Surrounded, Alone

It was always just me. One sunburned

Solitary boy, alone in a ravaged field.

Not even memories of my family to

Make my pain into a true tragedy.

My first memory is of stealing food.

The first human (besides myself) appeared. So

I killed him first; my mind flung

His bullets back at him. I didn't cry.

My war sunburn was permanent, a mark

Of the child the nun's wouldn't answer.

They couldn't answer me, the bright heretic.

No one had pity for me, because

Even then, I kept flinging people away.

I hid my power, but they were

Still afraid of me, of getting close

And being crushed on my steel barrier.

Once, a man, my "friend", pitied me.

He introduced me as his brilliant friend.

We were cordial and social as needed.

I was sure he hated me. For

I hated his pity, its condescending manner.

He had everything and tried to be

The best. He followed me to the

Base where we, and the rest, died.

I did all the work there, since

I was the computer genius. I was

Always fixing them for the other scientists.

I was a troublemaker, they grumbled when

I was out of the room, and I

Made no friends. I was the only

Person the government had forced to come.

A seventh one to outlive the six.

The drama of the base was predictable.

All the men were in love with

The most beautiful woman. Well, not me!

She had been cut off from people

But she was a living, ordained saint,

Forbidden to marry to preserve her holiness.

Holiness was arrogance. She grew plants, and

When they ruined the computers, I shouted

At her, the favorite, the pure woman.

I hated how she said my name.

We were the same, but she was

Revered, blessed by God, and I wasn't.

So when they discovered my plan to

Leave the base and descend to the

Planet we'd been observing, they jailed me.

So? Our planet had already been destroyed.

I was always destructive. I tricked and

Raped the pure woman. But she told

Them to release me, that we were

Engaged now. She forgave everything I did.

I learned that she was a cruel

Woman then. I told her I had

Raped her to hurt my so-called

Friend, to hurt her, and she smiled.

She took away my victory, acting strangely

With me. I played her game willingly.

We were both shocked when we

Heard my "friend" had died of

A virus we couldn't stop from

Eventually killing us all, trapped there

In our base. I cried for him

Like a child, though living is overrated.

Then two more died.

Four of us left.

The chemist tried to

Make a vaccine. But

The second woman

Died first, and

He was infected.

He gave me,

And my fiancée,

Whom he had

Loved, the vaccine

Before he died.

I was wrong

About them all.

I sobbed again

In her arms.

Two left.

But then.

More lies

Revealed. He

Had lied.

I got

That vaccine.

She died.

Now I live alone again, in a base, surrounded

By computers, the corpses of my crewmates, and my

Fiancée's beautiful plants. My hair grows long, and every

Day, I water her plants and watch that planet.

She told me not to kill myself, so

For nine years, I live with bodies and plants.

I have lost everything but my hope to finally

Die and be together. I die, alone for the