Prompt: Kirk, McCoy -Nobody Does Him Better

Channeling Insanity, Channeling Brilliance

Jim was still unconscious in the med bay when the Enterprise was hailed by the Kori Chieftain. Leonard isn't entirely sure why the man had decided that he was the one to discuss terms with, but it might have had something to do with how he'd barked orders at the medical team who'd arrived on the surface of their planet to treat the injured landing party barely an hour earlier. And perhaps because he'd even ordered Jim to shut the hell up and let him treat his injuries.

In the eyes of the Kori that apparently put him in charge since Jim was still out of commission.

They'd escaped the planet but had been surrounded by enemy ships before they'd gotten out of the system. And now the Kori wanted to discuss the terms of surrender. The Enterprise's surrender, of course. With Leonard.


When outgunned and outnumbered, facing down one enemy and with more at his back, and with a crew that trusted him with their lives, Jim would figure something out and manage to emerge victorious. He'd already proven himself on that score. So Leonard did what any man exposed to James T Kirk for too long would do when faced with an impossible situation - he channeled his captain and pulled out the bullshit.

″You don't know what we are capable of, Chieftain. You yourself have said that you have yet to encounter any such as we, so how can you know you've got enough firepower, enough brains, and enough balls to take us on?″ Leonard could hear a tiny gasp from behind him, quite possibly from Uhura. She was probably wondering when, exactly, he'd gone and lost his goddamn mind.

Frankly, Leonard had no idea. But once he started down this path he had to follow it to the end to have any chance of being successful. If he stopped now there wouldn't be any more opportunities to bluff their way out of this.

″We're traveling alone in uncharted space. You haven't seen us in action yet, not really. Do you really think we'd send anything but the best, most powerful ship into new territory without being supremely confidant in our ability to withstand any attack, outmaneuver any ship, and out think anyone who tried to get in our way? Do you truly think we'd be so shortsighted as to not expect treachery from you? Or so weak as to be afraid of anything you might try to threaten us with?″ Leonard kept eye contact with the Chieftain and sat back in his chair, going for 'relaxed and cocky' and, with the help of a memory of Jim in his mind, doing a damn good job, if he did say so himself. ″I would reevaluate your self-preservation strategy.″

Silence reigned as the entire bridge crew seemed to hold their breath, awaiting a response from the humanoid on the viewscreen. Though Leonard could feel the tension around him building with each passing second, he noted that the faces of the crewmembers he could see betrayed none of their distress to the enemy.

After a significant pause with no response from the enemy, McCoy glanced down at Chekov and Sulu. ″Get a solid lock on all enemy ships, prepare to fire on my mark. Then, plan an exit route out of the system that will avoid most of the debris that we'll leave behind.″ Leonard turned to Spock, who remained statue-still at his side. ″Prepare the high-intensity shielding, I don't want to have a single scratch on the hull of my ship – she's just been refitted and she's all shiny and new.″

Spock raised a single eyebrow, then nodded. ″Yes, sir.″ He turned and walked to his station, fingers moving swiftly across the screen. Leonard hoped his determined acting was visible on the Kori viewscreens.

″Lieutenant Uhura?″ Uhura snapped her head around and stared at him. ″Please prepare a message to Starfleet explaining the reason we'll be late in meeting our next mission time line, as well as notification of our destruction of the Kori main fleet. I imagine they'll want to take samples, or something.″

″Yes sir.″

Turning back to the viewscreen, Leonard noted that the Chieftain's skin had become noticeably grayer and the skin folds under his ears were drooping. Then, the Chieftain closed the connection between their two ships and the screen reverted back to a view stars and the enemy ship in the distance.

Oh shit, they didn't go for it! Leonard was just about to call for all personnel to brace for battle when he heard Uhura speak from behind him.

″The lead Kori battleship is transmitting orders to the rest of their fleet to fall back to the planet.″

Chekov examined his screens. ″They are all pulling back, sir, including the Chieftain's wessel!″

Leonard inhaled deeply, closing his eyes for a moment. He heard Spock order them out of the system, and Sulu's reply in the affirmative. When he opened them again, Spock was standing in front of him, meeting his gaze. ″Interesting strategy, Doctor McCoy, and surprisingly effective.″

Leonard offered a weak smile. ″In the face of impossible odds, I tried to do what Jim might do.″

Spock again raised an eyebrow. ″Fascinating.″