Author's Note: I just thought this would be fun to do, to get out of the habit of my other fanfics. This is a songfic, the song being 10,000 miles by Mary Chapin Carpenter. I think this is a beautiful song and if you haven't heard it before, you should. This has nothing to do with any of my current fics, so it's all on its own and completely different. Excuse all mistakes that you may find in this sort of one-shot, two-shot story. I don't own D. Gray-man or the song. Enjoy ^^
The war was finally over. The victory went to the Order, their hard work well earned as they all cheered in triumph. Well, most of them did. A handful of them were weeping as they stood around the death bed of a single exorcist worthy of the title of General. Allen Walker laid painfully on a crisp cotton bed, the sheets once a pure virgin white now tainted in his own crimson blood. Though they had tried their best to bandage them up, the wounds persisted to bleed, taking away the little strength he had left as fight for his life.
He was very tired, and wished nothing more but to rest. But if he were to do that, he might fall into a never waking sleep, and he did not want that to happen. Not while his friends were still here, safe and sound. Not while Lenalee still yearned for him to stay. He would do everything in his power to make that possible, but some promises could never be kept. Not for long that is.
His closes friends surrounded his bed side, amongst them including Lavi, Miranda, Krory, Johnny, Reever, Komui, Marie, Kanda (yes even Kanda, to his surprise), and Link. The person that had mattered to him the most was currently missing, too distress to be in the same room as him. The head nurse had insisted that they all not come in at once but their worry over the Destroyer of Time causing them all to enter at once. Try as she might though, she could not get them all to leave his private room and allow him to rest peacefully so that he may recover. But recovery seemed impossible in the condition he was in.
Bandages were wrapped around his entire torso, the gauze stained red in certain spots. His innocence, along with everyone else's, was missing, the ending of the war having caused all the innocence fragments to shatter and disperse across the globe. Where they would remain dormant until it was needed again and if the darkness were to return. Some bandages covered up the area where his missing appendage should've been, his other arm bounded tightly in many bandages due to the multiple fractures he had suffered. His face was bruised and blood stained, his left eye almost closed shut due to a black eye that was steadily worsening. All and all, he was in critical condition.
Allen watched with sadden eyes as all those he cared about continued to cry, with the exception of Kanda, who had been forced to come in the first place. Link was staring out the window, away from the others, but his reflection showed that tears were silently streaming down his face, displaying his sorrow of losing the person he had followed around for about 3 years. Though he was amazed to admit it, he had eventually considered the white haired young man a friend of his, one that had grown on him like a pesky fungus that wouldn't go away. Krory and Miranda were in hysterics, the two of them having Marie comfort them as they cried their eyes and hearts out. It was unsurprising, but painfully for the Destroyer of Time to watch.
Johnny had crumpled to the floor, letting out all his sorrow to the floor just as he had the night Tapp had faded away as a Skull. Allen wanted to reassure him that he was going to be alright, but that would make him a liar. Everyone knew he wasn't alright. Reever had a hand over his mouth, a pained expression on his face as he fought for composure, losing badly. It was hard to see the boy he had seen grow into a man lay there on his death bed. Komui stood in the back, his face grave as he stared at Allen with soundless tears streaming down his face, his beret held over his heart as he bowed to the mighty Destroyer of Time. Everyone had believed that nothing could destroy Allen, that this was just too good to be true. But everyone forgets that their savior is only human. His death had been expected if they were to win this war.
Lavi was at the foot of his bed, tears staining the sheets as he buried his face into his crossed arms, unable to look upon Allen's state any longer without having his heart pierced. He didn't care that this wasn't something a Bookman should be doing, weeping over a piece of history. Allen was more than history, he was his best friend. He was the simple, polite boy that he had always enjoyed pulling pranks on. The boy with the appetite that never seize to amaze him. The boy that had showed him what it meant to be a true friend and a comrade. He could never let go of this kid so easily and so willingly. But it wasn't something that he could control; the inevitable was going to happen.
"…Everyone…" struggled Allen through a dry throat, his eyes blinking warily as everyone looked up at him surprised. They hadn't expected him to speak.
"I…wish to thank…every last one of you individually…before it is my time to go. Please…someone make sure Lenalee comes. I wish to see her…before I go." Requested Allen, already winded. The group all nodded slowly and sadly before evacuating out of his private room, Johnny being the first to stay behind.
Lenalee wandered the empty halls in solemnity, her eyes red and puffy, her cheeks bearing the trails of unending tears. She had been the one to watch Allen defeat the Earl, the one to watch him fall back to the ground in exhaustion afterwards. The one to bring him back as he bled himself to death. She had felt so powerless at that moment, feeling as though there was nothing she could do that would lessen his burden, which would save him from this fate. His fate had been sealed the moment he had been cursed.
But she couldn't just sit around and watch him slowly die. It was just too painful and only aroused memories that she didn't want to subject herself to. The pain would only increase because of it. Though, she couldn't stop herself from remembering last Christmas, the night being one she could and would never forget.
As usual, the Order held its annual Christmas ball. But this wasn't what made the day extra special. It was for the fact that Allen would be turning 18, or at least, he would be considered 18 that day. So the ball was decorated especially in his honor, the buffet table filled with all his favorite foods. A mitarashi dango covered cake was forged just for him, a treat made just for him while everyone else dined on a regular cake.
Music was booming, the elegant noise fuelling everyone's urge to dance. Everyone was enjoying themselves, happy to relax for once during this appreciated holiday. Lenalee sat watching everyone else dance, waiting for that special someone to come along and ask for her hand in a dance. But he was currently missing, even though this was his own party, Lavi along with him. The two were probably caught up doing something, that, or Lavi was having fun stalling him even though he should've been here an hour ago.
Sighing, she watched jealously as Miranda was waltzing with Marie, Krory politely cutting in once the song had finished. She was happy that her girl friend was getting some attention, but she wished it was her that was getting that much attention from a guy. One guy in particular. She was almost 19 years old, and still she was unable to express her feelings completely to the birthday boy. Maybe they were destined just to remain friends, and nothing more. But she refused to let it just go at that. She was going to tell him how she felt tonight, whether she was ready or not.
Resting her chin on her upturn palm, she continued watching the dancers waltz in and out of each other, admiring the beauty that came out of this simple dance. Then she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder, causing her to perk up and turn expectedly, only to see that it was Lavi that had grabbed her attention. Slightly annoyed, she looked up at him as he continued giving her a goofy grin, his hair falling all over his face.
"Care to have this dance?" he asked smoothly, bowing to her as he offered her a hand.
Not seeing how it was going to make much of a difference at this rate, she gladly accepted, taking a hold of his arm as he led her to the dance floor. People stopped and gazed at the two, smiles on their faces as they walked passed. A blush crept up Lenalee's face, embarrassment washing over her due to all the attention she was receiving. And because she was beginning to feel strangely guilty, as if she was doing something behind Allen's back. She felt dirty accepting the dance from one of her best friends, even though there was nothing going on between her and Allen.
Placing a hand on one of his shoulders while he placed one on her hip, the two clasped hands before they began following the beat of the music, slow yet upbeat at the same time. Lavi was surprisingly a good dancer, never once stepping on her feet in his usual clumsiness. His movements were that of a natural, effectively leading her in the waltz. She was enjoying herself despite herself, glad that she had at least gotten one dance before the end of the night. He smiled down at her, a strange glint in his one eye as they moved this way and that. As if he knew something that she didn't.
While in the midst of a spin, he suddenly let go of her, causing her twirl away from him and into the arms of another as she was brought down into a dip. Panic rising in her, she closed her eyes tight shut as she was dipped forward, unaware of who had done it. But slowly she cracked open one eye, which ultimately lead to both eyes opening upon learning the identity of the person that was keeping her from falling. In a nice tuxedo with hair neatly combed was Allen, a nervous smile on his lips as they stared at each other. All she could do was utter his name as he brought her back up, the song ending as he did so.
