there any problems?"

I studied the graphs at hand, brows creased, "If they wish to maintain a 30-percent debt level, an additional 20-percent should be borrowed, matching the increase in equity. This in turn would raise the funding potential for reinvestment to a 50-percent."

Her eyes squinted as she returned the same cocky smile back at me "Then there would be an 8-percent dropped on ROA."

"Yes," I turned the chair fully facing her and smiled knowingly. "However there would be a boost of 16-percent on ROE."

Kanzaki examined me for another couple of seconds before cocking her brow up. I widened my grin and stared directly into her eyes. She sighed, smiling before the members around, she asked straightforwardly, "Then we all agree to him?"

Again, with the same amount of determination, everyone nodded in agreement. And with Kanzaki's lead, she then dismissed everyone.

One by one, the board members approached and praised me for my bold and confident statement. I kept the congratulatory part quick and simple, by nodding my head as I made my way out of the conference room.

"You always find a way to oppose, don't you?" Kanzaki uttered as she walked beside me.

I chuckled, replying "It's simply finding a better way."

"I thought you'd loosen a little on me, being who I am."

"I'm not very considerate." I answered directly.

"You do know I could report you to my father."

I laughed, shaking my head, "Shachou, wouldn't even consider that."

"You're that arrogant, huh?"

I looked at her and shook my head in response, "Nope." Then with a cocky grin, I replied, "I'm that confident."

Kanzaki giggled, continuing her earnest desire to walk beside me. Tucking her brunette locks behind her ears, Kanzaki then asked out of the blue "So are we still on for lunch?"

I stopped, just a few meters away from my office and responded "I guess. But I do have to interview someone."

"Oh, that's right. You have a new applicant for a secretary? How many have you turned down?"

"She's coming in today. It'll be my 6th applicant in a week."

"You're very picky aren't you?" She asked, teasingly.

"I'm not." I waved. "I was just so used to my former secretary that I tend to compare them to her."

"Retirement sucks, huh?" She kidded.

I dismissively waved a hand, and turned my back against her. "I'll meet you after then."

"I'll just drop by your office, how's that?"

"Sounds good to me."


Three minutes had passed since I took my sit in front of him. All I could see was his shiny golden locks as he carefully and critically examine my resume before me. And every time I hear him sigh or smirk, I could feel myself sweat a little more and more. With another couple of seconds, he finally looked up, his judging teal eyes staring directly at mine.

"Kaioh Michiru, right?"

"Yes." I replied politely with a smile.

"You have very impressive recommendations." He nodded, taking note of it. "So you graduated from W University?"

"Yes. I took my major there and graduated top of my batch." I responded, keeping my smile up.

"Well everyone could at that Party college." I heard him say in a silent but audible whisper.

I opted to respond with a quick "Excuse me?"

"Nothing. Nothing." He waved his hand as he cleared his throat. I decided to leave it be and just sit on the chair as proper and confident as possible. He looked at me once again, then sighed, handing my resume back at me. "I'm sorry Ms. Kaioh, but I'm afraid I cannot hire you."

"This may sound overly confident, but I believe I'm qualified enough for this position." I reasoned out, taking my stand.

"Yes, yes you are." He immediately agreed but then added, "You are just not what I'm looking for."

I could see right through him- right through that pretentious face. Behind that deceiving smile is that arrogant smirk, laughing at me- laughing at my credentials. But no matter how much I want to wipe that fake cocky grin off his face, I still had to maintain my composure. Because, I do badly needed this job.

"Please sir, do reconsider."

"I'm sorry but I already made up my mind."

"I need this job." I begged, adding, "I have two people in need of my support and the only way I could give that is to get this job."

"Do you know how many people who are as good as you fighting for this job?" He asked, as he walked out of his table.

"Excuse me?"

"Every year, 100,000 newly graduates are looking for jobs, add it to the 1 million people who are still looking for jobs that makes it 1.1 million. If we take at least 30% of it that's qualified as you that makes it what?"

"330 thousand people." I answered.

"Yes. And if we at least take 1% of it who have the same opportunity as you do have now then that makes it 3.3 thousand people."

"What's your point?" I asked curiously.

"That makes it 3.3 thousand unhappy people who lost their chance to have a job because I hired you out of pity."

I tried to speak up but she raced me to it.

"930 yen an hour multiply that to 8 hours a day for 6 days a week to 49 weeks a year. That's about what, 2.2 million yen a year." he told me, adding, "You're asking me to waste almost 2.2 million yen on you because you have two people to look after?" smirking as he shook his head. "You may have people to support but that doesn't make you more qualified than others."

"I'm not asking you to sympathize with me I'm just asking you to reconsider." I argued, yet maintaining the politeness of my voice.

"Shall we go?" A woman suddenly walked in. She looked at me then back at him. "I'm sorry. I thought you we're already done."

He looked at her and smiled "Yes, we are done."

"I am-…" I tried to stop him but as soon as he peered over his shoulder, with his dark teal eyes looking directly at me, he then spoke assertively, "We are done here, Ms. Kaioh."

I felt my composure reaching its limit. But instead of giving in, I forced a smile out and left, repeating over and over to myself that he'll soon pay for this- that this arrogant human being will have his karma very soon.


I was in the middle of enjoying my lunch when this foolish waiter suddenly bumped into a table and splashed a pitcher of coke all over me. Kanzaki tried to help by wiping it with a cloth which normally what should be done but I had to pull away which is what I exactly should do in my case. Now, I'm just hurriedly making my way back to the office to get this clothes dried up at once. And did I mention I just left the president's daughter by herself?

I would definitely be hearing a lot from her tomorrow.

Once there, I quickly made my way inside the office, locked the door and headed to the bathroom. I quickly removed my coat then my polo and washed it all off. After hanging both clothes up, I decided to rest in my office and wait for it to dry. But as soon as I opened the bathroom door, I suddenly had come face to face with a familiar being. She froze at the same instance that I did. I stared at her, terrifiedly, as those bulging blue eyes examined me from head to chest.

For three whole years, I've been keeping a really dark secret, if found, could ruin my whole life. For three whole years, I had gained exceptional skills and tricks needed to keep this secret perfectly hidden. For three whole years, I had been living a life full of nothing but a lie. And for another whole year, I have to keep living this lie and make sure to keep this secret still unnoticed.

That is what I originally had planned…

But as soon as that mouth of hers opened, I knew this year wouldn't be the same again. And with her blue eyes still glued onto my wrapped up chest, she managed to spoke coherently out,

"You're… a woman?"


Prologue so nothing is special... lol

I started another story to get my mind off from all the serious ones I've been writing. This fic will serve as my scape-goat. lol

Mainly humor, romance will exist, and do remember that nothing should be taken too seriously. Hilarity will ensue each and every single day in this office as Haruka tries her very best to dodge all the instances where her secret might be revealed and the situations her secretary intentionally puts her into. lol

"Kono Kureijii na Konran!" means "This Crazy Mess!" Haruka Tenou Distant Sky King corrected me. THANKS!

regarding the ROE and ROA, go along with it. I don't have any clue what I'm talking about. I just placed numbers

I deleted several stories of mine since I don't plan on updating them anytime soon. I'm almost done with the original finale for The Letter(for some reason, I recently started working on it again.)