IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE: So after re-reading this I found myself cringing over the many mistakes and plot holes that I had left in this story. So I've re-edited the entire story and hopefully you find this to be a more enjoyable reading experience.

Title: There's No Such Thing as a Hot Grandpa

Summary: Grandpa, an old man who is two generations older than you and turns up to family events smelling of tobacco and scotch. Doesn't really describe Edward does it? It will now. Follow Edward and his fifteen year old make their way through life as patterns of family history begin to repeat themselves.

Rated: M because well we're going to be talking about making babies here!

Pairings: EXB and RX? Everything will be clearer in the end.

Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are those created by Stephanie Meyer, but Dylan is all mine people!


"Renesmee, Baby Girl, are you okay?" I asked as I knocked on my daughter's bathroom door. This morning was the sixth morning in a row when I had woken up to the sound of her puking.

The toilet flushed a minute later and she appeared at the door looking slightly flushed herself after being sick. Her hair sticking all over the place much different to the usual way she styled her hair.

"I'm fine Daddy, just girl stuff." She said as she pushed past me. I grabbed onto her hand and pulled her into my arms wanting to cuddle my baby girl. I don't know why but whenever she was sick I suddenly saw her as my little baby again who I needed to cuddle and be kept safe.

"Do you want me to get the heating pad?" I whispered as I held her. Being a single father we had sort of established over time that my duties when it came to the time of the month were simply to make sure there was enough chocolate in the house and have the heating pad readied with some pain killers.

It worked well for us and it meant I wasn't too involved in the process.

"No, I'll just take two pain killers before school. I'll be fine." She said with a shrug, she was never one to whine and often chose to soldier on through being sick. I gave her a quick squeeze before letting her go get ready for school.

I went into my own bedroom and got ready for work before heading downstairs.

As I walked into the kitchen I hit the button on the answering machine which sat on the kitchen counter. The light was flashing so I knew we had messages.

Renesmee's voice rang through the room, she had recorded the greeting.

"Hi you've reached Edward and Renesmee. Dad is probably too busy avoiding you or I don't care who you are so please don't leave a message. Unless you Mike Love you."

"Renesmee!" my voice yelled before the machine cut off.

The messages then began to play.

"Hey Baby, its Mike. We got held up here in Alaska for an extra day so you're going to have to catch a ride from your Dad. Love you Babe." The voice of the little twerp who for some reason I let date my daughter rang out.

Ugh Michael Newtown had been a thorn in my side for about six months now ever since he weaselled his way into my daughter's life. I know what you're thinking what father of a fifteen year old doesn't hate the daughter's boyfriend but Mike just wasn't the kinda guy I wanted Ness to be around. He acted like he was better than half this town when really everybody was just the same. Ever since she had gotten with him Ness had gotten a bit snooty and I had to take her down a few pegs and remind her we didn't always have it easy in life.

I was just fifteen years old when I was told that I was going to become a father. Victoria, Renesmee's mother was a girl a year older than me in school but we had slept together at a party and started dating. Once she found out about the baby she wanted an abortion but I convinced her not to. My family didn't believe in abortion and I knew I wanted this baby. Once Renesmee was born I filed for full custody of my daughter and Victoria quickly handed her over to me.

We heard from her every so often, usually when she needed money. Victoria and I had tried to make it work for Ness' sake a couple of times but it always ended up the same, me alone with a little girl wondering where her Mommy went.

For awhile we didn't have a lot of money, the only help I took from my parents was child care while I went to Night school and worked three jobs so I could afford my first apartment.

I eventually got out of school and now owned an architecture firm with my brothers. I built this house when Renesmee was nine. Sometimes it was hard to believe how far we had come, but I always wanted to make sure that Renesmee respected all the hard work it took to make the life we now had possible.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when a second message started playing out of the machine.

"Hey Edward its Bella, cute answering machine. Renesmee is so funny. So I had a great time the other night and would love to go out again sometime, you have my number. Bye." Her beautiful voice said before beeping out.

I had met Bella Swan a couple of weeks ago, after making quite an idiot of myself in the grocery store by knocking over a display of tampons. Apparently physical comedy was the way to a woman's heart because she gave me her number and since then we had gone on a couple of dates.

She was a single parent too and while her son was a bit younger we still had a lot in common, she had recently moved to the area and was working as a doctor in the local clinic. She was amazing and beautiful, so I was really enjoying getting to know her. I hadn't really dated much in the past couple of years what with Victoria sporadic appearances and the difficulties of raising a little girl single handed. But I think I was ready now and I really wanted to make a stab at this with Bella.

