Diary of a Wimpy Italian

Characters: Italy, Germany, Romano, Prussia, Spain, France

Warnings: Romano's mouth. Also, Italy is really, really clueless.

Pairings: GermanyxItaly, SpainxRomano

A/N: Italy's writing is plain, Romano's is bold.


Dear Diary,

Buongiorno! Ve, ve, I'm going to write in a diary just like fratello!


Romano, don't write in my diary! You never let me read your diary, so you can't read mine! It's only fair! Uh-oh, I think I made him mad. He left…

Um, um! I made some really good pasta today and I ate it for breakfast! Then I had a siesta! And, and, and…I called Japan! We talked about food and his funny cartoons and Germany.

Speaking of which, I haven't seen Germany in a long time. I should go see him now! Bye!


P.S. Thinking of things to write in a diary is hard!


Dear Diary,

Germany won't talk to me.

I don't understand what I did…I always sleep in his bed whenever Romano isn't home, but ever since Buon San Valentino he's been acting super weird. He was so strange back there! Anyway, today he shouted at me to wake up and get out, and his face was really red. I asked him if he had a fever and tried to feel his forehead the way Japan does, but he freaked and turned away. I didn't know what to do, so I went downstairs. I saw Prussia asleep on the couch so I tried to wake him up to ask what was wrong with Germany. Usually Prussia is really different than Germany, but he looked like he was sick when he woke up too! It looked like he was trying to say something, then Romano barged into the house and threw a jacket on me (oh yeah, I forgot to put on clothes) and threw me over his shoulder (I never knew fratello was so strong!) and said something to Prussia and took me home. I wonder what he said to him? Ah, wait, he-

You want to know what I said to Potato Bastard the second? I told him he'd better not look at my little brother again if he wants to keep his bal

Romanoooo! I told you to stop stealing the pen! And don't read over my shoulder! These are my private thoughts!

I tried calling Germany after that but he wouldn't answer the phone…Sigh…I think I'll go ask big brother France for advice later. I'm too hungry to go right now…Germany, I miss you! Please don't hate me! Whatever I did, I'm sorry!



Dear Diary,

Yaaaay~! I'm so happy! Germany is talking to me again, and it's all thanks to France!

So yesterday after lunch I went to big brother France's place and told him all about Buon San Valentino and how Germany was acting. He had this odd look on his face, like it was funny. I told him it wasn't funny! Germany was ignoring me! Then France told me that I need to find out how Germany really feels about me. I wasn't real sure about that. I mean, I always seem to be causing him trouble and making him mad, but he treats me nice, so he can't hate me, right?

I told France that, and he started laughing again. He told me not to worry about it, and that if I kept acting the way I always act around him, Germany would cave eventually. I don't get it! Me being me was the reason he got mad at me in the first place.

Then, Germany charged into the house and practically threw big brother France across the room! He picked me up from the bed I was sitting on and took me to his house. I was so happy I almost forgot about France. I went to check on him later, of course.

Germany sat me down on his kitchen table and told me that this was important and I needed to listen. I was too happy to listen to him though, so I only got bits of the lecture. I was nodding along pretending to hear, I don't think he could tell so it's okay. He said something about being careful around France, and beds and yelling and he asked me if France touched me anywhere weird or made me feel uncomfortable. I said of course not, France would never hurt me! He hit himself in the face with the palm of his hand (!) and said to never, never be alone with France again. I pinky-promised and told him that he shouldn't hit himself like that, it makes me worried. Then he smiled! I'm so happy! Germany hardly ever smiles!

I asked him when was wrong with being with France though, and he stopped smiling pretty fast. I think I ruined it. He said, "And you're worried about me?" and walk off kind of uneasily. I thought about it real hard and I remembered when France tried to sell Corsica…That was awful! Big brother France can be so scary sometimes.


Dumbass! You actually went to see France? You really are an idiot! How would I be able to explain to everyone that my little brother got AIDS from that pervert? You know what? I would disown you. I don't have time for airheads with AIDS.

