Chapter 5 – All Those Times I Could Have Said

Her expression is soft but a frown flitters across her face in confusion. "No, I didn't and I still don' do you feel about me? 'Cos that's my whole point; those photos, they show a completely different side to the story. They show two people who are clearly in love with each other. Which is wrong."

He's looks at her intently. "Is it?"

"Yeah," she pauses, confused at his question, and by the look in his eyes. "Isn't it?"

He chuckles quietly. She really doesn't get it, does she? She still can't see it. Blimey. Everyone else does. She must be blind.

He leans closer to her. "A thousand hugs, a thousand smiles, you said. And like I said, a thousand missed opportunities. A thousand times I could have kissed you, but most of all, a thousand times I could have told you that...weeelll...that I love you," he whispers, and then he presses his lips to hers once more, before she can reply.

Her eyes widen and her mouth opens in shock and the Doctor does not miss this opportunity. He slips his tongue inside her mouth. After a moment of complete paralysis on her part, Rose begins to respond, and all of a sudden this kiss is nothing like the first. It's not so tender and it's certainly not feather-light. It's passionate and lustful and completely, brilliantly mind-blowing. She removes her leg from between his and he grabs her under the knee to bring it up to his hip. Their tongues dance together as she rolls him onto his back, her knees either side of his hips. She winds her arms around his neck, her hands going into his hair, dishevelling it even more than it already is, pressing her body into him as she leans down. His hands slip down her back, one sliding beneath the hem of her top, the other resting underneath her right thigh, and she shivers.

Oh my god is this really happening? it can't be I must be dreaming but oh god I've never had a dream that feels this real's so brilliant...I love this I want this to go on forever oh my god I love him...he's kissing me the Doctor's kissing me he's really kissing me we're kissing. We. Are. Kissing. This is this real? It feels so's lovely oh god it's so lovely....oh wait a sec...something's odd...I forgot...wait, what did he just say...just now did he say...? He can't have meant that...did he...?

"Wh - what was that?" she asks breathlessly, pulling away for air, but not removing herself from lying on top of him.

"That, Rose Tyler, was what I believe to be the snog of your life!" he pronounces joyfully, rolling her over so that he's on top, his hand on her hip dragging her closer to his body. "It certainly was mine!" he adds, before leaning down and pressing his lips back to hers. She unconsciously opens her legs and wraps them around his waist and she swears she hears the Doctor groan softly into her mouth, but that could just be her imagination. She's still partially convinced she's dreaming all of this.

"No, I meant...oh..." she begins unsuccessfully, as he presses kisses at her ear, down her jaw line, to her neck. She takes a few deep breaths, and swallows nervously. "I meant: what was that you said? Before you tried to – oh god - distract me with 'the snog of my life?'" she finally manages to say, smiling widely despite her apprehension.

He ignores her question, instead preferring to keep kissing his way across her collar bone. He briefly thinks he shouldn't be doing this. It's against the rules, and they are just friends and friends don't do this and they're just friends...

Except we aren't, are we? No. We're so much more than that. Anyone and everyone can see it. Which is why I had to tell her and why I am positively, practically being compelled to do this by the nature of fate and the forces of the universe and she's probably supposed to be doing this 'cos it's in her horoscope or something etc etc...yeah all the stuff I don't usually believe in...but this has to be what's meant to happen because it feels so damn good and I can't not kiss her anymore and I can't not touch her anymore and I can't not make love to her...I can't and I won't not break the rules...

"Doctor?" she persists, though it comes out sounding more like a moan when he trails kisses back up to her ear and bites it softly. She reaches out for his hand that's pressing into the mattress by her hip, intertwining their fingers. He pauses his movements and looks down at their joined hands as if he's never seen them before.

"Rose..." he begins, and he's astounded to hear himself sound so hoarse with desire. He clears his throat meaningfully and tries again. "Rose. You heard what I said. All those times, shown in all those photos - " he pauses, looking over his shoulder briefly, and smiles mischievously back at her. " – which are now all over the floor, by the way. Anyway, I've never told you, because it's too hard, because one day you'll leave...but you know what? I'm tired of resisting. You're just impossible to resist anymore," he tells her, his eyes twinkling, his fingers of his free hand tracing over her lips softly.

"Really?" she asks, but she doesn't sound like she needs convincing, really, because she's already starting to pull off his tie.

"Really," he confirms, unbuttoning his shirt absently.

