This is the last chapter of Beginnings. From now on i will be concentrating solely on Old Lady. This chapter takes place a while after the last one and a few weeks before the start of Old Lady and season one. Hope you enjoy!

as always, i dont own the characters from SOA. They belong to Kurt Sutter and the studio.

"You look like a fucking mess, brother."

I felt the slap on the shoulder but barely registered the voice as I downed another shot. It would be my fifth in less than twenty minutes and the glares I was receiving from my ex girlfriend were getting more and more impressive with every passing minute. Jax's face appeared in my line of sight and I groaned, gearing myself up for another lecture about how this wasn't the way to 'go about things'.

I'd been hearing the same shit since she dropped my ass three weeks ago. It came completely out of the blue. One minute she was completely psyched to be my old lady, ready to get the tat and make it official and the next she was telling me it wouldn't work out and we were stupid to think it would. A crow was too permanent a mark to have on her body for a relationship that would be over as soon as I nailed someone else.

Can't say I appreciate the fact that she thinks I'll cheat on her. Especially since I never have. My right hand and Mika's voice are all I need when I'm on a run. I'd try to tell her this but she always got a disbelieving look on her face and I'd sigh and give up, preferring to convince her in other ways.

I don't know who talked her out of being with me but if I could find them I'd put a bullet through their goddamn heads.

I'd been walking around in a drunken haze since then, ignoring the guys except for when it came to club business and I could tell they were getting pissed off. I'm not quite as stupid and ignorant as they seem to think. I just didn't care.

I was ignoring the crow eaters as well. I wasn't big headed or anything but I saw the happiness and satisfaction in their faces and heard it in their voices as they promised me blow jobs and threesomes and anal… whatever I wanted.

The only thing I wanted was behind the counter, studying her nails and pointedly ignoring me.

That's what hurt the most, I figured. She wouldn't even talk to me; wouldn't let me try to fix it. I'd been calling and trying to get her to let me into the house. I'd tried cornering her in the bar and following her to the café but she just kept turning me away.

"Let's go. Queen wants to see you in her office."

I was watching her so I saw when her head shot up and she shot the office door a dirty, suspicious look.

Jax's hand made contact with the back of my head this time and I scowled but followed him.

Gemma was sitting in the chair, fiddling with her glasses as she looked down at something in her hand. Jax shoved me into the office, slamming the door behind him and leaving me with the scariest woman in the fucking world.

"I got a text from Billie. Mika's got a date tomorrow night."

I choked on my own breath and Gemma shot me a withering look. I felt the alcohol I had been drinking suddenly swirling in my stomach and I wanted to hurl.

I hadn't expected her to move on… not really. Deep down, I'd assumed she'd come back to me. She'd come to her senses and call me and I'd come over and we'd fuck in every room of her house. It was the dream I had at night, the only thing keeping me sane.

And now she had a date.

"What are we going to do about this?"

I glanced up at Gemma in surprise but her look was blank as she stared back.

"I'm not letting my daughter go out with a god damn plumber." She finally told me. "Especially not Martha Kentworth's son. She's a bitch and her husband's a jackass so that's two strikes against this… Gavin guy already."

I tried to picture him but came up blank. Names and faces weren't really my thing.

"You need to sober up. Have a shower, get something to eat and then come talk to me." She told me, putting her glasses back on. "We'll get this mess sorted out."

In the end, the plan was simple. I had come up with it myself, under the hawk eyed stare of Gemma.

Gavin Kentworth was a local plumber. Blonde, clean cut and about half a foot shorter than me, he walked around town whistling and helping old ladies cross the road. He went fishing with his dad twice a month and took his mom to Lodi once a week so she could have a manicure and a facial. He didn't earn much as a plumber but, according to his bank details, he saved most of what he did make in a high interest account. He had no police record, not even a speeding ticket. According to his Myspace page, he was just out of a long term relationship and looking for some fun. I'd hacked into his ex's account too, just to see. Mika was a huge step up.

