The "Big Mutant On Campus" Series
By David D. Amaya

Part four "The BMOC"
Chapter 4

Disclaimer: As always; the first step of the journey.

"So we finish dinner," Angelo tells Everet. "Then Ms. Frost stands up and dings on a glass with her fork, and you know I can't stand that shit!"

"Students," She said as she rose. "Now that you all have finished eating, you are all at aid in cleaning up the kitchen as well as the Recreation Room. Agent Nichols has placed ten slips of paper in this helmet. You will attend to the room it states. Moreover, seeing that he was victorious as per the parameters of the exercise, he shall determine when the tasks are completed. Please begin immediately."

The students each pulled a slip of paper, telling them which room to clean, and then left to their chores. Agent Nichols pulled Artie and Leech aside, knelt down and whispered something in their ears, which garnered a round of high-fives as the four Gen-X Girls passed by.

"Hey, Secret Agent Dude," Jubilee, inquired as the boys quickly left upstairs. "What was that all about?"

Still wearing a grin, as well as a dark pair of Ray-Bans, he turns to the quartet. "Oh, nothing of concern, Jubes. Please attend to your chores, if you please, ladies." At that time his watch alarm sounded. "Now if you will excuse me I have to make an important telephone call. I will check on your progress shortly." Then he exited the dining hall to the Biosphere.

"Yes, Mrs. Parkman, the first full day was rather successful for Cyrus. The other students have accepted him as just another new student, and he has made fast friends here… Well, Mr. Director, for his economics class, I gave an assignment to find the forms of price discrimination… Price discrimination… To put it bluntly Colonel, it is when you have to pay full price for a 12-pack of soda because you forgot your Safeway card instead of two for five dollars… No, you just need to get out of the Helicarrier more often, Colonel …

"Yes sir, Mr. President. I gave an assignment for his creative writing class as well… The assignment is for the students to introduce themselves…. His other classes, Mrs. Parkman? Well, the students participated is an exercise to determine how well they can utilize their special gifts… No, Mr. Ziegler, No one was seriously injured… Why, yes. I did participate in the exercise… No, Mr. Director, I would never do anything to harm the students here! Yes, sir, they wanted to see how successful Operation Goldbrick was….

"Mr. President, I have all ready taken several precautions in that regard. Both shipments arrived today and the students did not notice the weapons, nor that the tactical equipment was hidden with my family's jukebox. They never saw any of it. In addition, the MarkVII arrived while all the students were sitting down for lunch. They have no idea that it is here. The MarkVII is well disguised and is in an easily accessible place… Yes, sir they are completing a chore, but you may speak to him in about fifteen minuets… Of course, Mrs. Parkman, I understand completely. Please have a good evening, everyone."

Powering down his cell phone. He noted Penance had walked up to the pile of rocks he was sitting on.

"Good evening, Miss. Penance," He addressed her with a warm smile. "I trust you are having a pleasant evening?"

She just stood there wordlessly, then lowered her palm along side her body twice and pointed towards the tree house.

"I see, you are looking for Artie and Leech, Right?"

She nodded wordlessly.

"They are inside, You see, earlier this afternoon they helped me in a contest against the rest of the students, so I am giving them a treat as a reward for their assistance. Say, would you like to join us inside tonight?"

Her crimson face seemed to light up as she nodded. "It would be my pleasure," He held out his right arm, remembering Jubilee telling him to be careful of her razor-sharp skin. She carefully slipped her arm through his and they walked the short distance into the school.

"So what were you stuck with Ange?"

"I got the Rec Room with Jono, the hot Hawaiian chick, Paige, and that grande mother fucker. Paige is explaining how I swiped the flag…"

"…then Angelo's sticky fingers lifted the flag from right under Nathan's nose!" Paige tells Alea, while Nathan is turning a deep shade of red. "Then he finally turns around! You should have seen it Alea it was so priceless! Then I walk up to him and kiss him on his cheek, and then we leave!"

"Well that's Nuff for you, a gentleman even in combat," Next time, She telepathically sent him. DECK HER COUNTRY ASS! Got that Grizzly Adams! "Now lift up the couch so I can dust underneath it, Nakanaela."

The Alaskan heaved the Rec Room sofa easily, curling it to his chest. Alea knowing the extent of his natural strength, calmly and with no apparent worry of him dropping it on her, dipped under the free space and slowly dusted underneath it, then cleaned under the cushions, in the process found $1.79 in loose change. Meanwhile Paige, Jono and Angelo cleaned the tables and the rest of the Rec Room's furniture when a large gleaming whistle appeared out of nowhere.

