In case you hadn't guessed, this is based on the song "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera. If you've seen the video, you will know the EXACT skirt I had in mind whilst I wrote this fic.
So anyway, here I am with more smut, and this time we've got Naruto in a skirt! -dribbles shamelessly- Its just a random one-shot that plagued my mind all day until I wrote it down (in my lunch break at work no less), but was inspired by most of darkalbino's fics. Though she will never read this, because I am not one of those cool writers that everyone in the fandom has heard of -cries-

Warnings: Naruto in a skirt, Sasuke talking dirty, sex in public between two boyzzz.

Disclaimer: Not owned by me D8


It seemed that Sasuke really didn't have a sense of humour.

Naruto had known this for a long, long time (too long, in his view), and really should have expected consequences like this, but he hadn't thought Sasuke would have reacted so vehemently to Naruto's little stunt.

After all, how was Naruto supposed to know that Sasuke had been in a conference when he called him? Or that he had been on speaker phone? And that Sasuke's entire family had heard how much Naruto was looking forward to 'screwing Sasuke until he was unconscious and covered in cum'?

Naruto had known exactly what had happened as soon as he heard the outraged scream of Sasuke's father over the telephone. Sasuke had promised him a very humiliating punishment before abruptly cutting the call off.

Naruto had expected Sasuke to be pissed. He had expected punishment. Hell, he had even expected that Sasuke would do something to completely debase him.

He hadn't expected this though.

"Y'know bastard, if I didn't know better, I'd say you've been waiting for a chance to make me do this," he snarled as he stepped out of the bedroom and into the living room. Sasuke was stood in the middle of the room, eyes fixed with a glazed film on the TV. He was dressed in dark smart Levi's, the ones that Naruto had picked out because they made him look like a clean-cut, damn sexy rock star, as well as a very attractive dark blue shirt that brought out the navy tint to his hair.

When Naruto stomped into the room, Sasuke tore his eyes away from the plasma screen, laid one look on his blond idiot of a boyfriend, and smirked maliciously.

Naruto remedied his earlier statement about Sasuke's lack of a sense of humour. It was there alright. It was just so sick and twisted and dark that Naruto hadn't realised it was a sense of humour.

Sasuke took in Naruto's outfit with open amusement, though his dark eyes were flashing dangerously enough to alert Naruto to the fact that if he pushed the Uchiha he would wind up dead rather than humiliated.

Actually, death sounded like a great alternative right about now.

"Where the hell did you get this shit anyway?" he demanded, gesturing at his less than favourable garments. "And how the hell do you expect me to walk in these?" He pointed viciously at the knee high black stiletto boots with lots of huge silver straps and buckles adorning them. He'd only had the damn things on for a maximum of three minutes and already his toes felt like they were being vacuumed compressed.

Sasuke didn't say anything, just continued to look at him, his eyes focusing in particular on the vast expanse of honey-golden skin on display in the form of Naruto's slim but very defined thighs. The Uchiha let his evil grin widen further, as Naruto's rant continued.

"And what the hell is this?" the blond groaned, plucking at the ridiculously flimsy t-shirt that clung to his slim torso like a second skin. You could see his nipples through it for god's sake! And the worst thing was, the t-shirt was the least outrageous part of the outfit. "Do you want me to freeze? It's not exactly wet t-shirt contest weather outside Sasuke!"

Sasuke still didn't reply. His eyes were firmly fixed on Naruto's lower half, his grin so wide that it looked unnatural on his face. Which brought Naruto to the cherry on the cake, the pinnacle of his complaints.

"And what," Naruto growled, "the fuck," his fists clenched at his sides, "is THIS?" He jabbed a shaking finger at the short pleated grey skirt skimming the very tops of his thighs. It was the kind that fanned out at the slightest swish of the hips, and was clearly made of a very expensive weave of fabric that many girls would have given their left breast just to touch. The warm grey complimented Naruto's tanned legs very well.

Sasuke finally spoke. "It's a skirt, idiot."

This was clearly not the answer Naruto had been looking for. "Bullshit! This isn't a skirt, it's a belt! You can see my ass every time I walk!" To demonstrate, he stumbled across the room on his three inch heels towards the couch. And Sasuke saw that you could indeed see Naruto's ass. It looked extremely nice and pert and fuckable in the tight brief boxers he had been forced to don.

Overall, Sasuke was extremely pleased with Naruto's outfit.

