Disclaimer: I am WAY too poor to be the owner of Naruto or Scarbble. I do own a carrot but not the one from this story because I am afraid of what it was used for…bad Guy!
It was a beautiful sunny day in the Hidden Leaf Village. A day when everyone would be relaxing everyone that was except for Naruto. He had a question that he needed answers to! It was his mission to find someone to tell him. So he went to the one person he always knew he could talk to Iruka Sensei. He couldn't believe his luck when he found him standing outside of the Ichiraku Ramen Bar.
"Hey Iruka Sensei!" Naruto called out with a smile Iruka looked over & waved back.
"Why hello Naruto what are you up to today?"
"I was actually looking for you I have some questions." Naruto said.
"Well you know that's what I'm here for. Why don't we grab some ramen & talk for a bit." Iruka said motioning to the restaurant behind him.
"Sure!" Naruto said excitedly as he ran inside ordering his ramen.
They both sat & ate quietly for a while before Iruka decided to figure out what was the problem with the young boy.
"So Naruto what was it you were going to ask me anyways?" He said taking another bite.
"Oh yeah that! Iruka Sensei?" He asked.
"Hmmm?" He said mouth still full of food.
"I was just wondering where do babies come from?" Naruto asked the second he asked that Iruka started choking on his noodles.
"What babies?" He said coughing still.
"Yeah I mean where do they come from?" Naruto asked.
"They are……well…..ummm…" Iruka said turning a dark shade of red. "Umm are you sure you should be asking me that Naruto?"
"Well you said I could ask you anything so I figured you must know!" Naruto said.
"Yeah well when a man & a woman love each other…..uhhh…." He said trying to figure out what to say.
"When they really love each other what?" Naruto encouraged.
"Well…..Oh no! I forgot I had something to do." Iruka said before jumping off his chair & running out the door.
"That's weird….hey free ramen!" Naruto said pulling Iruka's bowl to him.
Coming out of Ichiraku Ramen with a very full belly Naruto figured he might need to go find someone else that's more informed onto where babies come. There had to be more to it then a man & a woman falling in love he thought as he walked down the street. That's when he ran into Anko as she waited in line for dumplings.
"Man can you believe this line?" She complained as Naruto walked over.
"You sure like dumplings huh?" He asked she smiled.
"You have no idea."
"Hey Anko Sensei can I ask you a question?"
"Depends on what you ask." She said impatiently tapping her foot looking at the line.
"I just want to know where do babies come from?" He asked.
"Don't waste my time Naruto!" She said smacking him upside the head. He ducked & ran as far away as he could.
She could be very scary when she wanted to it might not of been the best idea to try & ask her in the first place. He needed to find someone that was nicer someone like Kurenai Sensei she might tell him the answer at the very least she wouldn't hit him.
"Kurenai Sensei!" He called at seeing her walk down the street she turned around with a smile.
"Why hello Naruto. Beautiful day isn't it?" She said looking up at the blue sky.
"Yeah I guess. Hey can I ask you a question?" Naruto said impatiently.
"Why of course you can."
"Good! Where do babies come from?" He asked she looked at him.
"Naruto I'm not sure I'm the person you should be asking." She said gently.
"What you don't know either!" He exclaimed she let out a small laugh.
"No I know where they come from it's just….I think this is a topic you should be taking up with another guy." She said looking around desperately to find someone to pawn this question off on. "Like Asuma there!"
"Hey there Kurenai, Naruto." He said walking over to them both.
"Good we were just talking about you! Naruto has some questions that are best answered by another man & you are the man for that job." She said patting Asuma on the back before walking off quickly.
"Uhhh ok. So what's the problem Naruto embrassing erections, bad body order, hair in new spots, interesting dreams?" Asuma asked looking at Naruto.
"No none of that…..I just want to know where do babies come from?" Naruto asked Asuma looked at him in disbelief.
"You really don't know where babies come from?" Asuma said Naruto just shook his head no. "Damn it Kurenai!" Asuma turned around running to find her. "Try asking Kakashi!" He called over his shoulder.
That was a great idea Naruto was wondering why he didn't think of it in the first place. He ran all around that town looking for Kakashi till finally an hour later he found him reading his book as always.
"Kakashi Sensei Kakashi Sensei!" Naruto yelled out running over almost out of breath.
"Naruto what is it? What is that important you are running around yelling for me." He said looking up from his book.
"I have a question & no one else wants to answer it!" Naruto said catching his breath.
"Well I am sure I can help you. What's the question?" Kakashi said putting his book into his back pocket.
"Where do babies come from?" Naruto said Kakashi stared at him dumb founded.
"Isn't that something your-" Kakashi cut himself off before finishing the sentence realizing that he in fact couldn't ask his parents. Now feeling guilty he knew had to answer the young boys question.
"Well where do they come from!" Naruto said feeling really annoyed.
"Well Naruto what you first need to know is the difference in anatomy of a boy & a girl." Kakashi said rushing every word. "Boys have a penis & girls well……a girl has…"
"What dose a girl have?" Naruto said impatiently.