"Artie says 'Good job!'" Leech translated. "Leech think you doing good, also!"

"Well, Well, Well," Nathan grunted still holding up the sofa. "If it isn't the Falcon and the Snowman! What do you pocket-sized intel operatives want?"

The boys, well to young to understand Nathan's movie reference, just stood there while Artie projected a large question mark.

"It's a spy movie, little angels," Alea replied climbing out from under the sofa. "Don't worry he was saying that in jest, RIGHT, NAKANAELA!"

The Alaskan winced in pain and dropped the sofa on both his feet. "Yea, whatever you say, sis." He replied as he began to rub his feet. Paige, Jono and Angelo chuckled knowing he was being mentally chastised by Alea.

What brings you two in from the tree house, mates?

Artie projected an image of the Secret Service badge. "Artie says 'We wait for the Nice Cop' Nice Cop say to wait in here."

"Para qué?"

"To see if you pass inspection, Mr. Espinosa."

Special Agent Nichols had entered the Rec Room, still wearing his dark sunglasses, but surprisingly with Penance on his right arm. Under his left was a very large blanket, which he dropped to the floor next to him.

"My first question, students, is this; Who cleaned the sofa?" Alea raised her hand. "Very well, Miss. Kaulalona, how much change was recovered?"

"Around a buck eighty."

"Not a bad haul." He surmised. "Students, I will say that I am satisfied that this room is clean. You are all dismissed to your dorms, but NO ONE may enter the kitchen nor the Rec Room for the rest of the evening. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Agent Nichols, but may I ask -"

"No, Miss. Guthrie, you may not. Remember, NO ONE may enter the kitchen nor the Rec Room for the rest of the evening. That is all. Thank you for doing a good job."

"How long were you guys at it?"

"Only like fifteen minuets, homes. Shit didn't get cleaned but that sofa! I don't know what he did next, Ev, but as we left, he headed for the kitchen."

{PwrPlnt}So, there we was. Monet, Jason, Yoink, Jubilee, and yours truly! Jay was on Rinse&Dry, you know Oz, Alea was right he does get dishpan hands! Monet and Yoink were working on the pots & pans, and Jubes was putting everything away. I was stuck on flatware **again** while I was telling everyone how Alea and me boosted their flag!

"…So, I tossed an uncharged ten of hearts at her and she goes 'HA! Forgot to charge it!' so I avail myself and we have a standoff! I drop the deck just as Alea lifts the flag, and I make a dash for it. Too bad we were swindled from the jump!"

"Mr. Parkman!" said a voice from the doorway. "Where is your grammar?"


Everyone else in the room, save Monet, laughed at the joke. Jubilee turned to face Cyrus' Secret Service bodyguard.

"Hi ya, Secret Agent Dude! I hope I didn't blind ya permanently."

"No, Jubes, I shall recover fully by morning," he stated. "But I am here to check if you are finished. Who among you cleaned the flatware?"

The President's son raised his hand. "I did."

"Very well. How many spoons have you put away?"

"Em… Er… nine?"

"Close enough, Mr. Parkman. I am satisfied that the kitchen is cleaned. You are all dismissed to your dorms, but NO ONE may enter the Rec Room nor the kitchen for the rest of the evening. Is that understood?"

"But Agent Nichols," Monet began to speak up. "we have not even-"

"Yea, One-Time, we get you!" Jason cut her off as he pushes Stewart and Cyrus out the door, while Jubilee gets Monet out into the hallway.

"Diable était-il celui au sujet de mon ami?"

"Ain't got the first damn clue," Jay replied to him. "But I'm not going to finish that shit in the morning!"

"Of course you ain't, Stitch," Jubes quipped. "You got dishpan hands all ready, you'll shrivel up like a raisin!"

{PwrPlnt}That got a round of chuckles from the gang, *except for M,* and then she asks the obvious.

"Why would Agent Nichols have us exit if we are no where near completion of our tasks?"

"Hell, girl you're the mind reader on record," Jason replied. "What do I look like, a swami?"

Well, if we wrap your head in enough toilet paper, Iakona, You'll look like Tarnac, The Mediocre!

{PwrPlnt}Being that Jubes and Yoink also laughed at the same time I did. I'm assuming Alea sent it to all 5 of us. Monet must have been born without a funny bone. Well, Jay starts to turn red, and Jubes nails him with a sucker punch!

"I used to wonder what it was like for Moms and the Fearless Leader when they were my age. Now I gots a ringside seat!"

{PwrPlnt}Me & Yoink laughed some more. Jay got pissed and flipped her off. However, that didn't stop her.