"May I have this dance?" he asked as he bowed to her in the same fashion Lavi had, another song beginning to play once he did so.
"Yes…" she answered breathlessly as he held her gloved hand and brought it up to his lips, giving it a kiss before straightening up. The two smiled with their faces flushed as they went in for a dance together. Lavi stood within the crowd of the people watching, the smug look of satisfaction on his face as he gave his glass of wine a sip, giving Allen a quick wink before sinking back into the crowd.
The moment they shared together was timeless, everything else stopping just for them as they continued the elegant dance. This was what she had been waiting for this entire night, and now that she had it, she had forgotten all about her resolve to confess to him. Just being with him in this moment was good enough for her.
He didn't show to be an as elegant of a dancer as Lavi had but he didn't fail miserably like most figured he would. He took his time, carefully guiding her in the steps as shifted his gaze at their feet every now and again. This tendency would've annoyed her if it were anyone else. But she found it cute when he did it, her mind quickly deducing that she wouldn't have it any other way.
They danced to at least three songs before the candles on Allen's cake were lit. Seizing their dancing streak, the pair made their way over to the buffet table where the two cakes sat, a look of growing anticipation showing on his face as he made it to the front of the table. There his cake and the one for everyone else stood lit, 9 candles on each cake. He gazed down at them as everyone sang him happy birthday, Komui telling him to make a wish as soon as they had finished the song.
He thought long and hard, a hand resting on his chin as he began thinking it over. Then his gaze shifted over to Lenalee, their eyes locking as a gentle smile, one that was in fact genial, came onto his face. Whatever the wish was, she never knew, for he then turned away and blew out all the candles, cheers rising up because of it. The sound of glasses clicking against each other could be heard as people made toasts with one another, Allen swiftly diving into his personal cake. Every now and again he would give a piece to Timcanpy, not minding very much of having to share with him.
Lenalee watched with happiness as he continued to devour his mitarashi dango cake, a blissful sigh escaping her lips as she began walking out of the ball room and out onto the nearest balcony. She would wait to give Allen his gift, knowing that he was too indulged with eating at the moment to care about presents. But when the time came, he would notice her absence right away and eventually come looking for her. She could wait until then though, she didn't mind. The gift she wanted to give him was something she wanted to give him in private, something that she wanted to be shared just between the two of them.
It had to be special for such a special night.
end of flashback
Johnny exited the room in about 10 minutes, snot oozing out of his nose as he fought to recompose himself. But everyone knew that that was going to be a hard thing to do. Reever entered next, his steps wispy as he took Johnny's place. Smoothing back his hair nervously, he closed the door behind him once he made it through, looking at anything but Allen as he sat down in a nearby chair.
"What's wrong?" Allen asked, as if him being on his death bed wasn't something out of the ordinary.
"It's just…I never expected you to be in this kind of situation." Choked Reever, his hand tightening around the fabric of his pants.
"No, I guess not. But please just smile for me, until you can't remember my face anymore—"
"Don't say that!"
Reever jumped to his feet, his eyes showing his fury despite the fact that tears had returned and they were now sliding down his cheeks. Allen looked to him tiredly, curious as to why he reacted in such a way. But Reever didn't even know, for he bowed his head, his shoulders slumping forward as he brought a hand to his forehead.
"Do…do you remember the first time I came here?" asked Allen, hoping to drive the conversation somewhere else. Reever didn't respond, instead, his hand tightening around his forehead. He did remember that night all those years ago.
It was unsurprisingly dark that one night as the science department, Komui, and Lenalee, all stood around the projected screens displaying outside. Each one belonged to a certain golem, each one different from the last as it took visual of the area around them, making sure no intruders or akuma were coming their way.
But as always, there was hardly anything interesting going on, just a few pictures of the cliff headquarters was built on. No one was really paying much attention to what was going on besides Lenalee until some kid came along, most of the screens now harboring some angle of him.
"Who's the kid?" asked Reever over his shoulder to no one in particular.
"Well I'm not sure…But he did make it up the cliff." replied Johnny as he brought a hand to his chin in a thoughtful gesture.
"He's walking to the door." Added Tapp, causing all their gazes to shift over to the multiple screens. Then in came Komui.
"Why is there a child out there?" he said with his coffee mug in hand, "You know we don't tolerate outsiders. Someone go out there and push the kid off."
"I don't think that'd be a good idea. Judging by the look of him, I seriously doubt he just wandered here." Countered Reever, not digging this whole 'pushing the kid off' idea.
"Hey, check this out," interjected Lenalee as she pointed to a golden golem that flew beside the white haired boy. "Look at that marking, that's General Cross's golem."
They all stared at her finding until a voice coming from the headset caught Reever's and Komui's attention. 'Hello! Anyone home?' Reever brought the headset to his ear as the voice of the boy continued speaking.
'My name is Allen Walker and I was referred here by General Cross Marian. I'm here to request a meeting with the executive of the Order.'
"He's General Cross's apprentice?" asked Johnny as they all got closer to the screens, watching as the boy looked this way and that, unsure of where he should be directing his voice to.
"I thought that the General was dead."
"The kid said he was here on referral. Do you know anything about this Chief Komui?" Reever asked Komui, who was now mulling over his words as he took a sip of what was left of his coffee.
"Well…have a gatekeeper do a physical exam."
At this, the gatekeeper awoke, getting down real close so that he could get a good look of the boy. Everyone watched as he began the examination, not expecting anything strange to happen. But after a couple of seconds, he howled in fear as he drew away from the boy, causing everyone to freeze and gasp. That wasn't nearly as bad though as when the gatekeeper declared the boy an akuma. Then everyone began freaking out.
Their fear though was put to rest as Kanda came diving out of the sky, landing on top of the gatekeeper as he glared down at the boy. A fight began that was mostly one-sided, only lasting for a moment until the boy's arm transformed and blocked the samurai's attack. The two began to talk, which only led to Kanda attack him again before saying that his master had sent a letter to someone named Komui.
At this everyone turned to the Chief. Not liking all the attention, he turned to the nearest person. And unfortunately it was Rob.
"Hey you, over there."
"Find the letter, it's on my desk." Ordered Komui, thoughts of his atrocious desk coming into everyone's mind. Having to find something in that cluttered pile he called his desk was every science member's worst nightmare.
"It may take awhile…"
"That's a tall order Chief." Commented Reever, feeling sorry for poor Rob as he zoomed off to his fate. Everyone was staring at him incredulously, not believing that he would actually subject a person to that monstrosity. Unable to stand the stares, he soon followed Rob, saying in a sing-song voice that he was going to give him a hand.
Somehow the two of them found it underneath all that mess, Rob reading it to Komui. This proved that this Allen kid was telling them all the truth.
"Great, sounds good to me. Hey there Reever, you should stop Kanda. I've got to go refill my coffee." Replied Komui wispily, knowing that the head of science department was already annoyed and he didn't want to be in the line of fire that was directed at him.
"Maybe you should clean your office while you're on the way there!" retorted Reever annoyed, teeth gnashing as he went to make sure that Kanda stood down from the attack. Komui was so impossible sometimes.
end of flashback
"That certainly was a crazy night for all of us." Chuckled Reever weakly as he was now sitting beside Allen, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand.
Allen smiled as he shakingly outstretched his bandaged hand to Reever, hand trembling as he made a pitiful fist. Struggling to show a smile, he toke a painful intake of breath as he clenched his own fist and gently gave the Destroyer of Time a fist pump. But this wasn't enough for Reever. Bending down, he wrapped his arms gently around the young man's fragile form, giving him a hug of reassurance.
