A/N: Gasp! Can it be? An IchiRuki story coming from Comatose Midnight? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!


Well, since one of my favorite Bleach pairings (aside from Ulquihime... heh heh... 8D) is, in fact, IchiRuki, I decided that I should finally write something with them as the main couple. Random oneshot I had the idea for and it sounded like a good idea to me, so I went for it. This was originally going to be called "Ten Reasons Why I Love Rukia Kuchiki", but I could only think of five! =\

It's got a bit of lemon in it, just a second warning. XP

I tried making it romantic and funny. I think that worked out okay, but you, my readers, are the ULTIMATE JUDGES! xO

Reviews feed my soul and keep me happy! 8D

Don't make me start demanding sacrifices in the form of Ulquiorra and/or Grimmjow plushies! D=

Heh heh...

I'm done now. =P

Five Reasons Why I Love Rukia Kuchiki

By: Ichigo Kurosaki

Reason #1: She's subtle, yet honest.

"Idiot! What the hell did you think you were doing? If you were killed, what do you think I would've done?" Rukia shouted. Ichigo scratched the back of his nervously; for once, he had nothing to say to the midget shinigami reprimanding him so harshly. He, admittedly, was toying with the seemingly weak hollow rather than finishing the job swiftly; he deserved every one of Rukia's scathing words. After all, he didn't know what he would've done if he had lost Rukia, how he would've gone on with his life without her; he really didn't.

Reason #2: She's a wonderful artist.

Ichigo glared and scowled at the drawing of him Rukia had done. He told her he hated it, but the truth was, that beneath the clear lack of skill within the piece was a beautiful work of art; he absolutely loved it. Obviously not for the childish quality, but for the emotion and thought Rukia put into it. The only reason he told her he hated it was because he was so used to doing so. Ichigo sighed. "I'll apologize to her later."

Reason #3: She makes me smile.

"Ichigo, what is this strange device? I've never seen anything like it!" Rukia implored, poking and prodding some gadget in the kitchen.

"It's a toaster, Rukia." Ichigo said, a bit annoyed. After all, Rukia had been in the world of the living long enough. Of all things, shouldn't she know what a toaster is?

"What does it do?" she asked innocently. Ichigo sighed dramatically. He walked to the cupboard, opened it, and snatched a slice of bread, popping it into the toaster and pushing down the handle.

"It… makes bread disappear? What a useless contraption…" Rukia muttered.

Ichigo folded his arms and rolled his eyes, "Give it a minute." Surely enough, about a minute later, the bread popped up from the confines of the toaster, browned and brittle rather than white and soft and airy.

"What kind of kido does this thing contain? There's no other explanation as to how the bread was transformed." Rukia reasoned.

"It just cooked the damn bread! It's not kido!" Ichigo was beginning to lose his patience. Well, truth be told, he was faking it. In actuality, Rukia's ignorance towards some of Earth's devices and gadgets and gizmos was endearing.

It made him smile.

Reason #4: She's just so innocent.

A desperate moan escaped Rukia's lips. Ichigo captured those lips with his own in a soft kiss. Their mouths moved against each other like a breeze against the soft petals of a newly blossomed flower. He had finally made Rukia his. Her body, mind, emotions, spirit; they all belonged to him. And all of Ichigo was given to Rukia in return. "Ichigo," Rukia whispered lustfully, "… move…" He did so, caressing and filling the inner void of her core with his member. They completed each other. Rukia coiled her long, slender legs around Ichigo's waist as he thrust in and out of her, the pleasure building, accumulating within them both. Rukia let out something between a whimper and a cry upon feeling her most sensitive region being stroked in the most intimate of ways. Fuck… Ichigo cursed inwardly, She really doesn't know what she's doing to me…

Reason #5: She loves me back.

"I hate you!" she cried, pounding her small fists against Ichigo's chest.

"Shh…" he soothed, "I'm okay, Rukia… It's okay…" He held her tightly, protectively to his body.

"How can you say that, you idiot? You almost died!" Rukia screamed. Ichigo remained silent for a moment before replying, "I know… I'm so sorry, Rukia…"

"I hate you so much…!" she sobbed quietly against his chest.

"… I know." Ichigo whispered into Rukia's hair.

"I hate you… I hate you…!" she emphasized each set of those three words with a single halfhearted hit of her fists against the substitute shinigami's chest, "… I… I don't hate you… I love you so much, Ichigo… so much that it hurts sometimes…!"

"I'm so sorry…" Ichigo repeated. He didn't know what else to say.

"It hurts…" Rukia continued, "but it's worth it. It's worth loving you, Ichigo..." She had stopped hitting Ichigo, but her tears hadn't yet ceased to run. She just let Ichigo hold her and she tightly clutched his hakama, as though afraid he was going to run away and leave her behind.


Ochi-sensei lowered her glasses down her nose, to give Ichigo a scrutinizing stare. Ichigo had recently told his teacher everything; what he was, why he and his friends were constantly going to the bathroom or the nurse, why they sometimes came to class with spontaneous injuries, etc. His teacher took everything rather well, and accepted his and the others' excuses to skip class without a problem (although she faked being suspicious just to make sure the other student's didn't think Ichigo and crew were getting special treatment). She grabbed a piece of chalk from a drawer in her desk and flung it at Ichigo's forehead. "'F', Kurosaki! You utterly failed the assignment!"

"What?" Ichigo couldn't help but blurt out; he had, after all, worked on that paper for hours.

"Well, for one thing," Ochi-sensei began after regaining her composure, "Part of this essay looks more like a manuscript for a porno story than a report."

Ichigo growled inwardly at the comment, but made no outward indication of his figurative emasculation.

"But more importantly, the essay is completely off-topic!" Ochi-sensei sighed, "How could you write about the wrong thing, Ichigo? I clearly specified the topic at least twice!"

Ichigo scratched his head nervously, "But Ochi-sensei, wasn't the assignment an essay on contradictions?"

Ochi-sensei looked at Ichigo stupidly for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Ichigo!" she guffawed, "We were in the middle of a health class!"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow.

"You weren't supposed to write an essay on contradictions! You were supposed to write a research paper about contraception!" She exploded into full-blown laughter once again, finally understanding Ichigo's misunderstanding.

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. "You're… joking, right…?"