AN: What is this? I don't know. No. Seriously. I have no idea what this is. It's just a short spin off of the Lila Bray 'verse that I just sort of sat down and wrote today. I say spin off because the original Lila Bray 'verse was 'a ghost of you is all that i have left.' But then again, Lila Bray has popped up in so many other stories that I suppose there is no real, cemented 'verse. Also, I have to warn you that there are so many references in this story that it's not even funny. I lie. It makes me laugh. There is also an implied crossover.

Another warning? If you've never read any of my Lila Bray stories this won't make a lick of sense.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.


a million little stars spelling out your name

Written by Becks Rylynn


/iii/

i would travel so far to get back to where you are

(Lila Bray 'verse)


six on the second hand till new year's resolutions
and there's just no question what this man should do
take all the time lost, all the days that i cost
take what i took and give it back to you
-onerepublic; all this time


She finds him in a dirty little bar in Milwaukee a week after Sam takes the swan dive. He's drunk enough to think that the word Milwaukee is funny, but not drunk enough to fuck anything that moves. Which has been his preference for this past week. When she sidles up to him and takes a seat next to him, ordering a drink in that soft, raspy voice he's been deprived of for a very long time, he's not even a little bit surprised. Isn't that the way these things always go? Isn't that how this started two and a half years ago?

''Hello, Dean,'' she greets, reaching forwards to place a hand on his arm.

He scowls and jerks his arm out of her reach because he's not in the mood for fake pleasantries that don't mean a thing. ''Fuck off, Ruby.''

The expression on her face grows sour and she glowers at him through her eyelashes. ''Really, Dean? That's the way we're going to play this? We haven't seen each other in over a year and fuck off is how you greet me?''

''Where have you been?''

She lifts one shoulder in a shrug and smiles at the bartender when he places a drink in front of her. ''Here, there, everywhere. We have been traveling.'' The smile stays firmly on her lips as she brings the glass to her lips, peering at him over the rim of the dirty glass. ''If I were you,'' she drawls lazily. ''I wouldn't get so pissy. You're the one who sent us away, remember?''

''It was for your own good,'' he says stiffly, looking her up and down before ordering another drink. He meets her eyes briefly, lips drawn into a tight line. She almost seems startled by the eye contact, drawing her body away from his and hiding her face behind a curtain of blond hair. ''You look good,'' he finally says, snatching his new drink from the bar.

''Well,'' she smirks. ''At least one of us does. Because you, honey, look like shit.''

''Don't call me that.''

''You look old and battle weary.''

''War tends to do that to people.''

''Don't worry, soldier. I'd still fuck you.''

''Thanks,'' he mutters dryly.

A frown etches its way onto her lips and he thinks for a second that he might actually see real concern hiding away in those blue irises of hers. She leans closer; he holds his breath. Her blond hair tickles his shoulder and her fingers graze his. When her lithe fingers hook around his, he can't help but think they've been here before. A long time ago. Before Hell and before everything got so completely and utterly fucked. When it was just Dean, Sam and the beautiful demoness who fucked Dean into forgetting his fear. (He doesn't want to admit it, but he's pretty sure he had been falling for her.) ''I heard about Sam,'' she whispers. ''I'm sorry.''

His throat begins to close up. He takes another drink and sighs when it doesn't take the edge off like it's supposed to do. ''I don't want to talk about Sam,'' he says through gritted teeth.

She huffs impatiently and pulls away from him, downing the rest of her drink. ''Fine. We'll talk about me. You know how much I greatly enjoy talking about myself.''

For about a fraction of a second, his lips quirk into a half smile.

''She likes to travel. I don't. She thinks it's exciting. I think it's tiring. But what she really wants is a home and you. Like I said, after you found out about us and sent us away for our safety, we traveled. We went to Paris for awhile, but since I don't have access to a money tree, we left. We spent some time on a small, secluded island off the coast of Seattle, but I thought it had a weird vibe so we left. Next was LA. The damn sun shined every fucking day and neither of us enjoyed that. Then there was a small town in Ohio which we had to leave pretty quickly after I took out a spirit who either thought he was Freddy Kruger or was just a really, really messed up dude. From there we went to New York. She loved New York, but hated the people. I didn't blame her. The young rich bitches who didn't know their left from their right and their weak, sycophantic boyfriends got on my nerves. After that, there was a wacky little town in Virginia where I got involved with a guy who reminded me of you. Hard on the outside - ''

''Dirty.''

'' - Soft on the inside. He was great with her and he definitely knew his way around me in bed. But he had secrets. I don't like secrets. Plus, he wasn't who I wanted and I wasn't who he wanted so we parted ways. Also, my first priority always has to be her and that town had a weird amount of animal attacks. I thought I was in Twilight there for awhile.''

He takes a breath and turns to look at her. ''And then?''

