Okay, this fanfic is going to be a little funny. I have always wondered what would happen if Bella was on her period, and I wanted to write this when it got in my head! Here is my newest story!

Chapter 1: Blood, Tampons, And Teasing

I woke up groggily in the middle of the night. I looked at my alarm clock with the tiny red digits that reads 2:13 A.M.

Ugh. I got up and walked into the bathroom. As soon as I pulled down my underwear and sat on the toilet, the first thing I saw was… blood. No. No, no, no, no, no, NO! I can NOT have my PERIOD NOW! Please, dear Jesus, let this be a nightmare, let me wake up and be happy. No such luck. I groaned. Of course, the night Edward is away hunting with his brothers and I have no tampons or pads and I have my period. This is great.

I sighed, and put toilet paper in my undies for now, then grabbed my cell phone to call Alice, Esme, or even Rosalie. I don't care, as long as I get my freaking tampons! I punched in Alice's number and heard the dial tone. Dang it. I dialed Esme's number and also heard a dial tone. Please God. Why do you hate me? I dialed the last number. Rosalie. She hates my guts, even after I saved her brother's life. She hates me less, but nonetheless, she still hates me. Finally, I heard a ring. Once, twice, three times, before I hear:

"What is it, Bella?" Rosalie asked in an annoyed tone. I sighed. This is not going to be easy.

"Um… Rosalie? I kinda need a favor. I couldn't reach Alice or Esme, and I didn't want to bother you, but I seriously need help, and since the other's had their phones off, I needed to call you because I can't call the boys or Carlisle, that would be too embarrassing, so I-" she cut me off with a laugh.

"God, Bella! Just get on with it! What the hell do you need at 2:16 in the morning so much that you actually called me?" she said in her irritated tone again. I gulped and said in a quiet voice.

""I just got my period, and I need tampons." I said half-strangled. It was silent. Then, suddenly, I heard a laugh. No. I heard more than one laughs. I heard boy and girl laughs. That's it. I snapped my phone shut, and grinded my teeth together. Edward, Emmett, and Jasper are supposed to be hunting. Then, it came to me. Alice.

The pixie saw this happening and wanted to embarrass me. Some friend. I stormed downstairs, effectively waking Charlie up.

"Hey! Where are you going, missy?" He said angrily. I spun around, my face red.

"I'm. Going. To. Walmart. To. Get. Me. Some. Tampons." I said through tightly clenched teeth. Charlie stepped back. He knew how I got when I had my period. He was frightened. Good, Charlie. Be afraid, be very, very afraid. Wow, strange thought. Charlie cleared his throat.

"Well, ah. Well Bells, I think you should spend the next five to seven days at the Cullen's, you know. I um, am going fishing with Billy tomorrow, well, I guess it's today, and I wouldn't want you to be all alone here in this big old empty house…" He stopped at the look on my face. Pure rage. He was leaving me? To fend for myself? HOW DARE HE!

"WHAT KIND OF A FATHER ARE YOU? WHEN I NEED YOU MOST, YOU SEND ME OFF TO A PLACE WHERE YOU WOULD NEVER LET ME STAY UNLESS THE EARTH ENDED? HOW DARE YOU!" I screamed. I heard a knock on the door. I stormed over, red in the face from anger, and swung the door open to see an angel faced Alice staring up at me. Bull. I can tell she is trying not to laugh. But, in her tiny, petite hands, were a gift from God himself… Tampons. Thank you Alice!

"Alice!" I said sweetly, happily. Charlie's mouth dropped open, then, he shook his head.

"Women." I heard him mutter. That made me angry again for some reason.

"EXCUSE ME? WOMEN? SO WHAT… ALL WOMEN ARE THIS WAY? HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH THINGS! YOU KNOW WHAT? I WILL GO WITH ALICE AND THE REST OF THE CULLEN'S! WHILE YOU ARE FISHING, I'LL BE LIVING IN HELL AND YOU… YOU WILL BE ENJOYING YOURSELF… BY FISHING!" I screamed while Alice stood there amused and Charlie looked frightened.

"Good luck, Alice." I heard him whisper. She giggled. Stupid pixie.

"Don't worry Charlie. All girls become moody during their period. It's common. I'll let Bella sleep in my room. Don't you worry about a thing! I'll make sure to take good care of her while you go fishing!" She said sweetly in her, 'I'm so innocent, bow down to me and do everything I say' voice. Stupid pixie.

Within 20 minutes, I was at the Cullen mansion, with Carlisle handing me some pills. I immediately threw them right at Emmett.

"Give them to the family idiot." I said in my most disinterested tone. Jasper and Edward burst out laughing, while Emmett looked hurt and heartbroken and Rosalie looked furious. Esme and Carlisle were trying not to laugh, but they also had disapproving looks on their faces. Alice soon joined in the hysteria.

"Bella," Carlisle said softly. "Those pills help with your mood swings." He said slowly, as if I were two years old. My temper flared.

"Stop freaking talking to me like I'm two years old! I'm 18! I can handle myself! It's not like I need them." I muttered angrily. I heard a cough that sure sounded like laugh. I snapped my head up to meet Jasper's amused eyes. "Something funny?" I asked through clenched teeth. He chuckled, then, feeling my anger, shook his head. I muttered, "Emo boy with mood swings," under my breathe, and everyone but Jasper burst out laughing. Even Rosalie. I grinned, then stood up.

"I'm tired. I'm going to bed. No sedations while I'm sleeping, or I kill you all tomorrow morning." I said smoothly. I heard seven audible gulps. I smiled, then sauntered upstairs for sleep. It did not come easily.