Ashley's Farting Problem
Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: You all know Ashley the witch from WarioWare, right The one who managed to get her own song remixed into Super Smash Brothers Brawl first? Well, considering that I took a personal liking to her, and considering that I like WarioWare, I made this. Granted, it's more or less a crossover just so WarioWare can get some good rep, but still, it's mighty fine to take a gander at this here tale. Now, Imma be leaving you folks. I got some Super Sluggers to play. Ciao!
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to their owners. But mostly everything in this story belongs to Nintendo. "That didn't help at all!"
Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died!
"No no no, you got it all wrong!" Angrily barked Waluigi as he pulled the red curtains away, clarifying, "This is the real tale!"
Ashley yawned as she watched everyone in Diamond City getting their decorations ready. Ashley wasn't wearing her regular red dress; she was wearing a nice red-colored tank top and some light yellow jeans, looking a bit more mature than she normally did. Waluigi was there to help Ashley feel better, as everyone was acting a bit crazy in the city.
"Well, I'm pretty sure that nothing will go wrong with me around!" Waluigi assured Ashley as he patted her on the shoulder, smiling as he bent down, "Besides, I'm making sure that my stupid brother doesn't screw anything up."
Ashley sighed as she rolled her eyes. "Look, Waluigi, it was really nice of you to drop by from the Meadow Meadows, but I'm perfectly fine on my own..." She closed her eyes as she farted rather loudly, catching everyone's attention as Ashley shook it off.
Waluigi glanced at everyone, then at Ashley, and then back at everyone, waving his hands as he shook his head. "It's nothing, folks, just go back to your business."
The citizens of Diamond City all gave each other puzzled looks as they resumed their actions, leaving Waluigi and Ashley to continue speaking with each other. Wario, who was snatching up everyone's money under his supervising, started sneaking behind Waluigi as he spotted his partner's wallet in his back right overalls pocket.
"Well Ashley, it's not like you have anything better to do," Waluigi argued as he performed hand motions to look more lively, "I mean, honestly, aside from adventuring and partying, what would you be doing?"
Ashley turned to Waluigi, smirking as she folded her arms. "I'd be at a farting contest, that's what."
Waluigi slapped his forehead as he groaned. "You and the farting... geeze, Ashley, you're worse than Wario." He shook his head in dismay as he placed his right hand on Ashley's shoulder. "I mean, it's great that you're breaking out of the creepy witch stereotype, but seriously, farting? Has Toadette really used some bizarre magic on you?"
Ashley shrugged, farting loudly again as she giggled. "I don't know. Last time I checked, I could never fart to fly around. Now I can!"
Waluigi was about to retort, when he felt his back overalls pocket tugged. He turned around, front kicking Wario in the face as he watched his partner crash into a brick wall, causing it to fall on a nearby wooden two story building, which collapsed on its foundations as a result. Waluigi rolled his eyes as he folded his arms, tucking his wallet deeper in his pocket as he remarked, "Well well well, look who's snooping as usual around here."
Wario growled as he rubbed his head, slapping Waluigi across the face as he pointed at him. "You did not have to beat me up like that, you jerk! How am I going to recover my injuries!"
Waluigi rubbed his right cheek, simply shaking his head as he scoffed. "Pssh, you'll be fine. It's what you deserve for trying to steal my money, you low life."
Wario groaned as he scratched his butt. "Anyway, why are you two simply standing around when you can help me get some money from these losers-" He received some glances from passingby people. "Err, I mean, valuable customers..." He sheepishly laughed as he snorted, spitting on the street. "Yeah, valuable customers, that's about right."
Waluigi was about to say something when Ashley bent down, releasing a loud fart that caused a steel building nearby to collapse on itself, the foundation being weakened. Ashley shrugged it off, as if it didn't happen.
Waluigi groaned as he slapped his forehead. "Come on, Ashley, can't you see me and Wario having a discussing here?"
Wario scoffed as he stuck his tongue at Ashley, taunting her. "Pah! You call that a blast of gas? I can do it much better!" He laughed as he slapped his sexy butt at her.
Ashley rolled her eyes as she patted her butt, letting out another loud poot. "Oh please. I don't even have to eat garlic like you to get large amounts of gas. I just build it up naturally."
Wario started fuming as he grabbed Ashley by her big boobs, growling as his face turned red, steam blowing out of his ears. "WHAT! YOU THINK YOU COULD OUTFART ME!"
Ashley smirked as she released a juicy fart, her jeans being stained by now. "Heh. You couldn't handle my butt even if you placed a candle in it."
Waluigi covered his entire face with both of his hands as he shook his head. "This is completely embarrassing... is my brother and one of my potential girlfriends really going to have a fart contest?"
Silence as everyone stared at Waluigi, Wario, and Ashley.
"Fart contest?" 9-Volt asked as he tilted his head to the right, blinking in confusion. "What's that like?"
Wario grinned as he laughed heartily. "Like this!" He tossed Ashley as he used his infamous Wario Waft, blowing the entire perimeter of Diamond City away, blowing away the citizens along with the buildings. Waluigi and Ashley glanced at each other as Wario laughed, slapping his body.
"Beat-a that!" Wario stated as he poked Ashley's stomach, which growled back angrily. Wario opened his mouth, his bad breadth causing Ashley's stomach to whimper.
Ashley rolled her eyes. "Please. Watch this." She turned to Waluigi, smirking as she bent down, putting both of her hands on her big butt, which gotten a bit bigger.
Waluigi's eyes widened as he ran behind Wario, watching cautiously as Wario munched on some garlic he took out of his pockets, which Ashley giggling as she farted loudly, shaking not only he area, but the entire planet as well. Five minutes later, Ashley sighed of relief as she felt her butt mush heavier, massaging it as a juicy fart squeezed out, causing Wario and Waluigi to burst out laughing as they rolled on the floor.
"Wa ha ha! You really think that fart could outdo The Great Wario!" Wario teased as tears of laughter came out of his big cartoony eyes. "At least I didn't poop myself wile doing it!"
Ashley scoffed as she folded her arms, ignoring the fact that she pooped her pants. "So I can simply use my magic to make it disappear. Besides..." She narrowed her eyes as a loud, tuba-like fart blurted out from her, "I totally outdid you. I shook the entire planet, for crying out loud!"
Waluigi nodded as he controlled himself, standing up and patting Ashley on her head. "That's true, Ashley. But I think it would be best if you controlled your bowels..." He whispered in Ashley's ear, "After all, Wario clearly has the advantage of not staining himself when it comes to big farts..." He took a minute to realize what he was talking about, doing a double take as he groaned. "Augh! I'm talking about farts! What is wrong with me!"
Ashley got a sinister grin on her face, rubbing her hands together as thunder boomed. "Oh Waluigi... come down here, will you...?" Rather impatient, Ashley grabbed Waluigi and stuffed his face into her butt, farting as loud and smelly as possible, much to Waluigi's disgust. Wario laughed heartily as he taunted Ashley's farting, while Waluigi flailed his arms about, screaming as he tried to unsuccessfully pull out his head, while Ashley continued farting, simply laughing as the thunder died down mysteriously.
"...That didn't help at all!" Ness piped as he started crying, being comforted by Sonic The Hedgehog.