"Are you ready to go then, dumbass?" he asked, trying to keep the lust out of his voice. As much as he was dying to shove Naruto against the nearest wall and screw him, he had a point to prove to the blond. Even if the skirt hung off Naruto's narrow defined hips, and the t-shirt clung to his slender shoulders, and the boots made the muscles in his thighs clench every time he took a step. Plus, the fact that Naruto hadn't had a chance to cut his hair yet and it fell around his tanned face in shaggy golden layers totally completed the look.

"I don't even know where you're intending to take me, dressed like this," Naruto spat, gesturing viciously at his attire.

"Dancing of course," Sasuke replied, picking up his jacket, keys and wallet from the couch where he had left them. "I got us passes for Haku's."

Naruto's eyes were wide circles of blue. "You're taking me to a drag club?" he screeched even as he tottered after Sasuke out of the door to their apartment and out into the autumn night. Sasuke unlocked the car and opened the driver's door as Naruto stomped around to the passenger side.

"I don't know why you're complaining so much," he said as he slid in behind the wheel. Naruto flopped down next to him in the passenger seat. "If anything, I've done you a favour. You won't stand out next to all the other queens."

There was a thump as Naruto slammed his hands down on the centre console. "There's just one fucking problem with that, Sasuke! I'm. NOT. A queen!"

Sasuke started the car and pulled out of the driveway. "Tonight you are. Be grateful I'm not taking you to a normal club, where one of your friends could see you. At least you know that Kiba won't be at Haku's." He saw Naruto pale at the idea of his best friend seeing him dressed like this. "See? I could have been much, much crueller."

"Fuck you, Sasuke," the blond mumbled dejectedly.

"Oh no, Naruto, after the little stunt you pulled today, you won't be fucking me for a month. I hope you still have those crutches from when you broke your leg, because your ass is going to hurt."

"I'm sorry, okay!" The car rolled to a stop at a red light. Naruto dug his fingers into his bare thighs. "I'm fucking sorry! I can't say it enough! I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of your family and co-workers! I was just trying to cheer you up because you had been complaining about work… I didn't know you were in a conference." He sighed and glanced out of the window, watching the buildings fly by.

Sasuke tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he pulled off when the light changed. "I know that Naruto. And I accept your apology. However," he continued before Naruto could say anything, "You still need to be punished."

"You just want to see me in this fucking skirt," Naruto huffed, crossing his arms and pouting like a child. Sasuke couldn't deny that what his boyfriend said was true. He had been holding onto those particular items of clothing for a few months now, and now just happened to be the perfect time for him to fulfil his little fantasy without the risk of Naruto backing out of it.

Sasuke put his blinker on and turned into the multi-storey car park just behind the gay club strip. He saw some of the tension leave Naruto at the sight of men climbing out of cars in similar or far more outrageous outfits than his. Sasuke was glad that Naruto didn't have make up on like the rest of the men dressed in girls' clothes. He wouldn't have found Naruto half as attractive if he had had bright red lipstick on.

They found a space and got out of the car, Naruto shivering in the cool night air. Sasuke looped his arm around his boyfriend's waist and began to lead him towards the exit.

"People are staring," Naruto muttered in Sasuke's ear as he tried to walk smoothly in the boots. Sasuke tore his gaze away from the golden thighs and looked around. It was true, a lot of men were staring at Naruto, but it wasn't so much with the confused, surprised or repulsed looks one would expect a transvestite to get on the street in the daytime. They were stares of wonderment.

"I think they're just admiring your ass," he replied, and just to assert his territory, he reached down and gave Naruto's butt a sharp smack that rang out in the building.

"They can look, but they can't touch," he chuckled as Naruto covered his face in shame.


Haku's turned out to be the antithesis of what Naruto had expected a drag club to be like. He had been entertaining wild visions of queens on stages, dressed in bikini's and not much else, whilst men leered from the side lines at the rest of the boys dressed as girls.

Haku's was like your average nightclub. The only difference being, everyone was male, and more than half of the customers wore girl's clothes. It was very familiar and relaxing, and soon Naruto found himself snuggled up on a sofa with Sasuke whilst they drank cocktails and commented on the outfits the other boys were wearing.

He was loathe to admit it, but it was actually kind of fun. He wasn't even cold anymore, because the amount of bodies in the building raised the heat significantly.

Sasuke noticed Naruto begin to relax with a smile. Whilst his original goal had been to humiliate Naruto, he did want his boyfriend to have a good time, especially seeing as this was an experience they weren't likely to have again. However, he did intend on forcing Naruto to dance by the end of the night, whether he liked it or not.

They had a good view of the heaving dance floor from where they were. Techno-dance music thrummed through the speakers and men grinded against each other in the masses of bodies, faces flushed and hair sticking to their faces. Some were kissing, some were necking, and some were dragging partners outside for more. Sasuke couldn't wait to get Naruto down there.