"Right back at ya! NAYA!" She shot back showing him the bird in return.

Thanks, Pahupahu!

"Any time Island Gal! So I'm guessing Secret Agent, Dude kicked you guys out the RecRoom, huh?"

Yep, Girl, the Bobby tossed us out, but I must say I'm not the least bit upset by it.

Simon, Jono. But, I was planning to get in a few hours of Need For Speed after we were done.

"I say, if we are all free with nothing we'd want to do," Stewart offered up. "Why don't we find something to do together?"

That sounds like fun! Paige's voice echoed in their ears.

"And while we're at it," Cyrus jumped in. "we can all talk face to face!"

Fine, Nuff chimed in. Jay's room in say five minutes?




See you all there, mates

"Hold up!" Jason called out from the bottom of the staircase. "Don't I get a say in this!"

Well, Iakona if your next eight words isn't 'Whatever you command, your Royal High and Mightiness!' YOU DO NOT.

"So, Ev, we're all in Jay's room waiting for the other vatos. It's decked out okay, and there's a hella lot of room. That's when I get five bucks richer!"

"The door's locked, guys," Cyrus replied, as he was the first to arrive.

"Don't sweat it, 'Watt. I'll have it open in a jiffy!"

"Damn it, Jubes! It's my door! I'll open it!"

The door suddenly unlocked itself and opened, revealing Alea, Angelo, and Jono sitting on the sofa, while Paige and Nathan were sitting at the desk.

Jason's room was sparsely decorated in comparison with the rest of the new students. Over the desk where Paige and Nathan were reading their Econ books were six picture frames. The group portrait he shares with Alea, Stewart, Nathan and the Admiral, a picture of a young boy with a famous superhero, several framed newspaper clippings, and a sketch of a very young girl sitting on a motorcycle. On the stand next to the sofa is a portrait of a Los Angeles County Sheriff's Deputy, and a photo-booth picture strip of that Deputy hugging a young boy.

"Aloha ahiahi, everyone!" Alea smiled towards the five students entering her boyfriend's room.

"Alea," Stewart asked. "If you guys were already in here, why lock the door?"

Nathan stood up and walked to the sofa. "To lose a bet with Angelo." He replied as he tossed five crumbled bills, which rained down on the winner.

"Gracias, for the feria hombre!"

"Well, like, I guess you were told to stay out of the RecRoom and the Kitchen, too?"

Yea, Girl, we didn't do much. The new gal cleaned the couch spot on, until she made him drop it. But the Copper said to get out.

"Same here," Cyrus added. "Lariat asked me how many spoons got done. Heck, I didn't have a clue. That place is a mess!"

"Why would he dismiss us after only a few minutes of working on our assigned chores?"

"Beats me, Monet," Nathan replied. "But the strangest thing, he had Artie and Leech waiting in the RecRoom before he tells us to get."

"Don't forget," Paige added. "He had Penance with him, as well."


Yea, Jubes. Artie an' Leech walked in and said Nichols asked them to wait for 'em, then he walked in with Penny on one arm and several blankets under the other.

"I wonder what he brought the kids in from the Biosphere for?"

"I'm guessing it's the payoff for switching flags on us, Paige," Stewart replied.

"Well," Jay said. "There's only one way to find out. Okay, who's the sneakiest amongst you cats?"

{EmWiz}So let me guess, 'Watt. You said 'Sneaky's my middle name!'

{PwrPlnt}No, Jubilee beat me to it, but Jay knew he needed me for his master plan.

"Okay, Jubes," Jay said as he headed for the door. "you sneak down and find out what the kids are doing that we should be dealt in on. 'Watt, you go down and figure out what the hell One-Time is doing."

"I don't know about you vatos, but I'm going to get my PSP to kill some time."

"Oi, I'll get mine, too. Do you have the new Metal Gear?

"Si, You're going down, Wheto!"

"Ne petez pas plus haute que votre culm! I've heard that one before!"

"You know," Paige said as Jay opened the door for the students. "We should spend the time working on the assignments Agent Nichols and Mr. Cassidy gave us."

"You do that, while I work on taking a leak," Jay replied as they all left the room. "Back in a minuet, honey!"

"Be waiting right here, sweetheart!" Nathan replied as the door closed.

"So, like I was saying, Charlie," Kordel continued. "I always pay on a margin call. Artie and Leech are tucked in the sofa each sporting the biggest Banana Split in the Commonwealth. Penance is sitting in an easy chair covered with a bomb blanket so she does not cut it to shreds, eating a bowl of tin roof sundae. And all this with a copy of Cars in the DVD player."

