A/N: I wrote this, and it's kinda sad, more then a little sad, it's depressing, but oh well. I didn't put what killed Rachel in this, mostly because I couldn't get it in and have the same emotional feel to it, but each thing Rachel says is over the course of her disease, just saying.
Disclaimer: If I did own Glee, this would not happen, because it would suck and I might stop watching the show.
She was thirty two. Not to young, but young enough to make this that much harder. She couldn't go, she swore she wouldn't leave me, she promises back in college. She promised to never leave me like everyone else did, but she is.
Rachel Berry was dying and leaving me all alone.
"You'll find someone else." She said at first. It led to a huge argument in which Rachel confessed she really didn't want me to find another person to love, but it would make her feel better to know me and the kids would have someone to be there for them.
"You have the children." Was her second attempt at making me feel better. It didn't work. I mean, sure I have Haley, my daughter with Puck, who had a Rachel like attitude, and I have mine and Rachel's sons, Koby and Neil, who had dark Rachel hair and hazel eyes from our donor that looked much like my own. But they weren't her. I feel like a horrible mother for saying that, but it's true, I don't think I could function without her. She was my everything, as cliché as that sounds.
"You'll have Glee." She was hardly breathing as she whispered these words softly to me. I was sobbing, telling her that they wouldn't hold me when I had a bad day. They wouldn't tell me about new musicals that were going to suck. They wouldn't know when I call on my way home that my day would end so much better if I had bubble bath and run it for me. They couldn't be her.
"Love you babe." It was mumbled, yet I heard it clearer than day. It brought a new wave of tears. It sounded so absolute, so final. I could see her fighting, fighting the cold feeling coming over her body and it killed me inside to know she was waiting for me to return her sentiment so she could die in any peace so could find. I almost didn't say it, I was so angry, but the thought left me quickly, I couldn't let her die without knowing, one last time, that I loved her.
I leaned forward and felt my lips brush against her cold ones.
"I love you too Rach. So freaking much." A faint smile swept across her face and all too soon, a long, drawn out beep filled the room. Sobs vibrated through out my body. Strong arms wrapped around me and I was sure it was Rachel's Papa. I cried so hard and so were the other two people in the room as the doctor sadly shut off the heart monitor.
Hours later, everyone sat at Rachel's dads' house. Puck sat on the floor with his girlfriend of three years. Santana and Brittany were huddled in the corner of the room, Santana holding a crying Brittany. Kurt sat on Mike's lap, who came out years ago after an unexpected hook up at the five year high school reunion. Mercedes and Matt comforted each other, holding the other very close. Tina, much like Kurt, was sitting in Artie's lap, her head under his chin, something Rachel did with me almost every night when we went to bed. Finn paced back and forth, the only other movement in the still room.
Suddenly the front door swung open and multiple children piled in with Kevin, Papa, and Joey, Daddy, in tow. Carlos, a boy of only three ran over to his mothers and told them excitedly about his day. Brittany burst into tears once again. Santana only hugged her wife and son. Shania smashed in between Matt and Mercedes and the ten year old picked up the mood and watched her parents nervously. Sixteen year old Haley, seven year old Koby and five year old Neil looked around at everyone and Haley paled.
"She's…I mean, Mama's gone?" She asked her voice thick with emotion as she stared at me, her only mother and I only nodded solemnly. A single tear fell down her face and she ran into my open arms. Koby sort of got it and ran up stairs into his mother's old room. Neil stood there, looking hopelessly confused; his hazel eyes watched the people in the room.
"Mommie? Where is Mama?" His small child's voice broke many people from their own bubbles. I opened another arm and Neil slowly walked into it.
"Mama's not coming home Neil." He watched me strangely, tilting his head in a way that reminded me so much of Rachel.
"How come? Doesn't she love us anymore?" It broke my heart.
"Of course she loves us, and I don't want you to ever forget it. Do you remember how Mama got really sick? And she had to go to the hospital?" He nodded, watching me carefully. "Well, she went to see the angels-"
"Why did they take her away?"
"They…They and God needed her." He pulled away, anger in his eyes looking much like Rachel did back in high school when someone got the solo she wanted.
"We needed her Mommie! God is stupid! He didn't need Mama, we needed her! We…" Neil stopped and took off after his brother. Tears cascaded down my face as I thought how right he was. We did need Rachel more than He did. And now the world just didn't shine the same way, not without Rachel Berry, Broadway Star.
And though I lived on, part of me died with my wife.
A/N: I couldn't find a way to end this, so it's ended cornyly, my bad *blushes*. I'm glad you read this, thank you!