Greetings, all! I liked the angle I was taking from Maureen's survey in "And You See Them Where in 10 Years?" so I decided to let her review RENT. Depending on how well this goes I might write ones for – other characters, but, for now, it's just her. So, here it goes.

Okay, so my ex-pookie Mark, asked me to review this new show on Broadway called LEASE. (AN Yes, I realize the parody was titled that, but just bear with me). So, I brought my current pookie, Joanne, along with me to watch. Anyways, I found it kind of strange, you know, two guys living in an industrial loft together? Really? Like, when has that ever happened? And they NEVER talk! I'm going to give you my opinion on every song there is.


Opening Monologue

I know it's not a song but, it still counts. I thought that telling the entire audience how sucky your life is was a pretty weird way to start the show. Especially with the line, "My name is Markus and my roommate's name is Ronald…".

Ronald Turns the Little Knobby Thing-ys on His Guitar 1

Eh… It was okay, but a little short. You see Markus is this film-maker guy who films his friends all the time so he says to Ronald, "Are you ready? Hold that focus steady! Tell the folks at home what you're doing Ronald!" I would to date a guy who films stuff… any-who, Ronald needs to stop lingering on his girlfriend May's death. It's a little morbid.

Creepy People Talk on the Phone 1

Markus' mom scares the shit out of me. Honestly I don't understand the lyrics either. She mentions this Noreen chick and (AN Did you guys know that Maureen means "Uncertain, maybe bitter"?) she seems like a total bitch!

Roger Turns the Little Knobby Thing-ys on His Guitar 2 +Lease

Ah, the title song and eh... They introduces these 3 new characters, Joanna, Benji and Carter. Joanna is such a nagger! Well, in the 2nd song, everyone has noticed that the lights have blown and they all need to pay for the lease of their loft. All the characters dance around like psycho-paths by jumping and banging their heads around.

Are You Alright, Baby?

Now, this song I liked! There's another character named Angelica who meets Carter and they are such a cute couple! When Angelica introduces her (or him, he's a cross-dresser) self, Carter says "Angelic, indeed!" Ha ha! Punny!

Ronald Turns the Little Knobby Thing-ys on His Guitar 3

I was truly getting tired of these! There's almost as many of these as there are "Creepy People Talk on the Phone"s. And in all of them, Ronald plays Nuesella's Waltz. GAH!

I Wanna I Write a Song that Doesn't Suck Before I Die

I don't get why Ronald didn't think the song he was currently singing was a good song. I think it'd make a good theme song for Roger. I think the actor who plays him is cute, what's his name again?

Let Me Borrow a Battery for My Flashlight

There's another new character in this song, Lulu. The scenario there somewhat reminds me of how Mimi and Roger met. Lulu works at the Dog Bite Club, what a stupid name! I bet Mimi's gonna be angry when she hears that Lulu has the best ass below 14th street…

That's all you're getting today folks. I'll have more up tomorrow. So please review and thank you for reading!