Chapter 3 – Prayer (Secret Garden)
Carlisle's voice broke Edward out of his thoughts. Night had long since fallen and he was currently watching television with Jasper. With a questioning look, he turned to his adoptive father.
"I'd have thought you'd be with Bella. I'm surprised you're here."
"Bella… has been grounded," Edward said, wincing a bit. "Charlie wasn't too happy with her disappearance. I've been forbidden to see her, or so he says. But I might head over there later when they're asleep.
"Was there something you needed?" Edward asked when he saw Carlisle hesitate.
"Yes actually. I was looking for Harry. Do you know where he is?"
Edward glanced at Jasper and shrugged. "Don't know, maybe outside."
"Outside?" Carlisle sounded very upset. "Are you telling me that you left a broken vampire alone, outside, in a very strange and new country? Edward, you should know better than that."
Carlisle's raised voice caused Edward to tense.
"Hey, he's not my problem! You're the one who brought him here. I never wanted –"
"Edward, stop." Jasper interrupted quietly. He caught Edward's eye and shook his head. "I think you've said enough. I'll go find Harry."
After Jasper left, Edward turned back toward his father. "Carlisle –" he started again, but stopped, not knowing what to say. Carlisle was looking at Edward with disappointment in his eyes.
"Harry's scared, Edward. He's not had an easy life. Must you make it more difficult for him?"
Without another word, he left Edward to his thoughts.
- SR -
Tic tic tic…
The clock on the wall was driving Edward mad. Ten minutes had passed and Jasper had still not returned with Harry. Edward hated to admit it, but he was getting worried.
He felt incredibly guilty for arguing with Carlisle earlier. He wasn't sure what had overcome him, but he never wanted that to happen again.
Maybe it was a certain jealousy he felt towards the new vampire. Or a certain hate. Whatever it was, Edward didn't want his family to change. It was perfect right now: paired up and happy. Harry would ruin all of that with his presence alone.
Not to mention his instability. His mind was a mess, therefore bringing danger to the family. He knew Rosalie felt the same way.
But there was something about him that intrigued Edward to no end and that made Edward fear him all the more. Why would he be fascinated with a vampire who had a dark and dangerous past? He knew nothing about him, and yet he felt a pull. With a sigh, Edward headed outdoors to see what he could find.
Almost immediately he knew something was wrong because the woods seemed unnatural and terrifying. As Edward walked, cloaked figures glided past him and strange lights lit the earth with their deadly glare.
A chilling voice suddenly echoed off the trees, causing Edward to shiver.
'This message is for you, Harry Potter.' The voice said slowly, before giving off a high-pitched laugh. 'Harry Potter, I know you're there!'
Suddenly a different voice spoke. This one sounded more normal, but no less terrifying. 'The mudbloods are acting up, my Lord. Especially that Granger girl.'
'Kill them! Kill them all!'
Edward jumped with shock as green light flashed all around. When the light disappeared, his eyes fell on shape huddled against a tree. Harry's knees were curled up to his chest, his face buried in his knees. Edward saw that he was shaking.
Edward's irritation with Harry left him so quickly that he felt an aching guilt. After a helpless glance at Jasper, Edward sat down on Harry's other side.
"Harry?" he questioned quietly, not knowing where to begin. "Who was that man?" Edward hadn't meant to ask that, but it was the first thing that came to mind. He was surprised, then, when Harry gave a muffled reply.
Edward reached out to squeeze Harry's hand. "Who, Harry?"
Harry lifted his head and stared at something only he could see. When he gave his answer, Edward didn't interrupt him.
"He's the Dark Lord Voldemort. A part of him lies inside of me, growing no stronger and no weaker. While I live, he cannot die."
The three vampires sat there for the longest time, two of them contemplating Harry's words.
- SR -
"Harry, I thought I'd find you here! You like this garden, don't you? You're out here quite a lot." Carlisle's warm and cheerful voice drifted across Harry's ears. He was pleased to see Harry answer with a smile.
Harry sat amongst the roses, although Carlisle saw many things that shouldn't be there. There was a broomstick, for instance, near the lilies and a cat wearing spectacles by the petunias. Something Carlisle knew to be a King Cobra rested underneath the weeping willow tree. But overall, Harry looked both happier and healthier than ever before.
"Do you mind if I join you?" Carlisle asked, testing Harry's response. Harry stayed silent, but when Carlisle sat he started speaking into the air.
"I like the flowers," he said with a quiet hum. "They were my only friends when I was younger. Aunt Petunia used to send me out to take care of them all the time."
"Harry, do you mind if I ask you a few questions? I'd like to try to help you if I can." Harry glanced at Carlisle, looking confused.
"Are you happy, Harry? Are you happy with your power? Can you control it?"
