Author's Note: Here's Part two. This will most likely be the last thing I write featuring Edward/Demetri from TR. I don't want to wear them out, and this felt very complete. I hope you've enjoyed them as much as I have. :)
Thanks to ms ambrosia and TwilightMundi for the beta. Big, huge thanks to ms ambrosia for listening to my moaning.
I'm donating a one shot to the fics for Nashville compilation that is being put together to support flood relief in Nashville, TN. To learn more about how could donate to get the compilation or if you're a writer who would like to help, please go to http://community(dot)livejournal(dot)com(slash)ficsfornash/ Thanks. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or the original plot to the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement intended.
Edward waited eight minutes, each one stretched out by the lack of sound. When he realized that it was done, he ran. The thought of seeing her still, pale, quiet, dead was something he could not comprehend, so he reverted back to flight. Bella was gone, and seeing her corpse would not make it any more real for him. Nothing could have been more real than the deafening quiet.
Demetri did not follow him; he knew well enough that Edward would need time alone to grieve, and he would resist any forms of comfort until he had had it. Thinking at Edward not to run too far, he let him go.
Generally, when Edward ran, he could do so noiselessly, but that time he deliberately pounded the ground beneath his feet so that he could take comfort in the sound. He willed the rain to fall, the wind to blow, anything to replace the stillness – the quiet – that had wrapped around him and held him in a vise like grip.
Watching his feet, Edward thought about warm hands and mistakes, regrets and mahogany hair, black ice and first love. He thought about forgetfulness, and he pondered how some moments were so long, but other times years passed with a blink. Edward thought about Demetri; he thought about how he had promised years and years ago that he would never do this to him. He remembered the promise he had made to never let Demetri see him tormented over Bella again. It was one of the many broken oaths that Edward had sworn. How old did he have to be before he knew? Before he understood what it was to understand himself?
Trying to convince himself that he was not going there, he stopped asking himself questions he had no answer to, and just watched his feet as the roughly ground into they earth with each stride. Despite his reluctance, he found himself there: that damn meadow. It was a place where all his memories of Bella were young and fresh, a place where she had held a lifetime of possibilities, a place where she had a head full of dreams and the time to see them come to fruition.
Edward immediately felt anger; the meadow was in full bloom, the wildflowers and tall grass whispering against each other in the light breeze, seeming to see Edward and all his faults and talk about him amongst themselves. Narrowing his eyes in offense, he walked to the very center and sat down, sending a plume of irritants into the air around him. He pointlessly tried to breathe them in, wishing they would bother him.
The longer he sat, watching the last bit of light leave the sky, the angrier he became. He was so full of conflicting emotions that he could feel them trying to manifest physically, his arms and legs threatening to take control and send him places he did not want to go.
Before he could do anything stupid Demetri showed up. Edward heard his thoughts before he saw him.
I hope you've had enough time on your own, Edward, because I couldn't leave you alone anymore.
I wonder how long it's been, Edward thought to himself.
You've been out here a good three hours, Demetri thought.
Edward laughed. He wondered if even Demetri knew how easily he could predict Edward's thoughts.
Putting his face in his hands, Edward wondered if he could accept comfort yet or if he wanted to remain on his own. He did not feel deserving of comfort, but he wanted it. He kept his face firmly hidden as he heard Demetri approach him, feeling the shift of air as Demetri came near, and he immediately inhaled.
"You smell lovely in the rain," Edward said, his voice muffled from between his fingers. He held his breath and tried to force tears to fall; he pushed and strained and squinted until he thought his eyes might pop out of his skull.
"You always smell lovely," Demetri replied, sitting across from Edward, waiting patiently until Edward was ready. "What can I do?"
Edward raised his head to look at Demetri. Demetri was shocked that Edward's eyes were actually a bit red around the edges, realizing that Edward must have been really trying for tears. Edward chuckled. "You can hurt me," Edward answered sardonically.
"E," Demetri chided. "You know I would much rather do the opposite. I think you're causing yourself enough misery without my assistance."
