Author's note: Now, I really don't know where this came from. It popped up in my head one day and my muse wouldn't leave me alone until I had written it. (My muse scares me at times)
Warnings: some angst; use of potions and memory charms; dub/noncon (as Harry is under influence); implied lemon (for full version, please visit my profile, where you'll find more information); overall dark story; some foul language
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter - J.K. Rowling owns it
The blond student looked thoughtfully at the vial in his hand. Should he really continue with this? His mind screamed 'Hell fucking no! Are you a lunatic?' and his heart screamed 'Hell yes! This is what you have been waiting for. Why stop now?'.
Naturally he chose to follow his heart in this situation.
Draco Malfoy was standing in the Room of Requirements that was currently used as a laboratory for his potion. He had combined an aphrodisiac with a modified memory spell. If someone swallowed this potion, he would want to have sex with the first person he saw and afterwards, he would forget he ever had sex and his memories were slightly modified. It was the perfect potion for someone in Draco's situation. He would get the one he desired for one night and nobody would ever know about it. Sadly, the person he wanted would forget all about the sex, but he supposed it was for the best.
Draco was now in his seventh year of Hogwarts and to everyone's surprise, he could call himself Harry Potter's best friend for almost two years now.
Harry had managed to vanquish Voldemort in their fifth year, but he had paid a high price for it. He had lost Hermione, Tonks and Sirius when they came to help him. Hermione had been killed by one of the Death Eaters. The same went for Tonks. Sirius had been struck with a curse from Bellatrix, which had caused him to fly right into the Veil, to the afterlife. Remus had been just quickly enough to hold Harry back, otherwise Harry had followed his godfather into the Veil.
Harry had been devastated after the fight. Sure Voldemort was now dead and most Death Eaters had been put in prison again, but that didn't change the fact that he had lost some of his best friends and his godfather. It also didn't help that Ron had accused Harry of being the cause of Hermione's and Tonks' deaths. The atmosphere in the Gryffindor common room and dorms had turned icy. Most Gryffindors were at Harry's side and knew he wasn't the cause of the deaths, but there were some students who rather believed Ron's version and had caused many problems for Harry. Eventually they had even caused him severe harm.
It was then decided to place Harry in his own room, away from Gryffindor. His room was behind the painting of a kitten, on the third floor. The kitten looked innocent, but when he saw someone approaching the rooms behind his painting, who had ill intentions towards Harry, the kitten managed to somehow cause harm to those people.
Needless to say, there weren't many people who visited Harry in his rooms. The only visitors were occasionally Dumbledore and Remus visited him every week. Still, Harry couldn't be cheered up. He missed his friends and his godfather. It also didn't help that Ron had turned his back on him; Harry rarely saw the other Weasleys.
That's where Draco came in. With Voldemort gone and his father in prison, he didn't have to be afraid anymore and took the decision to make Harry his friend. He went to his mother for help. Narcissa was only too happy to help her only child and found a useful book in the extended Malfoy library.
So, a few months after the beginning of their sixth year, Draco managed to get Harry to talk with him. It had been difficult, because Harry had initially refused to speak with him, but his persistency had won over Harry's stubbornness and Draco could finally make Harry an offer he couldn't refuse.
In the book he had received from his mother, he had found a very useful spell. It was very old – probably from the early Middle Ages – and was connected with the Veil in the Ministry. The spell would bring back one person from the afterlife without any damage to said person. Seeing as the Veil was a portal to the afterlife, Harry could have easily brought back one of his friends, one of his parents or … Sirius.
Draco had presented this spell to Harry and explained how it worked. Harry had asked him – quite rightly – why Draco would help him. Draco had simply answered that he wanted to be Harry's friend and that he wanted to help him with his grief.
Draco had seen the battle Harry had fought inwardly. He desperately wanted someone he loved back, but was this the right way?
Draco had assured him that it wasn't Dark magic and the desire in Harry's eyes had grown tenfold. He was disappointed that the spell only brought one person back (he had really wanted to get to know his parents after all), but eventually he decided on one person. Harry had hesitated between Hermione and Sirius, but he had made his choice.
So, one night, in November, Harry had gone to the Ministry together with Narcissa; the spell required two people and Harry hadn't wanted to burden Draco nor Remus. If the spell didn't work, Remus wouldn't be devastated, because he hadn't known about it. Yes, Harry had chosen for Sirius. How much he loved Hermione, Sirius had been his godfather and a link to his parents. He was family. Besides, Harry thought Remus deserved to have at least one of his friends back. When midnight came, both Harry and Narcissa used the spell and waited with baited breath to see if it had worked.