Apparently I wasn't hiding my happiness about Bella's phone call very well. Renesmee noticed my smile the minute she walked through the door.

"She called?" She asked excitedly and I tapped the side of my nose. "Agh! I am so happy for you!" she said coming over and wrapping her arms around my waist. "Daddy this is great!"

I hadn't told Ness much about Bella, except that I like her. I didn't need to my daughter to know everything about Bella until I decided how serious I was about this. That didn't mean it stopped her from fishing for information.

"I thought so." I said hugging her with one arm careful not to drop my coffee on her. "Now come on get your breakfast, I'm taking you to school. Newton is stuck in Alaska for an extra day."

"Oh he called?" she asked looking pale again.

"Yeah it's on the answering machine." I said cautiously. Since she was a child she's been prone to fainting due to an underlying condition of anaemia. I reached for a painkiller and her iron supplement placing them in front of her. "Maybe you should get back into bed Honey." I said walking over and feeling her forehead trying to decipher whether she had a fever or not.

"Um no, I'm fine. Tell me about the brunette Dad come on." She said changing the subject as she swallowed the pills.

"She's great."I said simply not wanting to get into it too much.

"Like, she could be the one great?" she asked.

"A bit early for that don't you think?" I asked trying to deflect the question; I wasn't very comfortable talking about this with my fifteen year old.

"Come on, you've gone out on like five dates. You're obviously not in the friends zone, which I know was your biggest worry to begin with and she's as you said so yourself Dad great." Renesmee said and I shrugged not really knowing what to say.

"I like her a lot." I said still not wanting to give Renesmee too much; I wanted to maintain some amount of privacy on the matter.

"More than you liked Victoria?" she asked, I had however braced myself for this question, my daughter was forever throwing me curveballs so I tended to be prepared for the more out there things. Renesmee knew the truth about her mother and didn't need me feeding her stories of how I was madly in love with her mother and she was a fully planned child or so she told me on her tenth birthday.

Renesmee has always been a rather opinionated child.

"A lot more than I liked Victoria Hon." I answered honestly. "I was a kid when I was with Victoria Ness, this just feels different." I said and she nodded. She had unfortunately seen the way I had let her mother treat us both in the past and she knew the issues I had with her mother. So to here I liked someone a lot more who I had only just met wasn't a complete shock to Renesmee.

"So when do I get to meet her?" Renesmee asked as we walked out to the car.

"Excuse me?" I asked sitting into the driver's seat.

"Well you got to meet Mike on like my first date with him and I have yet to meet Bella." She stated pulling out her phone and checking something. I swear to God it was glued to her hand, what do teenagers talk about 24/7, seriously how did they not run out of things to say?

"I'm sorry but do you decide my curfew?" I asked her smirking, I took a quick glance at her and saw she was frowning, her expression a little flushed. "Nessie-bear what's up?" I asked using a name I had given when she was born. "Are you sure you don't want to stay home?" I asked her.

"No Dad I'm fine, it's nothing I swear, Briona just texted me, we have a Calc test today and I'm completely stumped on the chapter so I'm not really confident about it." She said and I nodded, Nessie hated Calculus but stuck with it because she wanted it to look good on her college applications in a few years time. I admired her for that. I didn't go to University but I went to Night College while my mother babysat Nessie for me.

"I'm sure you'll do fine Honey." I said pulling up at the curb a little bit away from the school. I knew where the cool Dad zone and the nerdy Dad zone applied when it came to dropping her off at school, heaven forbid I ever parked up out front, people would see the Dad mobile.

"Bye Daddy." She said getting out of the car. As she did she practically walked into a guy, he was fairly tanned with short cropped hair. She took no notice and kept walking. I rolled my eyes and once she out of hearing range I lowered the window. The poor guy was standing there looking confused.

"Hey Kid?" I called and he turned to look at me. "I wouldn't take offense; she's got her head in the clouds." I called.

"Thanks Mr. Cullen." The kid said, obviously knowing who Nessie was.

"No problem, hey what's your name?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Jacob Black sir." He said politely.

"Tell Billy I say hi." I said I knew his father quite well; he used to manage my football team, before his accident. I didn't realise he had a son Nessie's age.

"Will do Sir." He said before I pulled out and headed to work, the fact that Nessie had been a little sick when I dropped her off weighing on my mind.

At least I know she would tell me if something were up.


"Hey this Mike leaves a message."

"Mike hey its Ness; please just call me baby I need to tell you something. I love you." I said before hanging up. I made my way into the school and quickly got my books ready for my next couple of classes. I was really dreading today; hopefully I was just over reacting.

I had a doctor's appointment later on today and hopefully by then all my fears will be dispelled.

