I would highly suggest listening to the song Expression by Helen Jane Long for this chapter. It's the name of the chapter for a reason. Her music inspired this story. Her song Out Of It All inspired the story as a whole, and Expression, this particular chapter. It's completely instrumental, soft, emotional, and extremely inspiring. Seriously, give her a listen.
If you haven't watched the season finale, well it doesn't spoil anything. But it will make more since if you've seen the episode.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
Detective Kate Beckett hesitated outside of his door, her right hand tightly balled into a fist. There were so many thoughts and questions swimming through her head. She didn't have an answer for any of them. What was she supposed to do? How was she going to deal with this? Deal with him? She could knock on the door and face the problem at hand, or walk away and hope it gets solved by morning.
Nothing ever solves itself though.
She learned that within the first week of wearing the suit. It took evidence, proof, and as her colleges would say, luck. No, a case won't magically solve itself. Unless he or she happens to turn themselves in.
That doesn't happen too often.
And when it does, well that's when they say you got lucky. That's when Esposito and Ryan let out a breath and go home for the night.
But not Kate.
Because she has to understand. It's never logical, and she can't deal with that. Everything has to fit in its place. That's the only way she can get it.
No, she doesn't believe in luck.
Maybe her past is to blame. Maybe she refuses to believe things happen out of sheer luck because her life was ruined by it.
Or maybe she's just stubborn.
And so, she doesn't rely on luck. She doesn't count on anything being easy. Hell, she doesn't rely on anything, or anyone. She's learned not to trust or believe in something that can turn around and hurt her in return.
Oh, but that isn't true.
She relies on him. She trusts him completely. The worst part is she didn't even realize it until now.
And now it's too late.
Unless she brings her fist to knock on the door. She's literally two inches; two seconds away from possibly solving the problem. Wouldn't that be easy? All she'd have to do is ask. That's all she'd ever have to do.
'Cause that's just how it is.
She should have asked earlier; sooner. She should have told him no the second the words came out of his mouth.
Words should have come out of her mouth.
They didn't, though. Instead, she sat in absolute silence.
She didn't have an expression, 'cause she didn't know how she was feeling. What she was feeling. Who knows how long she stayed like that? Must have been a while, 'cause when she looked up, she was alone.
Normally, she liked to be alone.
But not this time. No, this time she couldn't breathe. The reality of what was happening hit her so hard the air literally left her lungs. She couldn't breathe then, and she was barely breathing now. Perhaps that's why she was here. Maybe she just needs to breathe again. She's moments away from fixing everything; from complicating everything.
And she's just moments from walking away.
Taking the easy way out. A get out of jail free card. Maybe she should just walk away.
Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
She doesn't know what to do. Decisions always came easily to Kate Beckett. But no, not this time. If this was easy, it would have been done with.
It would have been over.
Should she follow her heart, or follow the rules she's lived by all of her life? She had spent so many years building walls larger than the boarder of China, and he takes mere months to find a way around them. He doesn't break them, because he knows doing so would break her. Instead, he finds ways to get on the other side without her knowing. Maybe he built a door. Only goes through when he knows it's safe.
But locks it and runs when things get complicated.
Running is usually what the girl does, right? Or that's how it happens in the books. Reality is different though. Kate knows that.
Kate's always known that.
She knows the difference between a fairytale and reality. If it was a fairytale, she'd take those two seconds and knock on the door. But reality is different. Things don't always end with smiles and laughs.
For her, they've never ended that way.
Walking away will only give her one result. Closing the two inches and knocking would leave her with two.
Two, plus complications.
Yes, walking away does sound like the best idea. But would walking away be the same as running away? 'Cause Detective Kate Beckett of the 12th precinct, homicide, doesn't run. She doesn't turn her back when things get complicated.
She knew what she had to do.
Two inches, two seconds, two alternatives.
Two people, two lives, two hearts.
She knocks twice, takes two steps back.
The two locks slide out of place, and the knob turns.
So, what did you think? This can stand as a one shot, but can go much better with a few more chapters. Review and tell me what you think? And if you want more?