Just when Harry had wanted to give up and go back to Hogwarts, the Veil glowed and someone fell through it, landing before Harry and Narcissa. The person had half long black hair and was pale. Harry had turned the person on his back and had cried from happiness when he saw that Sirius was back. Narcissa had helped him with moving Sirius to Hogwarts and alerting Madam Pomfrey. After a week in the hospital, Sirius finally woke up. And just like the spell promised, there wasn't any damage done to Sirius. Harry had told Remus the happy news and at first he had been scolded, because he had disappeared from Hogwarts without alerting someone, but then had been hugged almost to death. Yes, Harry knew he had made the right decision to choose Sirius when he saw how happy Remus was.
Draco had heard from his mother that the spell had worked and had waited patiently for Harry to speak with him. It had been all up to Harry to decide if he wanted to give Draco a chance.
A month later, Harry had approached him and thanked him for giving him Sirius back. Since then, the two boys had begun a tentative friendship, which later blossomed into a strong friendship. From that moment on, Draco and Harry were nearly inseparable.
In the middle of their sixth year, Draco had discovered that he felt more for Harry than just friendship. His crush had grown to being deeply in love. But he didn't have the nerve to tell Harry about his feelings, scared that Harry would reject him and wouldn't want to be friends with him anymore. So he kept quiet, even if it hurt him every time he saw Harry.
But he had grown tired of keeping his feelings a secret. If he couldn't have Harry, then he wanted at least one night to enjoy what he never could have. It had taken some time to develop the potion, but now it was ready.
Harry had invited him to spend the night in his room to enjoy themselves. They did that often and it happened that Draco stayed to sleep there, so nobody would find it strange if he didn't return to his dorms.
Draco glanced at the clock, saw that it was nearly time and hastily changed into a jeans (Harry had given him a few, complaining that he was sick of seeing Draco always in robes) and a buttoned up shirt. He slipped the vial in his pocket and made his way to Harry's rooms on the third floor.
He halted for the portrait. "Marauders for life." He rolled his eyes at the mention of the password. It was something Sirius had come up with and Harry had kept that password.
The portrait swung open and Draco stepped into the little cozy living room. The fire in the fireplace crackled and made the room comfortable warm.
Harry's head appeared from behind the corner. He smiled. "Hey, Draco. I'm glad you came. Take a seat; I'm nearly done with the chocolate milk."
Draco nodded and seated himself in the large couch, wondering how he would get the potion in Harry's drink. It turned out that he didn't have to worry about that.
Harry had just placed the mugs on the coffee table, when he cursed. "Shit, I nearly forgot to take the cookies out of the oven. Be right back," he said and disappeared in the kitchen again.
Hastily, Draco emptied his vial in Harry's mug and stirred in it, to mix the potion with the milk. When Harry came back, Draco was calmly sipping his own chocolate milk.
They began talking about their lessons and Quidditch. All the while Draco was impatiently waiting for the potion to take effect.
Meanwhile, Harry was beginning to feel a little hot and he wondered if he had to put out the fire. His mug was empty by now and he began to fidget slightly. A strange feeling was rising up in his stomach and he continued to shift around. His mind started to feel cloudy and he couldn't think straight. What was wrong with him? Harry made a few buttons loose on his shirt, in hopes of cooling off, but that didn't work. If anything, it made him feel hotter and he began to pant slightly.
Draco had noticed how Harry fidgeted and he hid a smile. The potion was taking effect.
"Harry, is there something wrong?" Draco asked concerned and he laid a hand on Harry's shoulder.
The reaction was immediately. Harry looked up at him and threw himself in Draco's lap, pressing his hips against the other one's hips.
"Harry, what are you doing?" Draco acted surprised, but was getting excited. Finally, he could act on his feelings. Even if it was only for tonight.
"Draco, I'm hot. You have to cool me off, please?" Harry asked and pressed Draco's hands on his hips.
"Maybe you should take a shower," Draco suggested, but his hands gripped Harry's hips tighter.
Harry shook his head. "No, no, you have to help me." He pushed his hot forehead in Draco's cool neck and moaned at the contact.
"What do you want me to do?" Draco whispered and his hands wandered to Harry's arse, squeezing softly, electing a moan from the boy sitting on him.
"Anything. Anything," Harry murmured and he licked Draco's neck, slowly rocking back and forth on Draco's lap.
"You're sure you want me to do anything, Harry?" Draco purred and he pushed Harry closer to his body.
Harry nodded feverishly. "Yes, yes, anything."
"Very well." In one quick movement, Draco pushed Harry on his back on the couch with him lying between Harry's spread legs. With trembling fingers Draco opened the buttons on Harry's shirt and threw the shirt on the floor. He stared at the tanned chest and licked his lips.
