Sequel to This Feeling; mostly true for me but put into Hogwarts Style.
(But I don't love him.)
It was so easy, to just tell you the words. To send you an owl at breakfast and watch you from across the hall as you opened it; your eyes widening and your jaw dropping. You searched the hall and looked to me for confirmation and I gave you the smallest of nods. Your mouth shut tightly and there was the smallest hint of a blush on your cheeks as you stood up and walked away.
It came as quite a shock, your letter. This is hard to say, I like you; I do, but just not in that way. I did when we were pretending to go out but I moved on because I didn't want to ruin our friendship.
I don't really know whether I still like you or not – I think I do – but we would never work. What would happen if was got into a messy breakup? Potions would be awkward and Snape wouldn't let us change partners. Maybe one day, when it doesn't matter so much. Maybe when we're not in the middle of war and school and inter-house non-relationships. Maybe.
A simple message, right? Wrong. When I opened it I felt my heart plummet to the recess of my dark inner self and hide away for the rest of eternity. I took a chance, a chance that I would probably never take again, and I failed. I was rejected, and it hurts! I mean come on, when we take chances we don't want to fail, we don't want to be rejected, so of course it stings a little – or a lot – when we don't get the outcome that we wanted.
I told you when we were pretending to go out that I wouldn't get too attached – I was wrong. I'm in love with you, and you won't even look me in the eye anymore. It hurts, it does. And you said maybe one day, but when will that be? We'll get just as judged here as we will in the real world, when we're grown up. What's the big different? But I know I can do nothing, and I just have to move on. You're stubborn; I know that you won't change your mind – for the moment anyway. I can wish all I want but all I can really do is hold my head high and go on with everything like nothing's changed, because it hasn't.
I'm still here, struggling along because I love you too damn much and you're still impassive and stubborn. And I'll be holding out for that day where you turn around and tell me you're ready, because those words are the only words I ever want to hear.
Just, don't forget me, whatever you do. Think about me, even if you marry Weasel one day and live happily ever after, just think about me and wonder if we really would've worked – which we would've – and just how damn great we would've been.
I just keep thinking that it's your loss, but it's mine too. I lost the only girl that could make me smile faster than you could snap your fingers, I lost the only girl who could make me angry and have intelligent conversations with me anytime – day or night.
I've lost you now, and one day you'll realize that. But for now, I'll just keep walking and try and act like everything's okay. But you'll know when you look into my eyes that they've broken, just a little. You broke me; but that's okay. I'm sweetly broken and wholly surrendered.
I love you.
What do you think? Please, tell me honestly.
Did you know that I have never even got one flame? That's so cool, because I even ask for them! (:
It does hurt, what happened. (I'm pretty much in Draco's place. The letter is our messages put together.) But I've just got to keep going really, there's nothing else I can do.