"Goodbye Allen, know that the science department will never forget you."
"Goodbye Reever, tell them all that I'll be thinking of them. They've all been good friends to me. Take care."
Reever slowly pulled away, a lopsided grin on his face as he ran a hand through his hair before turning away. Hand resting on the door knob, he stood there for a moment before exiting the room, the sound of the door closing muffling his sobs. Everyone that stood outside watched as Reever collected Johnny. Giving his fellow science department member a pat on the back, he led him away from them all and back to the labs where he would share to them what Allen had said. That he hasn't forgotten all the good times they shared in those labs, especially when it came with dealing with Komui's experiments.
They needed to know that there would never be a person as brave and as caring as Allen Walker.
Next came Miranda, Marie gently encouraging her by saying that Allen wanted to see her. She eventually relented, even though she continued repeatedly saying that she was unworthy of seeing her friend again. Wobbling over to the door, she slowly opened it to see Allen fallen to the floor, grunting in pain. Immediately the German exorcist rushed on in, getting to his level as she helped him to his feet.
Sweat slid down the side of his face as gritted his teeth, his heavily bandaged hand pressed against his abdomen as he was pulled to his feet. Miranda was panicking at this point, her actions showing her hysterics as she brought him back to his bed. But instead of lying back down, he remained sitting up, a pillow propped up and supporting his back. Sighing in relief, he wiped his sweaty forehead before turning to Miranda, noticing that his friend had gone quiet. He went to ask what was wrong but she beat him to it.
"Wh-what were you th-thinking Allen. You're…you're t-too hurt t-to be doing som-something like that." She cried, her head bowed as her tears fell onto her pants.
"I was thinking that I wanted to see a dear friend at least one more time. But you were taking too long, and I was starting to think you weren't going to show. So if you weren't going to come to me, then I was going to go to you."
She looked up in surprise, her tears flying as she did so. He was giving her the same exact smile he had given her the time when she had activated Time Record for the first time. If she hadn't been crying before, she was crying now, tears pouring out in waterfalls as she brought her two hands to her face, hiding away her sorrow behind gloved hands. She couldn't stop herself from remembering that never ending day that repeated itself so many times.
She was sitting in her apartment, her body in pain as she remained hunched over, Lenalee beside her. She had never felt so much pain before and she wasn't sure how long she could last. But she had to; if she didn't, then she would fail her friends. Just like she always failed at everything. She couldn't let that happen again, not this time. She wasn't going to fail at saving their lives.
The sound of Allen's voice could be heard as he called out her name, skidding to halt in front of her before dropping down to her level.
"Stop using your power! If you keep this up, you'll strain your body's limits!" coaxed Lenalee beside her, wishing for her friend to stop.
"I can't…" she gasped, sweat and tears intermingling as they slid down her face. She held herself tighter, the pain increasing. "If I stop…If I stop, it looks like the time that was sucked away will return. Again…all those injuries will come back to you once again."
She thought of the injuries they had suffered, how they would be in peril if she were to stop. They looked to her in surprise, unaware of the fact that she cared about them this much until now.
"No…although it's been the first time anyone has said 'thank you' to me, this makes it meaningless…doesn't it?" she said through pained sobs, wishing she could just reverse time completely. She bowed her head again, unable to look her friends in the eye at the moment. Then she felt hands grip her shoulders, squeezing them in gentle reassurance.
"Stop using the power." She looked up to see Allen sitting in front of her, a gentle and unafraid smile on his face as he retracted his hands. "Stop it, Miranda. It's because of you that we're here now. That's more than enough.
"I'll bear my own injuries. As long as I live, I'll be able to recover."
"That's right Miranda. Please stop…"
Flinching slightly, she slowly obeyed their request and she deactivated her power, time turning back as she did so. Quickly, she ran off, not wanting to fail her friends once again. As much as he had tried to reassure her, she knew that if she didn't get someone fast, they would die. And she didn't want that happening.
end of flashback
As she continued to sob, she felt a hand cupped her chin before gently pulling her head up. Hand slowly drawing away, he continued giving her that same smile from all those years ago as her tears slowed down. Somewhat that is.
"Don't worry Miranda, everything is going to be fine. I can bare my injuries on my own. You don't need to share the burden as well."
"How…how can you stay smiling in a time like this?" she asked, amazed by the level-headedness he was showing. She wished she was as calm as him in a situation like this. She wasn't even the one that was hurt and yet, he was the own reassuring her that everything was going to be alright.
"Because it's the only thing I can do that'll keep me from crying."
Sure enough, a few tears could be seen sliding down his face as he continued to smile, the silvery, crystalline droplets not hindering the action.
"I know it's a lot to ask but…could you take care of Tim while I'm gone? I know he'll get lonely if he doesn't have anyone to play with. And I know he'll keep you company. He'll make you laugh and smile." Asked Allen meekly, hoping the request would make his friend stop crying and smile.
"Allen…" She looked away again, wiping her face away of the tears and snot before looking up, her bottom lip trembling as she gave him a strained and forced smile. "I'd be happy to take care of Tim for you."
"Thank you, Miranda."
He leaned forward and wrapped his arm around her, embracing her as she continued to sob, the waterworks coming back. Despite the fact that she had heard the words multiple times from all her comrades, she couldn't stop the pull on her heart whenever Allen uttered those words to her. After all, he was the first person to ever say them to her. The words that she hadn't known she longed for until he said them.
He had been her first real friend after all.
Somehow, she had found herself inside Allen's room, her footsteps having led her subconsciously to the one place that was his. Hesitant, she slowly opened the door and allowed herself in, taking in the surroundings. It wasn't very different from the one he had had at the old headquarters, with the exception of a few things here and there. The familiar painting of the demonic looking clown carrying a coffin as he was pulled along could be seen hanging over his bed, serving as a constant reminder of his motto.
Stepping inside, she walked along his dresser and gazed down at the many pictures that he had of his friends. He would be leaving behind so many people that cared about him, many people that wished he wouldn't leave. But under his circumstances, it was only inevitable. His wounds were too grave to be healed.
Sighing sadly, she sat at the foot of his bed, her eyes fixated at the picture he had of her and him together, getting ready to depart on their very first mission together, the one about the rewinding town. It was funny, seeing a picture of themselves all those years ago. To think, he would have such an impact on her life now compared to then. He made up a large portion of her world after all.
Seeing his sheepish smile in the picture made her smile, causing her to marvel over how young he looked. He, a boy of 15 and she, a girl of 16. Now though, he was a man of 18 and she was a woman of 19. They both had grown in those three years, more than some people do in a lifetime. Scars from countless battles covered their bodies now, marking their battle prowess. But some of those scars couldn't be seen by the naked eye. Some of them you had to see with your heart.
"I wish you didn't have to take him away. I thought you had forgiven me, just as I had forgiven you, but instead you only mock me. I hate you so much God…" she seethed as her hands went up to her face, shielding the tears that had return.
"I don't think He's mocking you Lenalee, He's just doing what He thinks is right. Even if that means taking him away."
She looked up to see Lavi leaning on the door frame, his arms folded across his chest as he watched her sadly. Once he had gotten her attention, he stepped forward, sauntering over to where she sat before taking a seat beside her. Huffing a sigh, he leaned back and blew a few strands of his red hair out of his face as he cocked his head over to her, giving her a smile full of mirth.
"Allen wishes to talk to us individually before he…he goes away. And he wants you there."
"I can't go." She said it as if it were a fact.
"Why not? It would break his heart if he didn't get to see you one last time."
"Because my own heart would break if I saw him again. Seeing him there, bleeding himself to death, is just too painful for me to watch."
