** DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or any of its characters. I wish with all my heart that I did but I do not. All the credit goes Glee's creators, Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk and Ian Brennan. If I did own Glee, I'd have a leading role :)
Thanks for reading my first fanfiction ever. Please be nice but I do fully appreciate constructive criticism! I wrote this after the episode Laryngitis but this takes place after Regionals. By the way, I'll use italics in this story to indicate a thought that the character I am focusing on is thinking. I just thought that might be helpful!
This is mainly a St. Berry fic with little bits of Finn/Rachel. There's also lots of Finn/Quinn later on. I've got this whole thing planned out, so I'd love if you stuck around for the full ride! :)
Everything was wrong but as Rachel Berry entered her house, she imitated a cheerful mood that defied the true feelings she felt within. Maybe it was the luminous sun and azure sky outside or the delectable smell of her father's cooking, but everything seemed to reflect a much better day. How could a day be so perfect and yet so wrong at the same time? Rachel shook her head dejectedly and as she closed the door, she heard a voice from the same place as that palatable aroma.
"Rachel?" Leroy Berry called.
"It's me, daddy!" Rachel replied.
She paused and offhandedly dropped her book bag beside the front door. As Rachel headed towards the kitchen, she smoothed out her sweater, adjusted her skirt and pulled up her trademark knee socks.
As Rachel entered the balmy and brightly lit room, she attempted a smile as she asked, "Vegan lasagna?"
"Of course," Hiram Berry replied with a small smile creeping onto his face.
"Now, how was your day?" Leroy inquired.
Rachel's fathers exchanged glances. It wasn't a commonplace routine for their daughter to give them anything less than a full summary of her day everyday after school. That was part of how Rachel had such a close relationship with both of her parents, they knew everything about her and she knew everything about them. When Rachel had auditioned for Glee, they knew every lyric to "On My Own" by the end of the week. When she began to crush on Finn Hudson, they were the first to know about it. Rachel's parents knew all about the Glee club drama and their set list for each competition. So when they were confronted with a one word response, they knew something was amiss.
"Really, it was great. I'm just a bit tired," she smiled fiercely and before she could be interrogated any further, she left the room. Sometimes, Rachel didn't know how she could manage without her acting ability.
As Rachel picked up her bag, she found it harder to walk. She dreaded what she knew she had to do. She feared that her pleasant, protected life may change irreversibly. As she made her way slowly up the stairs and into her room, she attempted to chide herself for being too much of a drama queen. As Rachel quietly placed her bag down by her bed she leaned onto her smoothly shaven legs. She opened the flap of the old and beloved bag and unzipped the largest pocket. Slowly, she reached in and took out the little cardboard box.
In all of her life, Rachel had never assumed she'd be the type of girl who'd ever have to even worry about teenage pregnancy. She just wasn't the type. It was girls like Quinn Fabray (who, in being pregnant, was a perfect example) and Santana Lopez who should worry about these kinds of things, not Miss Rachel Barbara Berry.
And yet, here she was… worrying.
As Rachel leaned back onto her knees, she tried to silently rip open the top of the little box. As it came apart, she began to wonder what she would do if one of her daddies walked in right now. Her heart was beating uncontrollably, fear was undeniable and it shivered through her in a way she had never experienced before.
As she finished tearing open the top, Rachel turned the box over and two pregnancy tests fell out and onto the ground. In an attempt to delay the results, she began to read the instructions and facts that she knew all too well.
Results as soon as 60 seconds.
One simple step.
Rachel sat in the same place for a minute and then, without a word, picked one test up, placed the other back into the box which she buried in her bag and entered her bathroom. The room was cold and as she turned the lights on Rachel shivered. This looming threat to her adolescence was terrifying. This was something big, something way too much for her to handle.
Without another thought, Rachel sat onto the porcelain toilet and closing her eyes took the infamous "one simple step."
Her breathing and heart rate began to speed up and Rachel grasped the counter beside her for support as she began to count in her head. 60. 59. 58. 57. 56. 55. 54…
"3, 2," Rachel breathed out and paused, "1."
She stayed in the same motionless position for a few seconds to give the test a little more time... or, if she was being truthful to herself, to give herself a bit more time. Then, slowly and painfully, Rachel opened a single eye and glanced down at the indicator.
Panic flooded through Rachel's chest as a single sob escaped her lips. Thoughts. Emotions. Fear. Hope. Everything flooded in at once and she couldn't handle it. It felt as if a loud ringing was blocking out any thoughts, crashing through her.