"It's not enough. You should be angry with me," Edward replied, thinking of the moment he wanted to blame Demetri for having not seen her more often. He knew Demetri would ask him why he should be angry, and he resolved to tell him. Perhaps, it would garner the reaction he wanted.
"Why should I be?" Demetri asked, reaching out to take Edward's hand.
Edward shrugged him off and rose to his feet, turning his back on Demetri. "Because I wanted to blame you for my not seeing Bella for so many years. Because for a moment, I did blame you," he finished, turning around so he could witness Demetri's reaction. Demetri, still sitting on the ground, had shifted his gaze from Edward to his hands.
"It was partially my fault, Edward," he whispered, his thoughts screaming apologies.
Not at all the reaction Edward wanted.
"What do you mean?"
Demetri remained quiet for several moments, thoughts still rambling. Edward began growing impatient as he waited on him to speak. Walking closer to him, he kicked the sole of his shoe lightly: a reminder that he had been asked a question, and Edward was anticipating an answer; Edward had no patience for anyone in those moments.
"Well, Edward, I'd thought about it several times over the past years. I have thought about it enough to where I should have mentioned it to you as the time went by, but there was something in me that just didn't," Demetri admitted, seeming very regretful of his lack of initiative. "I'm upset over this, too, and don't think I'm not."
There it was again, that bit that could so easily find fault with Demetri. How much simpler it would be if he could take his rage out on a person, instead of it all building within himself. Regardless, he knew Demetri was mourning Bella; perhaps not in the same way as Edward, but in his own way, nonetheless. Edward saw Demetri's admittance of purposeful omission as another of his own shortcomings; Demetri had thought Edward found him lacking from time to time, and Edward never addressed it because the thoughts were so fleeting and infrequent. Perhaps he should have. Overall, it did not matter whether or not Demetri mentioned it because he should not have had to. Edward had loved her first; he should have thought of her.
Edward was angry. Edward was sad and ashamed. He wanted to fall into Demetri's arms and weep, and he also wanted to run away from him. He was unsettled; the only thing he was certain of was that for the first time in seventy years, he wanted to be human.
Deciding he would rather be angry than sad, Edward started ripping up the offensively beautiful flowers that spotted the meadow. Everything he could get his hands on he ripped from the earth, sometimes even clawing at the ground to get the roots, hoping they would not grow back. Edward was affronted that those plants and flowers would dare bloom and thrive in that place that was once so sacred, especially seeing as how the one that had made it so was no longer living. Should it not have shriveled up and gone barren the moment she took her last breath? Edward thought so.
"Don't try to take the blame from me," Edward snarled quietly, barely glancing over his shoulder as he continued his destruction.
When he no longer found destroying the meadow satisfying, Edward left Demetri there and began stomping through the woods, leaving broken foliage in his wake. Anything that stood in his way he destroyed. The farther he went, the faster he got, finding himself tromping up a slope as the terrain grew rocky. He did not allow it to slow him down as he continued to let the rage he felt overtake him. Lashing out allowed him to act without thinking. He did not think about Bella; he did not think about Demetri; he simply thought about the next thing he could get his hands on to tear apart.
Edward heard Demetri following him, but he would not think of him, so he ignored him. Hearing Demetri calling his name, he ducked into a moderately sized cave. He knew there was no hiding from Demetri, but felt the dark, dank space was a fitting place for him to wallow. Walking to the back, he had to duck down a bit to avoid some jagged rocks overhead. Edward punched the cave wall twice, satisfying cracks and groans echoing about the enclosed space.
"Edward, stop," Demetri said gently, walking up behind Edward and laying his hands on his shoulders.
Edward once again shrugged him off, his emotions still too tumultuous to handle a caring touch from Demetri. "Don't," Edward replied, moving towards the cave opening intending to exit. The sun had completely set, and Edward could hear the nocturnal animals coming out: creatures not so unlike himself, hiding from the light of day.
He thought he would run so fast and so far that he would not have to deal with what was happening; instead Demetri had decided not to be so gentle and grasped Edward from behind, holding him in place at the mouth of the cave.
