Title: How to Save a Life

Author: Forsaken2003

Pairing: S/X

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!

Summary: When Spike is killed by a human Xander goes back in time to make sure it doesn't happen.

Warnings/Spoilers: Instead of Spike coming back in season 3 for a love spell for Dru he wanted a location spell just to make sure she was alright. Season 5 no Glory or Dawn. I don't know much about time travel so bare with me!

Beta'd by: Dragonfly_64

Part One

Xander couldn't breath, couldn't talk. Three days ago his world was taken from him and he was lost. He needed Spike back, he couldn't survive without him.

Three days earlier:

Spike and Xander were walking down the street from the bronze, it was Buffy's birthday so they decided to spend her day dancing and drinking. Angel had came down to see Willow, so it turned out to be a triple date. Riley seemed pretty okay with Angel now that he was happily engaged with Willow.

The boys decided to leave early wanting some alone time together. They wished Buffy a happy birthday and left holding hands. It still amazed Xander that Spike enjoyed holding his hand in public. Spike told him the only person he cared what they thought of him was Xander and everyone else could bugger off.

Once they were just a few blocks from their apartment Xander dragged Spike into an alley for a quick make-out session. They didn't kiss alot around their friends but had no problem with the snuggling and hand holding. "Did I tell you how hot you looked on the dance floor tonight?" Xander asked in between kisses.

"You might have mentioned it a time or two," Spike grinned burying his face into Xander neck giving it a playful nip.

"Look, Bobby," a deep voice boomed from the opening of the alley. "We got ourselves a couple of fags."

Spike turned glaring at the newcomers, "Got a problem mate?"

"Yeah I do Billy," The man stepped closer to them he friend right behind him.

"How about you two move along and we won't have a problem," Spike suggested. He wasn't scared of the homophobes, one flash of fang and they'd be running in fear smelling of piss. He stood in front of Xander protecting him of any possible attack.

Bobby snorted, "How about we bash your face in instead?" He pulled out a butterfly knife. Just as he was about to attack Spike shifted showing his demon.

"Like I said, boys, maybe you should just move on," Spike growled.

Both men froze just staring at the vampire for a moment making Spike think they would back down. He didn't expect Bobby to punch him in the face while the other one went after Xander. Xander was slammed into the wall; his head thumped against the brick wall stunning him.

"I'm going to rip your bloody heads off!" Spike launched himself at the one that attacked Xander only to fall to the ground clutching his head as the chip exploded. "Not bloody fair! I'm protecting what's mine!"

"Yo, Mick!" Bobby yelled to his friend, "This is the vampire that can't hurt humans." He chuckled and walked up to Spike grabbing the collar of his duster pulling him to his knees before slamming his knife into his chest. If he had been human; he'd have been dead.

Xander watched in horror as the knife pierced Spike's skin. He sent his own punch to his assailant before tackling Bobby, "You really shouldn't have done that." Xander began wailing on the man that dare touch his vampire. Even when the man was no longer conscious Xander still continued his assault. All his attention was on this one that he forgot about the other.

It wasn't until he heard the snap of piece of wood from an old crate that Xander remembered the second man. Just as he turned he saw the man shove the board through Spike's chest. The look on Spike's face broke Xander's heart; it was a look of terror and sorrow.

"Xan…" That was the only thing Spike got out before he burst into a pile of ash.

"SPIKE!" Xander yelled and drove for what remained of his lover. He never noticed that his friends heard the scuffle and came in just as their friend's remains scattered to the ground.

Angel howled with rage shifting into the demon. He swore never to hurt a human but he was making an exception. Angel launched himself at the killer giving a quick, firm twist breaking the man's neck. When he turned he saw the girls crowding Xander trying to give comfort knowing none of it would be able to bring Spike.

Xander sat on the bed he shared with Spike, a knife in hand. He had written a note to his friends apologizing but he couldn't live without Spike. His hand shook as he raised the knife to his wrist determined to end his life.

Part Two

Just as the knife touched his skin there was a sharp knock on the door, "Xander, open the door!" Willow screamed through the door not caring who she disturbed. "It's important!"

Xander stumbled to the front door swinging it open, startling Willow, "I don't care if the world is ending. Let it fucking burn!"

"No, it's nothing like that." Willow pushed her way in. Xander watched as she started moving his furniture around until she had a large empty space.

"Willow, please I just want to be alone," Xander's voice cracked.

Willow ignored him and began pouring blue power in a circle, followed by placing eight candles inside the ring. Three green, two red, two white and a single black one, "Get in the circle, Xander."

"What are you doing?" Xander asked but did as his friend instructed.

"We are going to change what happened," She pulled out a crystal and said a small chant, Xander watched as the crystal turned red. "I found a spell to take you back in time. When I start the chant you concentrate on the time period you want to go back to. After you are done changing what has happened smash the crystal and you'll come back to the present. Do you understand?"

Xander stood there trying to understand what Willow was saying, "I can bring him back?"

"Yes, do you understand what you have to do?" She asked again her leg was bouncing slightly.