Veee fratello! Stop writing in my diary! How do you keep finding it? And I don't have AIDS! I'm a virgin, just like you!

Veneziano, hiding a diary from me in a basket of tomatoes is more idiotic than invading Russia. You have now degraded to the mentality of a cumquat. Congratulations.

It's all that muscle head's fault, I just know it. A-and how would you know if I'm a virgin or not? I could have lost it and never told you!

You're right! I should hide it somewhere you'll never look for it. Germany didn't make me this way, I've always been like this and you know it!

Brother's intuition~! Besides, the only person you could have done it with is Spa



Dear Diary,

I found a new hiding place for you. I hope Romano doesn't find it this time! You're safe in the album full of our baby photos! He'll never look there.

Um, so, so…I'm sleepy! I think I'll go take a siesta!

I'm back!

So yesterday Romano went to Spain's house and I guess they got into a fight again, because Romano came back all huffy and he kept muttering "tomato bastard" over and over. I asked what exactly Spain did, and he turned red like a tomato and said he'll tell me when I'm older. I was curious, so I went to Spain's house and Portugal was there while Spain was at the market. He's very different from Spain. When he smiles, it's less "I'm happy!" and more "I laugh at your misery," you know?

Anyway, he said he'd heard about the whole thing from Spain. Apparently Spain touched Romano's curl again, only Romano finally told him what it was. Then he started pulling it again! Just thinking about it makes me feel weird. I wish we could just cut it off, but Grandpa Rome says if we do, we'll die! I don't know if that's true, but I don't wanna die so it's better safe than sorry. Ah! I got off topic again! So! Portugal said Romano was turning even redder than a tomato, if that's even possible, and he was fidgeting and I guess he couldn't take it anymore, so he kissed Spain! Then he punched him in the face and stormed out!

What the hell, Romano?



Dear Diary,

Romano's still being stubborn and ignoring Spain! He's come to our house so many times this week, yet fratello will never talk to him. He ignores his calls and tells me to leave Spain alone. Since I'm his loyal brother I have to, but it still makes me sad. I wish Romano were more honest. It would make things so much easier, but we all have our flaws. Germany tells me it would be a lot easier if I were more perceptive and not so clingy and emotional. But if I'm not emotional, how will everyone know how I feel? Romano and Germany are alike in a lot of ways. They hide their emotions a lot, and they're both loud and violent sometimes, but they're really nice on the inside and I love them sooooo much! I'm so lucky to have friends unlike England! Nobody talks to him that much besides France and America. He scares me, but I still feel sorry for him.

Romano, hurry up and forgive Spain! You're taking all of your frustration out on me!



Dear Diary,

Spain is so nice~!

He came to apologize to fratello and sang a pretty song on his guitar. Romano wouldn't let him in, so he just played in front of the house and I watched him from a window on the second floor. His voice is beautiful! Romano was sitting in the same room as me but wouldn't face the window. I could tell he was glad Spain came though. His aura was glowing with happiness! He kept silent the whole time too; he was paying a lot of attention to the song. After Spain was done, Romano came to the window and started shouting at him. Then he ran downstairs, out the door, grabbed Spain's collar, and head butted him right in the stomach! That had to hurt. As soon as Spain recovered, Romano started talking.

I couldn't hear what he was saying from where I was, but his shoulders were shaking and Spain was smiling and put his arms around him. Romano must have missed him, because he just let Spain hug him like that. They stood there for at least ten minutes before Spain came in for some of Romano's rare homemade pasta. I'm glad they're over it, but I bet they're going to be fighting again next week.

They're both so dense!



Whaaa? Why? And how did you find my diary again?

You wrote yourself a reminder of where it was. On the fridge. The motherfucking fridge.

Aaannnnd done. Romano writing in a diaryIMEANJOURNAL is based off of the several fics of that I've seen on here. I have yet to see one in Italy's point of view, so I wrote this. Though I wouldn't doubt it already exists. Review Y/Y?

*I accidentally put 2/29/09 here at first…It would've been awesome if 2009 were a leap year. Then I would've done it right on accident. Too bad I never seem to do that.