"What are you running from? There is nothing that has happened today that will not catch up with you," Demetri whispered, even while Edward struggled against him. "Stop." Demetri's voice was forceful, not as gentle and calm as it had been moments before. His arms were crossed over Edward's chest, keeping his arms firmly at his sides.
"I don't know," Edward answered, ceasing his struggle. Demetri was right. "Do you ever wish you were still human?"
"Sometimes. If I had remained human though, Edward, I would have been dead a very, very long time ago," Demetri said. Edward thought about that and what it would mean for him. Life, immortal or not, would not be the same without Demetri, and Edward could not help but think that he would have gone on feeling like he was missing something.
"Why are we like this? Why was Bella human? Why does anyone have to die? What makes us so different?" Edward asked, not pausing to allow Demetri to answer any individual questions, not expecting answers.
"Edward," he started, loosening his grip. "Everyone and everything is different. You might as well ask why this rock is a rock." Demetri illustrated his point by bringing one palm to the boulders at the mouth of the cave, leaving the other wrapped around Edward in case he should decide to leave. "Those are things decided for us. Bella was meant to be a human, to grow old, to die, whereas you are meant to be immortal, to drink blood, to have super human senses and strength. Everyone – humans and vampires alike – wonders what they could have been and why they were not the thing they once dreamt of. I'm sure there's a dentist in New York who wishes he had been a firefighter, or a Buddhist monk who wishes he had converted to Catholicism and been the Pope. Some things are possible while others are not; it's just part of it. And as for 'why does anyone have to die'? Can you imagine if we all lived forever? If everyone was a vampire? It would be chaos. Why do you think Aro doesn't try to take over the world, Edward?"
"Why do you always make so much sense? Those were meant to be rhetorical," Edward chuckled, an undertone of madness in his laugh.
"Do you wish to be human?" Demetri turned Edward's question on him. He sagged against Demetri, feeling as exhausted as one who does not get tired can feel.
"I want to cry or sleep or sweat…to feel the bite of an insect, to stub my toe. I can't even remember what it feels like," Edward said, his anger finally burnt away, being replaced by that hollowing grief that left him empty.
"Edward," Demetri murmured against his throat. "I love you. Please, stop doing this to yourself. Fretting does not change anything."
Edward let his head fall back against Demetri's shoulder, finally giving into the comfort he offered. Again, Edward felt the pressure building and needed to cry, still anticipating tears that would never come, and Demetri only gathered him closer and whispered love to him. Edward made pitiful noises as he struggled against a body that would not give him what he needed.
"I do remember what it felt like to have a heartbeat," Demetri said. "The first time I went sailing, my heart was pounding so hard. I could hear it in my ears and feel it in my throat." Edward quieted as he listened to Demetri's smooth voice.
"Why can't I?" Edward asked.
"Be very quiet," Demetri replied, bringing his index finger to Edward's lips. Neither man breathed or moved for several moments, the sounds of the evening and the gently falling rain seeming to rise in volume.
"Do you hear those droplets hitting the ground as they run over those rocks?" Demetri asked, gesturing with his head towards a small outcropping. Edward nodded. Demetri moved his fingertips from Edward's mouth and rested his palm over his chest. "That's what it sounded like. Can you feel it?" Edward shook his head. "Close your eyes."
The command was clear and Edward complied, tuning everything else out but the sound of each drop as it came in contact with the damp soil. As Edward concentrated, Demetri recalled the memory: open ocean in front of him, wind in his face, a loud pounding in his chest. Slowly, the steady plop, plop, plop became thump, thump, thump and the sound that he had only the day before decided reminded him of how empty his chest was made it full, and he could swear that his heart was beating. His ears throbbed; he could not swallow; his face felt warm as though from a rush of adrenaline. "I can feel it," Edward sighed, an awed grin curling the corners of his mouth.
Feeling Demetri smile against his neck, he said, "Now, do you hear those droplets falling just a few feet away?"
"I do," he said, finding that tuning in on just those two sounds was much easier than he thought it would be.
"That one is mine." Edward allowed himself to hear the second sound, the two drops syncopating and then alternating. "Can you feel my heart against your back, Edward?" Demetri asked, one hand remaining stationary over Edward's heart as the other one travelled to his abdomen.