He grabbed her crushing her into a hug, "I love you, Willow!" Xander accepted the crystal placing it safely into his pant pocket and waiting for Willow to begin. He knew exactly what moment he wanted to go back too, "I'm ready."

"See you when you get back," She closed her eyes and began.

'Goddess of light,

Goddess of time,

Let this man undo what's been done,

Take him back to the moment in time.'

Even with his eyes closed tightly, he saw the bright flash of white light. Xander made sure his only thoughts were of Spike.

"I need you to do a spell," Xander heard Spike say. When he opened his eyes he saw that he was on the bed in the factory.

"A-A spell I can do that!" Willow stammered out as she feared for her life.

Xander sat up rubbing his head as he remembered his part. When Spike came into the classroom he pretended to knock Xander out with a microscope, taking both him and Willow. He always felt bad about how scared his friend was but he knew Spike wouldn't hurt her.

"It's simple, I need to know where my princess is," Spike explained. Xander had explained how Willow started doing magicks after Angelus killed Mr. Calendar, and that a locator spell would be easy for her to do.

"Just a locator spell?" Willow bit her lip, "I have the supplies but I need a map. I'm guessing she isn't in Sunnydale anymore."

Spike rolled his eyes, "If she was in this hellhole I'd be able to find her my bloody self. I have a map somewhere in the other room. To make sure you don't do anything stupid," Spike gripped Xander's arm hauling him off the mattress. "I'll take the pup with me. You run and I'll rip his innards out through his nose, you got it?"

Willow nodded her head her eyes wide with fright, "I won't run! I'll set up and wait for both of you to come back; I swear!"

"Good, luv," Spike pulled Xander into the back room. Xander struggled just for show.

When the door slammed shut Spike pushed Xander against the door kissing him hard on the lips before pulling back, "Hello, pet." He purred licking Xander's lips. "You were perfect, pet! You absobloodylootely deserve a bloody Oscar for that performance!" He dove back in for a kiss, his hands slipping into Xander's back pockets pulling him closer.

Xander pulled away tears streaming down his face, "God, Spike, I've missed you!"

"Missed you too, lovely," Spike murmured as he used his thumb to wipe the tears away. "Thought I'd go crazy without being able to touch you; phone calls just weren't enough."

"No, Spike, that's not what I mean," Xander's voice hitched and he leaned into Spike's touch as he brushed away his tears. "You have to listen to me."

Spike nodded and bounced on the balls of his feet, he wanted to find Drusilla make sure she was safe and then take his love away after graduation for a little trip. "Sure, Xan, whatever you say."

"This is going to sound crazy but you have to believe me. Please believe me it's important," Xander begged as more tears sprung from his eyes.

Never having seen Xander this upset before Spike pulled him into a hug, "Of course I'll believe you."

"I'm from the future," Xander said. Spike opened his mouth to say something but Xander slammed the palm of his hand over his mouth, "No, just listen to me. In five months, you are going to be captured by a government agency called 'The Initiative'; they are going to put a chip in your head to prevent you from hurting humans."

"What are you talking about, Xan?" Spike asked completely baffled once he was able to pull Xander's hand away from his mouth, "Did I really hit you with that bloody thing?" He started looking for any bumps.

Xander batted his hands away, "No, fucking listen to me!" He clenched Spike's shoulder shaking him hard. "In five months you will be experimented on, leaving you defenceless, and in fourteen months on Buffy's twentieth birthday you are going to die." Xander choked out the words. "You are going to die because of those assholes. Willow found a spell to let me come back in time to do what ever I needed to do to prevent you dying. I want to make sure you can defend yourself by any means."

"You're serious," Spike whispered. He knew when Xander was lying; he was so bad at it that he refused to play poker because he couldn't bluff to save his life.

"Yes, you are going to die and if you don't get out of Sunnydale and stay away until I tell you to come back I'm going to lose you and three days later I'm going to kill myself. I can't live without you; I love you too fucking much!"

Spike pulled Xander into a hug shushing him and whispering nonsense waiting for him to calm down, "I'm not going anywhere, luv. You've changed everything now. I'll stay away for as long as you think is necessary."

"Swear to me, Spike," Xander whispered into the vampire's ear. "Swear on my life you'll listen to me."

"I swear on your life that I'll leave town." Spike whispered back. He didn't completely understand what was happening but he'd keep his promise. Wrapping a hand in Xander's hand he placed a tender kiss on wet lips, tasting the salt from the drying tears. Xander opened his mouth granting Spike entrance. The kiss was slow and lazy, Spike needed to reassure Xander that everything would be alright. When he finally pulled away he rested his forehead against Xander's, "What happens now, Xan?"

Xander pulled out the crystal Willow gave him. "I need to go back. If you're not there, Spike…"

"I'll be there, haven't let you down yet, have I?" Spike asked, he wouldn't admit it but he was nervous. He wouldn't forget what Xander told him but that didn't extinguish his fears. "I'll see you soon than." One more kiss and Spike backed away. A soft smile that was only for Xander played his lips, "Love you."

