AN: So, ummm, here's the super late chapter! I'm sorry it took so long! It sort of morphed into this giant huge word monster =.= Anyway, I know I said that this chapter would have France, Prussia, and Spain in it, but I had to cut them out because the chapter was just getting too long :/ Some other characters ended up getting introduced though, so I'm hoping that it balances it out. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter too! ^^
Fanart!: Oh my gosh you guys! VeeVours was super awesome and drew this story some fanart! Alsdkjfkdjfjsodf *spazzing* If you'd like to see it the link is: http:/ i132. photobucket. com /albums/ q15 /kotoha/ comic .jpg Thank you very much! Your art style is amazing XD I have no idea what to give you :/ um um um...Roderich's piano? XD
Chapter Dedication: Today's chapter dedication goes to bunniez-r-luv! Thank you very much for your super kind review! Would you like to adopt Alfred's whale? :D
Super Quick Recap: Bituin=Phillipines, Juana=Mexico, Guoliang=Hong Kong, Chen-chi=Taiwan, Durag=Iceland
Disclaimer: I don't own Axis Powers Hetalia...
Chapter 5: Adventure Time!
Denmar stared at his best friend. "Come again?" he asked, scratching the back of his head.
Nor huffed angrily. "Is there only hot air in that head of yours? I want to kill a human!"
Denmar frowned. "Aren't you the one who gets all gung ho about respecting human life and all that bullshit?"
"Well, there is no reason for me to respect this human's life! He messed up my entire plan!"
"So what if some kid let his hero complex get the better of him? That's hardly a good reason to kill him. And all this is coming from me, the guy who likes messing with mortals."
Nor glared, hating that the one time he actually wanted his 'friend' to be his usual irrational self, Denmar had to go and be all logical.
"…I still don't like him."
"And you don't have to," Denmar soothed. "But he's already there, so why don't you just take advantage of the situation? Besides, from what you've told me, the prince already likes him very much," Denmar snickered.
Nor rolled his eyes at the North Wind, but took his words to heart. That's right, the foolish boy was already in the arms of the prince, and Ivan seemed to actually like the annoying blond. While he had not been planning on the recent turn of events, he supposed he could still manipulate their lives to his heart's content.
Finally, he nodded at Denmar. "I will continue to manipulate the situation. But I won't be happy about it," he warned, frowning at the beaming smile on Denmar's face.
"See? Isn't my plan the greatest? I can be smart too!" The North Wind said, proudly.
Nor just snorted, already drifting away. He needed to return to the castle immediately. He would need to observe this Alfred a little closer so he would be able to throw him and Ivan into romantic situations with each other.
('But first, I need to check on the rest of that family. I can't have them doing something that will throw off my plan as well.') The ice spirit thought, zooming back towards the lands he controlled.
Arthur shook as he glared down at the offensive piece of paper in his hand. He could not believe the nerve of that boy! Wait, scratch that, he could believe Alfred had the nerve to do this, but Arthur never would have believed he would be stupid enough to actually follow through with it. Arthur could feel the vein in his forehead getting bigger.
"U-um, what does it say, Arthur?" Matthew asked worriedly. He could tell by all the grease stains and chicken-scratch-style writing on the paper that it was a note from Alfred.
Arthur growled. "The bloody twit went and sacrificed himself in your place!"
"What?" Matthew yelped. He snatched the note away from Arthur and quickly scanned it.
To Whoever Finds This First!
Hey You Guys!
So, I've been watching you all mope around this past week like "Boo hoo, Mattie's going to be taken by the big bad Scarf Freak! I wish there was something we could do! ;A;" Well, I got tired of watching your sorry asses and came up with the most brilliantly awesome plan ever!
The day before Mattie has to go give himself up, I will sneak out of the house and give myself up instead! It's perfect, right? The dumb Scarf Guy will think I'm Mattie, and when his guard is lowered I'll defeat him and be the hero! Then I'll come back and we can have a party to celebrate just how fucking kickass I am ;D
See you guys~
Matthew stared incredulously at the note. There was no way his brother could be that stupid right? Hadn't Alfred been present when Arthur had said the man he'd offended was probably magical, and therefore almost impossible to kill through normal means? Matthew tore his eyes away from the paper to look at Arthur, who had sat down heavily in his armchair and was muttering furiously to himself.