He waited until Naruto had finished his fourth Long Island before standing up and pulling the blond to his wobbly feet.

"What's going on?" Naruto asked, stumbling after Sasuke as the Uchiha made his way towards the dance floor. Grasping Naruto's hand, he led them through the grinding bodies, aiming for the far wall which was lined with mirrors. Naruto's eyes widened in understanding when they stopped just short of the wall and Sasuke pulled their bodies flush against each other.

"Dance with me," he growled, grasping Naruto's hips and pushing one denim-clad leg between Naruto's own bare thighs. He began to grin against Naruto, rolling the blond's hips to force him to do the same.

Naruto grasped Sasuke's shoulders tightly as Sasuke's leg pressed against his crotch, the skirt barely concealing the action. Sasuke was already flushed and perspiring in the heat of the dance floor, his bangs sticking slightly to his forehead and a wicked grin on his face as Naruto began to dance without Sasuke's direction. The Uchiha had a very clear view in the mirrors of the way the skirt swished to reveal Naruto's ass with every roll of his hips.

"You have no idea how fucking sexy you look right now," he growled in the blond's ear, still watching their reflections over Naruto's shoulder. Sasuke's pale hands began to stray from the slim hips they had been set on, roaming over Naruto's lower back and pushing the t-shirt up to reveal more delicious russet skin. Naruto groaned quietly, barely audible over the music, as Sasuke's grinding began to make him hard.

"Right now," Sasuke said as his hands dipped lower and snuck under the pleated skirt, "I want nothing more than to slam you up against that mirror and screw you." He cupped the tensing cheeks of Naruto's ass and squeezed, eliciting a louder moan from the shorter male. "Long, hard, and in front of everyone."

"S-Sasuke…" Naruto's hands slid up into the Uchiha's hair, clenching around soft thick strands of obsidian. He pressed their foreheads together as they began to grind more forcefully. He could feel Sasuke's erection pressing against his hip. Sasuke tightened his grip on Naruto's ass.

"Naruto, kiss me."

The blond was all too willing to oblige. He pressed their mouths together roughly, tightening his fingers in Sasuke's hair, and let out a trembling groan as Sasuke shoved his tongue into Naruto's mouth, licking and tasting whilst their lips collided in a frenzy of gasps. Naruto drank in the familiar taste of his boyfriend, the flavour of sharp red wine, lapping submissively at Sasuke's invading tongue as their chests melded together in their desperation to be close to each other.

Sasuke broke the kiss suddenly, and spun Naruto around to face the mirrors. Coming up behind his skirt-wearing lover, he pressed his erection to Naruto's ass and grabbed the blond's hips again, restarting the grinding rhythm. Only this time, Naruto had a full on view of himself. He watched in fascination as they moved against each other, knees bent slightly, with Naruto's quad muscles clenching visibly under the taut tanned skin. The skirt did nothing to hide Naruto's hard-on, and his flimsy t-shirt was now soaked with sweat, showing off toned abdominals and more of that wonderful brown skin.

"See?" Sasuke growled in his ear, and Naruto watched as Sasuke's red tongue came out to trace the shell of his ear. "See how good you look? See how jealous everyone is of me?" Indeed, several people appeared to be almost green with envy as they watched the blond and the raven dance. Naruto couldn't tear his eyes away from the reflection, his damp yellow hair, his electric blue eyes, and his scantily clad body.

Sasuke's hands raced over his body, sliding over his torso to tease his clearly visible nipples through the shirt, tracing the definition of his abs before trailing down past the skirt to rest on Naruto's hot thighs. His palms moved in teasing circles over the searing skin, starting on the outside but slowly working their way inwards, closer and closer to Naruto's straining erection.

Naruto couldn't take any more when Sasuke's fingers began to ghost over his balls. "Goddammit Sasuke, just fuck me already!"

There was a loud grunt as Naruto was shoved against the mirrors, his palms splayed out and leaving finger marks all over the glass. Sasuke was behind him in a heartbeat, his hands under the skirt and tugging at the waistband of Naruto's briefs. The blond groaned loudly when Sasuke's mouth latched onto the column of his throat and began to suck harshly, teeth digging into the skin as he did so.

"Sasuke!" he gasped, whilst the pale hands pushed his briefs down over his slender thighs. One encircled his erection and pumped on it twice harshly, causing his legs to buckle. "Nng!" he grunted, thrusting up into that hand in search of more friction.