Lavi shifted around so that he was now leaning forward, a look of concern on his face as he rubbed the back of his neck. Slowly and with hesitation, he grabbed a hold of one of her hands and gave it a reassuring squeeze that caused her to turn her head to him again.
"It's painful for everyone Lenalee, but it'll be even more painful for him if you don't come. He cares about you a lot."
"I know he does, just as much as I care for him…"
"Then what's stopping you from seeing him again?"
"I…I can't stand to see him pretend that this all nothing big. That him dying isn't something we need to worry ourselves about."
"He only does it because he doesn't like to have people worry about him. He is a martyr after all, this is only a natural response for him that is the equivalence of freaking out. He wants to make his final moments something worth remembering."
She remained silent after that, her hollow eyes staring at the floor now. He was right, this was only a response that showed he was freaking out on the inside. But how she saw his last moments would be different from what he saw. She would see nothing but pain and sorrow, something that was steadily making itself familiar with her. She wanted to see him but at the same time, didn't. She was torn between the two, not sure which one she wanted more.
"You know where he is. I trust you'll make the right decision in the end." Said Lavi tiredly as he gave her hand another squeeze before he got back to his feet. Rolling his shoulders, he slowly made his way out of the room, deciding to go back to Allen's isolated room now that Lenalee knew Allen wished to see her.
There was nothing more he could do to persuade her. It was ultimately her decision to see Allen…just one last time.
Krory was the next to enter, a dribble of snot sliding out of his nose as he sat in the chair beside Allen's bed. Watery eyed and bottom lip trembling, he gazed down at Allen as he finally relented to sleep, knowing that a simple nap wouldn't necessarily kill him. Krory watched his chest barely rise and fall, a raspy noise being produced as breathed.
Pulling out a clean cloth from the bedside table, he dipped it into the basin filled with crystal clear water before dabbing it across Allen's forehead. Wiping away the sweat that clung to the surface, he eventually allowed the cool cloth to rest upon that part of his head. Exhaling a shaky breath, he leaned back, wiping his nose with a handkerchief before bowing his head, his hair overshadowing his eyes.
"I…I was hoping you were awake but I guess it's better that you rest. You need to conserve your strength for now, so that you can stay with us longer until…until…"
He broke down after that, his shoulders shaking as he grimaced in emotional pain. He felt so useless and pitiful. He couldn't be strong enough for his friend, not like he had been when he had first met him. Back then, he had thought he was just a boy that wanted to break the love he and his beloved Eliade shared. But in reality, he was only trying to help.
Rain began falling within the castle, drenching his grandfather's beloved garden of man-eaters and himself. He sat on his knees, his arms feeling like dead weight. The water continued to intermingle with that of his tears, the two becoming undistinguishable as they both slid down his face. His hair stuck to the sides of face, the water making it appear lifeless and limp as he kept his head bowed. He didn't have the energy to move or care anymore.
He had just killed the one person that he had loved, how could he care?
"Krory?" He didn't bother looking up. He knew who the voice belonged to. Instead, he took another approach.
"You stupid flower…" he mumbled under his breath before he continued, his voice practically screaming as he said, "You ugly crap! Nauseating, piece of shit of a flower!"
Just as he had expected, one of the flowers came and swallowed him, mad that it wasn't getting loved. Allen and Lavi were surprised by this attempt of suicide, both of them panicking as they attempted to free him. Eventually they succeeded, to his annoyance. He wanted to be with his lover in death. But instead he was kept here in this hateful and unloving world.
"I have destroyed Eliade. I…I no longer have the will to live anymore…" he sobbed, wishing more than anything that he'd just die.
He attempted to get swallowed again, but Allen quickly covered his mouth with his hand, wishing that he'd calm down. Eventually he succeeded, his hand slowly drawing away once he was sure he wasn't going to try and piss off the killer flowers again.
"You've damaged your right arm." Stated Allen as he looked over to see that his entire appendage was flimsy and limp, in this case, actual dead weight.
"No…if I drink an akuma's blood again, it should be fine," he said "haha…I've become such a monster. What I loved…I destroyed. I just want to die…" Suddenly, he felt a pair of hands grab the front of his shirt roughly, pulling him up slightly so that he was looking into the grey eyes of the white haired boy.
"If it's that painful, just become an exorcist. Exorcists destroy akuma, you know. And you've destroyed an akuma called Eliade." Said an exasperated Allen before he continued "And if you continue to destroy akuma, then that'll be the reason why you destroyed Eliade. If you have a reason, you can live…You can continue living for your reason. Because you too, are just another apostle of the innocence."
Having said that, he thrusted him back to the ground, where he fell onto his hand and knees as he continued crying his eyes out. He was right, if he had a purpose, then he could continue living. He would be able to move on with his life if he had a purpose, and destroying akuma could be that reason. Though, a part of him, would never forgive himself for killing the one person that had mattered the most. The one person he had loved with all his heart.
end of flashback
"You've done so much for me that I don't know what I can do that can possibly repay you. My friend…I don't want you to die. You made me see what it truly meant to be an exorcist and what it took to move on." He said in between sobs. "I wish I were as strong as you, Allen."
Eyes clenched shut, he sobbed for another good 10 minutes before he got to his feet. He didn't know if his friend had heard a word he had said, though, he hoped he did. He didn't want his friend to think he hadn't wanted to see him even though he was asleep when he did. Sighing, he made his way to the door, his hand resting on the door knob as he paused. Flinching slightly, he was about to leave when Allen spoke.
"No…you're…much stronger than me…Krory…" He mumbled in his sleep, his voice trailing off as he went back into his dream world.
Krory froze as he looked over his shoulder, stunned that he actually heard him. Gratitude filled him as he turned away, his eyes slowly closing as he looked away in pain. Then he finally turned the door knob, allowing himself out. But not before he dropped a single white rose onto his bed, the only one that had been in bloom within his garden here at the Order.
Hopefully Allen would see it as a sign of their friendship.
"Allen's sleeping right now, I think it would be better if we just let him rest. Excuse me." Informed Krory before he began shuffling down one of the halls, Miranda and Marie following him.
The others that remained, Komui, Kanda, Link, and Lavi, watched the trio go, Komui sighing sadly before taking his place inside Allen's room. What he had to say, he'd prefer to say while the boy was sleeping. He wouldn't be able to say what he wanted to if he were awake. The others watched in silence, knowing that their own turns were drawing closer and closer towards the end.
Once inside, the Chief didn't bother to take a seat, instead, choosing to stand at the door. What he had to say was short and simple. Clearing his throat, he removed his beret once more and averted his gaze to the ground. He couldn't stand to see Allen in his current state any longer,, especially when a strange raspy sound was being produced as he inhaled and exhaled slowly.
"Listen…I know you probably don't know this but…I know about the feelings you have for my sister. I've known probably ever since the two of you began getting closer and closer. And I'm not going to lie, I don't like it very much. But seeing you here, causing my sister much pain, is something I can stand even less.
"You have to pull through for us. You have to make it for the sake of Lenalee. If you don't…then her entire spirit will just crush. And that's something I can't stop or fix." He said as tears of anguish slid painfully down his cheeks as he finally looked up, his eyes filled with a wild earnest. "Because her heart already belongs to you!"
Glaring angrily at the sleeping form of Allen Walker, he went to turn when suddenly he heard the sound of weak coughs coming from said person, a choking sound coming soon after. Eyes slowly shifting to panic, he dropped his beret to the ground as he rushed over to his bedside. Once there, he let out a gasp of astonishment, the pain he was feeling showing in his face as he struggled to wake up Allen.
