Finally, the long-awaited Axel story! It's kinda my own gift to myself on this very special day of my birthday. ^_^

Hee-hee…I'm of legal U.S. drinking age now, in the year of the Luxord. But don't worry; I'm not fond of liquor. Now if only we could cart Lux off to an AA meeting…Anywho, forgive the length of this. Axel's awesomeness would take a lifetime to write down, but I tried my best here to describe it all.

Disclaimer: I do not own Axel; plushies do not count as ownership.


Congratulations! You are now the owner of a remarkable AXEL unit! Please read through this manual to ensure of proper care and handling of your model.

Accessories

AXEL units come equipped with:

1. Organization XIII apparel, tailored specifically for him to fit his anorexic frame.

2. Instruction booklet on how to put his chakrams together and a sharpening stone

3. A lie-detector test

4. Arm floaties and an inner tube

5. Make-up kit

Common Personality Settings

Secret Assassin

Obvious Assassin

Enraged/Distressed

Taunting/Joking/Playful

AXEL units were not given the position of assassin within the Organization (oddly enough, that title belongs to MARLUXIA), although they will on occasion carry out underground orders to 'exterminate' a fellow member (compliments of SAIX units). During the Secret Assassin mode, they are very deceitful to others and will even play double-agent to ensure that everything goes according to plan. If you believe your AXEL unit is in this mode, isolate him from other units until you notice a more positive change.

The Obvious Assassin mode is, well…obvious. All pretenses of being nice to other units vanish and you might wake up one day with a terminated unit in your living room. Unfortunately, units can be booked for murder (if it's a person/animal), so again, if you see the early signs of the Assassin traits coming out (such as being overly chatty with units he's not regularly friends with), then relocate him away from others or power him down.

AXEL's are mainly happy units, but on occasion, they can become extremely Enraged or Distressed and conjure their chakrams to attack a victim. Along with this, AXEL's will begin to display their elemental power of fire. Keep all combustible things in distance locations of the house! And as with all extremely violent units, ensure that your home has the proper insurance on it in case such an incident happens.

The main mode of the AXEL unit is to be Playful. This may range from getting drunk with LUXORD or doing karaoke with DEMYX. Most often then not, it's pestering the ROXAS unit, but when he's not available, sometimes the XION unit will do. Often they are pranksters as well, so do beware of this, but if ever throwing a party, AXEL's make great entertainment.

Other Compatible/Incompatible Units

XEMNAS: AXEL has very little interaction with the XEMNAS units, even though they are the Superior of the Organization. Considering his double agenda though of working for and yet getting rid of the Organization, it can be assumed that AXEL does not like him, and even calls him 'Mansex' behind his back.

XIGBAR: Always in need of up-beat company, XIGBAR's make great friends. Try not to let them play games with each other when drunk though, since the loser might become upset and start a brawl with their element or weapon. Fire and arrow guns do not mix.

XALDIN: Another associate of the AXEL unit. These two are not really friends, but the quiet ways of the XALDIN make good for mature, calm conversations. And AXEL's love daydreaming about singeing off those sideburns.

VEXEN: VEXEN's are the single-most murdered off units due to the AXEL unit. These two are NEVER to cross paths!

LEXAEUS: AXEL's like to tease the LEXAEUS unit for their effeminate hobbies, mainly the crocheting. Often times the LEAEUS will simply ignore them, built with incredible patience for all occasions. Every so often though, it has been reported that an AXEL unit has a broken nose or a concussion (yes, units can get these) due to the LEXAEUS unit finally having enough. Subsequently, these particular LEXAEUS units are never bothered again. It might not be safe to own these two units together.

ZEXION: Unfortunately for ZEXION, they are also on the endangered species list when it comes to AXEL's. Keep both them and REPLIKU's away from ZEXION units! Not always do AXEL's kill them, but if not, they are constantly being harassed and the ZEXION's frustration may lead to a fatal battle between the two.

