5/18/10...

(Basically, this is what I gathered from re-watching episodes 19-20 of Wolf's Rain. This is the re-telling of Myu and Kiba in the false Paradise– none of the script belongs to me; I only added emotion and thought.)

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In the middle of a vast, barren dry land, full of cracks of sun-bleached bones of man and beast, grows a lone patch of tall grass. It grows as towering, thick stems, whose shade and comfort is welcoming from the hell-blazing sun above. However, if one is to sleep under it, they will never come out. For you sleep in an Eternal Garden.

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I had been searching for days for my friends, following the scent of Cheza...I followed it through the snow, and through the mountains, my body aching for rest long delayed. Then I came upon a desert.

In the middle of this desert I found a large patch of tall, thick grass, which seemed to provide a vast amount of shade. So went over to it. I did not plan to sleep very long. Only enough to rest, and start out again to find my friends, and Cheza. I crawled under the plant, and laid my head in it's welcoming shade, and presently fell asleep.

I woke up soon after, it seemed, and I came out of the shade, shielding my eyes from the white sun above. Looking around me, I noticed something in the distance. It appeared like trees, or mountains, very far off to my right. At first I thought it could just be a mirage. But I sniffed the air, and I knew it wasn't; I could smell the faint scent of pine, of animals, and of fresh water. So I ran towards the shape under the boiling sun.

As I came closer to the trees, grass spread out before me as a green blanket, giving birth to a mountainous range on either side of the valley. I didn't have to walk very far to reach the pool I had smelled. As soon as I crossed from desert to grassland, I found myself staring into a large, circular pool, surrounded by a thin layer of sand. The pool itself sparkled with the sunlight above, whose rays lessened it's strength. I noticed that the waters' depths increase in the middle as a blue sinking hole, darkening further inside itself as a blackness. I felt as if the hole in the water were trying to drown me– invite me into it, so it can bring me down.

I looked down in the shallows and bent down to drink. My reflection was that of a white wolf, while my form I was in was human. As I lapped the water from my hands, I heard the light laughter of a girl.

I looked up. Across from me stood a girl with light, brown hair. She wore a yellow shirt, blue jeans, and purple shoes with a white stripe down the middle. And her eyes, I noticed with shock, were the color of amethyst.

"Who are you?" I asked. I followed her human form to the reflection in the water. Her's was not of a wolf. It was a light brown lynx, light colored-fur on her belly, ears tipped with black.

"I'm Myu." she answered without hesitation. "And who are you?"

"Kiba..." I felt myself say it with uncertainty.

The girl spoke again. "It does not matter who you are in this place, because this is a place where no body cares who you are. This is a place where everyone can be free." she told me.

I stood up and started walking up a hill. She followed me, her hands still behind her back. I looked at her, giving her a savage glare. "Don't follow me." I told her.

She tilted her head. "Why not?" she asked.

"Aren't you afraid?"

She merely blinked at me, innocent.

"I'm a wolf." I told her.

"I can tell from your looks." she said, smiling

This girl...Myu...she seems to fear nothing. I found myself intrigued by her. Regardless, I turned and walked up the hill. I glanced behind at her, but she wasn't there. I stood in panic for a moment before I heard her laugh. Looking back up the hill, she stood staring ahead. She is happy here, it seems. She laughs often, spontaneously. It surprised me that she tried to hide.

When I came and stood beside her, what I saw made my heart soar. I stood with the strange woman over-looking a hilly land full of free, roaming buffalo, deer, gazelles, grazing quietly by a lake, where pines grow sparsely in small groups. Further ahead are forests on either side, and a large mountains, capped with snow, that towers over the green land. The ducks swim peacefully down the streams, quaking softly, while the buffalo decide move in herds for better grazing spots. Flowers are seen everywhere; some stretching their necks to the sun, some brushing against their neighbors, and some bending down to kiss the earth.

When I asked her if this was Paradise, she repeated the word in question. Had she never heard of Paradise before?

So I told her, it was a place I have been searching for forever. "It's a place where you can be free." I added.

"If you think so, then it's probably true," she told me. "This is Paradise for you."

We stood together on the hilltop, gazing at the land, when her face suddenly changed, and she turned, running back down the hill, as a lynx, springing lightly in the grass. I quickly followed behind her as a white wolf. Though she was half my size, she was eager to play, not at all daunted by my size, or the fact that I could easily kill her.

As I chased her, she pounced sideways in the grass, very cat-like, staring back at me. I watched her round a corner, and I waited for her to make the round before leaping off the rock after her. Then...I had her.

I nudged her down with my head, and she rolled on her back. I sized that opportunity to pin her down. She gazed at me as a human, her purple eyes piercing. Then I realized what I was doing. I started to get off of her, as a human, but she reached up and took hold of my arm.