He was gasping now, struggling to get some air as he choked for breath. Blood trickled freely out the corners of his mouth as he coughed, the bandages at his chest now becoming soaked in his blood, the blotches steadily growing in size and color as he continued to bleed. One of his lungs had just given out.
"HELP! SOMEONE GET HELP! WE NEED SOME NURSES AND DOCTORS IN HERE!" cried Komui as he continued his attempts of waking Allen up.
The door burst opened soon after, Lavi rushing in at the sound of Komui's cries. But the sight caused his heart to skip a beat, his entire being freezing as his hair started standing up on end in shock. Allen was convulsing at this point, the lack of oxygen he wasn't receiving had caused his body to go into a state of seizures. Nurses came rushing in soon after as Komui continued to cry out for help.
As they ran to Allen's bedside with tools and equipment in hand, a few doctors began prepping for surgery, a few going to hold him down as one ministered an anesthetic injection directly into his body, a few beginning to stuff tubes down his throat. It was a risky gamble doing it this way, injecting an unmeasured amount of the substance directly into him, especially since he was already out of it and suffering the beginning stages of organ failure. The chances of making it through the surgery were slimming by the second.
The scene was very traumatic for Lavi to watch, still frozen on the spot, shocked by the pace they were all moving as they began hooking machines up to him. The nurses, noticing that Komui and Lavi were still inside, began shoving them back, pushing them forcefully out of the room before the door to his room was locked shut in front of their faces. Lavi stared at the oak made door in anguish, his hands balling into fists as he began pounding on the door once sense had returned.
"What's going on? What's wrong with him? SOMEONE TALK TO ME!" he cried in anguish before his knees gave out and he slowly slid down to the floor, his hands weakly pounding the door.
Link grimaced as he took a few steps forward, prepared to pull Lavi away when the golem in his bag began vibrating. Stopping once he noticed it, his eyes became narrowed slits as he reluctantly walked away to the nearest phone. Central was calling for a report, that he was sure of, but he had no idea that someone was coming for the report in person and that they were only a few hours away. If circumstances were different, he would've been thrilled that his superior was coming. But during a time like this, and knowing the man fairly well, his presence would surely be unwanted.
So instead of Link pulling Lavi away, it was Kanda, who did it more roughly than Howard would ever handle a person. Instantly, Lavi threw himself at the Japanese exorcist, sobbing into his jacket like a little 5 year old. Kanda stiffened at the action, one hand fingering Mugen as one of his eyebrows twitched before he suddenly began patting the Bookman's back curtly. Now wasn't the time to pick up a fight with anyone. Not while everyone was so fragile at the moment.
As Kanda began wishing he hadn't showed an ounce of compassion, Lenalee suddenly appeared before them all, her eyes wide in fear as she stared at the locked door, the sign overhead marking that a surgical procedure was taking place. Everyone turned to her, worry plastered on Komui's face, devastation oozing off of Lavi's, and irritation displayed on Kanda's.
"Lenalee…" uttered Komui, as if the words pained him. He stepped forward, a hand reaching out to touch her. But it was too late. She was already running in the opposite direction. Where she was going, she had no clue.
All she knew was that she wanted to be anywhere other than there.
She ran forever, possibly miles if it weren't for the fact that you could only run for so long before you ended up at a dead end. At which point, after finding herself at the entrance, she collapsed to the ground exhausted. It hit her right then and there that Allen was un-doubtfully dying as she cried. Hugging herself, she began rocking back and forth as her previous denial began slipping away. He wasn't going to miraculously make it this time. One way or another, Allen was going to die. Whether it be in a few minutes, hours, or days, was up for God, the one she loathed so much, to decide.
"Here Miss Lee, I think this may help in your pain."
She stopped her rocking and looked up to see Link kneeling down beside her, a linen cloth outstretched towards her. She hesitantly accepted the cloth, dabbing her eyes away of the tears as he took a seat beside her. With each dab she cursed herself. She was sick and tired of crying her eyes out over one person. She was tired of feeling so weak and vulnerable. She wanted to go away, far away, but didn't have enough courage to see it through. There was one think holding her back.
"Thank you, Link."
"It's just a simple gesture, nothing more. Here, have a cookie, it'll make you feel better." He assured before pulling out a bag of freshly made cookies. When he had found the time to do it, she had no idea, but who could refuse any of Link's delicious pastries.
She pulled out a sugar cookie and began taking tiny bites out of the soft and warm dough, Link nibbling on a peanut butter one. The two fell silent after that, each indulged in their own cookie as they continued thinking. Both held their own thoughts, choosing to keep them to themselves as they finished off their own individual cookie.
"Now then, why don't you tell me what's bothering you." He said as he began daintily dabbing his mouth with a napkin, wiping away the lingering crumbs as he turned to her, his expression softening ever so slightly. He might not be as bubbly as Lavi, but he certainly wasn't as ice cold as Kanda.
"Why do you care about what's bothering me? I'm not the one you need to be following."
"No, but telling someone that isn't as close to you as, say, Lavi or Komui, might help. I make a very good and patient listener."
"Well…I don't know what to do anymore. This war is over, and there's no need for the Order anymore. Back then, when it was needed, I dreamed of someday spending the rest of my life with Allen, you know, after the war was over. But now that…now that he's dying…I don't know where I should go, what I should do." She said as she pulled her legs up her chest, her chin now resting on her knees as she looked to the ground sorrowfully. "I feel so lost."
"A word advice, though whether you choose to listen to it or not is up to you. You should quit listening to your head and start listening to your heart."
"Yes. Your reasons show prior use of thought when the decision should really be clear and unquestioning to you. That's why you should always stick with your heart's decision, despite the fact that it may seem so out there and highly illogical. It's supposed to be like that though, otherwise we would never take the time to listen to it. And it's always ultimately right."
"They teach you that back at Central?" asked Lenalee, amazed by the mirth of knowledge the inspector had towards a subject that was so unpredictable and different in everyone.
"No, I learned it from my time spent here, watching you all. And…from Allen himself. He showed me that not everything is based on logic."
"I see…so you think I should listen to what my heart has to say?"
"Absolutely, your heart can never go wrong. Listen to it closely though, because sometimes it's answer might come out as a whisper in comparison to all the other opinions your logic holds."
He then got to feet, slowly smoothing out the creases in his pants before stashing away the bag of cookies. Clearing his throat soon after, he bent down and offered a hand to Lenalee. She stared at it with uncertainty, indecision in her eyes as she looked upon it before looking at the gate opposite of the Inspector.
"In time I hope you learn to trust your heart and not your head. Sometimes a little whisper can go a long way. And note that, whatever it is telling you to do, I'll always be here to back you up every step of the way."
His statement caused to her blush, the words reminding her of something Allen would say. Looking back to him, her breath caught in her chest as Link's image was replaced with that of Allen's, his hand being the one that was outstretched to her instead of Link's. A carefree smile was on his face, eyes closed shut as he laughed lightly in his throat. Smiling, she wiped away the tears that had remained at the corner of her eyes before grabbing a hold of the hand that was offered to her.
As she was pulled to her feet, the image of Allen disappeared, returning Link's image as he let go of her hand. The two stared at each other, a newly found friendship now forged between the two. Though, behind the cold and calculating stare, it was hard to tell. But the small grin that now rested on his face made it clear.
They had finally gathered an understanding between each other.
Several hours passed before the doctors evacuated the room, the operation over. All of them were exhausted and sadden, some of them supporting each other as they wept on each other's shoulders. This was hardly reassuring. At the sight of them exiting, Kanda, Lavi, Link, and Lenalee all perked up, Lavi and Lenalee rushing over as they inquired how their friend was doing.
"How is he?" asked Lenalee in earnest, her eyes pleading as she looked up at the Head Nurse. She harbored a look of sorrow as she clasped the young woman's hands in-between her own.