Edward clenched his jaw and squinted his eyes together even tighter than they already were and concentrated on the sounds until he was convinced that he could feel the thunderous pounding as it matched his. "I do," he answered, his breathing attempting to catch-up to the rhythm of his heart.
"Be careful," Demetri laughed as he covered Edward's neck in open-mouthed kisses. "I don't want you hyperventilating."
Edward could not help but laugh with him because he remembered something he had long forgotten. "I think you're sweating a bit," Edward joked, bringing one hand to Demetri's face, pushing his fingertips into his damp hair, feeling the rain on his face.
"You do that to me, Edward. You make my heart that was long dead alive again," Demetri replied, playfully taking Edward's earlobe between his teeth, before lowering his voice and whispering, "You're sweating a bit yourself." Demetri licked the moisture from Edward's neck, tracing his tongue around the outside of his ear. Edward shivered and swore he felt chill bumps erupt on his flesh, the tiny hairs on the back of his neck standing on end.
Edward swallowed as lust made him dizzy, his stomach twisting as he felt his trousers tighten. He turned around so that he could bring his hips flush with Demetri's and find some friction where he needed it. "I love you so much."
"I'm surprised you can still think enough to tell me that with all the blood rushing to you groin," Demetri hummed, pushing Edward farther inside the cave and up against the stone wall, grinding his stiffness against Edward's. Imagining that it was blood causing his arousal, he brought his mouth to Demetri's.
Realizing that he had not kissed Demetri in almost two days, he increased the pressure, Demetri parting his lips so that Edward could lose himself in the flavor of him. Demetri willingly let Edward take control, understanding it was something he needed.
Edward's hands shook as he pushed Demetri's jacket from his shoulders and unbuttoned his shirt. Looking over Demetri's exposed torso still elicited an unmatchable want from Edward, and he parted his lips and moaned as he felt his chest and cheeks flush.
"Do you blush like that all over?" Demetri asked, grinning and pulling Edward's shirt from his trousers as Edward unbuttoned the remainder of Demetri's clothing and pushed them down over his hips.
Once Demetri had Edward's shirt off and Edward pressed his back against the cool stone, he found that his body felt hot in comparison, that the pieces of uneven, ancient rocks hurt his normally numb flesh, and when they were both completely unclothed and Demetri pushed his warm frame against Edward, the contrast caused his want for Demetri to grow. His entire body seemed to throb along with the sound that could be his heart.
Demetri's arousal pressed alongside his own was radiating heat, and he grabbed Demetri's hips to press them harder against himself. Looking at him with parted lips and half-closed eyes, Demetri brought a hand behind Edward's head and joined their mouths once more. Edward inhaled deeply through his nose, filling his head with the scent of Demetri; he could never seem to get enough of it. Demetri's lips journeyed down Edward's throat, breathy kisses trailing over his Adam's apple, gathering the moisture that had collected at the base.
Edward opened his eyes as Demetri continued down his sternum. He glanced outside of the cave noticing a spider's web spun between some tree limbs; it was lovely with tiny drops of rain glistening in the moonlight as they clung to the strands. Noticing the spider scuttling about, he realized it was busy wrapping up an insect it had caught for its dinner. Of course, noticing a predator with prey turned his thoughts to Bella. He put his hands in Demetri's hair, urging him gently back to face level.
"Is this okay? Should I want you like this? Now?" Edward asked, hands still wound in the comfort of Demetri's dampened mess of hair. He implored Demetri with his eyes to give him confirmation, to let him know that everything was okay, or, at least, that it would be.
"Oh, Edward," Demetri breathed, tugging Edward's hands from his hair to around his waist, putting his own hands on either side of Edward's face. He simply looked at him for several moments, sorrow painted on his features. Edward thought he looked beautiful: straight-faced and solemn. "This is always okay," he answered, leaning in to Edward and placing kisses along the trails tears should have followed.
"I'm so sorry," Edward cried. "I said I would never do this you again. Never force you to take care of me while I moaned over Bella." Trying to turn his head, Demetri held him steady, still pressing his lips against Edward's face.