"Oh yes," was all he said.
Carlisle tried again, hoping to get a more elaborate answer from him. "Can you show me what you've created in this garden? Can you tell me what shouldn't be here?"
Harry looked around with an expression of concentration on his face. Finally he pointed at a single beetle with oddly shaped markings around its eyes.
"Anything else, Harry?" Harry shook his head as a no.
"Okay Harry, there's another thing I wanted to ask you. I'm going to give you a scenario. I want you to close your eyes and picture it in your mind, but don't create it with your power. Can you do this for me?"
Carlisle waited until Harry nodded before continuing.
"Imagine the universe. Can you see the stars shining?" Carlisle paused then and watched in awe as the air shimmered into darkness. Tiny stars twinkled all around. It was a beautiful sight, yet highly illogical because none of it should have been possible. Not in a million years.
"Now Harry," he continued softly. "What's going to happen next could never happen in real life. But see it in your mind as the stars burst into flames! One by one they take flight because they've transformed into butterflies!"
Carlisle couldn't believe his eyes. For Harry's gift was unbelievable, if not dangerous. Thousands of flaming wings fluttered around him, creating the most beautiful illusion he's ever seen.
"And then it started raining," Carlisle finished quietly. Soft droplets fell from the heavens as Harry opened his eyes. Carlisle could see the pain on his face as he watched a lone butterfly die in a puff of smoke.
Harry stood up then and glanced around, looking lost.
"I didn't mean… I didn't want –"
"It's ok, son. I know you didn't want to use your power then. But you did. That's why I'm here. I want to help you. There's one more question I need to ask. Just one more thing I need to know before I can give you answers. I need you to tell me what happened before you were turned."
Harry stayed silent and Carlisle sighed.
"Do you not remember, Harry? You have to remember, son. Please open up to me. It's the last piece of the puzzle. The most important one."
"I don't remember," Harry replied shakily, turning away. "And I'm not a puzzle! Please, just leave me alone." Carlisle watched Harry run off into the nearby trees.
"Oh Harry," he whispered to empty ears. "What has happened to you, child?"
- SR -
The Cullen's sat around the kitchen table discussing the most important thing in their lives right now: Harry. They all knew Carlisle had a talk with him earlier and they wanted to know what he found. After years of practice as a physician, Carlisle would know how to help Harry better than anyone.
"Well, I noticed two things about our young Harry today. I… don't believe he can distinguish between his reality and the true one. When asked to point out objects that didn't belong, he failed to do exactly that. I also believe that his mind is torn. There seems to be nothing separating his logic from his magic. That's why his gift is so out of control.
"What I need from you… from all of you," Carlisle said with a pointed look at Edward, "is to get him to open up. I need to know if he experienced any trauma before his turning. Was his mind broken before? Or did that happen from the bite. Only then can I accurately diagnose and treat him."
"What I don't get," Emmett said and they all turned to him in surprise. "I mean – why are his eyes green? That's not normal for a vampire. At least, not in my knowledge."
Before Carlisle could answer him, Jasper started explaining. "I know why. I looked it up after Harry came here. It's because he used to be a wizard. Isn't that right?" He looked at Carlisle for confirmation. Carlisle smiled softly before answering his brilliant son.
"Yes, that's correct. It's the effect his magic had on the changes. We had no magic when we were changed. We were, as Harry would say, muggles or non-magic folk." Before Carlisle could continue explaining, the ceiling started raining on them.
"Oh dear," Esme murmured in amusement as they all glanced skyward. Harry's room was directly above theirs.
"I'll check on him," Edward voiced before he could stop himself. He could feel Carlisle's eyes on him the entire way up the stairs.
- SR -
Edward stood outside of Harry's door for a long time, listening to the pure sounds of a flute. It was a sailor's lament, he recognized. In early history, whenever sailors lost their loved ones to the sea, they would play this tune.
Harry played it beautifully. Edward had always prided himself on showing emotions through his music, but Harry's emotions just bled through. For whatever Harry lacked in person, the same could never be said for his music.
Edward was sad to interrupt him, but with a glance at the soaking wet hallway, he knew he had no choice. He knocked and listened for a reply. Not a word was said, so he opened the door and instantly regretted it.
For inside Harry's room was a maelstrom! Harry sat on top of his dresser with the roaring sea all around him. The force of the waves knocked Edward backward as he glanced up fearfully at the lightning.
"Harry!" he called over the crash of the currents, but Harry didn't seem to have heard him.
"Harry," he said again, this time in a gentle voice. "Take a walk with me?" Harry instantly locked eyes with Edward. Edward was shocked to see desperation clearly written there.
"Take a walk with me, Harry. Please?" Edward held out his hand and hoped that Harry would take it.