"I love you, too," With a deep breath Xander raised the crystal over his head before slamming it into the concrete floor. Again the white light consumed him leaving him blind.

Part Three

When Xander opened his eyes, he found himself on the floor; apparently the spell really did knock him out the first time. When he got his thoughts in order and everything was clear again he sat up quickly making his head spin. "Spike?" He called out gripping onto the coffee table to help him stand, "Spike?" He called out again, "Willow?" She wouldn't just leave him as soon as he went back in time, would she?

On shaky legs he made his way to each room praying to find the vampire. The bedroom was the last room to check; slowly he opened the door waiting to see his Spike stretched out on the bed waiting for him. His heart plummeted into his stomach when he saw the wrinkled sheets lay crumbled at the bottom of the bed.

"You fucking bastard!" Xander screamed, "You promised me you fucking asshole!" Fresh tears spilt from his eyes. He turned and left the room not being able to look at the bed another moment. "You killed yourself," he sobbed. "Why didn't you listen to me?" He quickly found himself in the kitchen pulling the knife drawer open grabbing the sharpest knife.

He made his way back to the living room kneeling on the floor, the knife clutched in his hand. He didn't bother writing another note, obviously Willow's spell didn't work and she ran off not being able to face her friend. He pressed the knife hard against his wrist, this time he would do it, and nothing could stop him. As it sliced through his flesh the front door opened.

"Xander, what the hell did you do?" Xander heard Spike's voice, but made no move to look. Spike was gone and he wasn't coming back, the spell failed him. He felt the blood leave his body as he grew weaker. "Don't you fucking leave me!" Something soft was wrapped around his wound to stop the blood flow.

Blurry eyes opened and he found Spike kneeling over him, "S-Spike?"

"I could bloody throttle you right now!" Spike growled. He removed the bloody shirt to see the damage. It wasn't as bad as he originally thought. The wound was long but not deep, just a bleeder. He brought Xander's wrist to his mouth and licked the wound until it closed. Then he ripped his own wrist open thrusting it to Xander's mouth, "Take a few swallows, you damn git."

Xander's lips wrapped around the wound and swallowed the coppery liquid. It wasn't the first time he had drank Spike's blood. When he was taken as a consort Xander had to drink blood from both Spike and Angel. He, of course, went to Willow to ask for her permission, she eagerly agreed and a week later he was mated to William the Bloody.

"What were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all?" Spike demanded as he pulled Xander into his arms and carried him into their bedroom.

"You weren't here," Xander slurred from the blood loss.

Spike placed him on the bed and pulled the blanket over his body, "Course I wasn't, I was out getting you dinner remember?" Spike looked concerned and debated on calling an ambulance; there was never any indication of Xander being suicidal.

"No," Xander shook his head. "Do you remember what happened two years ago? In the factory?"

"When you went back in time to warn me about The Initiative?" Spike asked, holding a hand up pausing anything Xander was about to say. "Hold on," He left the room coming back not even a minute later carrying a glass of orange juice. He placed it to Xander's lips tipping the glass a little for Xander to swallow.

Xander polished off the glass bringing his uninjured arm up to wipe off the remaining liquid, "Spike, I just got back."

"How is that possible? You just asked me to go get you some Mexican food not even forty-five minutes ago."

"I-I don't know. But you weren't here and I thought it didn't work. I told you I wouldn't live without you," Xander whispered. "I meant that."

Spike wrapped his arms around the scared man, "It worked, Xan. I'm here, that night I was supposed to die… I killed those bastards. I didn't give them the opportunity to get a shot in. You noticed them following us and told me it was them, I grabbed them both by the neck and slammed their faces into the wall. I crushed their skulls so badly that they were completely unrecognizable."

Xander saw Spike's demeanour change, as if he was ashamed of what he did. "Spike?"

"Yeah, luv?" Spike wouldn't look at him.

"I'm glad you killed them," Xander said honestly. "I hope those fuckers suffered, and if I didn't say that before when you did it, then I am a fucking moron."

Spike rubbed his cheek against Xander's mop of hair, "You did. I just wasn't sure if maybe you might have changed your mind through the time travel."

"Spike, I went back to that specific day to make sure you would be able to kill them. I always hated that I couldn't get rid of the chip."

"But you did," Spike smiled fondly. "You saved my life and you prevented me from being a caged animal."

Xander made Spike look at him, "I fell in love with the man and demon that Angel offered me to. The demon that stalked me for months making sure no other demon ever laid a hand or tentacle on me."

"You're a sweet talker, Xan," Spike stated with a grin.

"You're really back," Xander traced Spike's face with his finger tips.

Spike took a hold of Xander's hand placing a kiss on the palm, "I told you I'd keep my promise to you."

"It was only days but it felt like eternity. I could feel my heart giving out; it was literally breaking." He placed Spike's hand over his heart letting him feel the beat of it.

"We'll mend it," Spike promised as he felt the strong heart pump under his cold hand.

A small smile graced Xander's face, "I think I can feel it already."

The End