"No..." she stops his hands, "Let me do that," she grins mischievously. Then she stops. "Everyone could tell, couldn't they? All the time. But I never realised..." she murmurs.

"I know. Silly Rose. Blind Rose!" he exclaims, and Rose scowls at him playfully. She looks over his shoulder for a moment, then spots them, reaching behind him to grab them before he can comprehend her sudden movements.

"Maybe I need these, then?" she asks, her tongue poking between her teeth as she smiles cheekily, putting on his sexy glasses.

His eyes widen. "Wow. They, erm..." he clears his throat, "They really suit you."

"Yeah? I didn't think they'd look so good on me," she giggles.

"Good? You look better than good. I'd go as far as saying you looking rather sexy!" he exclaims with a wistful sigh.

"Awww, really? That's so sweet of you to say. Do they make me look clever, too?"

"Oh yes."

"Do you want to know a secret?" she asks him playfully.

"What's that?" he asks, his face falling a little when she takes the glasses off and puts them on him instead.

"When you wear these..." she taps the side of the glasses delicately, leaning up to him, "I have the almost uncontrollable urge to do this..."

When they finally pull apart from that particularly nice kiss, the Doctor resolves to wear his glasses more often.

"Never knew you had a thing for the glasses," he comments, peering down at her.

"Course I do," she says, shrugging a though it's obvious. "Just you, though. Not on anyone else."

"Good. Anything else I sometimes wear or do that turns you on?" he asks, affecting a serious tone of voice to hide his amusement at the entire situation. Rose blushes, and he chuckles quietly, because she keeps doing that, and it's rather lovely, but bemusing, too. Because after all this kissing and touching and almost-undressing they've been doing on her bed all this time, you wouldn't think she'd blush at him saying that. "You know. For future reference," he murmurs, tickling her ribs affectionately.

"We gonna be doing this a lot then?"she smirks.

"I assume so. If you want. What do you want?" he asks, suddenly very aware that she hasn't really told him.

"You," she says simply.

He grins. "Oh. Well then, that settles it." He nods his head purposefully. "No more missing opportunities. Lots more snogging in the future."

"Just snogging? Or...other stuff?" she says before she can stop herself. Damn it. I've got to try harder and keeping certain things to my –

"Oh, other stuff too," he smiles. Rather smoulderingly, Rose feels.

-self. Wait. What? Oh good. He does want to actually finish the undressing thing...

"Really?" she asks, and there's no way he could miss her hopeful, eager tone of voice.

"Of course. Like, running and eating and shopping and defeating aliens and visiting historical figures and sleeping and playing scrabble - "he teases, and her face visibly falls, although she knows he's just winding her up. After all, she has unbuttoned his shirt completely now, and is pushing it off of his shoulders as he speaks. " – and scuba diving and hopping and eating bananas and taking photos and watching t.v and causing trouble and mind-shattering sex..."

Rose grins, and flips him over, straddling him as she removed her t-shirt. He watches her complete and utter fascination, and wonders why he never considered doing this before.

(Well, alright. He had considered it. He did consider it. A lot. More than a lot, actually. But he assumed it would never happen, so he'd tried to ignore his...considerations. Which was hard. Very, very hard.)

But he wasn't going to ignore it anymore.

It's physically, biologically and possibly chemically impossible for me to ignore it now. Rassilon, she's beautiful, and she's mine and I love her. I love her. I love her. It feels so good to finally be able to accept that now. I love her. I love her. I love her.

"I love you," he says randomly, when she reaches to undo his trousers (though that's not the reason he says it, of course. He hadn't meant to say it, actually. He'd been thinking it. A lot. But he hadn't been about to tell her. She knew, anyway.)

She stops, looks up, beams at him, and whispers, "I know that, now."

Then, she moves up and kisses him ferociously, all her passion and love and devotion poured into it.

And thus their future begins with the most important thing on his list. Well, assuming he saved the best 'til last, anyway...

...And when both their breathing is laboured and their heart rates' are impossibly fast, and they are both on the brink of something that must be pure ecstasy, she's sure of it...

...Rose tells the Doctor she loves him too.


A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Weird to think all that rambling fluff came out of my mind from the word 'slush.' Don't know what that says about me. Anyways, thanks MentalMeander!

So everyone, please review to let me know what you think! And, if you like, you could throw some random word prompt my way and I'll attempt to create a story around it :D


Laura xxx