A challenge fic from .
Here we go!
Folor Base, Commenor System
Major Derek 'Hobbie' Klivian looked across the table at Colonel Wes Janson, sliding a datapad on the plasteel to his old friend and squadmate. "I hate Wedge," he announced in a rather flat voice. "I really, really do."
Wes groaned and placed his fingertips on the datapad's screen, turning it around to face him. "Come on, it's not that bad. I think some of these trainees have potential." He pressed a button on the touchscreen and scrolled through screens of text and the occasional profile picture. "This one has a lot of potential," he said, stopping on the picture of a young Twi'lek female in mid-wink.
Hobbie looked down his nose at Wes. "For the love of the Force, Wes. She's half your age!"
The perpetual child looked up at Hobbie and shrugged. "What's your point?" He suddenly jumped out of his chair, grabbing the datapad. "Come on, time to get to the briefing room," he said, making his way to the exit.
Hobbie stared after Wes for a moment before letting out a long-suffering sigh and following after. "This passes bad feeling and goes into areas I'm not sure even Luke would go."
Wes approached briefing room four, pausing as he noticed the door open a crack. He rolled his eyes. "Amateurs," he said. He pressed a button on the door's control panel and stepped back. A short panel wedged into the door's top groove loosened, eventually falling and letting a bucket of water drop onto the bare floor with a loud clang.
Wes stepped over the bucket and into the briefing room. He looked around at the four pilots and smiled. "Hello," he said, holding his arms out. "Who did that?"
A human male stood up and held his hand up. "I did," Flight Officer Jek said, smirking.
A sigh came from Wes and he rolled his eyes. "Pure amateur work, Jek." He turned and pointed up at the top of the door. "Next time, use a thinner piece of plasteel. The door will slide closed better and your target won't suspect a thing."
Hobbie paused as his brain processed Wes' words. "Wait, do you really want to-"
Wes held up a hand in front of Hobbie's face, grinning like a Sith Lord on Korriban. "Not now, chum. We've got pilot candidates to torture!"
A female Twi'lek stood up and walked over, her hips swaying. "Major," she purred, batting her eyes at him. "Are we ready to get up in the air for some fancy maneuvering?"
Wes' face nearly split and he crossed his arms over his chest. "I think we can do some curving around and flying in tandem." He turned to a reddening Hobbie. "Wouldn't you say, old boy?"
Hobbie grumbled slightly, but turned his gaze out to the other pilot candidates. He noticed a Zabrak sitting on the floor, legs scrunched up against his chest and arms wrapped around them. "Flight Officer, what are you doing?" he demanded, walking over.
The Zabrak looked up and sniffed. "S-sorry, sir. I'm just..." He looked around and sighed, burying his head in his knees. "I'm afraid of heights!"
Hobbie's left eyebrow twitched. "You're... afraid of heights? And you joined the Starfighter Corps?" He glanced up at the ceiling and massaged his temple. "Pray tell, flight officer. Why did you join the Starfighter Corps if you're afraid of heights?"
The Zabrak looked up and wiped his eyes. "I just thought... I just thought it'd be more fun than supply, sir!" He stretched out his legs and stood up, grunting slightly. The Zabrak then sniffed and wiped his nose with his sleeve, blinking bloodshot eyes. "Do we have to fly, sir? Wouldn't it be safer for us to stay on the ground, where it's safe?"
There was a pause before Hobbie threw his arms up in the air and turned away. He walked back to Wes, who had the Twi'lek draped on his arm. "I quit, " he muttered. "They know who you are, so you get the weird ones. I'm with you, so I get the weird ones."
Wes grinned and patted Hobbie on the shoulder with his free hand. "Oh, you love it and you know it. Life would be too dull without me around, Hobbie."
Hobbie's temple pulsed. He turned as motion caught the corner of his eye. He dodged back as Jek reared back, tossing a cream pie right at Wes' face. The foil plate impacted, sending custard and flakes everywhere. The Twi'lek shrieked as she was showered with incidental frosting, coating her arm.
Wes reared back, stumbling and waving his arms around. He finally regained his stance as the pie plate slid off his face, leaving him covered with white cream and frosting. He raised his hand and slid his finger through the goop. "Jek!" he bellowed.
Jek stood at attention, face contorting. "Yes, sir!" he barked out.
The Major licked his finger. "Next time, banana cream!"
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