SAIX: The story between the loss of these two's friendship is a tragic one, a story that Enix/Disney is considering turning into a full feature film (also starring ROXAS as well). AXEL and SAIX were once best of friends, but alas, the SAIX units' desire for power, fame and fortune tore them apart. As AXEL stood alone in the rain, watching the bus drive off to Hollywood without him, he said goodbye to his best friend for the last time.

Of course this is NOT what really happened, but we're proud to pitch the summary of the movie to our buyers. In reality though, AXEL and SAIX units really are no longer friends and thus should never been in the same vicinity together.

DEMYX: These units are quite the lazy ones, and especially hate any sort of fighting (they can be emotionally sensitive to people yelling as well). But nothing is more fun to DEMYX units than randomly throwing waves at the AXEL unit. This is where the arm floats and the inner-tube become useful; AXEL units cannot swim. They also dislike water so much that they refuse to take classes to learn as well. DEMYX units delight in the fact that AXEL's are the only unit that they can easily defeat and won't miss a chance to shove this in their face. These two are friends, but try not to let the DEMYX unit soak him too much; AXEL's still have them beat on physical strength.

LUXORD: Another common bar buddy. AXEL loves to also watch LUXORD perform card tricks and to learn them as well. Sadly for these units though, LUXORD's do not like revealing their secrets and this can frustrate AXEL, and they might not speak to each other for a while. Soon enough though, they will resolve their differences and their friendship will resume.

MARLUXIA: The correlation between these two units is a difficult one. On orders from the SAIX unit, AXEL's were asked to eliminate MARLUXIA. But we're not certain if these two really hate each other. Rarely in fact do they cross paths, so it is up to the buyer as to if they want to have dual ownership of them or not.

LARXENE: This unit makes it no secret about her feelings for AXEL. Unfortunately for her, it would appear the AXEL units to not reciprocate these false emotions back (false because these are Nobodies). This doesn't keep her from trying though, so prepare for LARXENE units to stick very close to him as much as possible.

ROXAS: We're not exactly sure why, but it would appear that AXEL units get along the absolute best with ROXAS units. Perhaps it is because of the past friendship between the LEA and VENTUS units. Tragically though, AXEL units will combust themselves if ever without a ROXAS unit for too long, so always make sure you get a ROXAS unit if you have an AXEL. Strangely enough, this does not have to work the other way around.

XION: This is the second closest friend of an AXEL units'. She, he and ROXAS often enjoy having sea-salt ice cream on the top of tall buildings. This is actually illegal in most cases, so try to point your units to a high, natural environment, such as large hill or cliffs where mountain bikers might go or such.

Handling and Care

Since the AXEL units play multiple roles within the Organization, they often like to sleep in whenever possible, so do not disturb them. When they do awaken however, there's no need to cater to them, since they enjoy being self-sufficient. They will cook for themselves as well…although AXEL's like to lay on the fire a bit strong, so it might be best to never let him cook for you. Another issue some owners have complained about is that these units have a tendency too cook in their bare underwear (getting dressed after they've eaten), so if this is going to be a problem for you, enforce a rule in which he must remain dressed at all times. We can't guarantee he'll listen, but it's still worth a try.

The most difficult aspect of the AXEL units is perhaps making them bathe. Their hatred of water might mean short, rushed showers that don't quite do the job. If you'd like, get a DEMYX unit and make him perform the 'Dancing Water' technique on him; the pressure from this move should effectively clean these units.

The purple markings on the AXEL units' face are permanent; the strong eyeliner however is not. A makeup kit is provided for repairing this look, but if you're having trouble, borrow a MARLUXIA unit and he will do it for you. In fact, he'll redo AXEL's hair as well.