Their date was planned for tonight. Mika told Billie, who told Luanne, who told Gemma who told me that he was taking her to an Italian restaurant in Lodi. I'd 'borrowed' Mika's phone while she was working yesterday and checked the messages he'd been sending her. They were meeting at Mika's in a few minutes.

Or rather, I'd be meeting Gavin at Mika's in a few minutes. Gemma and Billie had conspired to keep Mika behind at the café for awhile to give me the time I needed.

I was sitting on the porch, waiting on the dick to arrive. He was already five minutes late, yet another nail in his coffin.

He finally pulled into the driveway, stopping the car and climbing out. I watched as he ran his fingers through his hair and reached in to grab a bouquet from the passenger seat before making his way towards the steps.

He froze when he saw me and I smiled at him. Coldly.

"Uh hi. I'm here to pick up Mika."

"No you're not."

"Look, dude…"

"Don't call me dude, asshole." I stayed sitting, staring up at him. I took a draw of my cigarette and blew the smoke in his direction. "This is how it's gonna go down. You're gonna take Mika out tonight."

"That was the plan." He smiled at me, relief in his eyes.

"You're gonna buy her dinner, then take her home and drop her off. Then you're gonna tell her that this was a one night deal. You're gonna tell her you're not good enough for her. Tell her it won't work out because you're too much of a pussy to deal with a woman like her. You wouldn't be able to keep up with her…"

"Look, dude. I'm not going to say anything like that to her. Mika and I-"

"There is no Mika and you. There is never going to be. You do what I told you or…"

"Or what?" He looked aggressive now, stepping towards me. I stood then, looking down at him from the added height of the steps and he stepped back slightly before realising what he was doing and stopping, trying to save face.

"Or I'm gonna put a bullet hole in every one of your goddamn limbs. If you don't bleed out from that, I'm gonna shoot you through the neck. If you touch her, even think about touching one inch of that skin, I'll gut you. I'll send pieces of you back to your pop and he can use them for bait the next time he goes fishing. I will rip off your fucking fingers and post them to your mom. To your grandma. To your uncle Jackie and Aunt Maureen in Santa Cruz. The rest of you I'll throw in a fucking ditch and set alight. You getting what I'm saying here, white boy?"

He looked nervous now. His eyes tried to stay on mine but I could see them glancing down; at the cut, at the rings on my fingers and the tattoos that ran up my arms and across my scalp. Then I moved slightly and they came to rest on the knife at my hip.

"I could report you to the cops." He pointed out. There was a tremor in his voice that made me grin.

"You could." I accepted easily. "But you won't. There is no winning for you in this. You get me picked up by the cops, whose to say someone else won't come after you? You think any of Mika's family want to see her with you?" I chuckled. "Better still, how pissed do you think my girl would be if you got her old man arrested? You think she'd let you fuck her then? You think she'd drop by and say, hey thanks so much Gav, here let me suck you off?"

"No- no I don't." He admitted. "But then, I'm pretty sure Mika doesn't know that you're here, threatening me. She told me you guys were over."

"We're never going to be over." I told him. "So get any idea you have of being with my old lady out of your fucking mind, got it? Now," I fingered the hilt of the knife. "Say it all back to me. Word for fucking word."

"Who. The. Hell. Do. You. Think. You. Are?"

Each word was punctuated with a sharp jab to the shoulder that I accepted with an easy smile.

"I think I'm-"

"It's rhetorical, asshole." She snarled. She was so fucking gorgeous when she was angry. Her eyes flashed and her hair swung around her shoulders as she moved jerkily. Her cheeks would flush and it would spread across her chest and I always, always wanted to follow it with my tongue, to see where it led.

The club house was empty apart from me, Sack and Chibs and a few crow eaters. Both were watching with amusement as Mika yelled, threatened and physically abused me.

Not that I minded. I'd take all the physical contact I could get with her.

"Juice, this isn't funny. I told you we were done. You cannot harass and threaten every guy I go on a date with." She yelled.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I told her innocently. She glared at me until I smirked and shrugged.

