I Don't Want You
I really love this peaceful life; the fresh air of Cliff Village, the friendly nature of the citizens, the delicious food Lynn makes for me, the serene environment and Aera, my one best friend in the world. Well I assume that is what she thinks but really…………I don't know when I fell in love with her. I would've never thought I'd come to like anyone in my entire life especially not a human! I had suffered at their hands before, I hated them so much, I detested them. Their very existence makes my blood boil and to think that I've been living with them for so long as well. However I don't seem to mind this village as much, if I did I'd just have to hide it because I have to be cautious not to let people know Lynn and I are Summon Beasts. I wonder if it's because she's her. Aera, she is the clumsiest, loudest, rashest, and most stubborn person I have ever met in my life. She isn't cute at all and yet….I don't know how I let myself be captivated by her. Is it because of her determination and bright disposition that made me this way? Lynn often told me that I've begun to talk a lot more once I met her. We've been together since we were kids, it was only natural for us to be together. I am her very best friend in the whole world and she is my most important person.
Really? Someone like that?.....Like Aera
Although if I have to be very careful not to say anything strange in front of her otherwise I'd ruin this 'perfect' relationship we have now. I think I'll be fine, I haven't fallen for her enough to lose control over myself. I think it'll be pretty easy to play along with her 'best buddies' story. I've been doing it for a number of years now, and I haven't revealed anything about my true self to her either. I know the time will come one day and when it does, her trust will be shattered but Aera is far too kind to be able to hate me. She is too predictable, it's quite amusing actually; her facial expressions, her reactions, her language, it's all so interesting. I can't let myself be sucked in by her any longer; I have to keep a distance but one close enough to be able to maintain a healthy friendship. I must admit, this does hurt a little at times but it's the best for everyone. It's just taboo for a human and Summon Spirit to be together, when I think about it like that it doesn't hurt as bad because I know even fate is against it.
So it is wrong to be able to 'want' her, then I must not.
I don't know why I spend days like this just thinking about such useless information. All I need to do is 'live' until that day comes right? Until the day where our world will start falling all around us and the chain that links us together will be broken. I wonder……..when will that time arrive? It's not as if I want it to come faster. I actually want time to slow down so I can spend more time in this peaceful life of mine. I'm very content just living a very ordinary and mundane life, even though hardly anything exciting happens in Cliff Village, seeing her face every day is enough to sustain my boredom.
I've often asked Lynn if we could move to another place. We could make up an excuse that she has a disease and needed to travel somewhere else to improve her health. If not I could've always thought of another excuse, fooling humans wasn't all that hard but Lynn would always reply with the same question. "Do you really want to leave?" Then I'd reflect back on what I have said and shake my head lightly. I wondered why I never just nodded……it must be because of that girl again. I'm sure that if I left she'd be sad for a certain period of time and move on, all humans are like that. Just give them a number of days to get over a lost item, or a number of months to get over a broken relationship or a number of years for death. Humans are so easily influenced, say one thing and they would immediately take it to heart. I suppose Aera isn't that much different from the either, after all she is still a human. I would love to think that she was different from the rest of them but it's not possible. She is weak like them and lets her emotions sway everywhere, quite a handful really. If I beat her in a duel she would always pout and pretend to be 'cool' about the whole thing. It amuses me how she thinks I can't see through her, Aera is so dense. Every time she makes food for me, she would always sit there in excitement waiting for my reply. I teasingly tell her it needs improvement and it tastes like crap each time. Her angry expression and the way she sticks her tongue out is so cute. They way she snatches the plate out of my hand and yells she'd never make me anything again is also funny, especially when she hands me more food the following week.
Heh, she really is cute.
Sometimes she can be predictable and sometimes she can surprise me beyond imagination. Like how she tried to get me to wear a bracelet to 'prove' our friendship, of course I refused immediately to wear such a odd looking thing. Most human girl's would've thrown a fit and threw the bracelet at me while running away crying or they'd happily accept my decision and tell me to 'think' about it. Aera however had the most unusual reaction……she kicked me in the….the place where the sun doesn't shine until I fell to my knees, then slipped the bracelet on my right hand. I remembered looking at her satisfied smirk and the words she uttered to me "Wear it or our friendship dies…..along with you." Ahahaha….that was quite a sight; I had always thought she was just a bubbly, young girl up until that moment. That's when I realized that this girl was also quite stubborn and aggressive. She can act cute and girly one moment but determined and like a 'hero' the next. She really is interesting; I suppose that's why I chose her to stick around all these years.
Falling in love with such a girl is really quite troublesome. I can't say that I would want to spend the rest my life with her, I think that's be taking it a bit too far. I don't want her to be my 'girlfriend' or whatever these humans call it but I don't want anyone else to have her either. I guess this is what you call a hypocrite, being around humans for so long has made me gained their obnoxious features.I wonder her someone like he can stand to be around me for such a long time. Personally I think I'm quite intimidating and as people call it 'anti-social'. Strange though, Aera tells me that a number of girls like me though….strange isn't it. How can human girls be so blind? I guess Aera is the only realistic one because she doesn't possess these feelings for me…..which is slightly disappointing I must say. Those girls just probably feel attracted to me because of my looks, I mean I can't say many like the way I speak. Only Aera has ever said that the language I use to entertaining. She says its funny because I'm not saying what I truly feel and only spewing kinds words to people. It's only around her that I can say whatever I want. With others I have to watch what I say even if it sounds fake and my voice is as cold as ice. Only Aera....
It can only be you huh.
Really that girl….. When will she understand my feelings? Haha never I guess…..because I never told her about my feelings. They will forever be remained locked within me because once they are released there is no taking them back. I fear the unknown. No, I fear Aera's reaction. If she looked at me with eyes filled with disgust and shock, if she backed away from my presence to turn around and run, if she would no longer even glance at me when we walk past each other….I don't think I'd be able to handle that. So this means I can never tell her about my 'real' self as well, it's regretful but true. There is no way she wouldn't be devastated that I lied to her all these years, human relationships are built on trust after all. So to prevent this trust from falling apart I must not get too close to Aera, this means I can't want her…..no I DON'T want her. I don't want Aera......
Ahhhhh….I really feel hungry now, after all this thinking. My stomach can't take so much brain power in a day. Now what is it that I want to eat?........................................................................................So what is it that I want......to eat?
"Ryouga? Ryouuuuuuga" It's that voice again; sweet, bubbly and slightly annoyed. I would be able to recognize that voice anywhere. "Neeeeeee, wake up! I want you to try this curry Orin taught me to make."
"Hehe, I'm pretty sure it'll bad," I smirked and looked up at the pouting figure blocking the sun from my eyes.
"Ehhh? You bastard! You haven't even tried it yet? I'm sure it'd be better than just lying here doing nothing on the grass!." She yelled and started throwing her weak punches in my direction. She truly is amusing.
"Hahaha, ok ok I'll eat it." I picked up her curry and took a spoonful, all her cooking actually taste pretty decent. "Gross. Are you trying to kill me you idiot? Gosh, are you really a girl? You're cooking really sucks!" but I could never tell her that he cooking tasted fine, otherwise I'm afraid this tiny gap between us might close.
"What? I thought it tasted alright this time." Looking confused she took a bite of her own creation. "Maybe, it's just me then….or maybe it's because you have no good sense in food." She laughed a little and smiled at me while holding the boxed lunch closer to my body. "Want more?"
"Yeah…..I want it."