It has been seventy years since Edward left me in Forks. Seventy years since Edward left me broken and alone in that godforsaken forest. Seventy years since I had heard the booming laughter of Emmett, the fashion rants of Alice, and the motherly advice of Esme. It has been sixty years since I have felt anything. Sixty years since my heart beat its last beat.
Another day, another city in my never-ending search for anything that may make me feel anything other than emptiness that has plagued my undead life. I hadn't wanted this existence not since I last saw Edward, the boy I that I convinced myself I loved. In the years that I have passed since he left I have come to realize that I never really loved him, what I loved about him was the fact that he was unattainable. The relationship would end because he would never change me. He wouldn't damn me as he believed he was. What I didn't realize until later was that subconsciously I was testing myself. He was a last ditch effort to see if I could love a man; if I could be normal like society dictated. I couldn't. It took the love of a self loathing vampire and his rejection for me to realize and accept that I am and always have been a lesbian.
Coming out of the closet was hard. Renee acted as I expected with disgust. For all her notions of free will and equality the moment I told her that I was attracted to women the religion of her parents that she had rejected in adulthood had come to the forefront of the mind. After two months of her throwing around scripture at me I stopped taking her calls. I would never change anything about myself to make people happy again. Charlie. Sweet understanding Charlie, I think he knew the entire time I was with Edward. He told me he didn't care so long as I was happy. With the chance of immortality gone I stepped up my game and started sending out college applications. After getting accepted to several good schools I settled on UC San Diego. The complete opposite of Forks. Nice and sunny. After five years of studying nonstop with a more than full course load I had earned my masters in English. Charlie had been so proud and I had never been so happy to have made him proud. That summer I moved to the Big Apple and got a low level position at a publishing company.
Unfortunately fate has never been kind to me and has never given me happiness without tragedy. Two years later a few weeks after I had been made an assistant editor after finding a bestseller that almost never saw publication Charlie was killed when he pulled over a man speeding high on PCP. With his death I cut all ties with Forks, Washington. None of my friendships from high school had lasted (no matter how much Newton begged) so the break was easy. I faced m own death three years later when James's mate Victoria resurfaced. She found me during my daily run through the nearby park. It seems she had been unable to get to me in Forks but hadn't known I had left until recently but didn't know where. The meeting was pure chance that ended with me screaming in agony for three days. I knew I wouldn't be able to resist the pull of human blood so after waiting until I could hear no one I ran to my apartment I emailed my resignation, sold my things, and bought a cabin in the Montana wilderness. Nine years later I finally had satisfactory control so I returned to the human population. This time I made my home in Seattle and returned to the publishing world but what had once been my life now seemed so empty. With an eternity ahead of me to return to my career I decided to travel the globe.
Eventually my travel brought me to Italy where I came to the attention of the Volturi, the leaders and policing force of the vampire world. Like Edward, Aro unable to read my mind and his most favored member of the guard unable to get past my shield, became intrigued. I stayed there as a member of the guard for three years.
My friendship with the reserved and vicious Caius surprised everyone including myself but it turned out we both had a deep love of literature. During my time in Volterra I met Eleazar when Aro requested he come to see the extent of my powers, and we talked often even when I left Volterra to begin my travels again. For the next thirty years I stayed in Europe mostly, I had become content and almost happy. I should have known that I should have expected an upheaval. I should have known my peaceful existence would not last. I never should have answered Eleazar's call.