"Kiba, can we stay together forever?" She asked me.

I couldn't speak. How can she ask that of me? I pulled her off the grass, into sitting position, but she would not let go of my arm. I found her stubbornest only made my desire for her grow. Watching my face, she said, "Will you stay with me like this...if this is your Paradise?"

I had found a way around her alluring proposal. The words came out without hesitation; it was plain fact: "We're of different species." I told her.

She seemed desperate, trying to convince me to stay. "But I understand how you feel." she said. I felt my heart tighten, and I don't know why. "We understand each other." When I said nothing, she asked, "Are you afraid?"

"I'm not afraid of anything." I told her firmly. I looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "There's nothing I'm afraid of." I added. I could feel her gaze on me, the longing. But I felt as if I should explain myself. "Immediately after I was born, I witnessed death...it was as if my birth... had invited it."

So I painted her a picture of my past.

I told her the story of how I got to where I was, and why I had a desire for Paradise.

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The orange flames of death laughed wickedly as they lit the dark sky. They were a curse, killing all in their path. I remembered the burning of lunar flowers, of hopes, of dreams– the howling of wolves sounding as laments above the roar of the fires...my pack...my family... their death... The next morning, the forest was left in ashes, trees twisted into the sky like skeleton hands, with no leaves to be found. An Indian man found be beneath one of such trees. He picked me up; I instinctively began to grow fiercely, and I bit into his gloved hand. But he smiled at me. He saw me as a great warrior to be. So he raised me in his tent, feeding me milk in a saucer. Time passed. The Indian man let me roam freely about the land. I would run through the green lands of his People, and walk through the streams of the rivers. I was taught to hunt, and to kill: With the Indian by my side, we would travel and hunt; him with his bow and arrows, me with my claws and fangs. But a time came in my life, when I knew was something more to life then this.

I sat on a hill on day and howled until my heart stopped aching.

Then the time came.

The Indian spoke my name, called me the "white spirit." He asked if there was something I had to tell him. So I asked, "Why did I survive? I thought about it numerous times. For what purpose? Why am I here?"

We sat together on a cliff, the moon in our eyes, the campfire between us burned to black cinder. "I can hear a voice," I continued, "From within my body, saying, 'You can't stay here anymore.'"

The Indian Man knew the ways of the wolves, and of the spirits; he knew how to communicate with me. So he answered, "The time has come for you to go on your journey."

I looked at him.

"You didn't survive," he told me. "The flowers protected you...and the land let you live. Listen to the words of the spirit very carefully. There is probably a place you must go."

"A place I must go?" I repeated.

He turned his head to me. "Go there, always looking forward, without turning back."

So I obeyed. I turned and ran through the night– never looking back.

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"I've been searching," I told Myu, laying on my back in the grass, eyes closed. "To the place where I must go." I opened my eyes slowly, feeling Myu's gentle hands brush the hair from my face, one hand rested on my arm. She gazed down at me, sitting so close...so near....

"This is strange..." I said at last.

"Hm?" she said.

"Spilling everything out like this." I explained. "I've never done this before. Not with my friends...nor Cheza." She continued to fix her gaze on me. I realized something then, and said my thoughts out loud. "I've never felt so peaceful." I said, and closed my eyes again. "This place must be it. Paradise."

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Later, Myu and I went back to the place where we met; the pool whose' depths sink into a blue hole.

I saw a flower. It was white, with purple petals around the white ones. I picked it. While in my fingers, the flower fell apart. It made me feel sad. As if I had lost something important.

Feeling someone watching me, I looked up and noticed Myu, smiling pleasantly, hands behind her back. She offered her right hand to me. I stared in awe at her. It was as if she knew I felt down-hearted by the flower's sudden death, and she offered her comfort to me...

I did not notice this yet, but the flower at my feet stood intact in the grass as if I had never picked it.

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I took a nap later on, and had a dream.

I dreamt I was in a dark place. I heard voices calling my name. I stood up in this darkness and asked the voices, "Who are you? Where are you?"

Behind me called an owl in a mighty voice, which echoed through the darkness: "Whoooo!"

I turned my head towards it.

It's eyes glowed sharply as white pearls. It blinked, and turned it's head side from side, saying, "Who are you? Where are you? I do not know." as soon as he said this he hooted once more, and took flight into the darkness.

I could only stare with confusion at this owl. When it vanished from my sight, I awoke.

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I walked up the hills, my legs sweeping through the grass.

I found Myu sitting half-way in the grass, body resting on her legs, watching me.

An owl soared above her head, circling with no meaning.

Going to the woman, I noticed the same type of flower I had picked earlier.

Sitting beside Myu, my back against her side, I could hear her soft breathing. Her head rested against my neck sent a deeper feeling of peace than I felt earlier. Yet she could tell I was troubled. "What's wrong, Kiba?" she asked me.

