Disclaimer: these characters aren't mine and I make no profit etc
Harry was pregnant. He still couldn't get over that fact. He had been sitting in the infirmary for a good twenty minutes by now trying to process such an unexpected shock. Since when in the hell can guys get pregnant? Harry kept asking himself repeatedly, unsatisfied with the answer being that this was the magical world and clearly anything was possible.
Harry had been sick recently, but not being a fan of the infirmary, he had hidden his illness from everyone as best he could for the past few weeks. His friends may have noticed him being a little pale, but that was all they picked up on. Harry ended up in the infirmary after passing out when he hopped on his broom and got hit with one hell of a bout of nausea, causing him to promptly fall off his broom.
Presently, Madam Pomfrey bustled back out of her office and noticed Harry still sitting on a bed in shock. Walking over to him she waved her wand, performing a diagnostic spell to ensure that the shock wouldn't cause him or the baby any health issues. Receiving the desired answer she prodded Harry in the leg, none too gently.
"Up you get Mr Potter. I know this has been a bit of a shock for you, but I think it would be best for you to meet up with your friends. Talk to them. I'm sure they'll support you in this."
Harry nodded numbly, slipped off the bed and plodded back to Gryffindor common room, vaguely wondering why his friends hadn't been in the infirmary with him as they usually were. Opening up the portrait, he immediately got his answer when he heard Hermione's voice at several decibels higher than usual, ranting about Ron going flying irresponsibly when there was such a huge pile of homework that he had so far neglected to do.
Walking fully into the common room, Harry immediately caught the attention of Hermione. "Oh Harry, I was so worried when I heard you fell off your broom. Are you alright? What did Madam Pomfrey say? Come sit down, put your feet up, relax."
"You know 'Mione, he'd probably answer you if you gave him the chance." Ron stated, walking over and sitting next to Harry, completely ignoring the glare Hermione was sending his way. "Alright there mate? You were gone longer than we would have expected."
"I'm pregnant." Harry whispered out, still in shock and not even registering the thump that came after his pronouncement when Hermione suddenly realised she needed to sit down and missed the couch. "How is it even possible that I'm pregnant? I'm a guy. Guys do not get pregnant! I don't even have the right stuff to have a baby. Oh my god, how am I supposed to give birth, it would never fit!" Harry started panicking, barely getting enough breath in. His friends, while also in shock, needed to get some answers first.
"Harry." No reaction. "Harry!"... Slap "HARRY!" looking bewildered, Harry turned his gaze to Hermione. "What do you mean you're pregnant?"
"I mean I woke up in the infirmary to Madam Pomfrey waving her wand over me, as usual I asked what the verdict was this time and she turned to me and said 'Congratulations Mr Potter, it appears you are two and a half months pregnant'! I mean what the hell? I asked for clarification and she told me that while male pregnancy is extremely rare, it isn't unheard of. Apparently no one knows how it is they get pregnant either." Here, Harry looked a bit sheepish. "Well, apart from the whole having sex with another male part that is."
Ron was gaping at him, trying to process what his best friend was saying. "But Harry, I didn't know you were gay." Hermione slapped him. "Ouch!"
"Honestly, 'I didn't know you were gay'? Try to be more sensitive Ronald." Turning to Harry and speaking in a soft voice she asked the question, "So what happens from here Harry? Are you going to keep the baby? Are you going to tell the other father? Wait, who is the other father?"
Here, Harry turned bright red and looked suddenly very awkward. "Oh well uh, I think I should tell the other father before I let you guys know, and of course I'm going to keep the baby, what do you take me for?"
"Well I wasn't sure" was Hermione's come back.
"I'm gonna go take a walk, clear my head and think a bit." Harry said, getting up and moving through the portrait.
"Well that was bloody unexpected." Ron stated as soon as Harry was out of the room.
"Watch your language Ronald. And yes, it was." Turning to Ron, she suddenly got a glint in her eye. "And don't think this will get you out of your homework either." Ron just groaned and reached for a stack of parchment.
Meanwhile, Harry was just walking around aimlessly, still processing very little and unconsciously rubbing his stomach in soothing circles. Suddenly, Harry walked into someone and fell on his butt with oof.
"Watch it Potter" Malfoy stated from where he was standing. Harry just looked at him saying nothing. As he started walking away though, Harry suddenly called out.