"She was your friend. You loved her. I know that, and that is fine. If you weren't upset, it wouldn't be right," Demetri whispered. "Now be quiet, and let me love you. Stay here. Nothing has to exist right now, except for this." Demetri covered Edward's mouth with his own, ensuring compliance.
The soft rain drops outside of their covering began to fall in earnest, the sounds bouncing off the cave walls, but Edward could still distinguish the two thumps that had grown so important to him. It was as though they were amplified and reverberating all around him, creating a rhythm composed solely for them when it was most needed.
Do you still feel it? Demetri thought. It's speeding up now.
Edward only moaned quietly; he could imagine he felt Demetri's heart where it continued to thump erratically against his chest.
Taking Demetri's advice, he thought only of him, his mouth and hips, heat and rhythm, cold stone and rain.
Demetri's roving hands whispered down Edward's sides, firmly gripping his hips, pushing him roughly into the wall behind him. The pressure it provided paired with the slight pain of the stones in his back caused Edward's breathing to speed up even more, and he returned the friction eagerly.
"Edward," Demetri panted, bringing one hand around to grip Edward's length and stroke swiftly. Edward gasped in surprise before letting his head fall back, a pleased sound unfurling from his chest. "I want you… " inside me, Edward, he finished with a thought.
Edward nodded, groaning at the thought of burying himself inside of Demetri's warm, tight, welcoming body. Falling to his knees in front of Demetri, Edward took his erection in his mouth without warning, resting his hands on Demetri's thighs. He hummed as his mouth was enveloped by Demetri's flavor in its most concentrated form. Demetri's stiffness was hot and heavy on his tongue; he wanted all of it. Demetri's fingers had wound themselves tightly in Edward's hair, beseeching Edward to take more into his mouth, to go faster. Edward was more than willing to comply because the lascivious sounds that Demetri made only left him wanting to hear more.
Smoothing his hands over the pale flesh of Demetri's thighs, Edward rested his palms on Demetri's backside. The louder Demetri became with each movement of Edward's head or swirl of his tongue, the harder Edward dug his fingertips into the roundness of Demetri's buttocks.
"Harder," Demetri hissed between clenched teeth. Edward was unsure if he had meant his hands or his mouth, so he increased pressure with both, loving that Demetri was quickly coming undone. Edward brought one rain slicked finger to Demetri's entrance and massaged the tight circle. Demetri bucked his hips into Edward's mouth and muttered under his breath as his eyes closed and his mouth hung open loosely. Edward's pace did not falter, and he smoothly inserted his finger inside Demetri, finding that spot easily and massaging it. Demetri's legs trembled when Edward inserted a second finger.
Edward looked up at Demetri; he was biting his bottom lip, his eyes closed and brow furrowed. He felt Edward staring at him and looked down, holding Edward's gaze. Purposefully, Edward took Demetri's entire length down his throat while firmly massaging the sensitive place inside Demetri. Overloaded by the sensations, Demetri's orgasm quaked through him, and he came as he groaned. Edward willingly swallowed Demetri's venom, the sweet, distinctive taste making his aching erection throb.
"God, Edward," Demetri said, catching his breath. "You didn't have to do that."
Releasing Demetri from his mouth, he continued to stretch Demetri's opening. "Come here," Edward said, using his free hand to pull Demetri into his lap as he sat of the floor of the cave, his back against the wall.
Straddling Edward's thighs, Demetri leaned in to kiss him – slow and sweet. Their tongues swept against each other in beautiful syncopation as their hands gripped and touched every bit of skin they encountered. Edward's lips blazed their way to Demetri's ear, holding his strong frame against his own as tightly as his strength would allow. "Do you still want me?" Edward asked against the shell of Demetri's ear, noticing the tremor that shook Demetri at his words.
"Always," Demetri answered, rising to his knees on either side of Edward's hips. He did not look away from him as he lowered himself onto Edward's heated, engorged flesh until he found himself seated against Edward's hips. Demetri closed his eyes, his head lolled slowly from side to side; he parted his lips and nearly purred as his fingertips clawed into Edward's chest. "Fuck, Edward. So, very good." Demetri rose up on his haunches slightly before pressing himself back down. "There are some advantages to being inhuman," he said, swiveling his hips and increasing his pace. Edward felt he would burst into a conflagration, not of fire, but of a yearning to get closer to Demetri. He was unable to stop his hips as they thrust upwards, seeking out more heat, more friction, more skin, more him.