"Heck, Lariat I almost wish I was there with your students," Charlie Block answered back. "I loved the scene where Mator and Lightning go tractor tippin.' Boy that brought back some good memories! So what were you doing while the kickback's going on?"

"I had all ready sent the rest of the students upstairs to the dorms while I finished cleaning up the Rec Room and the kitchen."

"Why are you on KP, Lariat? I thought you said you switched the flags?"

"Well, I did win, but you have to agree, the kids DID beat me.

"I should have been more prepared, Charlie. If Artie and Leech had not led me out of the biosphere, I probably would still be feeling my way out! A Secret Service agent, fresh out of months of SHIELD Special Forces training and I almost get taken out by a wisecracking teenager! I lost plain and simple. They were going to pay up for losing, so I am just doing the same."

"I'm guessing you didn't tell this to Ms. Frost or the students?"

"Nope. So while the kids were watching a race car repaving Route 66, I was up to my elbows in soapy water. Once I had finished the dishes, I realized why dishwashers do not wear Armani. So I headed to my office to change into a workout shirt when I ran into a familiar face."

Agent Nichols wipes his hands on a rag muttering to himself. Now two of his best ties are ruined since he has been here, and there is no sign of a Hydra attack.

Draping it over an open drawer in the hopes of salvaging it, he dons his suit jacket he had the decency to have removed, and headed towards the stairs when he bumped into the President's son.

"Good evening, Mr. Parkman."

"Um… Hiya, Lariat!"

"Did I not make it clear that no one was to enter the kitchen or the RecRoom for the rest of the evening?"

"You sure did, Lariat."

"Then may I ask why you are here, Cyrus?"

"Er… Well, we're all upstairs, and, well, it's just."

I came down to make something to drink and grab some munchies, so we can all study.

"I came down to make something to drink and grab some munchies, so we can all study."

And seeing that all the snack fixings are down here….

"And seeing that all the snack fixings are down here…."

"May I ask what everyone is doing, upstairs?"

"Well… Um…"

We're all in Jay's room working on our Creative Writing assignments, 'Ãkena Keneka.

"We're all in Jay's room working on our Creative Writing assignments, Aken- I mean Lariat."

"Very well, Cyrus, I shall make some popcorn and soft drinks and take them upstairs for you."

"Thanks, Lariat!" With his mission aborted he turned around to head back upstairs.

"By the way Cyrus, what would you all like to drink?"

"Kool-Aid! The color you dumped on Flem-Wad will be fine!"

"Mr. Parkman!"

"What? That's been my all-time favorite for months!"

"Naturally. Please return upstairs."

"Okay, Lariat." Thanks for the save, Alea!

Any time, Kulo! What's this about dumping Kool-Aid on a Flem-Wad?

I'll tell you guys when I get back! How's Jubes doing?

I'll check.

"YO! DJ!"


"Looks like we got ourselves a nodder!"

The car with the loud sound system pulled in front of the sleepy truck then switched CD's from a bass-driven beat, to Kenny G's 'Songbird.'

"Pretty Music!"

The image of a truck plowing into a building while snoring appeared in front of the TV.

"Leech think that dirty trick to play, too."

"Yea, totally uncalled for, but a lotta fun to watch!"

"Hi, Jubilee!"

"Hi, guys! Whatcha doin'?"

The image of Pac-Man eating a banana split appeared.

"Nice Cop say 'thank you' to Artie and Leech, so Nice Cop make dessert for Artie and Leech and for Penny, too!"

"And Secret Agent Dude couldn't make this a group thing? Well, have fun, guys!" She then spotted Penance, she was sitting in an armchair, the Kevlar-lined bomb blanket shredded, but she was watching the screen in very high spirits, in her razor-sharp hands was a ceramic bowl of half-eaten ice cream. Jubilee can only imagine the joy Penance is feeling.

"Hi, Penny! I see Special Agent Dude got you tin roof sundae."

Penance smiled at her wordlessly.

"Well, I'll let you guys finish the movie. Next time I've got to get you to try Rocky Road, Penny! I got to get going but if you need held polishing those off, give me a holler!"

As she leaves for the stairs, she is glad at how well Agent Nichols is treating her friends and is glad she doesn't have to put foot to ass, as no one has treated him any worse than any other X-Man.

Except me of course! She thinks as she heads upstairs. I gots to get him back for this! Marshmallow shooters in our desks is one thing, playing dirty is another, but 'Movie and a Sundae' without moi? That's just plain cruel!

End of Part Four

The next installment of 'the Big Mutant On Campus' series, "The Tale of the Ghetto Butterfly" will be posted in Sept '10.

©David D. Amaya 2010