"Oh my god, Alfred is such an idiot," a voice said behind Matthew, making the timid blond jump. He whirled around and found that Juana (who had spoken), Bituin, Guoliang, Chen-chi, and Peter had read the note from over his shoulder. "W-when did you guys get here?" Matthew murmured.
"A little while ago," Chen-chi chirped. "We were all ready to be depressed, only to find that you actually hadn't left yet."
Matthew didn't quite know how to take that.
"So Alfred's gone and sacrificed himself? Oh no!" Bituin exclaimed. Everyone knew the Filipina and American had been close. Actually, Alfred had been pretty close to everyone, despite how much they complained about his annoying and loud mannerisms.
"Well, Jerk-Arthur? What do we do?" Peter asked. Everyone turned to the head of the family expectantly. Arthur scowled back at them, before sighing.
"Right then," he muttered. "Now, how many of you lot want to save that sorry excuse for an intelligent human being?" Unsurprisingly, all hands were raised. Arthur just sighed again and shook his head. "Alright… Juana, Guoliang, Chen-chi, and Matthew. This is what we're going to do…"
Matthew numbly stuffed some clothes into his knapsack as his brain went over Arthur's plan of action.
"So here's the plan, ladies and gents. We're going to get our idiot back, but we can't do it by ourselves. We're going to have to call in a bunch of favors."
"What? How are favors going to save anyone?" Juana asked skeptically.
Arthur smiled in a way that made everyone shiver. That was the smile of Pirate Arthur. "Well, my dear, it's the type of favor that will be saving that sorry arsehole. I'm sure you all know that I used to be, well…"
"Not a gentleman?" Bituin chipped in helpfully.
"Er, yes, that. Well, when I was being…not a gentleman, I did a lot of things for a lot of people. Now, some of those things were not the most legal or noble things to do, so of course I demanded a sort of payment in return."
"What kind of payment?" Guoliang asked, interested despite himself.
Arthur grinned maliciously. "A no-holds barred favor. Basically, I can ask anything of the people I worked for, and if they're smart, they won't refuse to pay their debt."
Chen-chi cocked her head to the side and asked, "But how does that help us rescue Alfred?"
Arthur met everyone's eyes and slowly said, "We are going to raise an army. Then, we're going to burn that godforsaken castle to the ground."
Matthew sighed and shook his head. Personally, he thought that was a little extreme. He'd rather run into the castle, grab Al, and get the hell out. But he knew that this had become somewhat a matter of pride for Arthur; the green-eyed blond wouldn't stop until he thought he'd put the Lord of the castle in his "rightful place".
Matthew rolled his eyes at how prideful his older brother could be and went over his mental checklist of the items he absolutely needed to bring. ('Kumajojo, check. 3 bottles of maple syrup, check. 2 extra large boxes of pancake mix, check. A pan to cook said pancake mix, check. Extra pair of glasses, check. Clothes, check.') Matthew smiled. He was ready.
Matthew huffed as he struggled to get his bulging knapsack down the stairs. He was almost at the landing, when he suddenly felt a dark, suffocating aura. Shivering, the blond turned and squeaked as he spotted Arthur in the living room, cackling quietly over an old and worn chair. Matthew ventured closer, and against his better judgment asked, "Arthur? W-what is that?"
Arthur turned slowly towards Matthew, an evil grin on his face. "This? This, my boy, is Busby's Chair."
Matthew blinked. ('What in the name of Celine Dion is Busby's Chair?') "Um, okay, Arthur. What are you doing with it?"
"Well, I'm going to bring it with us of course! It's the ultimate weapon."
Matthew stared. "Are you going to beat people with it?" he asked sounding a little worried.
"Are you daft? Of course not! I'm going to make them…sit in it."
"…And then you're going to beat them?"
Arthur looked at him as if he was Alfred. "Why would I beat them with it when making them sit would be much more effective?"
Matthew was now seriously confused. Before he could ask about what Busby's Chair really did, Guoliang came down the stairs with his and Chen-chi's bags. He took one look at them and stopped, setting the bags down and pulling a firecracker out of his pocket. Grabbing a match from his other pocket, he quickly swiped it on the banister and touched it to the firecracker. Without batting an eyelash, he chucked the explosive across the room towards Arthur and Busby's Chair.
