Just One Big Happy

x x x x x

Wilson set the beer on the ground and rummaged for his key, struggling to keep the pizza boxes level.

"House! Why did you lock the door?"

"Sorry. New habit. Toddler rules. Hurry up, it's started already!"

"Because if I miss the first few minutes of a monster truck rally … I'll never be able to follow the plot."

"Because I don't want you prancing back and forth in front of the tv screen when the action starts."

"Of course."

Wilson put the pizzas on the coffee table with a couple of beers for each of them, and headed to the kitchen to stash the rest of the beer in the refrigerator.

"Want a plate?" he called from the doorway.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Just thought you might be getting more civilized these days. My mistake."

"But bring some napkins."

"..."

"Shut up. And get in here already, you're missing stuff."

x x x x x

"Want another beer?"

"I'm good . . . . . But then, you know that ..."

"Keeping this place was the smartest thing you've done since … whatever smart thing you did before that."

"I, unlike some people, am a man of great foresight."

"I have foresight!"

"Just no foreskin."

"I'm Jewish. Sue me."

"Hey, I'm not complaining … you do a pretty good job with what you have."

"Why, thank you."

". . . such as it is."

"If you want I can wrap it back up and take it home ..."

"In a little while ... I'm not finished with it yet ..."

x x x x x x

"So are you staying here tonight?"

"Haven't decided. Lisa said she'd be really late, so I'm open."

"My favorite position of yours ..."

"You're getting almost as good as me with the sexual innuendos."

"I did learn from the master."

"Did you tell Sam when to expect you?"

"No, I'm available all night too. Since she and Lisa are taking Thirteen to that new Lesbian bar they like so much after the fund-raiser, I told her I'd probably stay out tonight."

"So ….. wanna go later and crash our little carpet-munchers' party?"

"Getting bored with me already?"

"Not. Just thinking about the possibility of a 5-way ..."

"Keep dreaming! You're fifty years old. Three of the five would be sooooo disappointed after about fifteen minutes."

"You wound me!"

"Roll over and I'll try."

x x x x x x

"Sam wants to learn to play your organ."

"Only if she promises not to bite me."

"Funny."

"Did you break her of that yet? Lisa hasn't said."

"Seriously House. I keep telling her you're going to collect it."

"And put it where, Wilson, on top of the piano?"

"Well … you could take it to the house."

"No way! One more thing that makes noise and is within Rachel's reach and I will completely lose my mind. That Fisher-Price piano you got her is bad enough."

"Bet she plays better than Sam. Honestly the noises she makes come out of that organ … I forget sometimes that it is a musical instrument. Sam makes it sound like a torture device!"

"Suffer."

"Please, House?"

"Ooooh …. beg some more, it's soooo hot!"

"That's your job."

"Hey, now I'm really not moving it."

"By the way, where IS Rachel?"

"Lucas and Alvie are taking her to Kutner's birthday party at that kids' pizza arcade thing – the one with the big cartoon weasel on the roof."

"I'm pretty sure that's a mouse, House."

"Thank you, Dr. Seuss. It just kinda looks like Lucas. I assumed it was a weasel."

"Lisa let's them keep her all night?"

"No, but she's chilled a little since Lucas child-proofed their place."

"Bet he needed to do that anyway, for Alvie."

"Huh huh, yeah probably was a good idea for lots of reasons. But they'll drop her off at the nanny's after Kutner's party."

"House?"

"Yeah?"

"Life is good."

"Domestic bliss."

"Best of both worlds."

"And about damn time."

x x x x x x x