Pregnant at 16. It was like some absurd reality TV show.
Rachel trembled as she stood, silent tears flowing down her cheeks and took a deep, shaky breath as she wrapped up the test in toilet paper and dropped it gently into the rose-tinted wastebasket. She stood staring at it for a minute and then walked to the sink where she began to wash her hands. As the hot water made first contact with her hands, Rachel flinched.
So this is how Quinn must have felt.
Rachel quietly glanced up at the mirror and furiously blinked away tears. She turned sideways and lifted her yellow sweater to her breast bone so that she could stare at her stomach. It had been little more than one month since Rachel Berry had lost her virginity. So far, there was nothing to see. Maybe there was a tiny bit of swelling, but Rachel thought she could have very well been imagining it. Tentatively, she placed a hand on her stomach and then glanced up at the mirror to meet terrified eyes.
"Alright," Will Schuester began, clapping his hands together excitedly as he entered the Glee club rehearsal space, "who wants to start us off today? We all know the assignment, to find a song that recaps an important event that has occurred in our life and do it justice."
The whole club nonchalantly glanced at Rachel but she was quiet and her head was turned down to her hands clasped tightly in her lap.
"Rachel," Mr. Schuester started, "do you want to go first?"
She glanced up and paused nervously, "Ok."
Hesitantly, Rachel stood and walked over to the pianist and handed him her music. She quietly related to him the tempo and where to begin as well as where to end.
Then slowly she turned to face her fellow Glee clubbers. She paused and nervously glanced at Jesse, who sat in his chair with a blank, unreadable expression on his face. Rachel was certain that nobody in the Glee club would understand her selection if they didn't know the musical. It was one of her favorite shows and she recalled relating this fact to Jesse who mentioned he had never seen it or heard its music.
A song about pregnancy was a risk. But if nobody comprehended the selection, there would be no problem.
Rachel took a deep breath and glanced at the pianist who was waiting for her, "I will be singing 'Whispering' from the Broadway musical Spring Awakening."
Hear the ghosts in the moonlight,
Sorrow doing a new dance,
Through their bones, through their skin,
Quietly, Rachel took a step forward and began to put her whole soul into the song. It was all she could do. Singing it felt like an confession even though nobody would understand the true meaning of her words. It was overwhelming, it truly was, that her childhood and innocence had been snatched away in the course of one night. She had thought she was in love but maybe she just was being a teenager. Pressured. One thing Rachel always relied on was the fact that she knew where she was going. She could see the path laid out right ahead of her. Broadway. It was all so clear. But now... now, Rachel knew nothing. She could see nothing.
To their souls in the fools night,
Fumbling mutely with their rude hands,
And there's heartache without end,
See the father bent in grief,
The mother dressed in mourning,
And the neighbors grumble,
The preacher issues warnings,
Rachel sadly took a fleeting look at Jesse who returned her glance in-comprehensively. She slowly took a deep breath and sung even more passionately. It hurt her, that he didn't seem to care. It hurt her, that she knew he would never care again.
Had a sweetheart on his knees,
So faithful and adoring,
And he touched me,
And I let him love me,
So let that be my story,
Almost in tears, Rachel turned away from her peers heavily and continued to sing while blinking away the raw emotion. It hurt. He was gone. He had left her. And now she was alone.
For the hope, for the new life,
Something beautiful, a new chance,
Hear it's whispering,
As Rachel sung the last note, she turned around to meet the eyes of her confused classmates. The tears were gone and she had the Glee clubbers in the exact position she had wanted them in. They all clapped slowly, not comprehending. Smiling weakly, Rachel started back to her seat… but didn't make it.
It had begun.
Rachel's hand clapped to her mouth as she looked around wildly. It had only been a little more than one month. Without another word, she was out of the room and running down the hall, missing the horrified look still plastered on Mr. Schuester's face.
What Rachel hadn't ever stopped to consider was the fact that he, her teacher, might understand the true meaning behind her song choice.
If you know anything about Spring Awakening, I hope you liked what I did up there It's one of my favorite musicals and I found that the song "Whispering" fit perfectly into this scenario. For those who don't know, Lea Michele and Jonathan Groff originated the roles of Wendla and Melchior in the Broadway production of Spring Awakening. Oh yeah, by the way, I don't own those lyrics, I didn't write them, etc, etc, etc. DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER
Please review I hope you enjoyed this first chapter and PLEASE PLEASE listen to "Whispering" if you haven't already!