Even when not fully in the Assassin modes, the AXEL unit might start showing some suspicious activity, perhaps plotting to annoy or bother another unit. If you believe this is so, perform a lie detector test on him. Although these are just models, they still can show the same symptoms a human will show when being untruthful. Still, sometimes the results might be a bit skewed. If you believe this is so, enlist the help of a LARXENE unit; they get a sadistic enjoyment from harming others.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: My AXEL unit insists on cooking dinner for my family, but he always chars it. We try to tell him we'll do the cooking, but he becomes belligerent if we don't let him, or in the worst cases, emotionally depressed. How do we make him happy?

A: Give AXEL some cooking lessons, or kindly explain to him that your human stomachs cannot process food that is too well-done. Hopefully he will either become a better chef or catch the hint that he will have to prepare meals for himself only.

Q: Every night, my AXEL unit will go to bed in his own room. Every morning though, we find him in our ROXAS units' room. It started out with him on the floor in the room. Then he moved to the day bed. Then he moved to being actually in the bed with ROXAS. Then ROXAS moved to the daybed. AXEL followed. ROXAS then moved to sleeping on the floor; AXEL did so as well. Then it got weirder…he'd stand outside the bathroom door when ROXAS was in there showering and just stare at the door, completely unmoving. Our ROXAS unit goes to a public school, and our AXEL unit would follow, but never walk beside him. He'd just trail after him. ROXAS has become so paranoid about all of this that he keeps his Keyblade out and ready at all times, even sleeping with it. I know that these two are supposedly close, but I think AXEL has breached their friendship.

A: We're not sure what causes it, but sometimes the AXEL units will develop very strong emotions toward a ROXAS unit. Get your ROXAS unit a can of Rapist-B-Gone to spray in AXEL's face should he ever be pestered again. This does not mean they cannot be friends, but unless you don't mind them having a slightly pedophilic relationship, your AXEL unit actually wants something more.

Q: One day when walking by the entrance to my basement, I heard some noises behind the closed door. I opened it, and was shocked to find a group of KAIRI and NAMINE units down there! Reports of them missing had been spread about, but I never thought that my AXEL unit was the one kidnapping them! When asked why he did it, he simply said, "I wanted to see Roxas one last time." A month before all of this, our ROXAS unit ran away and we could never find him. Shortly after the basement discovery…AXEL terminated himself in the back yard. I've been really troubled from this event and as much as I want another AXEL unit, I'm scared it'll happen again. What should I do?

A: First, seek emotional therapy. Second, it is safe to get another AXEL and ROXAS unit, but make sure you put our new tracking devices on them (and suggest it to all your friends and family who might own a unit), so that you never have to lose them. Also, make sure you register your model online, so that if anyone else finds them, they can return it to you. We are extremely sorry that you had to go through this awful occurrence, and we offer our most heartfelt condolences.

Q: Our AXEL unit likes to drive. Actually, that's an understatement; he loves to drive. Fact is, he's terrible at it. He has a need for speed and finds it the coolest thing to weave in and out of traffic, especially if he's running from the police. I've tried to teach him the proper way to do things, but he'll just randomly yell, "BOR-ING! Let's go fast!" and then just punch the gas pedal. Sadly, last weekend he crashed the car. When the police notified me and I arrived on the scene, they were just pulling him out of the wreckage. His exact words were, and I quote: "Whoo, that was fun! What else can I do?" They booked him and charged us as his owners for the damage. We're quite sick of his hyperactivity and are seriously considering just powering him down and never turning him on again. Is there a way we can recycle him as trash for money?

A: Laws have now been set in place that abuse of a unit is equal to abuse of a child. Please simply return your unit to our warehouse, and we will give you a partial refund. In hindsight, please do more research on a unit before buying one. May we suggest the much more mellow LEXAEUS units? Or even better, a ZEXION unit. Either or, (or even both) are less likely to cause you any trouble.

~.~.~.~.~

We sincerely hope this guide has proven helpful to you. Many well wishes and thank you for buying from Enix/Disney Inc.!


Okay, so maybe Axel isn't the greatest of units to own…but hey, Ax is a complex guy. We love him for it though, ^_^

Reviews much appreciated!