"Hey, it was a test. He failed. What can I do?"

"A test? You're so full of shit."

"I just wanted to look out for you… see if this guy was made of strong enough stuff. Turns out, he's not. He's a coward who almost pissed his pants at the sight of a knife."

"You threatened to gut him and mail pieces to his parents!" She threw her hands up in exasperation as I scowled. He wasn't supposed to share that part with her. Maybe we'd need another talk.

"Nice one, Juicey boy." Chibs laughed. Mika groaned loudly and grabbed my arm, tugging me towards her.

"Hey!" The sweetbutt whose name I had forgotten protested. I'd had her on my lap when Mika stormed in and pushed her off. The possessiveness had made me grin and make a mental note to buy Gemma flowers every day for the rest of my life. She was never wrong.

"Listen, sweetheart, why don't you go play with yourself in front of someone who actually wants to see it." Mika bit at her and my grin widened. That was definitely jealousy in her voice and I wasn't above using it to get my own way.

"Fuck you, whore." The sweetbutt snapped back. I drew a breath in to tell her to back off but Mika beat me to it, punching her in the face.

"You're gonna have to find your bikers somewhere else, bitch." Mika hissed at her, before pulling me in the direction of the dorms.

Once inside mine, she turned to face me.

"You can't do this to me, Juice. All I wanted was a normal night out with a normal-"

"Tell me what happened." I interrupted her. "You were so happy about me wanting you to get the crow. Jesus, Mika, you went down on me in the middle of a fucking park so don't try to tell me you didn't want it."

"It was not the middle of a park, it was in the fucking woods." She retorted. "And I told you, I realised that it wasn't a good idea. What happens when we break up, huh? You get bimbo out there and dozens of other women ready to let you do whatever the fuck you want to do to them… You know what I get? A life alone, because no guy in this fucking town will touch me. Is that what you want? For me to be alone?"

"You won't be alone because we aren't going to break up…" I told her. I took a step towards her, frowning when she backed up.

"Don't even attempt it." She warned me. I smirked and grabbed her, pressing her against the wall. "I'm not sleeping with you, Juice."

"That's fine." I murmured, dropping a kiss on her shoulder. She wriggled against me, trying to escape, and I tightened my hold. "Why won't you trust me, baby? You know I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Juice, don't… this won't change anything. I don't want to be branded. I don't want to be an old lady." Her voice was breathless and light as I sucked on her neck and it made me grin.

"I would do anything for you." I told her, pulling back to look her in the eye. "I'd kill for you and I'd take a bullet for you. You know I would, baby."

"Juice, please… just stop." She closed her eyes briefly before opening them again and allowing a tear to escape. I wiped it with the pad of my thumb before lifting her.

She didn't fight, just wrapped her legs around my waist and allowed me to carry her to my unmade bed.

It wasn't perfect. In fact, it was an absolute mess. It was not somewhere I wanted to try and seduce her but it would have to do.

"Please, baby." I murmured in her ear. I stroked the soft skin of her hip, pushing her silky shirt up to reach it. Her hips moved restlessly against my fingers as I stroked, over and over again.

"Juice, stop." She whimpered. "Please."

"Stop stroking, or stop altogether?" I tugged her jeans off and she lifted her legs to allow me. She was saying stop for the sake of it, not because she meant it. "Have you been as lonely as me, baby? Have you spent every night touching yourself, imagining its me? Not the same, though, is it. My hand in the shower is never gonna compare to how hot you are. How wet. How tight you grip me when you come. I miss the bites, the scratches. I haven't tasted you in three whole fucking weeks baby, and that's just not right."

She was grinding against my hand, eyes shut and mouth moving silently. I moved down her body, pushing her legs so that the were over my shoulders.

"Gonna taste you now, baby. Gonna make you come so hard you're not gonna think about anyone but me."

I grabbed her hand, making her look at me with hazy, lust filled eyes.

"Mine, Mika. All mine."