Warnings: YAOI (boyxboy) of the TykixLavi and the AllenxKanda variety. Total CRACK and major INNUENDO.

Disclaimer: I don't own these lovely characters, that honor belongs to Katsura Hoshino. (Though if Hoshino-sama ever has a sale, I call dibs on Tyki… what?)


"And Lenalee Li is up to bat. She's excellent in the outfield, but hasn't even gotten a base run yet this season. To boot, Tyki Mikk has managed to strike out the last four Exorcists up to bat! Mikk's fastball is in top form today, folks!"

Lenalee walked out onto the field, a hard helmet sitting securely on her head. Her expression was determined, her bat clenched tightly in one hand as she strode out to take her place by home plate.

Her eyes narrowed as the announcer's words registered. It wasn't as though she were a terrible player and she could hit well enough - it wasn't her fault she hadn't gotten to first base yet.

She shot an annoyed look towards the first baseman; her older brother. Komui was playing for the other team and somehow he managed to catch the baseball no matter where she hit it. She had purposely hit it straight at the third baseman more than once, but Komui was quick on his feet and always managed to catch the ball and get her out before she could really play.

But this time, she was determined.

"What will Lenalee do?"

She took her stance, lifting up her bat and clasping it tightly with both hands. Mikk was smirking at her, casually tossing the ball to himself as he waited for her to be ready.

Lavi, playing catcher, shifted slightly and readied himself to catch Tyki's pitch.

Tyki caught the ball and held it. He moved the hand holding the ball behind his glove, narrowing his eyes in concentration.

Lenalee glared back, resisting the urge to turn her glare on her brother. All she wanted was one base, just one base... she wasn't trying to hit a home run.

Tyki was suddenly in motion and she blinked quickly, attention riveted on the motion of his arm.

"And there it is! Mikk's fastball!"

The ball was almost a blur as it hurtled towards her. Lenalee kept her arms relaxed, muscles reacting almost before her brain did when the ball came within range. She struck it full-force, a satisfying 'crack' coming from the wood of her bat as the ball abruptly reversed direction and flew away from her faster than her eyes could track.

She didn't wait to see where it was going, just dropped her bat and ran for first.

Her heart pounded. She could barely hear the announcer over the rush of blood in her ears.

"A good, clean hit! That ball is going, going-"

She didn't smile, didn't dare. She was getting closer, closer... just a little bit further-

"-and it's CAUGHT by Komui Li! Lenalee is OUT!"

Lenalee stumbled and fell, tripping and landing roughly just before first base. For several seconds, she didn't bother to stand, just stared longingly at the base lying so close and yet so far out of her reach.

"Excellent catch by Komui - Komui came out of nowhere to make that catch!"

Lenalee pushed herself glumly to her knees, looking up at the screen where she knew the instant replay would be showing. The footage had been slowed down, clearly showing Komui leap in front of Allen to catch the baseball. She didn't need to watch his lips move to know he had shouted her name.

"Lenalee still hasn't gotten to first base! This makes three outs for the Exorcists!"

Lenalee got to her feet, heading back to the dugout to grab her glove and inwardly fuming. This was the closest she had ever been to first base, and Komui had ruined it yet again.

She sighed wistfully. Better luck next time.


Lavi crouched behind home plate, glove raised to catch. There wasn't a game going on right now, so he and Tyki were using the baseball diamond for practice.

Lavi had been the catcher for Tyki ever since the older man had started playing. Lavi used to be just another batter for the Exorcists, but when Tyki had joined the Baseball League on the Order's side, the redhead had wanted to switch teams and join the Order. He hadn't been able to fully make the switch and play for the other team, though he had been allowed to play catcher whenever Tyki was pitching. Since the catcher was basically neutral, it was almost like switching teams anyway. The BL only had two, after all, since not many of the Finders were interested in playing.

The redhead had helped Tyki practice his pitching, though truth be told Tyki was a wonderful pitcher. Still, practice was never a bad thing and it had become almost habit for them to come out to the baseball diamond and practice for a bit after dinner.

"Lavi, are you ready?" Tyki called out. Lavi nodded, adjusting his position and preparing himself.

"Go ahead!" Lavi replied. Tyki drew his arm back and threw.

The pitch was perfect, the ball moving fast and hard and striking the target dead-on. Lavi's glove closed around the ball and the redhead smiled. He removed the ball and tossed it back, Tyki catching it easily.

"Faster!" Lavi told him, holding up his hand to catch. Tyki nodded and drew back, then threw again. Lavi's eye almost couldn't follow the ball this time and he grunted in surprise when he felt the ball impact his glove, once again dead-center. He nearly fell over from the force.