- SR -
The forest this night was calm and beautiful as Edward and Harry walked side-by-side. Neither spoke, but that was okay. Because Edward was in awe of the way Harry's footsteps lit up the ground.
'He truly is an angel', Edward thought, mesmerized. 'A fallen angel. A broken one.'
Finally they reached a clearing and Edward stopped. A ring of trees surrounded them; the stars reflected overhead. It couldn't have been a more perfect place, but Edward was hesitant to bring up the questions he needed to know.
"Harry?" Edward asked, barely recognizing his own voice. He cleared his throat and tried again.
"You still remember, don't you? How many of your human memories remain?"
The answer was said so quickly and so quietly that Edward wondered if he had imagined it.
"Tell me," he breathed, not daring to hope. He stood for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, finally, Harry turned to him and started to speak.
"I was betrayed," he said simply, but as he said it something changed in the air. The colors of the night faded and voices began to echo throughout the trees.
'You've been keeping him as a pig for slaughter!'
'So the boy… the boy must die?'
"I didn't want to die. Someone told me to run."
'Who are you?' a human boy questioned, his voice painfully young.
'Why I am you!'
"And so I ran," Harry finished and Edward watched as images appeared out of thin air. The scene was gruesome, but Edward couldn't tear his eyes away. He saw a young boy get slammed into a tree before his clothes were torn off.
Long after the images faded did Edward dare to speak. He offered no words of comfort, no words of sorrow, but he gave Harry the truth.
"Carlisle has to know. No details, I promise you. I'll just sum it up. Is that alright, Harry?"
Harry stayed silent, but Edward knew he was listening. With a sigh, he glanced around at the forest and found the woods gloomy and depressing. The colors still hadn't returned to the earth. It was strange to view the world through a black and white film.
With a sudden urge to see Harry happy again, he voiced his thoughts. "Harry, listen to me. I want you to make this a happy place. Make it beautiful here. Can you do this for me?"
Harry frowned in concentration before Edward's eyes widened. The earth seemed to be shaping itself differently than before. Prehistoric flowers grew high into the air, their blossoms glowing pink and lighting up the night. With a sound of rushing water, a babbling brook appeared off to the side. A thousand fairies made their way into the clearing then. They circled the two vampires, all of them purple and blue, all of them chanting an eerie song.
It was the most beautiful scene Edward had ever witnessed. He'd gladly trade an eternity of years for seconds of this… paradise. The thought surprised him, but he pushed the feeling aside.
Edward moved in front of Harry then and grasped his hands inside his own.
"Thank you," he said, completely sincere. He watched Harry intently, mesmerized by how the fairy lights reflected off his face. "This can be our sanctuary. Would you like that?"
Edward stiffened ever so slightly when Harry collapsed against him, his face buried inside the curve of Edward's neck. After some time, Edward found himself relaxing, enjoying the feel of Harry's body against his own.
Edward swayed gently to the fairy's tune with Harry in his arms. Above them he heard a seagull's call. "Do you like oceans, Harry?" he asked quietly as to not break the magic in the air.
"Dunno, Edward. Never been to one. They always left me behind." Edward tightened his hold on Harry, knowing he wouldn't break.
"One day I'll take you there." Edward left his silent promise hanging in the air.
- SR -
Edward knocked on Carlisle's study door before entering with a rush.
"I found out about Harry's past! I just… thought you'd want to know," he finished lamely as his adoptive father looked up at him in amusement.
Carlisle set his book down and gave Edward his full attention. "Go on, son."
Edward took an unnecessary breath before plunging into his story. "Before Harry was turned he went through very traumatic events, both physical and mental. It seemed like his spirit broke and all hope died. I think he went crazy, Carlisle. And there was this voice…"
Edward trailed off, not knowing what else to say. That seemed to be all Carlisle needed, however, because he straightened up immediately.
"Of course! Why didn't I see it before?" Carlisle murmured to himself before turning back to Edward.
"The traumatic events of Harry's human life must have tipped him over the edge. Before he was turned, I believe Harry developed schizophrenia. When he became a vampire, the changes became permanent in his mind."
"So what are you saying, Carlisle?" Edward questioned, still unsure. "That I can't hear his thoughts because his mind is –"
"His mind was a mess, Edward. And still is a mess. He's probably rattling off more thoughts at one time than you can process. Hallucinations are also a part of this disorder, so that would explain the creativity with his gift."
"But can we cure him?"
Carlisle studied Edward's face for a long moment before he spoke again. When he did, it sounded like every word caused him pain.
"No. The only thing we can do for our young Harry is to make him more grounded. We need to make him accept the realities of this world. Right now he's living in the realities of his mind."