Sam was on the edge of sleep, that place where dreams interconnect with the sounds and movement around the sleeper, when a knock at the door startled him completely awake.
Dean was sitting up, a hand on a gun underneath his pillow when Lisa entered followed by Castiel.
"I thought I told you never to come back here." Dean said darkly, and contemplated how exactly he could take the bandage off of his hand and apply the bloody hand to the sigil that he had sitting next to his makeshift bed.
"Lisa called me here." Castiel said.
"Lisa?" Dean questioned feeling slightly betrayed by the only woman he had ever completely trusted.
She sat down on the bed next to Sam, licked her lips, picked at her nails and then finally said. "I can't do this."
"Can't do what?"
"You need to be out there, on the road fighting. You need to be doing that."
"I don't want to Lis…"
"That's a lie and the both of us know it. I talked to Bobby…"
"You talked to Bobby…?"
"Yeah, I called him a while back to see what I could do to help you find Sam. He seemed to be bound by the same promises you were." She turned to Sam. "When they promise you things, boy oh boy, even suggesting that they break it is something close to blasphemy. Remember that the next time you bind the two of them in promises." She turned back to Dean. "He mentioned that you send him hunts. That you looked up hunts in the newspapers, online, anywhere…and you sent them to him, so he could check it out."
"It was just because…"
"Because that's where you belong." The words hit home, she was right, but he couldn't leave her and Ben unprotected, couldn't leave the people he loved without a fighting chance for their own survival. He promised himself that no one else would die because of him. And that was a promise he intended to keep.
"I can't leave you and Ben unprotected, and I can't expect you to give up your lives to go on the road with me and Sammy."
Lisa licked her lips, looked to Castiel and then back at the brothers. "That's why I think it would be best if we didn't remember you."
"Come again?" Dean asked confused.
"I asked Castiel to wipe our memories of this time with you. That way we can't be used against you."
"You've sacrificed your whole life for the world, and no one sacrifices for the two of you. And giving up my memories…" tears crowded her voice. She composed herself and continued. "Giving up my memories of you, my love for you, is a weighty sacrifice, the only one I can make. But, uhhh.." She paused flipped her hair out of her face. "But…I think it's for the best. I think that is best for the world."
"You taught me Dean, all about sacrificing for the greater good. If I ever hoped to be a woman worthy of you, your love, then I should be able to do the same thing. And I am." She rubbed the tears out of her eyes. Dean knew she was serious, knew that there was no changing her mind, and that was a reason Dean loved her.
"His memory too."
"As soon as possible."
"Dean…" Sam started, Dean put a hand up and silenced him.
"This isn't my decision, or yours Sammy. It's Lisa's." Dean turned to her and asked. "Are you sure?"
"Keeping you all to myself is selfish. I can't live knowing that people may die because I was too selfish to let you go." Dean nodded, took a deep breath and looked at his brother.
"Let's get our crap packed Sammy. We've got to get out of here."
The Impala was packed and Lisa was standing at the door watching him put the last of his things into the old car. Dean slammed the trunk, checked to make sure that Sam was in the passenger's seat and then went to Lisa to say thank you and good bye.
"No goodbyes." She said. She tried to straighten the collar on his coat, and she smiled to herself. "I remember watching other women do this for their husbands when they went off to war. I never thought I would be a military woman."
Dean smiled sadly and put a hand on top of hers and squeezed "Thank you so much for all of this Lisa."
"You never thank someone for loving you." She said watching their hands. Dean looked up and kissed her.
"I love you."
"I love you too." Dean didn't bother telling her to say goodbye to Ben for him, in twenty minutes, Ben wouldn't remember any of their time together. He pulled away from her and got into the car and drove as fast as he could away from the house, because he was afraid that if he drove slowly he would turn around and not do this.
Lisa watched him go and tears flowed freely down her face. When the car was out of sight, she went inside and Castiel was standing in front of her. She wiped the tears from her eyes, steeled herself, and put on a brave face. "I'm ready." She said and Castiel nodded sadly, touched her forehead, and she forgot everything.
AN: Thank you guys so much for reading this story. I hope you all liked it!