Arthur gaped before jumping out of the way. Matthew watched with wide eyes as the firecracker sailed through the living room and landed neatly on Busby's Chair. Everything was calm for 2 seconds and then the firecracker exploded in a dazzling shower of sparks. He turned to see Arthur reaching towards the Chair, face set in an expression that rivaled the man's in the painting The Scream.
Arthur could only stare in horror as his beloved ultimate weapon, Busby's Chair, was blown into pieces. He slowly got up, staring at the demolished Chair before turning and flying at Guoliang in rage. "YOU BLOODY UNGRATEFUL TOSSER! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE?"
Guoliang shrugged at the shorter male before making his way down the stairs again, heading out the door to where Chen-chi and Juana were busy saddling the horses and checking the saddlebags to make sure everyone had adequate provisions. Arthur growled before grabbing his cutlass that he stowed in the cupboard under the stairs, and marching out the front door too. ('Thinks he can get away with destroying Busby's Chair, does he? I'll curse him so hard, he won't feel his vital regions for a week!')
Matthew watched the both of them leave, eye twitching. Why was he the only sane one in the family? He followed his insane brothers outside, climbing up on his horse, Bieber. The horse shifted slightly to get used to the added weight, and let out a high-pitched, almost musical whinny. Matthew smiled, patting the horse's neck and turning him so that they were facing Arthur who was already astride Frog.
"Okay, does everyone remember the plan? And don't look at me like that Peter, it's for your own good."
Peter just glared harder from his place in the doorway. "But it's no fair, Jerk! Why do Bituin and I have to stay here while you guys get to go all over the world?"
"First of all, we are not 'going all around the world'. Juana is going to the Commonwealth of Australia, Chen-chi and Guoliang are heading to the Republic of Ireland, and Matthew and I are traveling to the Roman Empire. Second of all, you and Bituin are too young; you can barely pick up my cutlass. Lastly, what if Alfred comes back? It would be no good if we were all gone."
Peter pouted, not wanting to acknowledge Arthur's logic. He turned and stomped back into the house, muttering angrily to himself. Arthur shook his head exasperatedly. There was just no pleasing that boy! He faced Bituin, who was also sulking a little, and asked, "Well? Do you know what you are supposed to do?"
Bituin glared a little before saying, "Mr. Berwald and Mr. Tino will drop by later today to watch over us. We will do what they say, and make them as comfortable as possible while they live with us, which will be about a month. We are to continue our chores as if nothing's changed."
Arthur nodded, satisfied. His eyes softened as he looked at the angry girl. "I know you want to help, Bituin, but believe me when I say that you are helping this way as well. We'll be back before you know it, all right?"
Bituin just stared at the ground, nodding reluctantly. Sighing, Arthur turned to Juana. "Do you remember what you'll be doing in Australia?"
"I'm supposed to find some guy named Steve. He's a Beast Tamer, right? I need to get past all his crazy animal guards and convince him to come with me so he can help us get Alfred back. And um, I think you said I should watch out for his koala? Why? They don't look all that threatening…"
"His koala is always with him and is the fiercest animal on the face of the planet. Trust me on that one. Remember, don't stay any longer in Australia than you need to. Get back as soon as possible."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about me, Hermano. Us Mexicans are born tough!"
"Right. Anyway, Guoliang, what are you and Chen-chi going to do in Ireland?"
"We must track down a man called Ian who is rumored to be the stealthiest man in the world, despite his size. We should have no problem getting him to come back with us because he is a very honorable man who will do his best to repay his debt. However, we must take care not to be seen with him, for he is wanted dead by many people."
"Right you are. Now, Matthew and I are going to the Roman Empire to ask for a small army from the emperor, Roma, whom I helped put into power. Does anyone have any questions?"
Chen-chi cleared her throat, and whispered, "What if we don't come back a month from now?"
Arthur pursed his lips. "Then we will assume you are late and carry on with the attack." Noticing Chen-chi's downcast face, he added, "I am sure we will all make it back in one piece. Don't worry too much." Chen-chi gave him a reluctant smile and nodded. Arthur smiled back before letting his emerald gaze drift over everyone else.