Edward's hands traced all over the outside of Demetri as he buried the most intimate part of himself inside of him. Completeness, rightness, comfort and love were words made pointless when they could never be enough to describe the way it felt to make love to the man who had brought him everything, would give him more than that, and would continue to hold him together for eternity. There would never be an end to them because they were timeless.
No longer did Edward want to play human. Demetri was right; the returns of being immortal were staggering. Never would he have to watch Demetri fade out and fade away, age would never matter, never would their bodies wear out; they could have each other just as they were then – full of youthful vigor, strength and life. The years he had lived firmly behind him and forever in front of him, Edward wrapped an arm around Demetri's waist and stood, pressing his back against the rock wall.
Edward's rapid movements surprised Demetri but his excitement outweighed it as Edward began thrusting into Demetri with a new purpose: to show Demetri exactly how advantageous being superhuman could be.
Demetri was once again fully erect, and Edward reached between them wrapping his nimble fingers around his shaft. He stroked him with a perfect alternating rhythm between thrusts. Thrust, stroke, thrust, stroke, up, down, in, out. Edward sped up with each movement, his hips and his hand working together in a blur as Demetri held on, gasping for air, moaning and mumbling.
He felt the bite – the sting - of Demetri's fingers on the flesh of his shoulder, on his back; Edward adored it because he could withstand it, and he reveled in it. He would not bleed.
Both men groaned and panted asking for it harder, both men complying and going steps beyond. Edward was relentless in his movements, knowing that Demetri would not – could not – be hurt by him; he knew that the harder he plunged into him, the better it would feel for both of them.
"Oh, fuck, Edwa…oh, fuck," Demetri said, the noises and nonsensical words tumbling from his mouth nearing a shout.
"God," Edward said, watching Demetri, nostrils flared, his mouth opening and closing when he tried to speak but could only pant. "Fuck, I love seeing you like this."
Demetri opened his eyes and looked at Edward, jaw clenched and eyes black. Edward brought his free hand to Demetri's face, fingertips in his hair, holding him in place possessively as he continued his pace. Their eyes locked, and Edward saw himself in Demetri's thoughts: teeth bared and eyes lustful.
Love seeing us like this, Demetri thought, leaning forward and capturing Edward's lower lip between his teeth. He bit down before thrusting his tongue into Edward's mouth, nothing gentle or coaxing about his movements. Edward returned the forceful kiss with an equally powerful one.
The rain outside was slowing down – tapering off.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Edward was aware of his release building, that need to come burning in his groin, thighs, and lower back. He would wait until Demetri asked it from him because he could. He was stamina; he was unchanging; he was strength. Edward was whatever Demetri needed him to be.
Demetri's fingers relaxed a moment before gripping Edward even tighter than before; Edward had not thought it possible. Demetri's eyes closed once more as his body tensed. Edward felt Demetri's orgasm beginning to overwhelm him - not only in the muscles clenching around Edward where their bodies connected, but in his thoughts. "Edward…nnnn…I'm going to…I want you to come with me." The look that befell Demetri's face as he spilled himself between their rain slicked bodies was more than enough to drive Edward over the precipice with him. They fell together, tumbling, tangling, struggling for breath and finding it as their mouths melded together.
Whispered words of love, words of forever, a sigh, a gasp, a forced breath, a cry, then quiet.
They slid together to the cool floor of the cave, the temperature a welcome balm to their heated flesh. Edward continued to hold Demetri tightly, thinking of the word 'always' and all that it meant.
"Immortality means that you'll never leave me, doesn't it?" Edward asked as Demetri brushed the tendrils of hair from his eyes – everlasting fingers on world-weary skin.
"Never is a promise," Demetri replied, pulling Edward closer, pouring words of always into his ears.
The rain had stopped.
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."