"I can't remember." I answered. "I started hear all sorts of voices. But, whose voices they are... Whose faces they are...I cant remember."

"You'll forget step by step." she said calmly, reassuring me. "But you'll get used to it."

The owl...I could hear it. Feel it watching us... It stood on a rock behind us.

It spoke, saying, "That's right," it tilted it's head to one side and continued, "step by step, and then step by step," it began to move it's body in a circular motion, "and then step by step again." it finished.

"Don't worry." Myu said."I'll always be by your side."

"Yeah..." I said, smiling. I knew she was right. We understood each other...and we had no reason to leave each other.

Sitting on a tree branch, the owl spoke again, "Who are you. Where are you." never sitting still. "Whether you're alive. Whether you're dead. Nothing is there. Nothing matters." the owl took flight, soaring over our heads, then away, saying, "The answers are all under the sand." even as he spoke, he re-entered the darkness in my dream, and vanished with a final whoooo.

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Later, Myu and I sat pressed together happily, side by side, gazing into the depths of the pool. I didn't notice that the deep blueness of the middle had widened and gained volume. We sat this way for awhile, with placid expressions on our faces. I felt such a release flow in and out of my body, as if I was being cleansed...And for a moment I was happy.

Suddenly the winds picked up and blew into our faces like a sandstorm. I winced, shielding myself with an arm.

"Stop it." Myu said beside me, ducking her head.

I looked at her. Was she speaking to the wind? "What's wrong, Myu?" I asked her.

She kept her head down, eyes closed. "It seems someone's found you." she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked her slowly. I watched her open her deep, purple eyes. There was fear in them. Fear of losing me...

The owl flew very close beside me, and I gasped, finding myself standing in the darkness once more.

Ahead of me, I saw Myu, standing with a sad smile on her face, hands behind her back, the green beauty of Paradise around and behind her, the pool directly behind her.

I stared at her, mouth open. I could feel the darkness suppressing me from behind. This cant be happening...

"I wanted to stay with you forever..." said Myu quietly, her voice on the edge of tears.

My heart quicken it's beating. She knows something I don't...something is tearing us apart... Why cant we be together forever?

"But...you can't stay here." she told me.

I gazed at her. Why not...why cant we be...? I wanted to ask.

"You see..." she cast her gaze down, shamefully. "This isn't really Paradise." she admitted.

No...I can't believe that...She wouldn't lie to me...Unless– unless it was the only way she knew that would make me stay! My emotions quivered inside of me. I could feel my heart straining to deny her words.

"This is a world where time has stopped," she said quietly, still not meeting my gaze. "At some point everyone forgets why they are here. I cant remember anymore, either..." she added quietly.

How long as she been here? Alone? She isn't like me.... "What are you?" I asked in wonder.

"You have to go." she said, looking up at me, forcing a smile. Such a sad smile...

Please...Myu...We can be free together..."You should come too." I told her.

But all she did was close her eyes, shaking her head. Meeting my eyes once more, she still smiled with a sorrow, a loneliness that cried out to every inch of my soul.

I felt tears gather in my eyes..."Myu..." I whispered.

Oh, but she tried to justify how I felt; this deep, injustice of us not being together, of being happy... "After all," she said, "You and I are different things, you see." With that, she turned away.

"Myu!" I cried out after her, stepping forward. But a wind came a forced me to brace myself to keep from falling backwards. The darkness slowly came around the Paradise Myu lived in, every image of it erasing...

"Good bye." she said, her back to me, facing the pool. "Good bye, Kiba."

The darkness enclosed her world further, and I felt my breath get pulled out of me in the numb pain of losing her. The ache in my heart consumed me, making me feel as if I were about ti die– forcing me to gasp, to live, to suck in the very air she breathed... Just once more..or for an eternity...

She's going away forever... I knew this. And I knew in my wounded heart there was nothing I could do to stop her. But I wanted her so badly...I wanted her ...in my arms....to tell her...how I feel..but....but this could never be...unless...unless she turned and ran back to me now! Unless–

A female voice called my name. A voice I recognized, but did not remember. It came from behind, in the darkness, while ahead of me the images I knew of green world was slowly sinking into the darkness.

"Can you hear me?" asked the voice. "Kiba...Remember!"

A picture came into my mind; of a lunar flower blooming. Recognition filled my soul, filling the hole the loss of Myu was widening. I felt as if I were waking up from a dream, remembering reality... I knew the voice who spoke to me... I knew the name and who she was.

"Cheza..." I said quietly, I spoke her name. I knew what laid ahead, and I knew my purpose was to find the true Paradise..

Behind me, the images were darkened into nothingness.

I never looked back.

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