So, here you are! The companion to 'Best Way To Kill A Sue'. I think there will be one more...
Legolas sighed dreamily. He was so totally in love!
Mary-Sue was perfect, but he was only a handsome prince. There was no way she would ever love him back.
He sighed sadly and walked into the woods. There he met Aragorn!
"Oh Aragorn!" He sighed sadly, "I am in love!"
"Cheer up, mellon nin, it's not so bad."
"You don't understand! I am in love with the most perfectly beautiful girl on earth, but she will never love me back, I can never be good enough."
"Legolas, you're the prince of Mirkwood, and were one of the Nine, besides doing many other great acts of valour. What's so great about this girl that she won't ever love you back?"
Aragorn was sorry he asked. After a half an hour of being bored to tears by a recital of Mary-Sue's perfectness, he finally got fed up and interrupted. "You still haven't said anything about this girl that makes her any better...Wait." He peered closely at Legolas. "What did you say this girl's name was?"
Before Legolas could answer, a shrill voice called, "Leggy!"
The prince of Mirkwood's face was plastered over with sappy love as he exclaimed, "My love!"
Aragorn looked and beheld a truly dreadful sight. A...creature was mincing across the grass.
Before...It could reach Legolas, Aragorn ran towards It, pulling out Anduil as he ran.
With skill born of long practice, he chopped off her head.
Legolas looked across the rapidly disintegrating body at the King of Gondor and said, "All right, decapitation might be better than a bow. You don't waste so many arrows that way."
Aragorn smirked. "I knew you come to see things in a clearer light."
"But you still have a nasty mess to clean off your sword." Legolas pointed out.
Let me know what you thought about it, if any parts were unclear, if I need to change anything, or if you liked it and have nothing else to say. I welcome it all!