Sasuke released Naruto's throat and smirked at the huge bruise forming there, licking at it like a wolf before moving to create another right next to it. He began to fist Naruto's cock shallowly, stimulating the head but not the shaft. It caused Naruto to tremble and whine as he continued to buck into Sasuke's hand desperately; looking for a release he wasn't permitted to have yet.

"Please," he gasped. "I'm gonna go crazy…"

Sasuke smirked triumphantly and brought his free hand up, trailing two pale fingers across Naruto's swollen and parted lips. Naruto didn't need to be told what to do; he immediately sucked the fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them and coating them in saliva. Sasuke watched the ridiculously erotic act in the mirror, catching Naruto's reflected gaze occasionally whilst he continued to pump on the writhing blond's dick.

Sasuke pulled his fingers out of Naruto's mouth with a pop and trailed them down between their heaving bodies, under the skirt. Naruto trembled as one wet finger encircled his hole and then Sasuke pushed it in, uncaring of whether or not they were being watched. Naruto's forehead came into contact with cool glass as he rested his head against the mirror, still jerking his hips towards the hand that was pumping on his cock but now pressing back on the intruding digit between thrusts. Sasuke quickly added a second and third, stretching Naruto's entrance and spreading his fingers, loving the feeling of Naruto's tight walls clamping down on them and imaging how it would feel when it was his cock that was in there.

"Now, now, now!" Naruto started to gasp, hot breath fanning out over the mirror and his fingers scrabbling for purchase on the glass. Sasuke withdrew his fingers and unzipped his jeans rapidly, pulling out his painfully hard member. He lined it up with Naruto's stretch hole and without warning thrust into the blond up to the hilt.

Naruto's eyes rolled back in his head as his prostate was grazed and his cock twitched madly in Sasuke's now still hand. Immediately, the Uchiha began to pound into him, hard and fast whilst he continued to pepper Naruto's neck with hickeys. Naruto found his entire body pressed against the mirror, the glass cold on the front of his bare thighs whilst the sounds of techno bass and dancing bodies swam around him. He jerked with every thrust, moaning and gasping.

"Y-yeah, oh god." Sasuke's hand began to pump him again, this time with long, rapid strokes that made everything in Naruto's brain turn white with a tinge of red hot pleasure. Sasuke's dick was brushing his sweet spot with every thrust in and out of Naruto's ass, and Naruto knew he was going to cum very, very imminently.

"Sasu… gonna… don't stop!" Sasuke growled and sped up his thrusts, his hips smacking against Naruto's ass as his cock plunged in and out of that delicious tight heat. And then he started to talk dirty.

"You really enjoy this, you little whore, don't you?" he growled in broken gasps, fisting Naruto's dick ferociously. "Look at you, you're being fucked on a dance floor, wearing a slutty little skirt, and everyone is watching, and you're gonna cum 'cause of it!"

"Oh god, yes!" Naruto howled, his bangs falling in his eyes, his shoulders hunched and his hands clenched against the glass. The skirt swished with Sasuke's violent thrusts.

Sasuke clenched his hand tightly around Naruto's cock. "Cum then, you filthy fucking slut!"

"Nng-aahhh!" Naruto hollered, his dick spurting out ribbons of cum into Sasuke's hand and onto the mirror, clenching down wildly on Sasuke's dick. Sasuke's hips became a blur as he fought to reach his own completion, and he buried his face in Naruto's sweat-darkened hair as he coated Naruto with white cum from the inside. The blond shuddered at the feeling of the wetness filling him, whimpering as he road out his own orgasm.

"Hah…" Sasuke gasped as soon as he could think coherently again. "Fuck."

"Bastard, get off me now," Naruto mumbled, his face extremely red. Nobody was paying them any mind save for a few knowing looks, but the fact that he had succumbed so easily and let Sasuke fuck him right there, in public, was absolutely mortifying.

Sasuke pushed off him, discreetly doing up his jeans whilst Naruto winced and tugged his briefs back up, attempting to straighten his skirt.

"I'm never wearing this fucking outfit in public again," he hissed as he followed Sasuke to the restrooms to get cleaned up. He collided with Sasuke's back, as the Uchiha had stopped. "Ow! What the fuck?"

Sasuke glanced over his shoulder and grinned wolfishly. "So you'll wear it for me at home then?"

Naruto blinked. "What the- I never said that!"

Sasuke turned and tugged Naruto in, kissing him roughly. "You don't get a choice, Naruto," he hummed against the blond's lips, rolling the name off his tongue in that sexy way that made Naruto's insides turn to goo.

"As soon as you put that skirt on, you became my bitch."


-stares pointedly at the review button-