Author's Note: I actually read this series a few years ago, and read the last couple last year. I'd like to see more FanFiction for Max Remy, because I reckon she's an awesome character, so this is me promoting! Enjoy :D

Max Remy eyed the food on the table nervously. It wasn't that she was frightened of the food. It was more to do with the fact that every time she ever touched food… it just seemed to fling itself at her. No, she never dropped it on herself. Food - particularly food that was slimy, bad smelling, and staining – just always seemed to find its way onto her lap. Occasionally it would hit her t-shirt before landing on her lap, but you get the general idea.

Linden was beside her, and as always, he was eating everything in sight. Max sighed, relaxing against the back of the chair. Well, at least nothing would go to waste. Linden was eating enough for the both of them.


Before she could comprehend what exactly was happening, Max had found her way to the floor. Apparently adults did know what they were talking about when they told you not to swing on chairs. Max glared at Linden, who was grinning widely down at her. She crossed her arms in an attempt to look dignified as she noted her position – sprawled across the carpet with her legs tangled up in a chair.

Linden had learnt long ago not to bother offering his assistance, and he instead began working on eating an apricot danish, sinking his teeth into the pastry happily. It was a few moments later, upon realizing that Max still hadn't gotten up, when he tore his gaze away, and rested his sights on the girl in front on him.

He hesitated before speaking. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Max huffed, placing both her hands firmly on the ground before pushing herself up. "Have you noticed the way that everything in this room hates me? The food always flies at me, and the furniture collapses on me."

Linden raised his eyebrows at her comment, but didn't bother to retaliate. It was best to let her believe what she wanted. Of course, he knew that the food didn't fly at her. Sometimes he wished food would fly at him, but he was fairly certain Max had never been the victim of such thing. As for the furniture, well, it had never collapsed on him, had it? He could see little reason for the furniture to purposely fall over, and couldn't actually see how on earth that was even possible.

"Danish?" Linden offered, holding out the plate towards his friend. Max didn't reply, only shaking her head as she placed the chair back into its original position and flopped down onto it. She lifted her hand to decline his offer, which he shrugged off.

"This dining room!" Max gestured wildly with her hands, getting more annoyed by the second. "It must be wired or something. There's no other explanation for it."

In all honestly, Linden could think of another possibility. In fact, he could think of a very likely possibility, but there was no way that he was going to suggest that she was clumsy. Only an idiot – maybe Toby – would do that.

"I think Ben would have told us," Linden mumbled through a mouthful of food. "If the place was wired."

"Oh, all right," she snapped. She wasn't in a good mood after her fall. Then again, she never did seem to be after one of her trips or accidents. "The room isn't wired. But can you think of anything?"

"You mean, a reason why you always have…" Linden trailed off, trying to think of a good word to use. "Accidents here?"

"Yes. Can you?"

A knocking at the door saved Linden just in time, and he leapt from his seat, eager to get away with not having to answer the question. If he did answer, he was afraid that she'd hit him, or something just as bad. He could have groaned out loud when he saw who was at the door though. Toby. Trust him to have terrible timing. He always seemed to turn up when Max was in bad moods, and he always provoked her. It was practically his favourite pastime.

"Hey Toby," Linden forced himself to sound cheery. He lowered his voice, making sure that there was no way Max could hear him from the dining room. "Max isn't happy."

Toby's grin widened cockily as he heard that last part. "I'll go make her day better then."

Linden sighed. He was in for a long afternoon. He closed his eyes, shut the door, and walked back into the dining room. He wasn't surprised to see Max's face with an annoyed frown, and Toby's eyes lighting up with mischief as he talked.

"I thought you'd be pleased to see me!" Toby sung loudly, mocking her. "I came just for you, Max," he cooed.

"Pleased?" Max growled in return. "I'd rather swim with sharks. Hungry sharks. That haven't eaten for days."

"I knew it! I knew you were happy to see me," he winked in Linden's direction before continuing. "Linden said you were an emotional wreck without me."

"He… what?" Max turned to face Linden, her eyes burning with fury.

Linden raised his hands, feigning surrender. "He's joking, Max."

She hissed through her teeth, enraged. If there was anything she hated, it was when people mocked her. It made her furious. Catching sight of Linden's pleading gaze, Max breathed in and out, focusing her thoughts more clearly. Toby was idiot. He wasn't worth it. No need to get upset.

"Can we just figure out what's wrong with this room?" Max asked stiffly. "I'd like to live for a few years, you know."

"What's that got to do with it?" Toby glanced at Linden, who shrugged in reply.

"This room," she declared heatedly. "Is trying to kill me."

Toby gave a loud laugh at this, whilst Linden chuckled quietly into hand.

"Trying to kill you?" Toby spluttered, choking through his laughter.

"Yes," Max frowned. "Food throwing, furniture breaking, that sort of thing."

"Did it ever occur to you that it might just be because you are…"

Linden's eyes widened, as he comprehended what Toby was about to say. He never had been the religious type, but he couldn't help but to shoot several prayers up to the heavens. Please don't let him call her –

"… A klutz?" Toby finished grandly.


"A what?" Max yelled. "I," she stood, prodding her finger into his chest as she spoke. "Am not clumsy."

"Really?" Toby smirked.

"Yes. I am not a klutz," she snarled. "I'm going to the bathroo – ow!"

Toby rolled his eyes as he watched Max hop from foot to foot, clutching her foot. She hadn't stubbed it so badly that it had bleed, thank goodness, but still, she didn't look pleased. The whole scene was actually rather comical, and Toby snorted as he tried to control the laughter bubbling from his lips.

"Shut up," Max glared at him as she leaned against the wall, biting her lip in a grimace. "That was not clumsiness. That was the room."

"Whatever you say, Max," the two boys chorused. "Whatever you say."