"We managed to stabilize his breathing and restore the failed lung but…we also learned that he's developed sepsis like symptoms. We don't know how much longer he has left to live. He may have a few hours or maybe even a few years, but the severity of his body already is frightening. Chances of survival are a million to one. I'm sorry…" she looked away as she finished, unable to withstand the deep sorrow and confusion that was forming in the young woman's eyes.
"What…what do you mean?"
"She means there's nothing more they can do. We'll just have to wait for…for him to give up." Answered Lavi sadly.
"Well, I don't see why it's something you all should be crying about. That boy was fated to die the moment he became an exorcist, as all exorcists were when they were chosen by God himself."
Everyone turned to see the sharp eyed Malcolm C. Leverier in the flesh, his face as cold and intimidating as ever. With arms crossed behind his back, he stepped out of the shadows and into the light, Lenalee cringing at the sight of him. Even to this day, she was still deathly afraid of him.
"Now then, the Pope himself has sent me here to retrieve the so called 'hero' of the holy war, and bring him back to Vatican City so that he may be honored for his righteous deed." He said, malice laced in his tone as he grimaced at his own instructions. Coming here for this lowly retrieval was so beneath him.
"I'm afraid you can't do that! Allen Walker is certainly in no condition for travel." Countered the Head Nurse, pulling Lenalee close to her as she moved to stand in front of the door way.
"But the Pope insists that he comes with me to Central in Vatican City just so that he can personally show him his gratitude. He never specified on what condition he wanted him in." He retorted coolly, a smile befitting a snake coming upon his face as he pushed passed the Head Nurse.
Making it inside the room, he looked down with narrow eyes at the slightly shaking form of Allen Walker, his body now covered in multiple blankets that would, in hopes, keep him warm. His half-lidded eyes were vacant, staring up at nothing as he went through the experiences of his memories. He was oblivious to the fact that any of them were there.
Malcolm looked to the machines he was hooked up to in disinterest, huffing as he turned away from him. Now staring at the group that was now cluttered at the door, he marveled at all the looks of fear he was receiving, their stares fuelling his malice. Who said coming here wouldn't be fun?
"Link, I hope that the packing has all but been finished. If so, then please gather up some of the present Finders and begin loading them on the carriage. We leave in about an hour." He instructed heartlessly, Lenalee's head turning towards the stiffening Inspector.
"You…knew?" she asked astonishingly, a sense of betrayal in her eyes as she stared at him.
"You knew this whole time and you didn't even bother to tell me?" she cried as she rushed out at Link, the Head Nurse grabbing a hold of her arms before she had a chance to lash out.
"THEN WHAT WAS THAT WHOLE SPEECH ABOUT LISTENING TO YOUR HEART? I THOUGHT YOU AND I WERE SOMETHING LIKE FRIENDS! I THOUGHT I UNDERSTOOD YOU, BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG!" she screamed out in anger, struggling to get out of the Head Nurse's hold.
"I meant what I said Miss Lee. I only speak the truth. I wanted you to learn from the mistake I constantly make. I have yet to listen to what my own heart says in favor of my logic. And every time I do, my envy over you all gets stronger." He explained sadly, his head bowed as he avoided her gaze.
"I have to say, I agree with you. At least, my heart does. But there is no way I can change, this is the way I am. Not everyone is as lucky as you Miss Lee. I'm sorry."
After that, he walked away, his direction suggesting that he was heading over to Allen's room. Malcolm watched in growing satisfaction, a hand running through the top of his hair before he turned back to the Head Nurse.
"Now then, how many nurses and doctors are you willing to spare for this journey?"
"This is insane! Didn't you hear me before? Allen cannot, under any circumstances, be moved from this bed!"
The argument continued between the two of them as Allen continued to lay there, engrossed in another memory that was subconsciously causing his eyes to water. Silvery tears could be seen accumulating at the corner of his eyes, slowly growing in volume as his mind continued to immerse himself with the heart wrenching memory.
Sighing in contentment after having devoured his beloved cake, he patted his stomach enthusiastically before turning at the sight of Lenalee wandering off, her disappearing form enticing him to follow. Pushing Tim away from his head, he stepped through the crowd of people enjoying themselves. None of them seemed to care that the birthday boy was leaving his own party, most of them unaware that he was leaving in the first place.
Following her trail as she continued keeping a distance of a dozen feet between them. Sometimes he'd lose her whenever she turned down an unexpected corner, but eventually he'd catch up with her again. But that was only when he found her standing outside on one of the balconies, her back to him. Sighing softly, he ran a hand swiftly through his hair before he joined her.
"It's getting kind of chilly out here. You should wear a jacket." Allen said, grabbing her attention by draping his tuxedo coat across her bare shoulders. Turning towards him, he gave her a smile before he went to leaning against the balcony railing.
"Won't you get cold?"
"Nah, I'll be fine."
She reluctantly accepted his excuse before drawing his coat in tighter, savoring the scent that clung to the fabric. He watched her out of the corner of his eye before directing his attention forward, amazed by all the lights coming from the city not too far away from them. It surely was beautiful, but not as beautiful as the person beside him was.
"So…what brings you out here? I figured you'd be inside enjoying all the food." Teased Lenalee, earning a mock look of hurt from Allen.
"Is that all you think of me?"
"Pretty much." She laughed as he hung his head in shame. But he knew she was just messing with him.
"Well, if you must know, I came out here because I was looking for you."
"I…I never got a chance to give you your Christmas gift and seeing as how we aren't exactly surrounded by a mob of people, I thought I'd give it to you now."
"Allen, you really shouldn't have."She brushed the topic away, her hands risen up in a declining manner as he stuffed his hand into the breast pocket of his long sleeve shirt.
"No, I insist. It is Christmas after all, a holiday of giving." He replied elegantly before brandishing a small box with a purple bow tied around it.
Hesitantly she took it out of his hand, her gaze falling to it as she slowly pulled the bow wrapped around it loose. Ribbon falling to the ground, she removed the lid of the box that revealed a pair of glittering earrings. In the shape of small butterflies, a small carrot of lightly tinted purple opal rested in the wings of the insect shaped jewelry. She was speechless. No one outside of her brother had ever given her something as beautiful as this before. Especially when it was coming from him.
"So…do you like them?"
"I love them…"She said wispily, her eyes fixated at the earrings until she felt a thumb brush across her cheek. Looking up, her and Allen's eyes met, their gazes locking with each other as his thumb came to a slow halt.
"You're crying Lenalee." He pointed out, a look of amusement on his face as his hand moved away from her face and fell to his side. They continued staring at each other, oblivious to the steady decent of snowflakes that began pouring out of the sky above. Then she remembered her present to him.
Perking up, she broke their caught gaze as she began digging into her purse for his gift. Curious, he watched her actions as her hand slowly withdrew from her bag, intrigued by the box that she held in her hand. It was about the same save as the one he had use, give or take a few inches, and was all black with a silver bow wrapped around it. Taking it from her hand gently, he pulled the ribbon off and allowed it to fall to the ground as he removed the top of the box.
Sitting inside was a silver locket attached to a thin silver chain. It glittered in the light of the moon, the silver shining because of it. A true smile played across his lips as he pulled the necklace out, discarding the box by placing it on the side railing. With delicate fingers, he opened the heart shaped locket to find a picture of the two of them together placed inside. On the other half of the inner heart, there laid an engraving, the letters curled slightly in elegant scripture.
Never forget the people you've met as you continue walking forward
"Allen…now you're the one whose crying." Giggled Lenalee meekly, causing his attention to return back to her before he began roughly wiping his eyes away of the tears with the back of his arm.