He coughed awkwardly. "Well…See you lot in a month then. Come, Matthew." The Englishman urged Frog into a gallop, heading East. Matthew smiled at his older brother's obvious reluctance to having a long, hearfelt farewell and called out his goodbyes, turning Bieber to go after Arthur. Guoliang and Chen-chi left next, heading West, while Juana turned to the South to reach the port town of Dover so she could catch a ship to Australia. Bituin watched them all go before heading back inside.
She closed the door sullenly, the house suddenly feeling much larger and quieter. She turned and then jumped a foot in the air when she spotted Peter right behind her. The little blond grinned up at her. He had a knapsack in his arms and a rapier strapped to his hip. Bituin eyed him suspiciously. "What are you up to?"
"Let's go to China!" Peter suggested.
Bituin stared. "Wha-? Peter, you know we can't! We've gotta wait here in case Alfred comes back!"
Peter snorted. "What are the chances of that idiot getting back here on his own?" Bituin opened her mouth, but was cut off. "About the same as Jerk-Arthur having thin eyebrows!"
"You've got thick eyebrows too…"
"So we should go to China!" Peter yelled, completely ignoring the islander.
Bituin rolled her eyes. "Even if I wanted to, we couldn't for two reasons. One, no one is here to wait for Alfred, and two, the Opium Wars are going on in China. It's too dangerous, which is why Arthur didn't send anyone there!"
"Ugh!" Peter groaned. "Why are you being such a…a…an Arthur about this? Okay, look. Those guys Berwald and Tino are coming right? We can leave them a note telling them where we went and to wait for Alfred here instead of looking for us. And we're just kids so as long we keep our heads down, stay away from major trade cities, and don't cause any trouble, we should be fine!"
Bituin raised an eyebrow. "And if a battle breaks out? You look totally British, they'd skin you alive over there if they found out you were from England!"
"Well, then, we get the hell out of there so they don't get the chance to find out I'm from England! Duh!"
The older girl shrugged, biting her lip. "I don't know…Arthur'll be really mad if he finds out."
"Then we'll just make it back here before him. What do you say? Don't you want to help Alfred?"
That did it. "Okay. We'll go. Grab some paper and write that note, I'm going to go pack real quick."
Peter smirked. This would teach that jerk to leave them behind! He walked over to the kitchen, ignoring the banging and thumping upstairs that signified that his sister was packing, and grabbed a piece of paper. He scribbled a quick note explaining where he and his sister had gone, what they were going to do there, and that Berwald and Tino should not come after them for any reason whatsoever.
He had just put the note down on the kitchen table when Bituin came back downstairs, all packed and ready to go. "You finished?" she asked. Peter nodded, smiling widely. "Okay, then. We'd better go before Mr. Tino and Mr. Berwald get here!" she said, shuddering at the mental image of an angry Berwald.
Peter laughed excitedly and ran out the door. "To China!"
Tino Väinämöinen sighed in relief as the Kirkland Farm came into view. He squirmed restlessly on the saddle, causing the man behind him to grunt. Berwald Oxenstierna, the local town's blacksmith, squeezed Tino more firmly, getting his little wife to stop moving. Of course, he couldn't control the little dog in Tino's arms, who jumped out of his master's grip and ran towards the farm, barking.
"Hanatamago! Come back!" Tino yelled worriedly. "Come on, Berwald! Hurry up!" he urged, hoping his pet wouldn't get eaten by a cow or something. Berwald just grunted again, but shook the reins, making their horse go faster.
After what seemed like forever to Tino, the horse stopped in front of the Kirklands's front door. The small blond beamed, jumping off the horse and running to Hanatamago who was waiting for the two men on the doorstop. Berwald followed at a more even pace, taking in his surroundings with a never-ending scowl on his features.
Tino scooped his fluffy white dog up and began scolding him softly for running off like that, knocking firmly on the door as he did so. After standing on the porch for five minutes, Berwald lost patience and tried the door. The knob turned easily, and the two showed themselves in. After all, this wouldn't be their first time babysitting the youngest Kirklands.
Berwald wandered up the stairs to find the kids, while Tino made his way into the kitchen. He checked the pantries and cupboards to find that most of the food was gone. This was puzzling as the Kirkland house always had a generous amount of food stored away. The Kirklands were a big family, and he knew that some of them (*cough*Alfred*cough*) ate quite a lot. Tino shook his head, closing a pantry door. They would have to go back into town to get some more groceries.