"Too much for you?" Tyki asked, voice almost teasing. Lavi shot a mock-glare up at the man, then smirked in reply and stood.

"I can handle anything you can give me," he said confidently. Tyki raised an eyebrow, lifting his gloved hand up to catch the ball as Lavi returned it.

The redhead nodded, punching the center of his glove before moving it in preparation to catch.

"Come on, give it to me! Hard as you can!" Lavi said. Tyki smirked again then breathed deeply and pulled back his arm to throw.

The pitch was definitely the hardest yet. Lavi gasped as the ball hit his mitt (once again, the strike was dead-on) and thrust the mitt back into his chest almost hard enough to knock the wind out of him. He drew in a big lungful of air, stumbling back a half-step.


Tyki's voice was almost concerned. Lavi looked at him and smiled thinly.

"I'm fine, just needed a second... didn't expect it to be so..." He lifted and lowered one of his shoulders in a shrug. "Let's keep going."

Tyki smiled in return.

"Yes. I do rather enjoy practicing my pitching with you, Lavi..."


Kanda shifted on base. He kept a careful eye on the third baseman, noting that the man was watching him just as warily as though expecting Kanda to try and steal home.

Kanda scowled. The stupid beansprout had just had a talk with him last night about stealing bases. In the BL, stealing bases was illegal and Kanda would get benched for the next two innings whenever he stole one. Allen didn't particularly mind it when Kanda stole first or second, but got more annoyed when Kanda stole third or tried to steal home. Though Kanda had been to third base at least four times this season, Kanda had yet to score a run.

Kanda didn't care. He'd steal a base if he felt like it and no stupid beansprout was going to tell him otherwise.

He shifted again, turning his gaze to home plate where the next batter was taking his stance. Kanda's scowl darkened. It was Allen's turn. The sprout's eyes were narrowed in concentration, the boy staring directly at the pitcher and waiting for the ball.

Kanda glared. It was entirely the beansprout's fault that Kanda hadn't gotten home yet. Kanda usually got a single or double when he hit and Allen was always up by the time Kanda was on third base. Of course, the white haired boy never seemed prepared to bat when it was his turn. Allen saw the BL as a fun way to pass the time, not a competition. The sprout rarely practiced his batting because of that, though Kanda did grudging admit that his batting wasn't bad and he had the makings of a decent catcher. Kanda didn't know how Allen was at pitching, but didn't particularly want to find out.

Even so, for all the beansprout's skill at batting, it seemed that whenever Kanda was on third and ready to rush home, Allen would falter or get caught out. Once was irritating, but understandable enough, but it had been four fucking times that Kanda had been ready and Allen had cracked under pressure. If Allen didn't even get a base hit, that would make five times and Kanda's patience would be at its end.

"Come on, idiot..." Kanda muttered, still glaring at Allen. He watched, gritting his teeth as the ball whizzed by Allen and struck the catcher's mitt with a loud 'thwack'. Allen hadn't even swung.


Again. This time, Allen swung but completely missed the ball.


Kanda's eyes narrowed further.

Again came the pitch. No swing.


Again. No swing.


Kanda felt a muscle in his face twitch. Allen had two balls, so if he got two more he would walk and hopefully the next batter would be able to HIT something. Allen also had two strikes... if he didn't hit this one and struck out, Kanda was going to wring his neck when he got back to the dugout.

Again, the pitch.

A loud 'crack' echoed out across the diamond as Allen struck. The ball went soaring up and away, flying cleanly towards the outfield and not even threatening to go foul. Kanda grinned, turning and running for home plate. Finally, the beansprout would let him score. It was about damned time.

Kanda was less than three steps from home when the sound of the announcer's voice reached his ears.

"-and a spectacular catch by Tiedoll of the Order! Walker and Kanda are both OUT and everyone knows it! No way anyone could contest that... really amazing catch by Tiedoll-"

Kanda skidded to a halt less than an inch - hell, almost less than a centimeter - from home plate. He jerked his gaze towards the outfield, glaring for all he was worth though he knew that Tiedoll couldn't see his expression from this distance.

Tiedoll waved merrily at him. Kanda scowled and turned away, stalking back to the dugout.

He growled in frustration. Next game, he would score. Hell, next game he would hit a home run.

He didn't think Allen would complain.


A/N: I came up with this in Math class. I don't know how or why. I hope you all enjoyed! I may eventually do more for this, but I'm not sure yet. ^_^

I don't know that much about baseball, so if you notice any errors, please let me know! This was just written to be funny.