"You're so beautiful, Harry," he whispered and let his hands dance over Harry's chest.
Hastily, Harry ripped Draco's shirt off and let it fall to the ground; his hands roaming over the pale chest.
Draco shivered at the feeling of Harry's hands on his skin and shifted slightly.
"Draco, kiss me," Harry pleaded and tugged on Draco's neck.
Draco complied and bent down to press his lips against Harry's. He moaned when his mouth finally made contact with Harry's and savoured the feeling of the other one's lips on him. He moved slowly, printing the taste of Harry in his memory, before licking Harry's lower lip, asking for entrance. Harry sighed contentedly and opened his mouth, letting the blond boy on him explore. Their tongues met and danced around each other, electing more moans from the two boys. Draco sucked on Harry's tongue and his hand snuck between their bodies, gripping Harry between his legs. Harry, who had his hands buried in Draco's hair, gasped and his hips snapped forward, seeking more contact.
"Ah, more, Draco. More," Harry moaned and his cheeks had a rose color to it, his eyes smoldering with burning desire.
Draco's lips trailed to his cheek and continued their way down to Harry's neck.
"Hnngh, Draco. Pants – pants off," Harry panted and his hands tugged on Draco's jeans.
"You're sure, Harry?" Draco teased and sat up.
"Ye –yes, I'm sure. I want to see you," Harry said breathlessly and he stared with half lidded eyes at Draco.
Draco gulped, but buttoned his pants open and tugged the zipper down. Slowly, he pulled his pants down and had to stand to pull them off completely. Harry sat up and admired Draco's body, licking his lips when his eyes caught sight of Draco's boxer shorts.
"It seems I'm not the only one with a big problem, hm, Draco?" Harry breathed and pushed Draco down on the couch. "Let me help you with that," he whispered seductively and kneeled down between Draco's legs, tugging Draco's boxer short down.
Draco's silver eyes widened when he finally understood what Harry was planning. "You don't have to do it," he said softly. Even with the potion in his system, Draco didn't want to force Harry in doing something he didn't want. But he supposed that argument was weak, because the potion was specifically made to make Harry crazy with lust. Still…
Harry looked up coyly from beneath his lashes. "I want to do this."
Draco gasped when he felt a hot, wet mouth closing around him and his hands grabbed the pillow beside him. Head falling backwards, he opened his eyes and looked down; he groaned when he saw Harry's head moving up and down.
"Fuck, Harry," he moaned and somehow his hand found his way in Harry's black hair and tugged on it softly.
Harry moaned and that sound made Draco crazy. With a huge effort, Draco managed to push Harry away, even if his body protested.
Harry looked up confused. "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, no, on the contrary. You were too good," Draco panted. "I want to fuck you and hear you screaming my name."
Harry shivered when the husky voice told him that and it never came up in his mind that he could refuse. The only thing he wanted now, was to get taken by Draco. He stood up and impatiently opened his pants before kicking them off.
"What are you waiting for?" Harry asked seductively.
Draco smirked and swept Harry up in his arms. "I think it's best if we take this to the bedroom."
Harry sneaked his arms around Draco's neck. "You can take me wherever you want, whenever you want," he whispered and sucked on the pulse point in Draco's neck.
Draco moaned at hearing that and speeded towards Harry's bedroom. He closed the door with his foot and dropped Harry on the bed before climbing in too. Harry scooted backwards and beckoned Draco to him.
"You have no idea how much I want you now," Draco breathed and leaned over Harry.
Harry pulled him closer. "Then show me."
Draco kissed him again, but before the kiss could go any deeper, he shifted downwards and took one of Harry's nipples in his mouth; licking, sucking and biting on it until it was hard. Then he switched to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment.
Harry moaned and his hands roamed over Draco's body; stroking it and feeling how soft it felt.
For a while, they did nothing else than kiss and touch and feel. At one point Harry's underwear had disappeared too and they were both naked now, enjoying feeling the other one's skin on their own.
Eventually Draco stopped kissing Harry and leaned on his arm. Harry's lips were swollen and very red and he panted; his eyes smoldered and his body was slick with sweat.
For one fleeting moment, Draco wondered if he should stop this. He wondered if this was worth the pain he would feel tomorrow when Harry wouldn't remember anything. He wondered if he could deal with the guilt he would no doubt feel of taking advantage of Harry. But when he looked at the sinful, beautiful image that was Harry, he decided it didn't matter what he would feel tomorrow. Not when he had Harry lying next to him, practically begging to be fucked.
"I'm going to prepare you now, Harry," Draco warned him.
Harry nodded and spread his legs.