Berwald came back down the stairs, confusion making his expression even scarier. "Th' k'ds 'rn't 'n 'ny 'f th' b'dr'oms." Tino blinked at him, translating the sentence in his head. ('The kids aren't in any of the bedrooms?')
"Maybe they're outside in the fields then? I'll go look."
"W'it." Berwald muttered, spying the note on the table. "Wh't's th't?"
"What's what?" Tino asked, turning around. After spotting the little piece of paper, he shared a glance with Berwald and picked it up, reading through it quickly. Berwald watched curiously as his little wife paled considerably and started to shake.
"Wh't's th' m'tter, w'fe?" he asked, concerned.
Tino shot him an embarrassed and annoyed look at the moniker. So what if he cooked, cleaned, paid the bills, and was always on the bottom concerning certain bedroom activities? That did not make him the wife! And so what if Berwald was always working in the smithy and had more muscular arms from being a blacksmith and had a deep, sexy voice and was bigger than him down there…
"T'no?" Berwald asked worriedly. His wife had totally spaced out.
Tino shook his head, Berwald's voice effectively bringing him back from Lala Land. The small violet-eyed blond began to shake again, as the gravity of their position fully weighed down on him. "Peter and Bituin have run away, to China. What do we do, Berwald?" Tino wailed, lower lip starting to tremble.
Berwald's eyes widened. "Wh't?" he asked in a dangerously quiet voice.
Tino was too much into his panic attack to notice. "They've run away! They want to go to China to find some Wang Yao guy! What are we going to do, Berwald? If Arthur finds out we lost his siblings, he's going to kill us!"
Berwald growled, grabbing Tino's arm and dragging him back outside to where their horse was grazing lazily. "Berwald?" Tino murmured, looking up at the man he loved.
The Swedish man looked right back at him, a hard frown on his face. "W're g'ing t' f'nd th'se k'ds and br'ng th'm b'ck."
"But how are we going to find them? They could be absolutely anywhere right now!"
Berwald's face softened as he looked at his lover's eyes, gleaming with unshed tears of worry. "Shhh. C'lm d'wn. F'rst we 're g'ing t' go b'ck t' th' v'llage…"
Tino could only nod in acceptance to Berwald's plan, which was actually quite good. They would go back to the village and ask Tino's little brother, Dagur, to watch over the Kirkland farm and keep all the livestock alive. Then they would find a man who was supposedly a skilled tracker. At least, Berwald had heard that the Korean man, Im Yong Soo, was very good at finding people from the gossip in the tavern The Black Rabbit.
Berwald was sure that he would be able to help them find the kids, if not Wang Yao himself. Tino just hoped that they would find Bituin and Peter safe and sound. The forests of England were not safe places, and heaven forbid they actually make it to China before Berwald and himself found them.
('Please, please, please be safe.) He prayed, as he and Berwald raced back to the village, panic and worry gripping them like a vice.
So Berwald and Tino get dragged into the mess as well! Along with Im Yong Soo apparently ^^ Bituin and Peter are headed for a whole lot of trouble DX For the next chapter, would you guys like to see more of what's going on outside the castle, or more RusAme interaction? The former is nearly done, so if you vote for it, it'll be up quicker than the other one, and it DOES have the Bad Friends Trio in it for real this time. The RusAme one is mostly Ivan-centric and it'll reveal why he did what he did and show more of the inner workings of the castle. Sooo yeah. Oh, and yes, Justin Bieber was totally a horse in a past life ;D
Hermano: Spanish for brother
Tosser: British slang for someone who is a jerk. Literal meaning is someone who masturbates ._. Alternative word for it is wanker.
Firecrackers are actually illegal in Malaysia, the Republic of Ireland, Sweden, Singapore, Canada, Taiwan (only in urban areas though), and some areas of the United States, Indonesia, and Hong Kong. However, these places usually lift the ban around New Year's since many Chinese people celebrate the New Year by setting off fireworks and firecrackers.
The Black Rabbit is an actual pub in West Sussex, an English province.
If you type in google. cm you get the French version of google :/
References!: I'm guessing most of you have seen the Disney Beauty and the Beast where Gaston rallies a bunch of angry villagers to storm the castle. This is sort of like that, but more international ^^