"I've…I've got something in my eye is all." He denied as he sniffled. Handing her the locket back suddenly, he bent forward slightly before saying, "May you put this beautiful gift around my neck."
Nodding her head yes, she delicately unfastened the back of the thin chain before bringing it around his neck. Once her hands got around to the nape of his neck, she refastened the chain, allowing the glittery metal to slide back down as it now remained around his neck. As she pulled back, she took note of a second thin chain hidden deep beneath his collar, hidden away from the naked eye while he wore this kind of outfit. She went to question it but once again, their eyes locked, their faces closer this time.
Lightly she could feel his breath fall upon her face, the sensation warm as it brought a little heat to her cold cheeks. They stared deep into each other's eyes, a sense of longing for the other hidden deep inside. Without realizing it though, they both began leaning forward, their eyes slowly falling shut as they did so. Their lips were hovering close together, his skimming hers slightly before he went in to close the distance. But suddenly, before he could actually kiss her, they were interrupted.
"There you guys are! I've been looking everywhere for you two." Said an exasperated Lavi as he came rushing over, the two of them pushing themselves away from the other hastily. "Come on, their getting ready to open the presents, and they need you there Allen. They're your gifts after all." Added the rabbit as he grabbed a hold of Allen's hand and dragged him away.
He watched Lenalee grow smaller and smaller as he pulled away, disappointment on his face. He mouthed an 'I'm sorry' to her before he was too far away, she shrugging her shoulders before blowing him a kiss. It wasn't as satisfying as the actual thing, but it still served the same purpose. Pretending to catch it, he held it tight in his free hand before bringing it up his lips, giving his gloved hand a kiss.
That had been their only moment alone together in months before the end of the war came. They had never gotten a chance to do that one moment over. No matter how much they longed for it.
end of flashback
Allen slowly blinked away the tears that had sat on the edge of his eyelids, causing them to join the one's that had. Senses returning to him, he could make out a word or two from the argument that was going on not too far from his bed. By now Komui and Reever were involved, the two of them arguing with Leverier while the Head Nurse took her place on the sidelines for now, comforting the devastated Lenalee. She had never seen her brother so angry before, especially when it wasn't about her.
"How many times do I have to say it Leverier, Allen is unfit and incapable of travel at this time. You're just going to have to tell the Pope that he is too sick and injured to come." Growled Komui, pushing back his glasses as they hung at the end of his nose. His eyes were filled with a fiery malice that was unbefitting him.
"He will have a bundle of nurses and doctors with him if something were to happen. The trip while take no more than 4 days at the pace we'll be going. The boy will be fine—" retorted Malcolm casually, as if Allen's welfare was nothing. As if he wasn't practically bleeding himself to death.
"Nonsense, he'll be fine. The best medical staff is currently located in Central. They'll think of something that'll save him while he's staying there." The two were glaring fireballs at each other at this point, neither willing to back down until an unexpected voice interrupted their argument.
They all turned to see Allen sitting up, his body curled over slightly as he winced in pain. Gasping slightly, he wiped away the cold sweat that was sliding down his face before turning to them all. What she saw made Lenalee cringe slightly, his current state more worse than the one she had previously seen him in. His face was deathly pale, dark circles starting to form around his eyes as they started to sink in slightly. The sweat on his face was causing his hair to cling to the surface, his body shaking slightly due to fact that he felt strangely cold even though the Order itself was usually kept warm.
"…I'll…go…" he said, causing them all, Leverier included, to look at him in surprise, eyes wide in shock.
"What?" asked Leverier, as if he needed to here it again.
"I said…I'll go. I'll go to…Central…with you."
"I see." He replied, a note dissatisfaction in his voice as straightened up stark straight. He had hope he would put up a fight but this would have to do. At least he accepted this.
"Allen, you don't have to do this!" stated Komui desperately, sadden by the look of resolve that showed in his sunken silver eyes as he turned to look at him. "As the Black Order's Head Nurse, I advice that you not leave this bed." Added the Head Nurse, her hold around Lenalee slackening as she slowly pulled away.
"I know…I don't have to…But I don't want…to just…lay around here and wait…for myself…to die. Nor do I…want you all…to watch me wither away. Whether my time to go is in…a few hours or…a few days, I still want to enjoy it…as much as I can. Even if it means…going away for awhile." Said Allen in a slow and tired voice. His comment had caused the Head Nurse to suddenly begin crying, his twisted bravado startling as she rushed out of the room. She wasn't going to waste her breath arguing with her patient. His mind was already made up.
"Very well…I'll go see to the preparations for a comfortable departure. Reever, will you come with me." Said Komui in a flat tone before gripping said person's shoulder, the two of the departing afterwards. Leverier took a moment to study Allen before walking away as well, more than likely checking up on Link and informing him of the current situation.
Huffing as he struggled to catch his breath, Allen curled up more as he struggled to keep himself warm when he felt the heated blanket that had once been over him get draped across his shoulders. Looking to the side, he saw Lavi looking at him solemnly. He couldn't say he totally agreed with Allen's decision. After all, he practically had both feet in the grave. There was no way of prevent a dying man's death.
Lenalee stood near the door, her back to him as she kept her forehead pressed to a wall, the only thing keeping her from falling to the floor. She couldn't bear to look at him at the moment. His words had pierced her heart, splintering it into pieces as it barely remained intact. How could he just go away like that, while none of them knew how much longer he had left. It was selfish. But then again, dying was pretty selfish too. Either way, he would be doing a pretty selfish thing, but it was one or the other.
"You do know you're dying baka moyashi. There's no way you'll be able to survive a 4 day trip to stupid Central."
"I know I'm dying, I'm not stupid bakanda."
"Tch to you too."
"When you will you ever learn that my name is Allen. You've known me for how many years now and you still can't learn a five letter word. You're the stupid one bakanda."
"I'm going to—" growled Kanda as he went for Mugen until he stopped his sentence suddenly, catching himself before it became too late. Grimacing, he relaxed his hold from Mugen's handle and turned away, ending their little dispute at that.
Allen sighed, a little thankful that Kanda hadn't pushed it too far. Looking up, he laid his sad eyes on Lenalee's hiding form, his sadness increasing. Lavi took note of this and quickly concluded that he wanted to be alone with her.
"Come on Yu, I think there's some soba in the cafeteria with your name on it." Hinted Lavi as he brought a hand to his back and began leading him out of the room, leaving only Allen and Lenalee alone in the room.
Fare thee well
My one true love
Farewell for a while
I'm going away
But I'll be back
Though I go 10,000 miles
"Lenalee…please come here." Allen asked weakly, his earnest earning her attention as she turned to him stiffly. Forcing herself to walk forward, she slowly made it to his bed though she remained standing once she had gotten there.
"What?" she asked in a flat tone that was filled to the brim with her sorrow. It tore at Allen's heart. With a trembling hand, he wrapped his fingers loosely around one of her wrists and weakly pulled her down onto his bed so that they could now be at the same level.
"I know…that this isn't a decision…that you like…but it's my own decision. And I want you…come with me."
"I can't come with you Allen." She replied sorrowfully, her voice breaking as the tears returned. Her heart was steadily and steadily cracking, getting ready to shatter at any moment.
"Because this isn't meant to be. Don't you see, our paths were never meant to intertwine. We were never meant to be together!" She cried, crumpling forward so that she now cried in his lap. He looked down to her sadly, his eyes watering up as he ran a hand down the side of her face. Cupping her chin, he slowly pulled her gaze upward so that their eyes were level with each other.
"You think I care about whether or not we were fated to be together? I say, to hell with fate. There's no one else in this world that I would rather be with then with you." He said, Lenalee finding herself believing him. It was hard not to when his sunken eyes harbored a fiery spark within the depths of the tired grey pools.