"Hey Nessie." My friend Briona said coming over and hugging me.

"Hey Bri, what up?" I asked picking my bag up, I had to make it lighter than usual but it was fine, because I was so tired after getting sick this morning. God I hated throwing up.

"Did you hear Kelsey so totally got knocked up by John, what a whore? How can someone do that? But apparently her Dad got her older brother's after him and let's just say that's the only baby he's ever gonna get." Bri said and I giggled along with it, my stomach feeling slightly heavier as it did.

"Hey Bri, can you cover for me in Banner's today? I've got to go to the Doctor's after lunch." I said quickly.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked curiously.

"I just need to get my blood re analysed to see if my iron levels are good. No biggy." I said waving it off. We had been friends for so long she was used to me needing to get out of school for my doctor's appointments, what with my anaemia.

"Oh okay, Sure think Ness." She said before we walked into history. As I sat down I noticed Jacob Black walking over to me. "Oh God again, he's like stalking you Ness." Briona stated and I glared at her. I don't see why she had such a problem with Jacob I thought he was nice.

"Be nice Bri." I muttered as Jacob came over to my table.

"Hey Renesmee, Briona." He said causally and I smiled at him. He was a nice guy; I don't know why he didn't have more friends.

"Hey Jacob," I said, Briona murmured something that could be a greeting I'm not sure though "What's up?" I asked curiously, we had talked a couple of times but I think he made a point of avoiding Briona; she could be very bitchy at times.

"You dropped this earlier when you walked into Me." he said handing me my purse and I gasped realising I had walked into him early. My mind was so jumbled up right now it had barely even registered with me.

"Oh wow. Thanks Jacob. Did I? Where is my head these days? I probably just didn't see you. I'm really sorry." I said feeling bad. Jacob had recently transferred from another school in the area because our school offered better teachers and classes than his old one and he was having a hard time fitting in.

"That's okay. Bye." He said before sitting down at his own desk as the class began.

"What a loser?" Briona said before giggling. I did too but it didn't feel right.

The morning crawled along and by the time lunch rolled around I was ready to puke my guts up. I hid in the bathrooms before heading to Mrs. Cope's office. She was the school secretary and anyone who was leaving school had to go through her office.

"Hey Ms." I said clutching my bag strap, a nervous habit I suppose.

"Hello Dear, heading out for your check up?" she asked, I had to go once a month so she was used to me leaving school early. My Dad had talked to the school about it and I was pretty much allowed leave as long as I showed Mrs. Cope my appointment card. Because my appointments were so regular he couldn't always get the time off work to bring me. "It's a little early isn't it?"

"Um I have some important exams next week that I can't miss so I thought I would just go now while most of the classes are study periods." I explained showing her the appointment care and she just nodded handing me the register for me to sign myself out. Once I was done I handed her back the register and headed for the door.

"Good luck Dear." She said as I walked out of the school. I quickly walked the ten minute walk to the doctor's office. I pushed open the door and walked in. I usually saw Dr. Weber but I didn't want her knowing why I was here so I was planning on seeing the new doctor in the clinic, Dr. Swan. Briona had gone and seen her, a couple of weeks ago when she thought she had mono and said she was really nice so I hoped she would help me out with my predicament.

"Hey Nessie." Dr. Weber called from the front desk. "I didn't have you down for today did I?" she asked looking down at her appointment log confused.

"Um no I booked it with Dr. Swan because Ms. Flynn said you were booked up." I explained. Ms. Flynn was the secretary here who usually helped me schedule my appointments.

"Everything okay?" Dr. Weber asked curiously.

"Yeah I just have a hectic week next week in school with exams and stuff so I thought why not get the blood done now while I'm calm and all and unstressed." I said knowing this was exactly what she wanted to hear. Dr. Weber had been my doctor since she had qualified for her medical license. Her and my Dad had gone to highschool together and when she found out I needed to see a doctor regularly she was happy to help me out and schedule appointments around school and study.

"Good Girl, Dr. Swan is free now so just go on through." She said buzzing me into the patient rooms in the back. I nodded before heading into the examination room.

"Yes I know," I heard a voice say in a slight flirtatious voice through the door.

"So I'll see you tomorrow night?" the voice asked.

"Bye." It closed off before I knocked and walked in.

"Dr. Weber paged me in." I explained as I sat down.

"That's perfectly alright um... Ness is it?" Dr. Swan asked standing up and looking over my chart that I handed to her.

"Um yeah." I explained feeling awkward. I never knew what to say in these kinds of situations.

"Renesmee that must be a popular name around here." She said and I shook my head. She then looked back at my chart "Oh so you're Renesmee Cullen?" she asked a little amused.