''Isn't it obvious?'' She smiles and shakes her head, laughter hiding in her voice. He thinks that sounds familiar too. ''And then I decided to come back to you. Isn't that how it's supposed to end?''

He swallows.

He's pretty sure he's heard this song before. She's like a star. She burns bright and hot. She's beautiful to look at, but always too far away to touch. And now she's sitting right next to him and all it took was the world nearly ending. ''You know what would have been nice?'' He asks hoarsely. ''A call every once and awhile. Pictures of her. Some kind of contact. I said what I said because I wanted you both to be safe. I needed you to be safe. But that's...She's...''

''I know.'' Her smile grows shaky and sad. ''I know why you did it. When you found out that bitch had been playing you for a year and you tracked me down and found out about her, you told me to leave and never come back to keep her safe. I moved her around, never stayed in one place for more than a few months and stayed away from you to keep her safe. We did it all for her, Dean. Although,'' she laughs to cut the tension, arching a perfect eyebrow and sending him a smirk. ''I do wish your wording had been better. I get you were terrified she would get hurt and I know break ups can be rough but your whole speech was a little extreme, don't you think?''

''Breaking up kinda requires you to be in a relationship first. Which we weren't.''

''We were before you died.''

''That wasn't really a relationship.''

''If we were never in a relationship then why did you give me this the last time you saw me?'' She plucks something from her pocket and tosses it onto the grimy bar top.

He eyes the silver ring for a moment with pursed lips and then he sighs and looks away from it. ''It wasn't for you. It was for her.''

''We had a kid together, Dean. At some point in time, we were in a relationship.'' When he opens his mouth to protest once again, she leans impossibly close and locks eyes with him, holding his gaze like only she can. ''If we were never in a relationship, tell me you weren't falling in love with me.''

Since he's too drunk to lie, he takes another swig of bitter alcohol and snatches the ring off the bar. ''Why do you even care?''

She averts her eyes and plays with her empty glass. ''Because,'' she says softly. ''I was falling in love with you.''

He looks over at her sharply, unsure of what he's supposed to do with that statement.

She shakes it off; still smiling like it's not a revelation or something surprising. Like it's something that should just be common knowledge. ''Let's face it, short bus. We're mismatched and volatile, but you're the only one I see and I know you have a picture of us - your little secret family - in your wallet and we made the most amazing little girl together.'' She shrugs and her hand comes to rest on his knee. ''We're how it ends, babe.''

He hesitates. ''How is Lila Bray?'' He asks after a moment goes by.

He watches her eyes light up for a brief second at the sound of her daughter's name before she recovers and clears her throat. ''She's good. I left her with Bobby for a few days while I tracked you down. She's been...She's been asking about her dad lately.'' She pauses and allows a fake laugh to escape her lips. It gets caught in her throat somewhere and the equally fake smile slips off her lips. ''Actually, if I'm being honest she's been asking about you since she could talk.''

''And...what do you tell her?''

''I tell her.'' She looks down, lips turned downwards in a frown. ''I tell her that her dad loves her very much, but he can't be with us. I tell her that it's not time for him to be with us.''

His chest tightens.

''She doesn't know you,'' she admits quietly, almost regretfully. ''But she knows that she loves you. She wants you in her life. I want you in her life.'' She takes the drink from his hand, grasps his hands tightly and meets his eyes, looking like a woman on a mission. ''So what's it gonna be, soldier? Is it time to be with us?''

He looks at her for a long time before he reacts on gut instinct. He disentangles his hands from hers, brushes his fingers across her cheek and leans in to kiss her on the lips softly. She kisses back with fervor, fingers reaching out to clutch at his shirt. She still tastes the same as she did back then and her skin still feels like home under his fingertips. He pulls away eventually, resting his forehead on hers. ''All those places you've been...'' he rasps out. ''...Which one did she like the best?''

She looks up at him with hopeful eyes. ''Virginia,'' she says. ''She liked Virginia. Maybe not that exact same town, but...Virginia's a nice place to raise a little girl like her.''

He stands, looks away from her briefly and then looks at the ring in the palm of his hand. The world won't end and Sam won't come home, but he's got a daughter he wants to know and a woman he dreams about when he closes his eyes at night. It's not enough to fill the hole Sam left behind. But it's a start.

He offers her a smirk that he hasn't worn in ages and throws the ring right back at her, holding out his hand for her to take. ''Then let's go to Virginia, Ruby.''

all this time we were waiting for each other
all this time i was waiting for you
we got all these words, can't waste them on another
so i'm straight in a straight line running back to you
-onerepublic; all this time

end


AN: Not much. But I thought it was cute.

So the implied crossover was with The Vampire Diaries and the references came in when Ruby was talking about where she and Bray had traveled. Every place she mentioned had something to do with a movie or TV show Katie has been on since being on Supernatural. And now I like the idea of her and Bray traveling the world so much that I am literally fighting myself trying not to write it.