Because neither Harry nor Draco had lubrication, Draco would have to do it with his spit. He spit on his hand and mumbled a numbing charm before he slowly started preparing the boy underneath him. The numbing spell would make sure Harry didn't feel any pain tonight or tomorrow, so Draco's secret wouldn't come out.
Harry hissed at the alien feeling of something invading his body. It didn't hurt, but it felt strange. He wiggled a bit and Draco waited patiently for Harry to relax. When that had happened, he started preparing him more thoroughly.
Harry panted and tried to get used to the alien feeling of preparation. He gasped and shot up right for a moment before falling down again, when something inside of him was suddenly touched.
"Do that again," Harry ordered.
"What? This?" Draco asked. It turned out to be Harry's sweet spot and Harry moaned, his eyes closing.
Eventually, Draco deemed Harry to be ready enough and he pulled back. Harry opened his eyes, whining at the sudden loss.
Draco spit on his hand again and quickly prepared himself. He positioned himself between Harry's legs and tried to distract Harry by kissing him when he slowly and carefully moved forwards. He had to wait several times, because Harry kept clenching his muscles. Eventually Draco was finally completely joined with Harry. Draco breathed hard and he had to stop himself from moving.
"Are you okay?" Draco whispered in his ear and stroked his side lovingly.
Harry nodded, breathing shallowy. "Yes, please move."
Draco slowly pulled back before settling on a slow pace. At one point he managed to locate Harry's sweet spot and Harry moaned loudly, bringing Draco's body closer to his, tightening his legs around Draco's waist.
Vaguely, a voice in Draco's mind warned him that Harry felt exceptionally slick with only the use of spit, but he ignored that voice. He knew Harry enjoyed this, if he had to go by all the moans, sighs and groans the boy produced.
"Ah, go faster, Draco. Please, I want it faster. And harder. Hnngh," Harry panted and hungrily pushed his mouth against Draco's, initiating a passionate kiss.
Draco, encouraged by Harry, sped up.
"Hm, like that, yes; touch me, please, Draco," Harry begged.
Draco's hand sneaked between their sweated bodies and it didn't take long after that before both boys fell over the edge; Harry screaming out Draco's name and Draco nearly sobbing with the force of the heat spreading through his entire body.
The two boys laid there, panting for a while, trying to catch their breath. Their bodies cooled off and their sweat dried. Draco carefully pulled away and laid beside him, pulling the boy in his arms.
Harry sighed contently and snuggled closer to Draco's body, feeling tired. He was already fast asleep when Draco muttered, "I love you so much, Harry. I hope you can forgive me."
Draco sighed and stroked through Harry's hair. He would have to get up, clean them and change both in some pyjamas to prevent Harry from suspecting something happened this night. But for now he just wanted to hold Harry in his arms and pretend that Harry loved him too.
His eyes roamed over Harry's body and he froze when he noticed the red stain on Harry's sheets. It looked like blood. He swallowed with difficulty and inspected them both. He saw Harry bleeding a bit; some droplets of blood were sliding down his thighs. A shock run through Draco's body when he realized what this meant. Harry had been a virgin. He had just taken Harry's virginity and Harry wouldn't even remember his first time. Draco felt horrible. He had assumed all along that Harry wasn't a virgin anymore. Not that he thought of Harry as some slut, but he had thought Harry would have had some experience by now. It certainly had looked like he had some experience with how he had reacted to everything Draco had done with him tonight.
Oh, this was just fucking great. It was hard enough he had to live with the fact that he had taken advantage of Harry by using the potion, but now he had to live with the fact that he had taking Harry's virginity too. He supposed this was Merlin's way of punishing him for taking advantage of his friend.
He felt guilty, but pushed the feeling away. He reasoned with himself that it was best that Harry had lost his virginity to his friend; to someone he trusted and loved. This way he wouldn't get hurt by others.
It hurt Draco, of course, that Harry wouldn't remember a thing that had happened tonight, but he soothed himself with the knowledge that he had been Harry's first, even if Harry didn't realize it.
He slipped out of the bed and cleaned their bodies and sheets. He managed to put some pyjamas on Harry and when he was changed in some pyjamas too, he climbed back into the bed, pulling Harry into his arms. Harry wouldn't get suspicious when he would see Draco lying in his bed tomorrow, because this had happened before.
Draco sighed and snuggled closer to Harry, loving the way Harry fit in his arms and his lovingly smell.
His last thought before he fell asleep, was that he would love to do this again.
AN2: So how was it? (The part where Harry bleeds a bit refers to the fact that Draco was slightly rough, in case it was confusing)
This story has now a sequel called The truth always surfaces.
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