Hand falling back to his side, he winced slightly before he went over to his exorcist jacket that hung on one of the bed posts. His bandaged hand dug into the bottom front pocket before he suddenly withdrew, having gotten what he desired. Loosely made in a closed fist, he shakingly brought it back before upturning his palm, his fingers uncurling to reveal a pair of silver rings, the more fragile looking one appearing in a light silver while the thicker one attached to a chain appeared to be made of darker metal.
"These are promise rings I got a while back. I…I was waiting for the right time to give you yours…but…it seems like now is the best time."
She stared down at his hand in shock, realizing that she had almost came close to discovering the pieces of jewelry a while back, back on his 18th birthday. With trembling hand, she picked up the smaller one of the two, looking it over before her eyes caught some scripture engraved on the inside of the ring band.
Wherever you go, I'm always with you.
Upon reading this, she threw her arms around Allen, crying into his shoulder as he struggled to hold her.
"Lenalee…I love you." He whispered as he too began crying.
She pulled back from him slightly, her eyes baring into his before the two of them leaned forward, their eyes falling shut as they finally kissed each other. A spark of passion ignited from the kiss, their longing for the other prolonging the kiss. But eventually it was brought to an end when Allen needed air. Looking down at the ring, she slipped the ring finger of her left hand before placing Allen's back around his neck, joining the locket that he had kept around his neck this whole time.
"I love you too, Allen." She said wispily, their foreheads pressing against each other as they stayed with each other until it was time to go.
"I'll come back to you someday Lenalee. And even if you don't wait for me, I'll return knowing you'll be here."
My own true love
10,000 miles or more
The rocks may melt
And the seas may burn
If I should not return
Allen was being pushed around in a wheelchair as he was lead to the carriage that would take him to Central. Nurses and doctors ambled around him as they made their last minute checks before boarding the carriage themselves, packed full of supplies in case something were to happen. The entire Order had gathered to watch his departure, most of them oblivious to the fact that he was slowly dying on the inside out. But he didn't let it show as he gave everyone a friendly wave and smile here and there, the people he had considered his family tossing down white roses in his honor.
Lavi watched from a balcony, Bookman beside him as he watched him solemnly. He had already said his goodbyes to his best friend. There was no need to do it again. As he leaned against the railing, his head resting on his crossed arms, he twirled around the Joker card that he had kept all this time. He thought about the time when they had all thought Allen was dead and how this card was the only thing that reminded him of the white haired exorcist. And of the time he had first met the Destroyer of Time.
"I'm Lavi, nice to meet you."
"…Nice to meet you…"
Funny how time seemed to move so fast. Sighing, he allowed a single tear to slide down his cheek before he suddenly let go of the Joker card, the wind carrying it away. He watched it go with his one eye, taking note of how it was pushed and pulled in the air before it slowly disappeared. And with it, his 49th alias. From this point on, he was no longer the person known as Lavi. Because 'Lavi' would always be with Allen, to the very end. He didn't need it anymore. 'Lavi' would always live on in all those that had considered him as their friend.
And in those he himself, as a person, considered to be his friends. He was human after all, and all humans had their flaws. There was no changing that.
Oh don't you see
That lonesome dove
Sitting on an ivy tree
She's weeping for
Her own true love
As I shall weep for mine
Komui was the only one that had greeted him at the carriage, the others having said farewell at the gate. That is, everyone except Lenalee. She was currently nowhere to be found. Ever since she had learned that there was no way she could come along, no matter how much they both pleaded, she disappeared without a word. It pained Allen that he wouldn't get a chance to see her again before he departed, the fact that he wouldn't see her vibrant violet eyes made his eyes water. But having said farewell would've caused the tears to be shed.
Bowing stiffly, Komui slowly rose up as Link helped Allen to his feet until he felt a weight press against him, a single arm wrapping around him. Surprised, he looked down to see Allen hugging him, a smile filled with gratitude and relief upon his face. Komui's features softened as a few tears slid down his face, his arms slowly wrapping around the smaller and weaker frame of the young man.
"Thank you, Komui. You've been…a great friend and I'm certainly glad I got to meet you."
"You know, you can still change your mind." Replied Komui as Allen pulled back, wishing that the boy could just stay even though he knew he wouldn't.
"I know Komui, and thank you, but this is what I want. Well…part of it at least. Will you tell Bak and the other's that I'm very grateful for all the help they've given me."
"You can count on it."
Smiling despite how odd it seemed while he still continued crying, Allen gave him a curt nod until he was lifted up inside the carriage by some of the nurses. Once inside, Link soon followed, closing the door behind him as Leverier jumped up onto the seat where the driver sat, deciding that that was where he would occupy for the duration of the trip. After a few words here and there, the carriage slowly and steadily pulled out, the horses sniggering as they were whipped forward.
Watching it go, Komui waved as the carriage started to get smaller and smaller as it drifted farther away. Inside, Allen waved back, returning the gesture his former leader was giving them until they were too far away to see each other. Sighing, he sat back, half of his face remaining pressed against the window as one of the nurses placed a couple extra blankets around him. He stared out of the window solemnly, wishing Lenalee had been there.
Thoughts of times as an exorcist crossed his mind as they made their way through London. How he had despised his Master and the Earl, and how he had desired to save the souls that were trapped inside akuma. He thought of the many battles he had fought, each one with someone different, each experience turning out different. Then his thoughts turned back to all the people of the Order, how they had cared about him just as much as a real family should. They had been his family, and the Order had been his home.
He never regretted becoming an exorcist, not one bit. Because it was who he was, it was what he had been destined to be. Nothing could change that.
"Allen…" He turned to Link, who had given him a gentle nudge before pointing out towards the distance. Following the direction, his eyes widened as he met the figure of Lenalee standing on a hill in the distance as they pulled out of London. A pack rested at her feet, a hand at the side of her head as she stopped her hair from flying out of control. She watched as the carriage drew closer, her eyes locking with Allen's as soon as it finally passed her.
"What do you think she's doing?" asked Allen as he moved to the back window just so that he could savor her image before she disappeared completely from his sight. Link stood behind him as an amused look crossed his face.
"She's following her heart."
Allen wasn't sure what he meant by that but he chose to go along with it. He gave her a wave, hoping that she would see it even though they were disappearing farther and farther away from each other. Instead of returning the gesture though, she brought a hand to her lips and blew him a kiss, just like she had that one night on his 18th birthday. Smiling in remembrance, he caught the 'kiss' and kept it in his clenched hand before slowly bringing it to his lips. Tears streamed down his face as she finally became too far away to see.
Where she stood, she could see the carriage for another good feet before it became blocked by the line of trees in the nearby forest. Sighing, a small smile graced her lips as she grabbed a hold of the pack. Turning away in a completely opposite direction, she looked over her shoulder before she began setting out, following Link's advice. For now, her heart was telling her to go. Where to, it didn't specify, all she knew was that she couldn't stay at the Order any longer. Not when there was nothing keeping her rooted there. Eventually, she walked off into sunset, listening to heart.
She knew she would see Allen again, in this life or the next. That was made clear when he had given her the promise ring that now glittered on the ring finger of her left hand. Their love would bring their spirits back together if and when he left this world for the realm belonging to God.
But for now, she was moving forward, her spirit sending her down a path that would eventually cross paths with his, the one she loved.
The Destroyer of Time: Allen Walker.
Oh come ye back
My own true love
And stay awhile with me
If I had a friend
All on this earth
You've been a friend to me
Author's Note: I'll attach the additional ending to this in a few days. I know I kind of P.O some people for not having it so…I'm going to do it. I tried fixing all my mistakes, but nobody's perfect. Please leave behind a review. I might add additional scenes to this as well but will just have to see.