"Um yeah," I repeated before suddenly word vomit and began spewing out why I had actually showed up here today. "Look I know my file is huge and yeah I now I need my anaemia works done but I have bigger problems." I rambled.

"What is it?" she asked suddenly looking very worried, she thought I was here for a routine check-up. Yeah not so much. "Is it a personal thing like, you know below the belt." She said tracing a line across her waist.

"Well it started there." I explained beginning to feel embarrassed.

"Sex? S.T.I's? Infection? No offense kid you have to talk to me if I'm going to help you." She said and I couldn't help but like her attitude she didn't make me feel dumb like some people do.

"I think I'm pregnant." I blurted out and her face fell.

"Oh," she said looking shocked. "Really?"

"Yeah and I'm so scared, what am I going to do? Mike's not ready for a baby." I began rambling.

"Let's just take a deep breath" Dr. Swan said and I sighed. "Now what make you think you're pregnant?" she asked me.

"I've been throwing up a lot" I told her "Plus my period's about two weeks late which never happens." I explained and she nodded.

"Have you taken a home pregnancy test?" she asked me.

"No, how the hell could I buy that in this town? Everyone would know before I got to the cash register." I told her.

"That is one of the disadvantages of living in a small town I'm afraid." Dr. Swan stated. "And you're period have never been late before?" she asked.

"No what the hell am I going to do? I want to go to college. My Dad is going to hate me..." I rambled off getting slightly hysterical. She walked around the table and knelt on the ground in front of me.

"Hey Edward isn't going to hate you." She said taking my hand into hers and squeezed it.

"Wait. How do you know his name is Edward?" I asked confused. "That's not on my form." I said glancing back down at my chart. She stood up and leaned against the desk again before taking a deep breath.

"I'm Bella." She explained and I felt like a tonne of bricks fall on me.

"Shit" I stated "Shit! I came to you because I thought Dr. Weber would tell Daddy if I came to her and now you're dating him, shit!" I cried, tears running down my face.

"Oh God." She said getting up from the desk again and hugging me. "You look like you need a hug." She explained as I cried in her arms. "Now Renesmee, there's no point in getting upset right now. This could just be a case of your period being a bitch. It's happened to the best of us." She explained as she unwrapped her arms. "I'm going to need you to pee in this and do a quick test that way." She said holding up a specimen cup.

"Okay" I said nervously.

"It's going to be okay Renesmee." She said.

"Okay." I repeated getting up and heading to the bathroom. When I returned I place the cup into a baggy and she sat it on the desk.

"I'm not going to tell your Dad no matter what your pee says." She said biting her lip crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"But..." I began when she shook her head.

"No, you can tell him, it's something you need to tell him. And if he decides he can't see me anymore because I didn't tell him I'll just have to make peace with that. You're my patient now and you come first. I would rather be the ex who helps you get through this than Dad's crazy new girlfriend who ratted you out. I wouldn't be comfortable with that. But I will be there with you if you want me to when you tell him for moral support." She explained. I nodded and she then left the room with the pee. I noticed she had different name on it and I would have to thank her for that later. She returned a moment later and sat at her desk.

"Thanks for doing this Dr. Swan." I said and she nodded squeezing my hand again.

"I'll put it on a rush. The test I'm running will definitely tell us if you're pregnant or not. It will take about two hours. Now I don't have any other patients for the rest of the day and I know for a fact that your Dad is in a meeting up in Seattle until this afternoon, so come on." She said standing up from her desk.

"Where we going?" I asked.

"To get a lovely new pair of shoes so that our feet will be pretty while our heads are thinking too much." She explained, she told Dr. Weber she was taking me home and she would be back in later to finish some labs.

"You don't have to do this Dr. Swan." I said as we got into her car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"One you can call me Bella and two I know I don't but I want to." She explained.

"Why do you want to?" I asked.

"Because I like your Dad." She explained "A lot. That's why. If I didn't take care of you now I would feel bad about it later even if it doesn't work out." She said and I nodded. "Plus I know what this feels like." She said looking out the window. I wanted to ask her more about that but she was being nice enough to me, I didn't want to pry.

"So I may have gotten pregnant and I get shoes? Isn't that rewarding a wrong?" I asked curiously.

"I suppose, but if you're pregnant then you won't be able to wear them because your ankles will be all swollen. And if you're not its congratulations you're not pregnant present." She explained as she drove in the direction of Port Angeles.

"Finally Dad picks someone with common sense." I muttered and she smiled.

"I'm glad you think so." She said looking straight on.

Review please.

Love The Irish Cullen.