"Wait." Seeing Draco without any of his goons hanging around for once, Harry knew he had to take this opportunity, especially since he would probably chicken out if he gave himself time to think about this anymore. "Can we talk?" Harry asked quietly.
With a quick glance around the empty hall, Draco indicated the abandoned room they were standing next to. Walking in he proceeded to cross his arms over his chest and glared at Harry. "Well?"
"Um ..." Harry stated. How to tell your enemy that you are pregnant with his child? "I ... uh ... you see it turns out I'm pregnant." Harry said, looking anywhere other than at Draco.
"And why do you think I care?" Draco responded coldly.
Harry let out a huff of air. "We had sex a couple months back Malfoy; I am now a couple months pregnant." Harry stated.
Draco appeared to be frozen. "Uh, so I'll just be going now." Harry said, backing towards the door.
That seemed to snap Draco out of whatever stupor he had been in. "Oh no you don't. You can't just say something like that and run away." Grabbing Harry by the arm ensured he could not escape without a fight. "Now let me get this straight. You are pregnant. "Harry nodded. "And I am the father." Again Harry nodded. Draco seemed to ponder this a moment, still not letting go of Harry's arm. "Well shit. Now we have to get married."
"What?" Harry gasped out. "No, no, no. Just because I'm pregnant does not mean we have to get married." Harry stated, starting to panic.
Draco just looked at him. "No Malfoy child has ever been born out of wedlock and it's not about to happen now. I will have to owl mother right away so that she can start on preparations."
Harry just stood there speechless as Draco started planning out all that needed doing, still disbelieving of what was happening. He came back to himself when Draco started snapping his fingers in Harry's face. "Come on, we have to go talk to Dumbledore."
Draco just gave him a look. "Now that we are getting married I can't have you sleeping in a separate dorm to me. No, we are getting our own rooms." Draco nodded to himself and started pulling Harry out the door.
"Wait, I didn't agree to marry you yet." Harry called out almost desperately. Draco didn't deign to respond and just kept tugging Harry along. After two floors Harry got sick of this and dug his heels in. "I am not going to marry you just because we had angry hate sex one time and I ended up pregnant." Harry burst out, completely oblivious to the third year Ravenclaws who had been walking past at the time and stopped to gape at what they just heard.
Draco chose to ignore them too. "You know that was bloody great sex Potter, now we get to do it all the time." Moving closer to him, he whispered in Harry's ear, "I've been trying to figure out how to get you back under me ever since you escaped last time and now with that baby, I've got a good reason to pursue you." Harry swallowed thickly, trying hard to ignore how turned on he was right now. Draco, seeing no more opposition in Harry for now, proceeded to continue pulling Harry to the headmaster's office.
Upon arrival at the guarding gargoyles Draco was momentarily stumped as to how to proceed, when to his great fortune, Professor Snape came from around the corner.
"Mr Malfoy. What are you doing here?" Glancing at him practically holding Harry's hand "And with Potter of all people?"
Draco smirked at his godfather. "Well you see, we need to go see the headmaster and get a change in our accommodations."
"Oh?" Snape replied.
"Yes." Draco continued almost gleefully at the prospect of the coming response. "You see it turns out that I got Harry here pregnant, and so now we are going to get married, and since we are getting married, I think it only prudent that we have our own rooms."
Snape looked like a fish out of water. "You are marrying Potter?" He questioned, hoping he had misheard.
"Yes and we're getting married too." Draco smiled broadly. "So can you let us into the headmaster's office?"
Snape mumbled 'fizzing wizzbees' and then walked off in a dazed stupor.
Draco looked at Harry. "I liked that reaction, maybe marrying you will have its perks after all."
Draco just smirked at him before they went up the stairs and to the door of Dumbledore's office. "Ah, do come in Mr Malfoy, Mr Potter." Was the reply after knocking.
Opening the door Draco saw the headmaster practically beaming at them. "So I hear congratulations are in order?"
"That they are headmaster." Draco responded happily. "We are here to see about getting some new quarters to live in."
"Of course, of course." Dumbledore replied. "I'll have the house-elves on it right away."
So yep, I'm leaving it like that folks, after all, to right more would no longer be unexpected but clichéd. Enough reviews and I may reconsider though