"I can't do this!" Kakashi said disappearing.
"Oh come on!" Naruto said angrily storming off down the street.
As he turned the corner he saw none of then the famous Might Guy practicing some exercise in the middle of the street. People were walking around him shaking their heads.
"Why hello there Naruto! Come to exercise the flame of youth today?" He said jumping up from his push up position.
"Hi Super Brushy Brow Sensei." Naruto said glumly.
"Why what is wrong Naruto?" Guy asked.
"It's nothing it's just I have this question & no one wants to answer it. I've been trying all day & it's really getting annoying." Naruto shrugged.
"I'll tell you what ask me the question & I will answer it no problem."
"Really!" Naruto said excitedly.
"Of course I don't back down on a promise!" Guy said doing his 'Nice Guy' poses in the process.
"Ok all I really want to know is where do babies come from?" Naruto asked Guy put a hand on his shoulder.
"Awww yes the circle of life! Why that's an easy one! When a guy likes a girl-" Guy started.
~5 hours later~
"And then when they are finally ready the stroke drops the baby off!" Guy finished.
"Umm are you sure Super Bushy Brow? That seems a little far fetched." Naruto said scratching his head still trying to figure out where the Scrabble came in & what a carrot had to do with anything.
"This is exactly what my father told me & I am now telling you! So you know you can trust it!"
"Well uhhh thanks then." Naruto said backing away.
"Your welcome & remember curiosity is the flame of youth!" Guy said striking the 'Nice Guy' poses again for the 6th time that day.
Naruto sighed he knew that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard in his life. No way in the world could every person who ever had a baby owns a llama fur rug. Now he needed an expert opinion on where babies came from & that expert was none other then-
"PERVY SAGE!" Naruto yelled up to the one of the roofs where Jiraiya was standing with a telescope. When he didn't get answer Naruto climb up there to see what was up.
"Hey Pervy Sage whatcha doing?" Naruto said looking over his shoulder.
"This spot has a perfect view of the women's gym….NARUTO!" Jiraiya said slamming his telescope shut. "I mean I was just up here thinking of my next story that's all."
"Oh…..hey can I ask you a question?"
"Sure I suppose so."
"Good I figured you'd be the expert on this topic. Where do babies come from?"
"Well it depends are any of them mine?" He joked & laughed Naruto looked at him unamused.
"I'm serious." Naruto said.
"Ok well from my experience babies come from when your not careful. I mean hell a few bucks & a couple of drinks. Man you never know what's going to happen some nights! Next the thing you 9 months later they are claiming you're the dad. Ha! I know better then to fall for that trap. Naruto don't ever let a woman tell you it's yours! Especially if it's a totally different skin color then your own. All they want to do is trap you for your money. Now get lost the women's yoga's going to start & no way am I going to miss this!" Jiraiya said pushing away Naruto.
"Well that doesn't answer anything!" He said hopping down off the roof it was getting late & he had some friends to meet.
He hurried over climbing the stairs to Shikamaru's favorite spot. He was there as expected lying on his back looking at clouds while Kiba & Choji were having a discussion. All of them stopped seeing Naruto walk over.
"What a day." He said walking over & falling backwards on the bench with his hands behind his head.
"So how'd it go?" Kiba asked excitedly.
"Well I asked everyone on the list. Not one mention of the word sex." Naruto said.
"What a drag." Shikamaru said digging in his pocket for money handing it to Naruto.
"Or any mention of 'making love'" Naruto said with a smirk.
"Aww man." Choji said digging in his pocket as well.
"And obviously no one used the word fucking." Naruto said as they all looked at Kiba.
"You really didn't think anyone would say that as answer did you?" Shikamaru said.
"Hey between Asuma & Jiraiya it should have been used!" Kiba pouted pulling his money out.
"Haha suckers." Naruto said grabbing the money he stopped hearing someone walking up.
"Hello boys!" Tsunade said brightly.
"Grandma Tsunade what are you doing here?" Naruto asked confused.
"Well I heard that you've been going around asking questions about the reproduction process." She said sitting down.
"No Grandma it was a joke I swear! I know where babies come from!" Naruto said panicking.
"Now now Naruto don't be embarrassed! I want you to know the medical side of babies & sexual health." She said pulling out a book all the guys stood up. "No you all stay too! I want to make sure you're all well aware of yourself & your sexuality. So come sit we are going to discuss this from learning about your own anatomy to what happens to a woman when she has a baby. But don't worry there are a lot of pictures & if any of the words confuse you I will explain them. Ok chapter 1 your body.
Authors Note: Ok I am gonna take an opportunity here using this waste of space to advertise for my new Naruto Role Playing board called Land of the Ninja. We have TONS of canons still available & are now accepting original characters. Please check it out if you like it show your friends, family, your friend's family, your family's friends, your pets, & that creepy old guy from down the street! Called Land of the Ninjas! Go to my profile to check it out!