Disclaimer: not mine at all

Title: Seven Deadlies

A/N: So I did Seven Deadly Sins for BTVS-'verse a while back, and I had SO MUCH FUN that I decided to do the same thing for FIREFLY! Multiple sins per character, multiple characters per sin. Drabble-y. Spoilers for TV series and movie, no comics.

Chapter 1: I Wish That Was Me (Envy)

Simon, pre-Jaynestown

I really like Kaylee. Like, really a lot. I'm just not sure how to tell her, or how to show her. I mean, I'm polite, and courteous, but I don't think she… realizes what it means.

There are days I wish I could just… I don't know, be like the Captain, or Wash. Not Jayne. He's too horrific. But, they seem to know how to deal with girls. Or, women, I guess.

OK, Mal clearly has no idea what to do about Inara, but I think he knows what to do in general. I have no clue. I was so focused on the MedAcad that I never had much time for… dating.

Don't get me wrong, I've dated before. I've been with women that way, just not that often. There were more important things. I never had that much time for a social life.

Now I wish I had.

I really, really like her. Kaylee's… she's smart, and beautiful, and sweet, and everything I could ever want in a girl. But I don't know how to tell her that.

I'm not… good with words. I can't tell her how I feel without being an idiot and sticking my foot in my mouth. It's why I haven't tried. I know it'll end badly. I'm not that guy.

I wish that was me.

...

Zoë, post-Movie

I miss him. I miss my Wash so much it makes me physically sick sometimes. At first, I thought it was because I might be pregnant. But I'm not. That kind of makes it worse.

He's gone. Forever and ever. I'll never see him again.

What makes it even worse? Simon and Kaylee. Mal and Inara.

They're all… couple-y. Simon and Kaylee are so much worse than Mal and Inara. Those two at least are still awkwardly dancing around the possibility of anything. But Simon and Kaylee?

They're… together. All the time. Trying to separate them is like trying to separate Jayne from Vera, or his grenades, during a firefight. It just can't be done.

And it makes me so mad, because I've lost the man I love. I will be alone forever. I'll never find another Wash. He's gone, and it cuts like a knife.

I hate them, sometimes. For being so happy. So nauseatingly happy.

I wish that was me.

...

Wash, War Stories

I love my wife. I really do. And I trust her more than I've ever trusted anyone before, or ever will trust anyone.

But there are times she's the most infuriating person I've ever met.

Her blind faith in the Captain, and the way she just does whatever he says without question makes me crazy. It's like she doesn't have a mind of her own sometimes.

She doesn't listen to me that way. I'm not saying I want someone who just does whatever I say all the time. But I do want someone who respects my opinions, and who respects me as much as she respects Mal. Who actually listens to me, and… Argh. I don't really know what I want. I do know that I don't really like how things are going right now. I would love it if she listened to my opinions sometimes.

And the way they tell those war stories kind of gets to me. They're all tough, and ass-kicking, and all that stuff. And I'm really not tough, or an ass-kicker. It makes me feel… incompetent.

After all, I am a large, semi-muscular man! I can take anything they throw at me.

Well, maybe not torture. The torture isn't really… a good thing, you know? But Mal could handle it. He's… tough. I'm really not.

I wish that was me.

...

Kaylee, Heart of Gold

I like these girls. They're real nice, and they're not all sticks-in-the-mud about sex and physical stuff. Not like some.

And they're real pretty, too.

They're a lot like 'Nara, if a bit less fancy and Core-planet-y. But I like that about them. They're more relatable, I guess. I know that 'Nara sometimes intimidates people. But she's real sweet.

I wish I could be like her sometimes. 'Specially when I'm tryin' to impress a certain Core Doctor who's kind of a stick-in-the-mud about sex and relationships.

I bet Inara could snap him out of that stuffy-reserved-thing he's got goin'. I bet she could… well.

You know what I mean.

I wish that was me.

...

Mal, Shindig

OK, aside from the fact that this hun dan is treatin' 'Nara like crap, he's just pissin' me off in general. Nobody should treat people like that, 'specially not a classy lady like Inara. Yes, I may call her a whore all the time, and to her face, but I'm the only one who gets to do that!

I'm insulting her profession; he's insulting her. And there's a world of difference.

He might kill me tomorrow. Fact, he probably will. And I don't want her goin' with him.

But, he can afford to give her the life she deserves. I… All I can give her is a cramped shuttle on a dirty old ship.

OK, Serenity ain't dirty. She's a damn good ship. But Inara deserves so much more than anything I can give her. Not that… not that I have any right to give her anything. I don't want to, either.

Ah, damn it.

I hate that hun dan. He's got everything she could ever want. If he makes an offer to her, she'll probably take it. And there ain't a damn thing I can do about it.

He has everything. He's gonna get the most beautiful woman in the 'verse.

I wish that was me.

...

River, Objects in Space

They think in straight lines. This leads to this leads to this. They don't see the fluctuations and permutations and twists and bends and the unexpected turns that fling you into walls.

Their thoughts don't hurt their heads. Their eyes only see what is there, and they can only hear real, honest-to-Buddha sounds.

They don't see the impossibilities, and the probabilities, and the certainties. They don't hear every little thought around them. They don't even hear all their own thoughts. They think they only think one thing at a time. They don't hear all of their thoughts at once, all the random tangents and side-trips and one-notes about nothing relevant. Their thoughts hurt the inside of her head, and she doesn't know how they can function with all that noise.

Simon especially thinks in very linear patterns. Very doctor-y. Very Simon-like. He always thought this way, even before the Academy with the Hands of Blue and needles and tests and questions and cold rooms and empty spaces and…. But she tries not to think about that. No. I try not to think about that. The Academy ruined everything. It ruined Simon's life, even though he didn't go there. He wasn't experimented on, turned into a doll that turns into an assassin. Not like me.

There's no girl left anymore. Not like everybody else.

I wish that was me.

...

A/N: So… how was that? The next sin up is PRIDE! Any suggestions for who best fits PRIDE? Read/review, please! And keep in mind that since Firefly got cancelled so freakin' early, there aren't that many episodes to get inspiration from, so some of these may be a bit repetitive (or redundant), and I may use the same episode for a character like six times (think Wash in War Stories, mostly because that's really the only ep where he's a major character). So… sorry in advance. XD